Jack Monroe #193 Mama, pass the UNICEF statistics and the Hansards!

[MancBee]

When your pasta's all hard
And is covered in lard
That's a moleeee

When linguini is green
It should never be seen
That's a moleeee

 

[Nottonightbabe]

When you join thread 31
Fraus be like "are you done?"
That's a mole

Well you threatened the fraus
But it's #193 now
That's a moleeeee!

 

[MancBee]

When you're on his show
Eamonn sniggers, we know
That's a moleeee

When you're on TV
The cabal's full of glee
That's a moleee

When you're covering your arse
You cut your toe on some glass
That's a mole

(The last one only works if you've got a middle class Southend accent)

 

[Pixieboots]

The moray version of the song has reminded me of one of my other all time fave memes:

 

[Captainmouse]

With your shark like eyes
and constant porkie pies
that’s a molee

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I am laughing so much!!! I love love love these!!!!!!!

 

[Captainmouse]

When you take off your hat
and you’re sporting kumquat
that’s a molee

 

[Dogmuck]

When your dirty cutlery
messes with our Manc Bee that’s a moleeee

 

[MancBee]

When you grate your corned beef
It puts on edge all my teeth
That's a moleeee

When your cake's like a brick
And your stews look like sick
That's a moleeee

(There were so many options with that last one, I decided to keep it clean)

 

[Mitzymooface]

When you grate your corned beef
It puts on edge all my teeth
That's a moleeee

When your cake's like a brick
And your stews look like sick
That's a moleeee

(There were so many options with that last one, I decided to keep it clean)

Paging slopbot...

 

[HotesTilaire]

When you don’t time cooking pasta live in the pot,
It’s “slightly” undercooked, you lose your slot
On this m-ooorning

 

[MancBee]

When your bungalow has stairs
And you've too many chairs
That's a moleeee

When you sleep in a tent
In a garden you rent
That's a moleeee

When you rent a big home
Though you live there alone
That's a moleeee

(Last one was a bit cruel...but accurate)

 

[Captainmouse]

When you piss off the viggles,
you lose lots of squiggles
that’s a molee

 

[MancBee]

When you've a wig on your head
Looks like you're straight out of bed
That's a mole

When the doc's by your bed
Prescribing lipstick, bright red
That's a moleeee

When you cook in your shed
And we can't see your head
That's a moleeee


I must stop.

 

[Captainmouse]

When A 20 pound shop
will only produce slop
thats a molee

 

[Jelly Bean]

When you tweet about your poos
And you wear clumpy shoes
That's a molee

 

[kachoochoo]

when you've got ouchy lip
and a communal skip
that's a mole

 

[bowiethesdmn]

A little ode to piano Jack...

When you call yourself maestro
And put on a trite show
That's amoleee

When you hammer the keys
with a display of unease
that's amoleeeee

When your musical binge
makes everyone cringe
that's amoleeeee

View attachment 602718

Thanks for the new thread Hotes!

This photo puts me in mind of hugging the toilet bowl and trying to stop the dry heaves after a night of heavy everythinging.

There's also probably a toilet-talent analogy to be made here but I'm too tired so just pretend I did.

eta: oh god i ruined the singalong

 

[indigomoon]

When your labia escape
Stick some slop on a crepe
That’s amoleeee

 

[Captainmouse]

When your labia escape
maybe try tit tape
thats a molee