I now understand how she managed to not notice a giant shard of glass lying around the place...
Jack Monroe #138 Jack Monroe MBE
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"my local store", y'all. It's a shop, you ninny
Elephants are bad luck unless they face away from the door
I’m a menace. Somebody taught me and now I can’t stop.You’re on fire with these today! Thank duck she didn’t try to out-chaos American politics tonight
“I’ll be the chair! I once wheeled a chair 25 miles home you know.”
“Did I tell you I’ve moved 220 times before? I lived on most of these streets!”
Lands on electricity board, so tells you the story of when she had her electricity cut off. Lands on kings cross, she busked with Billy Bragg there once. Free Parking? No need, can’t drive any more. Lands on orange, this is near the Groucho where I told Jude Law to duck off.
I was here for DKL, here for Thread 31 (got a Solero out of the freezer after all the ice lolly/ice cream chat between her comments) and I'm so indoctrinated I even asked for some Penhaligon perfume for Christmas.omg! after all this time! we'll have all seen you up there in the notifications. I've often thought "when will Lemon Chicken join in?"
I am glad you're here. and for monopoly!
I'll probably fade back to silence and likes after today, but Monopoly would be my Mastermind specialist subject and she's all up in my niche!
out of unicorns, yet that top left one looks like a unicorn...? or maybe a rhino? or a buffalo? it ain't a pony tho
eta it's a hippo with a random horn innit? and there appears to be electrical tape on the floor
I think buying a biscuit barrel with a noticeable chip (that you can’t repair) shows she has a shopping problem. It’s not something she needs, it’s damages. The fact it’s just a pound or whatever, just shows a wasteful attitude to money.
It’s something I would have done when I was very young. Now as an adult I really think about every purchase. Guess who has no mortgage and a perfect credit score?
It’s something I would have done when I was very young. Now as an adult I really think about every purchase. Guess who has no mortgage and a perfect credit score?
I actually think my mastermind specialist subject could be Jackie!
All of Mr D's family say they're bad luck, full stop. Won't have them in the houses, throw away anything that has an image of one, won't even allow the word to be said in front of them.
Some insane story about a mystery illness that started when somebody was given a pair of wooden ones and miraculously resolved when the elephants were removed. The mystery illness was autoimmune (Mr D inherited it). But no, it was the bleeping elephants, not remission of a known disease.
I need a squiggle to ask her about that monstrosity of a floor.
I mean...it's a major tripping hazard, it would be impossible to keep clean, Cooper could take a dump in there and she wouldn't notice over the smell of the slow cooker.
No wonder SHE LEFT. If I went back to someone's house and it looked like that, I'd be making some hasty excuses.
When @MancBee comes back he'll have a fit
I mean...it's a major tripping hazard, it would be impossible to keep clean, Cooper could take a dump in there and she wouldn't notice over the smell of the slow cooker.
No wonder SHE LEFT. If I went back to someone's house and it looked like that, I'd be making some hasty excuses.
When @MancBee comes back he'll have a fit
Sorry if this offends anyone - but I ducking hate novelty crockery especially novelty mugs...they scream DICK HEAD 23 year old lad!
I wonder if it's an old fashioned mom and pop store.
That floooor 
it's giving me anxiety, what the duck is that? It looks like the absolute disaster we used to turn the Textiles classroom into over the course of a lesson by pulling odd bits of fabric out of the cupboards and dressing up in them. How are you supposed to vacuum it? What about opening and closing doors, surely it must snag? Why do I care so much?
it's giving me anxiety, what the duck is that? It looks like the absolute disaster we used to turn the Textiles classroom into over the course of a lesson by pulling odd bits of fabric out of the cupboards and dressing up in them. How are you supposed to vacuum it? What about opening and closing doors, surely it must snag? Why do I care so much?
She just has so much stuff.
I usually loathe the bullshit trope of “well if you Millennials just went out for avocado toast less you’d have a deposit for a house now” but in Jackie’s case it’s... absolutely true?!
If she bought less (bleeping ridiculous) crockery (and sideboards, and fridges/freezers, and designer gear, and ugly trainers, and tech, and filler) she’d have a seriously nice place.
I honestly don’t know how her donors don’t see her listing all of this crap and not question why she’s pretending she can’t afford £1.49 for a block of butter.
I usually loathe the bullshit trope of “well if you Millennials just went out for avocado toast less you’d have a deposit for a house now” but in Jackie’s case it’s... absolutely true?!
If she bought less (bleeping ridiculous) crockery (and sideboards, and fridges/freezers, and designer gear, and ugly trainers, and tech, and filler) she’d have a seriously nice place.
I honestly don’t know how her donors don’t see her listing all of this crap and not question why she’s pretending she can’t afford £1.49 for a block of butter.
Of course she needs the rug because it’s so perishingly cold underfoot and that plays havoc with her crippling arthritis leaving her a hobbling howling mess. Unfortunately she rents (you may not be aware) and there is no other solution to this problem (trust me, she’s tried them all). Socks you say? No, they have other uses.I need a squiggle to ask her about that monstrosity of a floor.
I mean...it's a major tripping hazard, it would be impossible to keep clean, Cooper could take a dump in there and she wouldn't notice over the smell of the slow cooker.
No wonder SHE LEFT. If I went back to someone's house and it looked like that, I'd be making some hasty excuses.
When @MancBee comes back he'll have a fit
It’s like, now that you (and Slopbot) destroyed the “flooflebot”, a new enemy of the cabal has arrived, in the form of the rug (?) of chaos.That floooor
That rug is what I imagine the inside of Jack's head looks like. A jumble of personalities and grifts and things she wants to buy. If chaos were a rug.
ETA @Sideboard Bob snap!
ETA @Sideboard Bob snap!
It’s a rag rug. Cheap to make, but expensive to buy. They can’t be vacuumed. Need to be put on the washing line and bashed to get the dust out. We used to make them at home when I was a girl.
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