Jack Monroe #155 What a sad little life, Jack

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She really sounds like she’s having an episode.

I know she’s likely not, and is just high on likes. But...
Was going to say you can always tell when the endorphins kick in. She goes completely fucking giddy. Resulting in all of the hilarity...
 
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That’s exactly what she thinks! #bekind but only to blue tickers, her flying monkeys and anyone not asking her a direct question.

I’m sure it was only last week that she was begging someone on Twitter to add her to a group that made fun of other people’s cooking. The irony was lost on her but god forbid anyone do the same to her!
 
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"hi, I'm jack monroe, author, writer, notachef, accidental conqueror of fears, smol pixie, campaigner, poet, founder of #thunderclapforcarersnevermentionitagain, socialist who just happens to really like designer bags, scarves, luxury furniture, fine art, ali express necklaces, horrible tattoos, hanging out with tories, landlords and I'm entitled to an enormous forever home bought outright in a nice part of town. socialists deserve nice things too and keep the capitalist system going and if you disagree with me you need to get to fuck and you're all flag shagging gammons, especially all you twats on tattle, despite the vast majority of you being more left-leaning than me now fuck off and #bekind and leave me alone

now, I'm going to sing landslide"
 
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Me and my friend used to buy men’s trousers from C&A for school in the late 80’s early 90’s no one blinked an eye and our school while not liking us not wearing skirts never kicked up a fuss
She reaaaaaallly wants to be victimised but I get the feeling if she was faced with harassment that wasn't cribbed straight from a Carry On film or fucking Grace Bros then she'd be genuinely traumatised. No one gives a shit, honestly. I'm a contractor from a male-dominated industry now working in a mostly female environment and I've had sexism but I've had a lot more men stand up for me, let me speak for myself, or take me under their wing and show me parts of the job that interest me. Blokes are generally nice, shock horror.

The homophobic abuse I could buy cos you will get knuckle-dragging idiots shouting slurs even in tyool 2021, my wife gets it on occasion cos she's super-butch (and also fucking handy so don't worry about her!) but the pearl-clutching Tory brigade don't give a shit they have other stuff to worry about.

I know it's iffy ground when you're discussing discrimination other people have experienced and if it was anyone else I wouldn't comment, but IMO Jack is fair game cos she's putting all this out there and lying about incredibly inconsequential things
 
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There's a few reasons she could be giddy

A) Her books gone in (unlikely)

B) She has been given another extension to the deadline (possible)

C) Her son is at his dad's and she is getting ready for luurrrrvvv with BB (I'd rather not think about that)

D) She has got some TV work (even less likely)

E) She has bought a house (another possible)

F) She is an insufferable narcissist that thrives on the attention she is getting after she has been starved of it for 24 hours whilst attempting to finish her book (BINGO)
 
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Brown lived at both AFAIK. He started in 10 anyway, don’t know if he moved across when he became PM
I was going to say simpler days but I don’t think they were.

It is like that thing where the music era of the your late teens/early twenties seems like it was the best era ever but actually it isn’t. I read a study once about the psychological (and neurological) explanation for the rose-tinted glasses effect. It made sense for those who look to the past in a certain way.

Is this OT?

Have I gone off on a tangent?

Is she still being #notkind?
 
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Depends which one she went for but, the satchel type one is currently on John Lewis (yes I have the app on my phone and yes, I'm an aspirational dick) for 1200 or thereabouts.

She'd have been better off paying more for the tats and less on a bag she admitted to thrashing.
 
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G) she is about to release the granola recipe
 
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Brown lived at both AFAIK. He started in 10 anyway, don’t know if he moved across when he became PM
I think (don't quote me on this) that he started out in 11 as Chancellor and very shortly afterwards, Blair decided/agreed/whatever that he would move in there because they had a bunch of children, whereas Brown didn't, so they'd swap. Since then, it's suited the PM each time to move into the one most suited to the number of children they have or acknowledge.
 
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I have a fake Mulberry handbag. In Dubai, despite it being a police state, you can get fakes really easily. Some friends came over to visit and she has actual Mulberry bags and she wanted to get a bag. After an all you can drink brunch we went to the district and the bag sellers take you to secret places behind hidden doors and above shops and we saw a mulberry bag and it cost = £100. The man showed us it was real by holding a lighter next to it and it didn’t burn (we were amazed and both got one). The first time I used it the strap clasp snapped because it was made of plastic. The friend and her husband split up soon after this and he’s now living with a Turkish Barber in a love nest and she got all his money and pension in the divorce.
 
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This all sounds reasonable and sensible, but in my head, the Benny Hill theme tune is playing, while there’s a sped up montage of the two families dashing between the doors, armed with boxes and plants, someone accidentally carrying the wrong kid into their new home, face-palms and laughs all round,
 
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That is a one act play https://giphy.com/ZdUnQS4AXEl1AERdil
 
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She's like that age saying she's is about as funny as having syphilis.

Also @MancBee she's perhaps already had BB loving and this is the comedown.
 
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