Jack Monroe #193 Mama, pass the UNICEF statistics and the Hansards!

[bladiesla]

Normally frauen request that Jack get out of their specific niche. Not I! I welcome Guitar Jack with open arms. It is actually possible to play a guitar with one hand but that would require dexterity, skill and talent and Jack has not once demonstrated any of these traits.

I don't know if this is catty or just facts but her new hair reminds me of a schnauzer. Her watch looks like an expensive cable tie with the strap like that. The skirt looks like a jaunty table runner. This is not what Viv would have wanted.

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I might have hooted up a lung seeing this....(and that is why the cable is the best)

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Please lord give us more influencer Jack content

That skirt looks like the sateen Wilkos pillows you get with matching curtains, bed linen, etc that either come in red flowers or blue and purple stripes. She’s been had for £4.99 x

Would of been £3.99 but they charge you more if the item of clothing you pick is feeling jolly

 

[bladiesla]

To be fair, the picture of the skirt gets an order of magnitude more likes than the pea slowcooker nonsense.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

If you had severe PTSD from the Poverty TM, and dreams of a forever home for SB, would you really, really drop large sums of money on designer fashion items?

 

[Fruitjack]

Poor squig has been awake for a week, eyes propped open with matchsticks, stumbling like a zombie into work, without realising that they could simply Google a recipe, using that exact device they used to tweet, which might even work.

 

[Emmapism]

 

[bazzam]

View attachment 607312Poor squig has been awake for a week, eyes propped open with matchsticks, stumbling like a zombie into work, without realising that they could simply Google a recipe, using that exact device they used to tweet, which might even work.

good lord. these crawly bumlicks are bleeping enablers.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Well ya know she only bought the Mulberry bag because it’s an investment. Obviously if she’s poor again, say, poor enough to not be able to buy butter, she can simply sell the world’s mankiest bag second hand. Form an orderly queue.

I was gonna say 'an investment that she's subsequently ruined?' and then realised that is absolutely on-brand for Jack.

She's such a terrible bleeping spokesperson, could imagine the social media sorts at the companies she buys this stuff from have to steel themselves when they see she's tagged them. She reminds me of Mrs Hinch, with her incredibly cack-handed attempts at cleaning hacks that wind up being potentially dangerous or ruin people's kitchen fittings, although in fairness Jack does have a personality, even if it is one she's curated herself from Enid Blyton books and episodes of Steptoe and Son.

 

[Hollaaa]

It's like Daniella Westbrook taking down Burberry all over again.

 

[Suffolkmum]

Please lord give us more influencer Jack content

That skirt looks like the sateen Wilkos pillows you get with matching curtains, bed linen, etc that either come in red flowers or blue and purple stripes. She’s been had for £4.99 x

Yes! I knew it reminded me of something

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Shocked that’s a less than ten year old Mulberry bag, it looks like it smells of sweat.

Wasn’t she still living precariously when her first book came out? I don’t care about people buying nice things but feels odd that you’d go from drinking formula to sustain yourself in your HMO straight to dropping nearly a grand on a bag...?

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Not the “first book advance” bag again- gets some airing that lie story
But bless she’s tagged them.
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Also shes NOT recovered
View attachment 607126

 

[Lanie]

Shocked that’s a less than ten year old Mulberry bag, it looks like it smells of sweat.

Wasn’t she still living precariously when her first book came out? I don’t care about people buying nice things but feels odd that you’d go from drinking formula to sustain yourself in your HMO straight to dropping nearly a grand on a bag...?

Can she not have nice things!!!!

She slung slop for that bag she deserves it.

Her child still seems to like doodling in anything but paper. I think I would be having a word with the child tbh.

Laughing at the skirt. Perhaps it fell into her bag and her bank card fell into the card machine at John Lewis and because covid an all they can't take backsies.

 

[Vanelope]

I don’t think that is the mulberry bag. I can’t think of a style like that with flat sides and a detachable strap. The Alexa has the front buckles but also has pleated sides so it can open up wider. There is no postman’s lock on the front or oak tree plate. The messenger bags have no front buckles. I don’t know all the discontinued bags but also we know she lies.
Either way, it looks rank like it has sat in a puddle of slop.

 

[Mr Krabs]

jack: I buy myself One Nice Thing every book advance in case I'm ever poor again and can resell it

also jack: I have heavily soiled and broken a designer bag and I poke holes in pleather lapels

Nothing screams 'I had a comfortable upbringing' than trashing designer goods. Easy come, easy go, innit.

 

[Hollaaa]

Upper - send the bag to Mulberry for repairs, darling
Middle - keep it in its dust bag or display on the wall GET BAD CASE OF VAPOURS IF TRASHED possibly claim on insurance
Working - use something from New Look until it falls apart

Sixth Form Jack - stick an Oliver Bonus strap to it and let child draw on it?

 

[Vanelope]

Upper - send the bag to Mulberry for repairs, darling
Middle - keep it in its dust bag or display on the wall GET BAD CASE OF VAPOURS IF TRASHED possibly claim on insurance
Working - use something from New Look until it falls apart

Sixth Form Jack - stick an Oliver Bonus strap to it and let child draw on it?

This is the only metric where I am upper anything

 

[PortiaControl]

If you had severe PTSD from the Poverty TM, and dreams of a forever home for SB, would you really, really drop large sums of money on designer fashion items?

She's terrified of the knock of the bailiffs on the door. TERRIFIED.

 

[Emmapism]

View attachment 607424

Nothing screams 'I had a comfortable upbringing' than trashing designer goods. Easy come, easy go, innit.

When you've been walking around with a four grand watch on your wrist, a Mulberry bag is chump change

 

[Dogmuck]

She's terrified of the knock of the bailiffs on the door. TERRIFIED.

Can’t open her mail - TERRIFIED