Jack Monroe #129 Jack, could we have a quick chat?

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Ooh looko! A doggo!
All jokes aside he’s a bit gorgeous, I love him
He's a good old boy. Spends most days dinosaur napping, so I suppose he does have something in common with Jack after all

I'd not noticed the utensil bunting, but it looks crap. She really doesn't give a monkey's about security does she?
 
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On a grunk so might have missed something but I always felt her insistence that she ‘only’ got 4.5 GCSEs was ‘coincidentally’ right beneath that golden target of achieving 5 A-Cs that was drilled into me at at school. I’d have been the year below her and also at a girls grammar () so similar educational context.

So near yet so far again Jack!! Thwarted by the ‘establishment’!

fuck off.
 
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utensil bunting? what?

metal implements hanging above the back door ready to smack you on the head. it's like something from a cartoon!
 
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utensil bunting? what?

metal implements hanging above the back door ready to smack you on the head. it's like something from a cartoon!
It’s to deter those imaginary stalkers who leave doorstep gifts and who then might fancy a nosey at the Smeg.
 
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Gosh, I didn’t know that Allegra was married before Jack - to Susi Smithers from 2006 - 2012. I note that there’s a recipe for ‘F*** Me Dauphinoise’ in her first cookbook though! Jack is such a copycat with her ‘Come To Bed’ whatever it was! Parmigiana!

 
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I must strongly object! (although he's only half Ridgeback) The only things under threat from this boy are your knee caps, he loves to give them a sly lick as he walks past
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Oh I'm sorry, he is adorable! I have to assume the other half is doing a lot of heavy lifting here as Ridgebacks usually terrify the crap out of me.
 
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It occurred to me that the fact that we are discussing her bijoux (rented) kitchen plays into her ‘stalker hell’ narrative.

She might use these witty comments to justify her move and wail about her privacy. Of course, she did her famous DKL cat brandishing performance from this same space - privacy, yeah, sure.
 
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Interesting that she had the shot all ready for the first meal she could taste. And what the f would all of those things taste like together?!
 
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That just looks so ... unappetising. And for breakfast, too. A fine example of yucky food on posh plates still looking yucky.
 
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Please, please just have some bran flakes.

For once.

(are the orange bits in the egg uncooked yolks?)
 
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Salt and vinegar? At breakfast?

Traaazers? On a bird?
 
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Why on earth would you bother making all of that, if you didn't know if you would be able to taste it? Maybe start simple with a boiled egg or a tin of soup? Oh I know why, because she never lost her taste to begin with.
 
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Her taste has returned! A Long COVID miracle!

She must have a job coming up.
 
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