Jack Monroe #195 She basically writes fan-fiction about herself

[waffle maker]

Yes total Karen look. It’s a young acting boomer grannies who linger round the arts centre wearing ethnic jewelry look. My 70 year old mother has a million friends with this style.

 

[Pixieboots]

Well I know what we’ll all be wearing at Bellend Towers for hallowe’en this year. That’ll do.

Whenever you say Bellend Towers, I picture a castle with bollock domes for the main living spaces and knob-shaped towers. It's quite the mental image.

 

[Raker]

Writer AND author is a bit much. It's not like she's wrote a novel!

…. No but she does write fanfiction about herself, apparently

 

[Veronicaaa]

Looks as if the book may actually have some content in it now.

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sending lots of love @MancBee - the NHS has world leading cancer experts & surgeons so you’ll be looked after so so well my love, but thinking of you xx

How is this her doing 'edits'?? It looks like it's the start of a project.

 

[BananaSmith]

The caption on the Instagram version is even more nauseating than the picture (which I’ve cropped out, just try to imagine in your minds eye “rainbow falafels”)
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Perhaps the new book is a homage to A very hungry caterpillar but with disturbing food choices.

 

[kachoochoo]

Should I buy a bath bomb, a scented candle and listen to some up-tempo 80's shitty music whilst turning to a prune in the bath?

memememememe Had some really shitty health news yesterday. Trying to take it all in and make sense of it all. I have just got over one type of cancer, all clear in a letter a few weeks ago. End of the lockdown in sight, things are finally looking more positive.

Then the doctor rang out of the blue mid afternoon, only to tell me I most likely have another type of cancer. Emergency admission to a London hospital one day next week for biopsies, but my scans/blood tests/physical examination last week are pretty conclusive.

I am always positive about prospects, but even I am finding it hard this time. The thought of going through treatment and operations again just fills me with despair. Fingers crossed they have got it wrong this time.


Thanks to you lot of ninnies for providing me with a distraction, humour and support. It really does help.

so sorry. really hope everything turns out ok for you. you're such a wise, witty, knowledgeable presence here. massive hugs

 

[DinosaurSenior]

There are many ...who have fallen...along the way, in this past year. I mean you, dear Flumps, Grunkalunka and countless others who have defended the unrinsed bean.

But still we remain.

Also ... when's the anniversary of Jack's trip to Edinburgh? Do I need to be aware, in case of a return trip?

 

[Zelda]

They’d better not re-emerge as McMonroe tonight. It’s going to be a hard enough watch as it is.

Seriously though, stay off the socials Jack, you’re doing really well!

[I am half Scottish, so as previously established, I am your official correspondent on all things Scotchland]

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Example:
I have some bread and a toaster and butter and a tin of beans, what can I make?

A curry, obviously

 

[Mr Krabs]

I clicked on an article in The Breakdown that was one big undeclared advert for a CBD lube. I don’t really know how it’s allowed.
Jack is still listed as part of the team in ‘About Us’

A lot of the site is just crap guest blogs for SEO. So many blogs have this now. It'll just be some useless generic article like "10 tips for when you're feeling down" and it'll have some sneaky link to life insurance or double glazing or something. I once worked for an SEO agency, and they used to pay from £150-300 to place those guest blogs, so if you have a site with a decent domain authority score, you can make cash from it.

The first article I clicked on was about post-birth recovery. It didn't have much in the way of citations or proper research, but the last two paragraphs manage to advertise some range of nonsense post-birth products. Oh and there's an entire article about those ugly Snag Tights. Wow, my mental health issues have been cured by buying shit.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Latest Twitter stats:

Twitter stats for June:

 

[Captainmouse]

No just the mackie thread invaded by chairs! Must be a tattle thing

 

[onlysunshine]

I'm surprised she has to keep inventing injuries

I'll take myself to tattle jail for this illegal early thread title nomination...

 

[Emmapism]

Plus they will claim they are press etc. You're an online magazine that hardly anyone reads. I mean that's pushing it isn't it? Yes everyone has to start somewhere but as such, you don't stroll in like Billy Big bollocks expecting places to gift a free stay.

You might have to (*shudder*) pay for it yourself!

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

She missed us obviously! Had to post on jack day!

 

[Eurgh]

6. Go to Harvey Nicks and buy many new versions of clothes you already own.

7. Post thirsty bra selfies.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

ETA: Ffs giphy kept putting the wrong gif in!

If only there was someone at Giphy you could speak to about this, some kind of supervisor, or maybe a manager?

 

[Bwidge]

Should I buy a bath bomb, a scented candle and listen to some up-tempo 80's shitty music whilst turning to a prune in the bath?

memememememe Had some really shitty health news yesterday. Trying to take it all in and make sense of it all. I have just got over one type of cancer, all clear in a letter a few weeks ago. End of the lockdown in sight, things are finally looking more positive.

Then the doctor rang out of the blue mid afternoon, only to tell me I most likely have another type of cancer. Emergency admission to a London hospital one day next week for biopsies, but my scans/blood tests/physical examination last week are pretty conclusive.

I am always positive about prospects, but even I am finding it hard this time. The thought of going through treatment and operations again just fills me with despair. Fingers crossed they have got it wrong this time.


Thanks to you lot of ninnies for providing me with a distraction, humour and support. It really does help.

Sorry to hear this MancBee. We all love you such a lot and hope it's not as serious as your fear xx

 

[Silver Linings]

Is she in one of those anti drug taking loos?

 

[MancBee]

Black pudding, cheese, sausage, beef, tuna, chicken, salmon, butter ( ), bone marrow, sardines, milk, bacon.

90% Vegan?

Tomato bread and butter pasta. All that carbohydrate, no protein. Yuk.