Jack Monroe #169 Please don’t argue about turnips

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replace32titles

I took up gardening last year by growing a few vegetables from seed in pots (M&S were giving away seedling kits) and this year, with what I learnt, I'm going a little bit bigger. What I haven't done, either year, is spend a month's salary on pre-existing plants that will almost certainly be dead within a month.

(If anyone wants to try growing a few veggies in pots, I'm really enjoying Leyla Kazim, a food presenter who's using her social media to do weekly how-to videos and the reason I have twelve miniature pepper plants that surely must produce actual peppers before November this year.)
 
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Orphan_Black

I got a seed kit for xmas, chilli, tomato and onions, I have three chilli sproutlings and a whole bunch of tomato plants. I'm really excited. All on my kitchen windowsill too!

Jack couldn't even tell if she had wild garlic in her 'paradise' yesterday. How do her followers not see the quick turn from dunce to professor on any given subject? Is Jack even aware herself that she is doing it?!
 
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CabalofBolorneaise

So true. This may also explain the seeming apathy towards her missing deadlines for the next one from her publishers/agent - it’s not really worth their time to chase it up if they expect a similar volume sold, is it?
 
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SweetTransvestite

Just been chatting to this fella in the back garden. Apparently he's had to flee his native Southend due to being harassed and stalked by a strange woman who spent an uncomfortable amount of time watching him yesterday.
Obviously, I've squiggled to protect his identity but he's now safe under the witness protection program.
 
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ReginaPhalangee

what an anonymous glove, I love him
 
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Veronicaaa

Well, I've ordered a ticket for the Ted thing tonight. Whether I'm feeling sufficiently masochistic come 7pm remains to be seen.
 
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A

Aardvark

Read "have you every grown beans" while sat in a verrry slow Teams call and snorted with laughter, oops
 
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Lanie

W Whats happening with her new book? The last I saw on here there was a 13 year old class project Styled leaflet *spoiler* any more on that? Whens it being released ??
 
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heretoreaditall2019

Inspired by @lilamay and @Veronicaaa, comparing Jack’s google search activity with comparable cooks/authors. Sorry this is gonna be long and not everyone’s cup of tea (dull lol) so under a spoiler it goes
Data notes: this for UK, 12 months, used search term rather than the google allocated groupings as I suspect it disadvantages smaller names. All of this is subject to interpretation and by no means gospel, and encourage ppl with opinions to disagree with my very biased anti Jack stance

Anyway first up is Jack’s related searches, these are indexes not absolute search volume so Twitter is her most searched for term. Recipes is close to half as frequently searched, as is tattle. Tattle and recipes are very close to being equally searched for. I’d guess these search volumes are hundreds to low thousands which is abysmal for a full time job tbh.



Trends also shows search volume over time, Jack’s only peaks are around DKL or big Twitter beefs like Waliams. Not around book release which is... not diagnosed gifted and talented. In examples I’ve worked on / friends you’d expect to see spikes driven by any media appearance - news, tv, radio, podcasts, YouTube, she’s done all of those and nothing really drives interest like her Twitter beefs. Her follower count corroborates this, never goes up unless she’s sharing triggering shit or whipping up outrage.

Now onto her peers. You’ve got book or Guardian in their top (interesting no one seeks out Jack’s press work too? Lol). Gizzi and Ruby Tandoh had too low search volumes so google don’t release their related searches sadly. But you can go play around with this and take a look, Jack’s looks shit next to everyone’s lol.




In summary WHYYY is she still getting booked for writing gigs?? She’s not driving anyone to publications, she’s certainly not fucking selling hers, token media pov play.

This was like a reverse pitch deck for her, she’ll be on the John Lewis app getting her sweet frumpy high now
 
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colouredlines

May Vlad bless you with plentiful Bitcoin!
 
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StringyMango

When I first joined up here I had a feeling she'd pick up on plants/gardening. (It's how my partner makes a living). As you lads have said it probably won't last long. Plants do need care and attention on a long term basis after all.
My prediction for early Autumn/ end of summer. Environmental Jack. You read it here first!
 
Reactions: 32
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