traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
I do not feel remotely bad for Jack. The kitten for me was the Rubicon. The figurative river, that is. Not the #1 mango brand in the UK as listed under Brand Facts on the website. I love brand facts.
- Notice
Emmapism
VIP Member
Evening all! Everyone okay?
I didn't get the Netflix job in the end, but that's okay. I'm starting a job for the Discovery channel in 7 weeks time so going to enjoy the rest of my summer while we have this gorgeous weather!
Miss chatting with you all but it has been nice popping in and out of other threads and seeing some 'familiar faces' here and there. Jack who?
I didn't get the Netflix job in the end, but that's okay. I'm starting a job for the Discovery channel in 7 weeks time so going to enjoy the rest of my summer while we have this gorgeous weather!
Miss chatting with you all but it has been nice popping in and out of other threads and seeing some 'familiar faces' here and there. Jack who?
Rosalillyrags
Member
Jack, mate.
You shouldn't drink or you should.
Who fucking knows.
One thing is clear, your cosplay on this subject has been an opportunity to leap on another bandwagon and spout shite.
And bollocks can you identify thirty or eleventy single malts by blind tasting them.
Fucksake.
Can you fuck.
No one can.
Twat.
(little edit to say that my stupid fucking husband died of drink... but not before he had damaged all of us and also left irreparable damage in his wide, wide wake)
You shouldn't drink or you should.
Who fucking knows.
One thing is clear, your cosplay on this subject has been an opportunity to leap on another bandwagon and spout shite.
And bollocks can you identify thirty or eleventy single malts by blind tasting them.
Fucksake.
Can you fuck.
No one can.
Twat.
(little edit to say that my stupid fucking husband died of drink... but not before he had damaged all of us and also left irreparable damage in his wide, wide wake)
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Nottonightbabe
VIP Member
I think one of my proudest moments on these threads was triangulating her Parmentier potatoes as Waitrose ones. Good times indeed
Sideboard Bob
VIP Member
Luckily for Jack, and us, the Great British Food Award winners aren’t announced until the 28th of October, or according to the mobile version, the 28th of baked Goods Sitemap October.
waffle maker
VIP Member
So the food in hotel quarantine is quite bad, but I’m wondering if Jack had a hand in lunch today. It is (I think) chicken in tomato soup with onion and rehydrated mashed potato. It cost £3500 to stay here. I bought the fork from Dubai because you aren’t allowed plates or cutlery.
BlendedSlop
VIP Member
2.38 PM on Sunday. Thirst trap bikini shot with some kind of "It's a bit hot isn't it?" caption.
Also, a year ago today...
Truly a defining "WTAF" period.
Also, a year ago today...
Truly a defining "WTAF" period.
ChickenPorridge
VIP Member
Hahaha I can't. This is an excerpt from Jack's meatball recipe on her site, all about making them with Marcus that day:
"And then I had to keep it a MASSIVE SECRET which god help me, has almost burst me with anticipation a few times over the past few weeks, especially when people have endlessly been asking on Twitter if we are going to be doing anything together. Serene emojis and poker faces all round."
Jack hun...the 'people on Twitter' meant are you doing anything together to work on ENDING CHILD FOOD POVERTY! Not you bouncing around like a blue arsed fly like you've won a competition to meet him.
"And then I had to keep it a MASSIVE SECRET which god help me, has almost burst me with anticipation a few times over the past few weeks, especially when people have endlessly been asking on Twitter if we are going to be doing anything together. Serene emojis and poker faces all round."
Jack hun...the 'people on Twitter' meant are you doing anything together to work on ENDING CHILD FOOD POVERTY! Not you bouncing around like a blue arsed fly like you've won a competition to meet him.
Oh god, the flashbacks I have to when I actually attempted this..
My youngest actually started crying. Her brother said it 'tasted like pond'. I can't believe I subjected my children to that contagion. What was I thinking?
In other (but sort of connected) news... Ruth and Eamonn on This Morning today had 'homemade pesto with pasta' Sadly not Jack (although I do believe she is still in talks with TM) but a lovely chap who not only made a delicious green pasta with homemade pesto but it was delicious and he was a pleasure to watch.
It is a mystery why they went with him and not Jack...
Geetbo
VIP Member
heretoreaditall2019
VIP Member
I feel so sorry for the dad, he’s probably her second saddest of all the victims? It’s bad enough she monetises SB’s trauma (even if the initial trauma is fabricated, she’s traumatising him by making this public domain with totally unboundaried detail) it makes the dad look like a total piece of shit. All acquaintances would assume he’d just fucked off, even good mates would have to check in on wtf is going on when she’s in the national press making out like she sold 20p plastic dinosaurs for jam? And look how quick she is to threaten anyone with a lawyer, I feel so sorry for him tbh.
MancBee
VIP Member
Another verse
I am what I am
When I mess up I have loads of excuses
I gather up hair
I find anywhere, it has lots of uses
It's my life, I was a pov and don't you know it
My life, don't look too close or you might blow it
My food's not worth a damn, so my son shouts out
"Mamapapa I want bread and jam?"
I'll stop now.
I am what I am
When I mess up I have loads of excuses
I gather up hair
I find anywhere, it has lots of uses
It's my life, I was a pov and don't you know it
My life, don't look too close or you might blow it
My food's not worth a damn, so my son shouts out
"Mamapapa I want bread and jam?"
I'll stop now.
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traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
How could I forget that photo of her pretending to be asleep in bed clutching her framed honorary doctorate certificate? That was a succulent slice of dry aged cringe.
Thankyou x dear heart @discokebab for the forensic statistics breakdown, you shan't be dying on that hill alone. I have previously speculated that if Jack is 5'1.7" then her bodyweight was likely equal to 1 SBQ (or Standard British Queen) at the time of her supposed lift. If you've never benched before then it's difficult to explain exactly how outrageous of a claim it is for a woman to bench press their own bodyweight, especially as part of a general training routine to pass a Fire Service fitness test rather than specifically for powerlifting. I don't even know why she was training bench press. Was she hoping to be able to lay on the floor of a burning building and launch the people trapped within out of the window to safety with the raw power of her pecs?
Thankyou x dear heart @discokebab for the forensic statistics breakdown, you shan't be dying on that hill alone. I have previously speculated that if Jack is 5'1.7" then her bodyweight was likely equal to 1 SBQ (or Standard British Queen) at the time of her supposed lift. If you've never benched before then it's difficult to explain exactly how outrageous of a claim it is for a woman to bench press their own bodyweight, especially as part of a general training routine to pass a Fire Service fitness test rather than specifically for powerlifting. I don't even know why she was training bench press. Was she hoping to be able to lay on the floor of a burning building and launch the people trapped within out of the window to safety with the raw power of her pecs?
Captainmouse
VIP Member
Dragging this across
Remembering when she claimed her son had created some floofle (or some such) for the bot man only for someone to spot it on her pj's
Remembering when she claimed her son had created some floofle (or some such) for the bot man only for someone to spot it on her pj's
kachoochoo
VIP Member
looks like the spectator's coming for Jack's bestie. I look forward to the supportive tweets 
traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
We have but one commandment.
Thou SHAN'T.
Thou SHAN'T.
SweetTransvestite
VIP Member
Wasn’t there a picture of a fireplace filled with lots of posh teabags?
There was also a time she made some tea/lemonade concoctions that left a lot to be desired.
Obviously this means she is more than qualified to judge tea.
View attachment 670493
UTI - Southend.
Stickybeaker33
Member
I’m still catching up on this thread so I don’t know where this will land but I saw something on Twitter that was extremely funny and reminded me of Jack
TheDragonWithAFlagon
VIP Member
All I want is a mansion somewhere
Five Emins and a MacBook Air
With two sofas and three sideboards there
Oh wouldn't it be luverly?
Lots of Waitrose food for me to eat
A bollock sausage for the kid's one treat
New face, new lips, fugly trainers for me feet
Oh wouldn't it be luverly?
Oh, so luverly sittin' abso-lutely bloomin' still
Join my Pa-tre-on, pay
Two grand a month and all of that time to kill
Someone's head resting on my knee
Rich and dim as she could be
Who takes good care of me
Oh, wouldn't it be luverly
Luverly
Luverly
Luverly
Luverly.
Five Emins and a MacBook Air
With two sofas and three sideboards there
Oh wouldn't it be luverly?
Lots of Waitrose food for me to eat
A bollock sausage for the kid's one treat
New face, new lips, fugly trainers for me feet
Oh wouldn't it be luverly?
Oh, so luverly sittin' abso-lutely bloomin' still
Join my Pa-tre-on, pay
Two grand a month and all of that time to kill
Someone's head resting on my knee
Rich and dim as she could be
Who takes good care of me
Oh, wouldn't it be luverly
Luverly
Luverly
Luverly
Luverly.