Jack Monroe #178 I am a human being and I make mistakes

[Toffee finger]

Honestly I live for slop slagging. It's no fun when she's being a raging twat and genuinely upsetting people. Well, apart from all of Spain with that rice dish. Has she not learnt from when Sorted Food made a paella burrito?

I thought of that too! Jamie made it again in yesterday’s video He did at least call it Spanish inspired rice instead of paella this time.

 

[Lanie]

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Ahh the Tory power pose

One year on, and the cringe is just as strong

She looks like shes in the throws of labour in that photo. Who actually stands like that honestly.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I wish she would just admit one thing.

She hates food and wants to see it die.



Isn't that the same as her?

Yeah but my Anan could cook and we were all scared of her, haha! Not like Yack.

 

[Flash123]

I feel like I should know this, but what's the story of Jollof rice (not the dish I mean, the JM story)?

In the THAT MAN chaos she launched into criticism of him being given a channel 4 show saying he was getting all up in her niche in the same way that he did a ‘jerk rice’ recipe which was accused of cultural appropriation

 

[Malkiavelli]

I love you dear heart for saying how much you eating. Me too.
Perhaps Slimming World could sign up Jackie next. Gold stars all round with weight loss cos no-one would eat that fuckers recipes would they.

Maybe *this* is her true calling - producing food so bad that even greedy fuckers feel repulsed by the idea of eating what she comes up with...

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Absolutely. Having a baby makes you the centre of any encounter. Even strangers make a fuss of both the baby and the mother. She would love all that attention.

Can you imagine the Twitter content? The adoration from the sycophantic squiggles? The descriptions of the most mundane baby tasks and how much she has to struggle on her own? Everybody fussing over her as if she is the only person to have ever had a child. Doesn't bear thinking about.

She'd love all that, though she'd be incredibly resentful of the other side of it, having to actually take care of someone round the clock. No more dino naps when she fancies, no time to play dress up for Twitter and take a ton of selfies. She'd hate having to put someone else's needs first .

 

[Fraggle]

All this doesn’t add up ( what a surprise) if she’s not in the RENTED bungalow how has she managed to get hold of this frozen wonder

 

[EllaEm87]

She's been very well behaved since the fiasco.....Has she finally learned her lesson....?!
Stay tuned in too find out.

Dream on!

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Who has the photo of her manky rusty unsafely hung knife collection?

Which doesn't exist because all she needs is a single bread knife

That was on insta, she had a label for them which read 'pointy things'

 

[MancBee]

Or Acorn Antiques?!

Yes, she could play Mrs Overall and make some delicious macaroons. Oh I see a problem there, she can't make delicious anything.

 

[PoorPatrol]

It was included in her rant about That Man. Because he appropriated jollof rice. One Rant to Start It All. (It’s all in the Lime Goss article if you haven’t read it)

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Memorieeeees.... light the corners of my mind

 

[MancBee]

She'd love all that, though she'd be incredibly resentful of the other side of it, having to actually take care of someone round the clock. No more dino naps when she fancies, no time to play dress up for Twitter and take a ton of selfies. She'd hate having to put someone else's needs first .

She would treat it like a dolly, passing it back to Owen whenever the going got even in the slightest tough. Either that or make her son do stuff like nappy changes and all the mundane tasks. She would say she is teaching him the responsibilities of adulthood, all in the guise of palming off what is her responsibility. She said she would only have one with Owen if he synchronised with her other child's father.

In other words, she would only have the baby around when there's her other son to take care of it.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Makes me think of Buffalo Bill's pad in Silence of the Lambs. Packed to the rafters with crap!

Big Mr Trebus energy going on in that hellshite kitchen. The absolute state of the grout on those tiles

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Every time I see the thread title I hear Morrissey in my ears.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

She's trying to make it look like she can muli task with all the shit around her yet, she can barely let a panof pasta boil properly whilst making a simple roux

Big mistake. She has NO idea what a roux is.

 

[Hollaaa]

Just out of curiosity - is this the same area that New Order are from? Because Bernard's description of where he grew up is so bloody bleak I actually thought he might have been joking?!? But reading these recollections make me feel differently.

One of my best teenage memories was going into town to do a bit of shopping and seeing Bernard Sumner driving along Deansgate in a red convertible on a sunny Saturday afternoon in the early 90s, blasting out his own tunes and living his best life. I never knew he was from Broughton, that's a bit closer into Manchester than where I'm from but not by much.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

@colouredlines you absolute madlad, I can't believe you've done this. That was after our puppyish pixie ate Allegra's hand-delivered _plump_ clitoral clams, fingered a mysterious M&S lasagne and hoofed ~unctuous~ fishy eggs in bed.

I’m seeing mental images I shouldn’t be seeing @traumatised sideboard lucky for you I don’t have a lawyer.

 

[Captainmouse]

Why can’t she just call it stir fry?

Cos it’s slop, she can’t stir fry cos she doesn’t understand the concept of hot oil in pan

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

oh LJC, we did Kevin breaking up people’s marriages and getting people up the duff at least three years ago

Fuck me, only three years ago? My arsehole ex was pissing himself laughing at my saying something like that in around 2001. I've been through two long term relationships and the best part of a decade with Mr D since then.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I think it's the latter @colouredlines. If one has put time and emotional investment into a public figure they might feel silly when that person starts being a dick, hence the defensiveness. Idk, just my thoughts on it.