dammit poca, now she'll know it's me! no birds round here wear skirts!
Jack Monroe #209 Jack Monroe is late to conference
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She has ARTHRITIS you mithering ninnies she can only HEAVE a 90kg sideboard up a spiral staircase and POUND a treadmill she can’t carry a SATCHEL like a normal person*.
*I work in academia and this tweet just went viral among my colleagues so needless to say I am also a backpack wanker (my 10/10 recommendation is a Roka, btw - waterproof, recycled, stylish) so maybe Jack is just enacting her backpack birthright as a double doctorate?
I've tried downloading the app but it won't open. Nice one comrades
Ooh not long now! Is there a stream? Will we be the only people watching like every single other time she's made an appearance on something?
I also have a nice yellow Roka and I'm a teacher. I'm a cliche.
I should have thought about this yesterday in more detail, I don't think it's possible to just appear at short notice. Also I'm not sure I want to, I might get my skins kicked in. What time does her bit end?
Awwww come on, don’t tease us, get your bad self there right now or it will be slop for a week!
It looks like you need to register before going and the app won't work!
Jack's 'yes I am a nerd' offends me greatly. Who knew reading the back of sweet packets and posting about them on Twitter made you a nerd?
Oh wait, it doesn't.
Oh wait, it doesn't.
I think you could just walk in and shout Hello fellow comrades, it’s me Traazers, cabal member, mithering ninny,writer, author, comedian, bylines in unusual places...you’ll be reet.
Jack was, at most, 10 when Opal Fruits became Starbust. Now I wasn't a 1978 truther, but these tweets got me thinking...
Also, my court outfit finally arrived in the mail, how do I look?
Also, my court outfit finally arrived in the mail, how do I look?
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She's either older than she says or she's had an incredibly tedious life even by her own standards
I have downloaded Conference app, I hope it works. Also glad my wife is sleeping off last night's inadvisable decisions so I don't have to explain what I'm doing.
Pop the sweeties down love, check your pens and go solve poverty.
Imagine Marcus Rashford, on his way to talk at Conference, tweeting wildly about the difference between Nik-Naks and Wotsits.
Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall called it "The Wall of Sugar" at W. H. Smiths that you have to pass to get to checkouts. Kind of Jack to promote this overpriced confectionery
Remember when all the shops promised to stop all that? It lasted six months at most before all the sweets came back next to the point of sales.
How can I hear this gif? Are you magic?
Opal Fruits are back on the shelves after 22 years
The retro-version of the popular chewy sweets are now on sale at Poundland, Home Bargains, B&M, Iceland and Savers for £1
What about Marathons too?
I get how she goes on about sweets to up her engagement, but she doesn't eat sugar, right? am sure she said so.
Sorry @Pocahontas but you started it, would love to see Two Bags Went to Conference as a thread title. I might mention it nearer the time.
Back in the thread posters were having trouble locating J's Twitter. I don't follow or engage with her but I couldn't find it on search either, not for a while. It's really strange how a blue tick public personality uses different names across different platforms, surely it's very basic to have one clearly found work identity, even when your identity in the real world keeps morphing.
But but but...Jack doesn't eat sugar?
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