Jack Monroe #149 How dare you defile our oats?

[Terrible]

I had my covid injection today as well - just waiting for the side effects now! My shielding husband had his last weekend, but I’m not really sure why I was called up so soon! Not complaining, just feeling a bit guilty! Everyone was so lovely, it was like going to Disneyland! One person liked my name (not Terrible!) and three people liked my tshirt

Anyway, SO many fibs - especially alongside her blog entry. All those cheap flats? Executive apartment!

 

[Cunderthunt]

could this be the most humble brag heavy article she's ever written?

Let's make an inventory of every display of narcissistic grandiosity in that article:

1. "I first spoke in Parliament of my own experiences of poverty in modern Britain eight years ago, first to Iain Duncan Smith, and then to Frank Field and Baroness Jenkin."
2. "Far more comforting for some to believe that I, in my 2012 iteration as a single mother on benefits, tattooed, gay, and unemployed, was feckless, workshy, grabby and irresponsible, rather than unlucky." (included because of the list of her oppression points, and because she thinks she's THAT important that people care about her in that way)
3. "Nine years on, I have pulled myself up by my metaphorical bootstraps."
4. "A self-employed business woman, photographer, author, recipe developer and consultant, writer, columnist and presenter, I juggle as many hats as I need to keep the bailiffs from the door. "
5. "But I’m quite literally one in a million."
6. "Of the approximately 4.1 million children currently living in poverty in the UK, not many of them will end up sitting in the green rooms of television studios giggling with Sir Mo Farah"
7. "while their parent tackles the rise in food bank use on a bright red breakfast sofa."
8. "It’s a life of two halves, presenting awards at the Groucho Club on a Saturday night,"
9. "and volunteering at the local food bank that I quite literally owe my life to on a Sunday morning"
10. "One foot in the revolving door of Portcullis House"
11. "in endless beseeching meetings with various earnest Members of the Opposition,"
12. "I’d challenge anyone to walk everywhere, in your only pair of flappy broken boots (...)" (rendition of The Poverty follows. The boast is that she's just so hard done by, she'd challenge ANYONE to survive what she did. She is the toughest and poorest girl of all)
13. "just because Mummy and Daddy are still married"
14. "or you went to a grammar school" (this and #13 are subtle, sneering boasts of her middle-class background)
15. "Hundreds of teachers have written to tell me of the snacks they keep in their desk drawer"
16. "In 2011, I was preparing to transfer from the Fire Control Room to the fireground."
17. "I could bench press my own body weight."
18. "I ran half marathons."
19. "Went to the gym at 6am before work, and after dinner for good measure."
20. "Did the bleep test on my lunch break for fun."
21. "Kept a dumbbell under my desk to casually work out with in quiet periods,"
22. "and did the ironing sitting on a massive yoga ball."
23. "I’d be fine, I’ve always worked, I’ll find a new job easy." (this is a quote from someone else but is included because she clearly believed it)
24. "(no longer) proud to have served in Essex County Fire And Rescue Service."

 

[Vanelope]

These are all lies aren’t they - she has told so many stories she doesn’t know what the truth is

 

[Begborrowsteal]

My kids are animals, theyve got through 5 weetabix before

 

[HotesTilaire]

6 jumped out at me, her child associates with SIR Mo Farrah dontchaknow

ETA I love the Walter Mitty claim she was “preparing to transfer to the fire ground” you can prepare all you like, you would still have needed them to give you a job before you could actually work there, was it a done deal? Doubt it. Wasn’t SB born in 2011? Can’t imagine the fire service liking the implications they required a pregnant woman to start firefighter fitness training (I am not saying pregnancy is a barrier to intense work outs, each case is different. I’m saying an employer wouldn’t jeopardise Health & Safety)

 

[Imainlylurk]

The UNICEF policy isn't really a smoking gun. They do not have control over what a local community run foodbank might choose to give away and I've certainly come across independent food banks which stock formula through my work.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

The Mo Farah thing will presumably be from this:

 

[kachoochoo]

@kachoochoo dont want to get up in your niche but slow cooker bubble bath needs green ticking off your list because, sadly for well, everyone, she’s actually flipping done it.

ok. will do

she did say she'd do a blog post tho

 

[Cunderthunt]

I'm sure somewhere she said she was referred to a foodbank after her tit Christmas article in December 2012. That would make her son 2 3/4 years old and too old for formula. So if she did get formula out of a foodbank, she shouldn't have done. She was misleading them, and taking from a finite supply of baby milk for herself. Either that or she's lying and it never happened. Which is likely, given that foodbanks aren't supposed to hand out formula.

 

[Lisbon]

Fraus and Herren who have had the jab already, did any of you ask which vaccine you were given? I'm not bothered which one I get but I am just genuinely nosey.. My thanks to vaccination volunteers as well, my appt is on Tuesday and I probably will get emotional after reading here today

I know this is such a minor point in the clusterfuck of Jack’s lies but...isn’t one Weetabix totally adequate for a toddler? As an adult two can be more than enough, I don’t think SB was some hench toddler eating her out of house and home

I'm a couple of wines in but the phrase 'hench toddler' has done me in , it would make a brilliant band name.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Food banks are not supposed to give baby milk out, officially.
In reality, many do “under the counter”
If they gave it to her they put themselves at risk to help her
Her food bank being in Sarfend and her mum’s friend volunteering

Bet they are glad they risked their reputation for her to bleat on about it for ten years

Edit

 

[queenfeline]

I don't know why I see this title and have to back track because I read "How dare you defile our cats?" EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

 

[Silver Linings]

She’s cooking up a storm on instagram.

Splitting the post because there are loads...

 

[Terrible]

Fraus and Herren who have had the jab already, did any of you ask which vaccine you were given?

Astra Zeneca here - they gave me a little card with it on.

 

[Cunderthunt]

"I was in hospital with a suspected heart attack. Chronic sinusitis and a recurrence of my childhood asthma followed – not helped by the draughty, damp, flats that my paltry housing benefit stretched to. My arthritis made itself known at the tender age of 25. I’m on anti-anxiety medication, beta blockers, antidepressants, steroids for the arthritis, and sleeping pills.

I don’t run any more. I’d fail the fire service assessments these days, a liability with my walking stick and inability to pick myself off the floor if I crouch down in the supermarket to get the cheap tomatoes from the bottom shelf."

A few things notable here. Have chronic sinusitis, suspected heart attack, and asthma been added to her ailments list?

I grunka'ed thread #31 a day or two ago, and saw she made a claim of her son having to help her up off of the supermarket floor, due to her (claimed) arthritis. Here she just HAD to add in that she was making a beeline for the cheap tomatoes. She just cannot resist the poverty pleading, even after 9 years of fame and fortune - and mere paragraphs after boasting of her success.

Her claims of needing a walking stick are at odds with her jumping around the studio in DKL, and with her lies about kicking the shins of random men.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[MooBelle]

Fraus and Herren who have had the jab already, did any of you ask which vaccine you were given? I'm not bothered which one I get but I am just genuinely nosey.. My thanks to vaccination volunteers as well, my appt is on Tuesday and I probably will get emotional after reading here today


I'm a couple of wines in but the phrase 'hench toddler' has done me in , it would make a brilliant band name.

They tell you when you get there which jab it is.
I got the Pfizer one, although am not entirely sure if difference between them x

 

[Orphan_Black]

Mad Lass on the prowl! (What an utter twonk)

 

[Terrible]

That looks like rotten cushion stuffing.

 

[Imainlylurk]

So she attempts to give her book a plug then says sod that lets do something totally different? Not exactly selling GFFBD is it?

Is there much nutritional value or point in her sneaky greens approach? Lettuce and gone off salad being turned into dust