Jack Monroe #154 The book has furloughed itself

[MancBee]

I am reposting this while we wait for a rash update.

6th February 2018
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I'll stop reposting old stuff, I promise.

If it is a private joke between Jack and her dad, why is she putting it on social media for everyone to see and read? If she didn't want people to comment, then she shouldn't have posted it online. She could have sent her dad a private message, or an email. Then she wouldn't have had to be nasty to someone pointing out that her comment made no sense. Private jokes should be just that, private.

 

[I’MBUSY!]

No update and she has ignored everyone who has asked her. She does this all time. Huge injury chaos drama one day then it never gets mentioned again.

[DEADLINE LOOMS/NOT MUCH ATTENTION THE PREVIOUS DAY (Delete as appropriate)]

Jack: I have never known worse pain. I've taken EVERYTHING. WHYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Squigs: OMG, Jack, have you tried bonjela?
Jack: I just said I've tried EVERYTHING, you credulous little twats. I'm off to A&E, because I don't want to bother the GP.
Publisher: Oh, Jack! That sounds terrible! I think the best thing to do is just to extend your submission date, and take the pressure off you. You take care of yourself, and let us know when you feel up to talking.
Jack:

 

[nightfeedz]

Me neither, but maybe I’m too far north being from Belfast

Babe, same but don’t worry neither had Jack.

I must say ‘bitch please, this bag is Cath Kidston’ is still making me want to cry with embarrassment.

 

[Emmapism]

That's the Jack mystique. She's an idiot wrapped in a moron.

Because there is nothing Jack does better than publicly state she's an expert on things she knows nothing about in order to fake humble brag.

I have just discovered that one of my new work friends is....connected and knows certain people. When it is safe to do so you better believe we are going out for a drink and I will bring back allllllll of the tea. If there is any of course

 

[Anonymous One]

I hope I didn’t cause offence earlier, to yourself or the blogger. It just seems like jack adds a new disorder to her profile every other waking moment it seemed like more of the same..... my only real criticism is around the food pricing... how can Jack’s followers not see that she plays into Tory views with the £20 a week shop and her 17p tiny portions of gruel?

That’s what I love about this thread. Someone says something and someone else disagrees, adding a new perspective.

There’s no retort of ‘that’s what I meant!’, ‘I said that you bullying ninny’ or ‘say hello to the cabal for me’.

There’s an ‘ah that’s a really interesting point’, a happiness at learning something new and gaining a new perspective & often an apology (which is usually unnecessary but very respectable). Nobody is offended, everyone is enlightened and nobody is conned out of their heating allowance.

There are certainly worse hobbies to have (especially when all hobbies outside the home are currently cancelled!).

 

[Pocahontas]

A collection of congratulations to @Harrybosch for your dry wit, and @MarzBarzie and @Captainmouse for the nomination! Huzzah. Your prize: VIP tickets to the book launch (don’t hold your breath).

Recap of last thread

1. She showed off the artwork that was both ‘bought in better times’ and a gift from an ex. Also on display was the sofa that ‘Katie Hopkins paid for’.
2. Someone drew her like Nigella’s garden.
3. Good morning from her, her book deadline and her evil eye.
4. Turns out she has had some past dealings with Sarah Awkisombe. Awkward. Shouldn’t have boasted about having a Go Henry card.
5. Uh-oh, technical troubles with the book. Why her? Why now? Just tweet about cheese, baby.
6. What more could befall her? Rash on her face, that’s what. The outrage. Don’t offer her remedies. She tried everything.
7. Spoiler: Housekeeping

   [*]
   Please use the words ‘thread title’ when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search.
   
   New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.
   [*]

 

[Captainmouse]

So no update from NarcUs Rashface this morning?

Now that is thread title
#thread title NarcUs Rashface

 

[LavaFlake]

I hate the term 'ally' too. Makes me thing of all the Nice Guys™️ like the smolrobot man.

The sm*lrobot man called his wife a Spousebot today. To paraphrase Jack, I did a lil sick in my mouth.

 

[waffle maker]

If being a melt means a phone full of screenshots and laughing at gloves, melt me up.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

@waffle maker excuse you, it's because of the Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria she experiences due to her SEVERE adult ADHD which conveniently gives her free reign to be a complete tosser at every opportunity.

That photo of her so-called peaky blinder get-up is ridiculous, her fashion sense is abysmal. Never seen so many collars concentrated in one outfit. What even is that outer coat, it looks like a jacket potato skin.

 

[MancBee]

She has retweeted this blog who is ‘inspired’ by her

A skint disabled queer’s guide to eating

Okay, so let’s make this clear first: I am no Bootstrap Cook. Jack is a huge inspiration to me but I am not a chef. I am not a nutritionist. I do not have any kind of expertise on food or hea…

weegingerspoonie.home.blog

which then has the lines “And I’m shite at maths so I’ll give you the real price of buying it, not the breakdown of each portion to make it seem cheaper (looking at you, Tory twitter).”

Not going to do the exact thing Jack does which is break it down by the penny but is inspired by her and blaming Tory Twitter all in one go. No sense!

What has the fact they are queer got to do with anything? They are blogging about food, nothing to do with gender, so I'm at a bit of a loss.

I can sort of go along with mentioning being disabled, as that could affect the access to food supply, but as their store of choice is Tesco, I'm not sure that is relevant either. Disability is only briefly mentioned in the blog three times, twice to say they are multiple disabled, and one to say they have spoken to other disabled people.

I am a gay man, I'm multiple disabled and I have chronic ailments, but I don't mention these things unless they are relevant and have an impact on what I'm talking about. I hate the way that people define themselves by their ailments gender, or sexuality.

I don't start every conversation with "I am a gay man, disabled and chronically ill". I don't introduce myself as that either. If it is relevant I will tell you during the course of the conversation.

These people signpost these things and use them to stop any criticism of them, as people become wary of being accused of an "ism".

 

[Orphan_Black]

Ms Sodha is extremely connected, has an eating disorder and rips off recipes because she has no ideas of her own because she isn't a vegan.

Awh, could we not use having/recovered from an ED as an insult please?

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Wants to eat something she doesn't have to cook?! Why doesn't she just go and get a chippy like she did when she was still Covid-contagious?

 

[MancBee]

The more I think of it, the more her "don't meddle" with anything Irish bothers me.

It is borderline white supremacist to suggest that it is ok to use and alter the recipes of India, Pakistan, Caribbean, but no one from those cultures should attempt to alter in any way a recipe from Ireland.

I'm pretty sure she doesn't realise how distasteful her comments are, it still boils down to the fact that she has very racist tendencies.

 

[PoorPatrol]

Phillip just can't die until he knows her granola recipe

He’s actually waiting for the vegan pork crackling, so he’ll be living until 157 at least.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

As a sideboard with a forensic interest in tattoos, hers are objectively tragic. They're all blown out. You can't even tell what that thing is underneath 'First Do No Harm'. It looks like some kind of sea anemone. There's nothing wrong with going for the sticker approach to a sleeve but she clearly just kept waltzing into whatever studio happened to be closest (or judging by the quality, cheapest) as soon as she saw an idea on Pinterest. Only my opinion, Your Honour - she wanted the aesthetics of being tattooed to 'look hard' without having any real interest in tattoos as an art form.

Also I have medieval weapons and armour tattooed on me you fucking weasel, I'd be more afraid if you threatened to force feed me some botulism-laced lard-based slow-cooked slop.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Could you imagine being her line manager? She is such a know it all, been there, done that, can't tell me anything.

That's before you start on the ailments, accidents, bolshy attitudes, stroppy nature, taking offence, failing to meet deadlines, excuses, needing daytime dino naps, having to praise her for everything, etc etc.

There would be so many complaints about the mean old woman on the next desk (if it were anywhere near me);

'She told me I should stop eating things that make my lips swell up!'

'She told me that I shouldn't put topical medications that cause skin irritation on irritated skin!'

'She told me that it's not safe to take multiple versions of medications in the same group at once!'

'She said she couldn't see any bald spots and my hair looked lovely and healthy when I told her my hair was falling out!'

'She suggested I wrote a draft and proofread it before sending it out, when everybody knows I'm the One And Done person!'

'She said my house was lovely when I RENT IT!'

'She asked me how my holiday was when I NEVER GO ON HOLIDAY!'

'She told me not to ask her to lend me any money when I'M STARVING and pointed out that my bag of makeup from Boots that I brought back from lunch yesterday would have covered what I was asking her to lend me'

'She said that rearranging my desk and pens and post it notes was great, but the report was due in this afternoon, so it might be a plan to get that out of the way first!'

'She said 'That was my allergen free meal' when the meeting buffet only had meat, fish, dairy, vegan and her allergy friendly serving was in the fridge. How can she target me like that for taking the only thing she could eat when I'm the only one with dietary considerations?'

'SHE SUGGESTED I SOFTENED ONIONS BEFORE ADDING OTHER INGREDIENTS!'

'She's obviously picking on me because of my tattoos/gayness/queerness/I'm poor/I went to grammar school/feminine aesthetic/masculine aesthetic'


'SHE LOOKED AT ME OVER THE TOP OF HER GLASSES AND SIGHED!!!!!!! I'M BEING TARGETED!'

 

[TillyMiffin]

You know what my lovely Frau & Herron, I’m not a negative person, I’m very live & let live, I look at some of the threads on here about influencers etc and I honestly feel sorry for them because it seems they can’t do right for doing wrong. For some (many, many) reason, every single thing Jack does, says, EVERYTHING gets right on my tits. She really is the most irritating, disingenuous, self centred, self serving, f**king twat I’ve ever come across. And I’m 51. And met a lot of twats. I live in hope that she will either finally get ‘found out’ for her total horse shit or disappear from public view. If it was t for you lot I don’t know what if do. You make me feel seen.

 

[Flash123]

How is dried stuffing a ‘seasoning’???? It’s just salty clag?

 

[Veronicaaa]

Gawd...... I'm afraid I doubt the existence of the death threat letters.

Could they just have been from Sun Life, offering over 50s life insurance for. " When you've gone"?

I wonder why she opened these specific letters when, as we know, she can't open letters because of the destitution.