Jack Monroe #134 Suffer the little squiggles, for I am The Poor

[Whaa?]

She's added the hashtag EndChildPoverty to her video, and removed her slogan FeedThe Children from the body of it. She was clearly not on board with the strategy planned and instead was launching her own hashtag which she hoped would then go viral and she could then claim to be the founder of.

Just say that you lend your support to the current campaign. Ask them (behind the scenes) if there is anything you can do. The tweet that you have been in contact with all the key campaigners, and the bollocks about your haters wanting to divide and conquer does not help the cause you are trying to promote.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Got to admit, feeling a bit like a hypocritical wanker, for being amazed and disturbed at how much time Jack spends on Twitter, when I’ve been pretty much glued to Tattle for the last 3 days...I mean working on tattle for 20 hours a day. I am praying (Darren verse 12:4) she fucks off today so I can get some tit done.

Oh God, same, I feel like I've given up my entire week to watching this shitshow unfold.

 

[SoulRebel]

Tom Kerridge currently talking sense on bbc breakfast about free school meals

And he made the point that Marcus Rashford is 'the master' behind it all. Something Jack would never be able to acknowledge

 

[Silver Linings]

She’s up and has deleted one of the VF tweets.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

After asking if people have seen any of this money - she’s studiously ignoring the squiggles who are saying that they HAVE had some support from their local councils. Some are making the point that it wasn’t specifically called ‘Corona virus winter grant’. They are pointing out that the info is there if people search for it and linking to council websites.

ETA just seen above - it seems one hero squig is doing the work and posting links to loads of councils

Yep hero squig seems lovely to spend the time doing that, not seen his profile though so touch wood not a neo nazi ey!

This is the worst Jack, panic invoking “we’re doomed” Jack. I hate the Tories as much as the next person but absolutely no good comes from scaring the people at the mercy of their policies? How is this activism?! Upsetting a mum that is holding out for that payment to buy new coats and shoes for her kids isn’t doing anyone any good, she’s a horrid ghoul.

Thankfully it’s not these mums following her, it’s great aunt Gertrude with 3 gardens RTing some factually inaccurate and poorly written JM tweets and feeling like she’s part of the #resistance

 

[Sentient mirror]

got this documentary about the pembrokeshire serial killer john cooper on in the background. every time the narration says cooper said this or cooper did that, I envisage cooper the cat!

nb FAO legal people - I am by no means saying that the goodest floofy boi cooper monroe is a serial killer. he couldn't even fight off the brambly mice

Oooh Pembrokeshire murders is so good isn't it? We can talk about it here because Jack's dad, Keith Allen, is in it.

 

[Jumpstart]

What a catch up. She’s manic isn’t she. Have any of her ex fiancées liked or retweeted any of her millions of tweets?

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

I have only just watched that wierd little Feed Children video or whatever it was.
Honestly. Her delivery is appalling. Eyes darting nervously and that monotone. Then it seems all of a sudden she reads on her autocue "{{{Note to self - Jack - THIS BIT IS WHERE YOU SHOULD SOUND ANGRY}}} and she for no obvious reason suddenly gets shouty.
I can't imagine this was her only attempt and this was the best?

It was quite obvious that she had an auto cue just above the camera and she was just reading it. Very few looks down the actual camera to make eye contact with the audience. She’s just not someone who is cut out for public speaking or being on tv. There’s no charisma/warmth. As tit as it is, sometimes you just need to realise that perhaps the “job” you so eagerly want is just not for you.

 

[Lanie]

The thankyou after the squig if her a mention is telling. I think. She must be seething as she cannot scream they are leaving us women out as dear old Dame ET is a very active activist. Think of all the stuff she did in London during climate change.
She's be better of bowing out gracefully and yes continue to work behind the scenes as the topic is important and carry on with her own work.

She keeps saying she doesn't want fame, if that was the case she'd happily stay out of the limelight and let the real famous people do the work and following credit.

 

[Emmapism]

It was quite obvious that she had an auto cue just above the camera and she was just reading it. Very few looks down the actual camera to make eye contact with the audience. She’s just not someone who is cut out for public speaking or being on tv. There’s no charisma/warmth. As tit as it is, sometimes you just need to realise that perhaps the “job” you so eagerly want is just not for you.

Just replace children with TV execs and out of touch with tit at this

 

[Dogmuck]

Oh God, same, I feel like I've given up my entire week to watching this shitshow unfold.

Me: I wish she’d duck off so I can get some tit done today

Also me: still sat in my pjs since 4.30 am, with 3rd coffee, pressing refresh on Tattle to ensure I catch every comment

 

[gracebevsescapingboobs]

It’s nice to see THAT MAN get involved because he’s been campaigning for better nutrition for kids throughout his entire career. It makes sense for him to be part of the movement.

I used to hate him because they made us analyse his dialect and language in English Lang at school and they kept replaying this video of him saying “a bit woo, a bit wah, a bit bent”. It got to the point where I would howl and wail and claw at the walls whenever I had to hear his voice.

But I’ve been very impressed with how helpful he’s been over the lockdown and in particular his “7 ways” book which is full of real gems, proper food.

Maybe Jack should take a leaf out of his book and do something actually useful like produce the recipe books we were promised, or even an e-book with optional donation (TO CHARITY) for food voucher meal plans. Don’t worry Jackie luv you can steal my idea, I’ll let you pretend you came up with it yourself.

 

[bladiesla]

You know you've spent too much time here when in the work Teams chat you catch yourself writing 'Im BUSY' and 'Thank space you' (I blame Jack)

 

[colouredlines]

I was hesitant about sharing this one, because I don't want it to become the new born in 1978. Jack clearly does not secretly have a degree. Instead, I present this purely as evidence of her being a compulsive liar (and one who clearly thinks she's better than pub work, despite famously being qualified to do duck all):

 

[Deborrah]

She thinks it looks like one of those things people have in off of the telly when the producers speak instructions to the presenters.

Maybe.

ETA I read this back and I realise it doesn’t sound sarcastic, just that I can’t write properly. This week has obviously got to us all.

Oh god you're right! It's her dress up tv correspondent/challenge anneka outfit. She's pretending it's an earpiece.

Next she will have a cut out cardboard box on her head pretending to be on telly

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Me: I wish she’d duck off so I can get some tit done today

Also me: still sat in my pjs since 4.30 am, with 3rd coffee, pressing refresh on Tattle to ensure I catch every comment

Dreading the screen time notification on Monday.

 

[emmer_moans]

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Hellmann's Finance Department on Line 1 .....

Ugh, she's so silly, we could say the same of her income she gets for being a tit cook and presenter.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

I almost (but not quite) feel sorry for her over being left off the letter, it was clearly intentional not an an oversight. If she hadn’t behaved like an embarrassing, manic, self serving twit for the past three days I think she would have been asked to get involved. She’s done this to herself with her own hubris.

This morning the BBC have had Tom Kerridge and a woman I’ve never seen before on to talk about this issue. The woman came across as sane and intelligent, exactly the sort of interviewee the beeb want. Jack’s swivel eyed loon rants haven’t done her any good have they?

 

[Debarkle]

Hello from the past. Like others I had to step away as I couldn’t bear to read her glee when her tweets were getting attention while she grabbed onto others’ coattails and tried to lay claim to a cause.

I bleeping HOOTED when Marcus posted his letter and included Jamie bleeping Oliver and not her. Maybe it’d help if she used his hashtags and didn’t try and use her own. Then we she missed her 8pm RT for the hashtag she ~founded~ ffs. Absolutely lol when she tried to make it look she was messaging Marcus about the paywall but actually it was Roadside Mum. The use of initials made me think she’d done a typo but no.

I’ve checked in occasionally to make sure I’m not losing my mind (I’m not) but it has taken all my willpower not to tweet my mutuals who are fawning over her and say I can tell they weren’t watching when she was cancer cosplaying, bursting a million Covid “bubbles”, kitten torture etc.

Slowly, gently catching up from Tuesday but to quote her she is absolutely shameless.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I was hesitant about sharing this one, because I don't want it to become the new born in 1978. Jack clearly does not secretly have a degree. Instead, I present this purely as evidence of her being a compulsive liar (and one who clearly thinks she's better than pub work, despite famously being qualified to do duck all):

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