I'd have made that joke about Teresa May when she was Home Secretary - or David Blunkett.The joke implies that her relatives can't possibly be British, as you can't deport British people. I have no clue about Priti Patel's family situation, but I suspect, like her, they are British.
It's def BNP playbook to suggest that anyone who doesn't look like Hugh Grant or Lily Cole can't be British.
The year is 2028. Our heroine Jack takes a break from saving the poor and logs into Twitter to ask if anyone remembers Spangles...She knows she has a massive challenge to try and direct attention away from 'The Sloppies' later on. I don't rule out an A&E lady doctor being involved.
What odds can I get on this episode inevitably resulting in a 'Long Covid' self-diagnosis that will be wheeled out to excuse any future failures to deliver?
My kids are looking at me like I’m mad, I can hardly breathe for laughingThe year is 2028. Our heroine Jack takes a break from saving the poor and logs into Twitter to ask if anyone remembers Spangles...
Squiggle1: Sorry to bother you Jack but I've been messaging about my Thrifty Shades of Beige perks for a few years now. I know you're BUSY but I was just wondering when I can expect my postcards. P.S You're a superstar!
Jack: You probably haven't given me your address. That's usually the problem. Also I have had SEVERE LONG COVID so you know sorry if I don't just jump to attention the minute you click your fingers. I have been asked not to overwhelm the Post Office and would like to respect that even if you clearly don't.
Squiggle1: Thanks for responding Jack. You've been so brave and I'm sorry if my Tweet caused you any offence. I'll wait anther couple of years and see if anything turns up.
Jack: Sorry if I was a bit off but I've been getting bullied online for twenty seven years over the last six months and I'm a bit hypersensitive like I'm being slowly devoured from the inside out by a fanged parasite that doesn't have shins so cannot be kicked. I am suffering but my tormentors don't care that they're slowly killing me.
Squiggle1: Oh Jack I'm so sorry. I can't believe the abuse you take just for trying to help people. Remember we love you you lil' superstar.
Squiggle2: STOP BULLYING JACK YOU RANCID TORY SHIT
Squiggle3: Fuck you scum. Jack is a fucking hero.
Squiggle 4: APOLOGISE TO JACK YOU ponce
Squiggle1: I've said sorry. I would never upset Jack on purpose.
Squiggle3: Delete your account you ugly Tory hell spawn.
There’s a thread title in waiting: “being slowly devoured from the inside out by a fanged parasite”The year is 2028. Our heroine Jack takes a break from saving the poor and logs into Twitter to ask if anyone remembers Spangles...
Squiggle1: Sorry to bother you Jack but I've been messaging about my Thrifty Shades of Beige perks for a few years now. I know you're BUSY but I was just wondering when I can expect my postcards. P.S You're a superstar!
Jack: You probably haven't given me your address. That's usually the problem. Also I have had SEVERE LONG COVID so you know sorry if I don't just jump to attention the minute you click your fingers. I have been asked not to overwhelm the Post Office and would like to respect that even if you clearly don't.
Squiggle1: Thanks for responding Jack. You've been so brave and I'm sorry if my Tweet caused you any offence. I'll wait anther couple of years and see if anything turns up.
Jack: Sorry if I was a bit off but I've been getting bullied online for twenty seven years over the last six months and I'm a bit hypersensitive like I'm being slowly devoured from the inside out by a fanged parasite that doesn't have shins so cannot be kicked. I am suffering but my tormentors don't care that they're slowly killing me.
Squiggle1: Oh Jack I'm so sorry. I can't believe the abuse you take just for trying to help people. Remember we love you you lil' superstar.
Squiggle2: STOP BULLYING JACK YOU RANCID TORY SHIT
Squiggle3: Fuck you scum. Jack is a fucking hero.
Squiggle 4: APOLOGISE TO JACK YOU ponce
Squiggle1: I've said sorry. I would never upset Jack on purpose.
Squiggle3: Delete your account you ugly Tory hell spawn.
Lol I am part of the very same mailing list and just punched the air and cackled with glee xAll right, not wanting toanyone (or myself) but SOMEBODY just sent an amazing email to an academic mailing list I'm part of completely destroying Jack because another email suggested 'the artist formally known as potatoes' as essential reading for understanding food poverty. Really sorry I can't screenshot but it was brutal and brilliant and I am HERE for it. That person MUST be a Tattler.
They're very welcome to DM me (if they're comfortable) cos I am absolutely dying to know who it is
A very clear example is that the joke would have never been made about Theresa May. And the only difference between her and Priti is the colour of their skin. Both horrible people through and through.This was the aspect I found offensive but you phrased it better than I could have.
I have now read a bit about her and I agree. No matter how despicable her own actions and politics are she is being reminded by white Brits that her family, due to their ethnic background and looks to go with it, must qualify for deportation. I argue that if she, in your words, looked like eg. Lily Cole the suggestion to deport her own family might not have been made. On a very personal level I generally react very badly to deportation 'jokes', no matter who makes them.
I can't take credit for it I'm afraid. I used a different word and it magically changed to ponce.My kids are looking at me like I’m mad, I can hardly breathe for laughingBRILLIANT
ponce, haven’t heard that for years!
Hadn't read this before my last comment where I said that the joke wouldn't be made about Theresa MayI'd have made that joke about Teresa May when she was Home Secretary - or David Blunkett.
She’s certainly exaggerating her temperature, I would say. 40.5 is extremely high.Has anyone ever been really really unwell with a virus, but had the energy and wherewithal to chat shit on Twitter with people you don’t know, as well as whatsapp family? I wasn’t well a couple of months ago, not Covid but was really rough. I literally replied to my mum’s phonecalls with “not well will ring later” and then didn’t cos I was just melted. She’s lying on some level. Either it’s not Covid, or it is Covid but she’s exaggerating symptoms. She hasn’t got SEVERE Covid or she’d be asleep in bed minding her business.
I am such a petty asshole that I hope JM lurks in these threads and now knows about it.Gah I am desperate to see the academic email! Was it sent to many people? Has there been more feedback since it was sent??
I disagree, Harry. I think British people wield their famed sense of humour like a shield and we (yes) absolutely need calling out when we’re being unfunny, offensive arseholes.Hadn't read this before my last comment where I said that the joke wouldn't be made about Theresa May
Maybe as a German I need to keep my nose out of British jokes.
That's a hospital trip..She’s certainly exaggerating her temperature, I would say. 40.5 is extremely high.
She def does (hi jackI am such a petty asshole that I hope JM lurks in these threads and now knows about it.
Babe, same xGah I am desperate to see the academic email! Was it sent to many people? Has there been more feedback since it was sent??
Yes, someone else has piped up saying that Jack's piece was very powerfulGah I am desperate to see the academic email! Was it sent to many people? Has there been more feedback since it was sent??
dammit.Yes, someone else has piped up saying that Jack's piece was very powerful
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