Jack Monroe #119 She says lots of things, many of which are false

[Oofadoofa]

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The big question is: does she feel better or worse than that time she pretended to have symptoms but decided that it was more important to go shopping the next day, namely under the guise minky-fucking-whatever.

 

[PoorPatrol]

Has anyone ever been really really unwell with a virus, but had the energy and wherewithal to chat shit on Twitter with people you don’t know, as well as whatsapp family? I wasn’t well a couple of months ago, not Covid but was really rough. I literally replied to my mum’s phonecalls with “not well will ring later” and then didn’t cos I was just melted. She’s lying on some level. Either it’s not Covid, or it is Covid but she’s exaggerating symptoms. She hasn’t got SEVERE Covid or she’d be asleep in bed minding her business.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

If you're ill and can't eat you don't want to think about food. Much less tweet about it. Self indulgent softy soft soft stfu

 

[Walkdengirl]

I mean, I don’t call engineering several unnecessary bubbles, travelling to Edinburgh, Manchester, and London (at least twice), or having people in your home for a day-long photoshoot neurotic, tbh. I call it blasé. But Jack can do Jack.

The illest I’ve been was when I had flu at uni in 2008 and I couldn’t even look at my (non-smart, unlike today’s glaring screens) phone without feeling like my eyes would fall out. I lay sweating in the dark for a week and my housemates would periodically put glasses of water inside my door and take away the old one. Then I had to go back to my mum’s for another week to recover. Everyone I know who has had corona says it’s much worse then flu, so given that she’s ferociously tweeting we can only assume that Jack is well enough to look at a bright phone screen and make coherent (and even passive-aggressive) statements.

If she was seriously ill there is no way she’d be sulking about how “careful” she’s been or sniping at SB/BB for exposing neurotic wee her. She’d be asleep, or lying inert and wishing she was.

I've had the 'rona, I certainly didn't spend time on my phone as I felt awful. I had to get up as my husband was seriously ill with it and I was nursing him, otherwise I would have spent the week in bed (I went into the spare room) . We had no appetite which was good as I couldn't have stood up long enough to cook. Our lad did take to his bed only emerging to get glasses of water.

I'm surprised she was saying she was snotty, as its not a snotty illness generally.

 

[Harrybosch]

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Ok. Someone with a 40 degree fever is not capable of patrolling twitter. JIMMY, GET OVER HERE!

 

[Veronicaaa]

you can’t just list every single thing you ate as a child and name them all “childhood comfort foods” get a grip. It’s as if she’s on death row and they’ve asked her what her last meal is going to be.

She's already answered the last meal question. She said she'd eat herself because she'd be so delicious. I kid you not.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Oh it’s zero waste now is it?
Because I’m FEWMIN at the latest arrangement of slop, I’ve just popped over to Iceland.
I filled my trolley with -
Starter- Brie and cranberry pastry crown £2
Main- bacon wrapped turkey breast serves 4 1.15kg £7
20 Yorkshire’s £1
900g Mixed veg £1
907g Roasted potatoes in veg oil £1
400g Sprouts with chestnuts £1
280g Red cabbage £1
Any bisto that’s veggie £1
24 “trimmings” pigs in blanket and pork stuffing balls £3
Dessert- luxury Xmas pud serves 4 £2 (half price offer)
1kg Birds custard £1
£23.50
I’d probably not bother with frozen mixed veg, I’d spend the £1 on fresh carrots and swede.
This isn’t a zero waste dinner. There’s plenty of leftovers for Boxing Day. And it’s frozen so it will keep.
I think there’s too much spent on the meat to be honest. But yeah, similar cost as Mackie, but using much less electricity and with leftover food for another day....

 

[SarcasticEllis]

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JACK, IF YOU’RE ILL, PUT THE FUCKING PHONE DOWN AND HAVE A REST

 

[Dogmuck]

It’s pretty clear she doesn’t like this thread title. @Pocahontas stand by soldier.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

The reason why her cake has burnt is because it has too much sugar in from the mincemeat and ginger ale.

As frauen and herren know, baking is a science and ingredients cannot be messed around with like her other “recipes”. There is a reason why cooks and chefs test, retest and test again recipes for cakes. It is because you need to be so precise with the flour/sugar/egg/ flavour combinations. She has just done her “one and done” thing with egg, flour, ginger ale and mincemeat without thinking (because she doesn’t know) that 2 of those ingredients are sugar-laden.

I know you know this.

I know she doesn’t care about this.

We shouldn’t care about this.

Does she mention it’s vegan ?

 

[Narc ahoy]

This just confirms (again) what we’ve known all along, she’s a lurker who probably has Tattle open on one phone and Twitter on the other.

I’m quite interested in the psychology of this though. If I was a jackanory and I read how many people had caught me out in so many lies, my stomach would drop and I’d feel “caught”. I would love to know if she would react the same but don’t see how she can. Does this fuel her behaviour - is it part of the game or does she feel like we’re just out to get her because she sees nothing wrong in what she’s doing? I find it quite fascinating but also very worrying.

I used to be quite a bit like Jack. In my experience:

Yes, she does feel caught and it is very humiliating for her, but she has ways of coping with this. Firstly her lies are impulsive and she usually doesn't think ahead too much about how not to get caught, so she's not worried ahead of time, at the moment of telling the lie. Secondly she draws comfort from the fact that she does still have many supporters, as well as a media career, and that her lying is not widely known. She will not be too worried yet, as she still feels in control of the narrative.

She will view each bit of evidence against her as separate, unimportant entities, and very minor and inconsequental things. Consequently, she doesn't feel overly worried or like a dishonest person, because she doesn't feel the full force of the whole picture of her lies.

Jack exaggerates as a matter of course, both for attention, and for the innocent reason that exaggerating and over-the-top language is her natural sense of humour. But this sense of humour and constant exaggerated desensitises both her, and her followers, to when she lies. This isn't really a conscious choice.

As you all know, she also twists the narrative so that any questioning of her is turn arouns into her being a victim of bullying. This is so that she herself doesn't have to confront her own lies, and also to control the narrative. This is helped along by the current climate of handwringing about social media "hate", "cyberbullying", "Trolling" yada yada.

She partly believes this and truly does see herself as a victim. For example, seeing the evidence against her as separate and unimportant, means that she feels that people are ridiculous, silly obsessive bullies to make a fuss out of any of it. She also enjoys victimhood as it makes her feel worthy. And she sees herself as a nice person and a hero.

As for if she knows she's lying, yes she does. The difference is her lies are very immersive. She is pretending to herself, and part of the acting and role playing is for herself more than anyone else. She is acting out her own movie in her head. Tie this into the deep emotional needs that are driving her lies - an unstable identity causing her to desparately create them for herself. Add in anxiety, a most importantly of all, the need to be praised like a small child - and you have many layers covering up the natural discomfort that normal people feel when lying.



She comes on here obsessively, like a schoolgirl obsessed with finding out what her enemy is saying about her. BUT on top of that she loves the attention and it makes her feel noticed and special. I think she does things on social media (the way she words things) specifically to get a reaction on here.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Gah I am desperate to see the academic email! Was it sent to many people? Has there been more feedback since it was sent??

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Sideboard Bob]

She’s still arguing with the world‘s least imaginative conspiracy theorists. It really doesn’t take a (lady) doctor to see that she’s fine

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

For this wonderful, auspicious occasion, I’ve decided to opt for a little number made from used lard wrappers, sewn together with veg peelings. I’ve commissioned a very famous designer Julienne Slopbucket (RIP) to make it for me.

I’m going to fashion some goodie bags for us all, to make it a truly oscars like experience. They’re sponsored by Mel Donte, so you’ll each receive a tin of bashed fruit with the label missing (to make it a surprise), a piece of cracked Sophie Conran tableware, some bongos (some bongos they play them in the cong...no let’s not go there), and a cotswolds sideboard each - with old lady unruly labia pants in one of the drawers (not telling you which - you have to guess!) it’ll be a tight squeeze to fit it all into the commemorative ASDA £20 shopping trip rucksack...but if it’s for the Frauen...it’s worth it.

 

[Smeghead]

No one wants anyone to be ill, it’s just hard to guage what’s true and what’s not. Saying that, I second Silver’s best wishes. Hopefully be on the mend in a few days.

 

[MooBelle]

Morning Cabal.
I checked in this morning to see you had done 20 pages in the night and expected a chaos had happened!
Oh what larks! She really has reached peak Narc hasn't she? So desperate for the high of the attention she claims to have Covid.
A temperature that high in an adult you would be fitting. You certainly wouldn't be able to tweet. Or speak. Or move.

Also, she hasn't had a test. She would've posted it if she had. Or she's had a negative result and has a winter bug.

 

[Boyo]

Our combined thoughts must be strong tonight cos we’re making her insert our questions into the body of her tweets.
Btw, ‘mooshy’? GROW UP!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Did the turkey die of old age? It's wrinklier than Lizzie Birdsworth. Terry the Sparrow looks in better nick than that and he's been dead for weeks.

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This looks like Ginger the mummy who lives at the British museum (obvs probably stolen)

ETA

Spoiler: Spoiler cos mummys give me anxiety x

 

[HotesTilaire]

Right that’s it. Listing 80s baby food, she’s not fucking spiking 40c +
I’m starting a campaign to get the title of this thread changed to diagnosis: twat
@TurnedUpInTipp the cold gravy does have a golden hue- do you think that’s why her bird and spuds were jaundiced?
Also, in our family we have a tradition if you cook something awful and inedible- you have to bury it.