Jack Monroe #119 She says lots of things, many of which are false

[blurstoftimes]

all that food and not even one mention of her grandad's cheap wet ham

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

This thread is one way to escape from the world.

Most of the country is locked down.

The DoE has right royally done one today affecting secondary school students, teachers and effectively scuppering any chance of school leaders having a much-needed break.

Yet Jackanory is birdsonging away into the void about absolute shite just so her synaptic receptors can ping a bit more frequently.

Wowsers.

 

[MancBee]

View attachment 350634
“..when I grow up..” You said it, kid. You cretinous, smol-pixie-like, slop-slinging charlatan.

Jack's mum hasn't been a nurse in over 20 years, things have moved on. I doubt she is aware of how to treat a Virus only just discovered. We have the same problem with my MIL. Her best friend keeps telling her what to do regarding medical matters. She retired from being a nurse 20 years ago too. The doctor, without fail, tells MIL "that is no longer how we treat X or Y".

 

[Ladderedtights]

Jack, I can only imagine this is the level of engagement you want from your website - community, trying recipes, the best face swaps, anecdotes, exchanging recipes, hilarious awards, a BOT, folk getting others through hard times with humour and empathy. I don’t think you’ll ever achieve this and there is no one to blame but yourself.

 

[Alansbigplate]

 

[Dogmuck]

Jack get outta here and shut uppppppp.
You’re a mockery, love. A mockery.

You do mean Mockney right?

 

[Sideboard Bob]

@Nippybippy Snap! I came to share the same tweet when I noticed she’s been tweeting for seven hours after her “bye for now”

 

[Harrybosch]

[QUOTE="ScamSandwich, post: 3214527, member: ]
I could not type with this kind of temperature and I don't have any ailments and conditions.
Again, difficult to get sympathy if you are generally a bit economical with the truth.
[/QUOTE]

Babe, same. I had Covid a couple of months ago just like several million of others in the UK. A couple of days were properly rough. Curtains remained drawn, bed all day, didn't text, call or interact with anyone. No screen of any kind. I mainly slept. Would still not have described myself as 'severely ill'.

 

[Peachy9]

Gravy made from bacon and sausage juice
Slippery, slimey, lardy, salty gravy.. No one deserves this

 

[Smeghead]

Has anyone checked on Slopbot recently? I'm worried that he's reprogrammed himself into NostalgiaBot and gained control of Jack's Twitter.

Malfunction! Malfunction! It’s what happens when Slopbot hits 104 degrees.

 

[waffle maker]

You posting what is honestly a hastily put together menu that does not constitute any items that could be considered either healthy or delicious ( in my opinion).

so true. Every single part of the meal is ruined.

ETA this guardian article from Monday mentions her Christmas cake https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.th...-on-a-christmas-feast-and-also-cut-food-waste which makes me ask - why does she never use any of her old recipes for things like this?

Her cake is missing so many things that would make it nice.
See also yucky fingers, and her boasting that she burned it and covered the burns in sugar. This is her job!

 

[Ladderedtights]

Just rest if you are ill! And no, it won’t be worth it

 

[Smeghead]

View attachment 350624
“Practically ~neurotic~ about staying safe?! Practically neurotic! Are you shitting me?

Apart from all the documented trips, extended bubbles, and photographers trooping through the shitty bungalow, she’s been fecking licking her phone to take photos. So, so very neurotic about germs and health

 

[Puddy Muddle]

She seems almost giddy, right?

I vaguely follow some other people with munchhausen by internet. They get high and so excited when they get props (wheelchairs etc) or attention for a diagnosis.

Now many people are happy when they’ve been struggling to get a diagnosis, but this is a totally different thing. Like, not relief but giddiness.

I agree. She's definitely on the dopamine carousel. And while this isn't unusual for her, you'd expect that chemical response to be completely overwhelmed by everything else going on physiologically if she was really as sick as she claims.

 

[Boyo]

“..when I grow up..” You said it, kid. You cretinous, smol-pixie-like, slop-slinging charlatan.

 

[colouredlines]

According to what I've read, about 80% of covid cases have mild symptoms, or none at all.

There is a 0% chance that Jack will be in that 80%.

 

[ThriftStoreLeCreuset]

Nice lettuce - Lamb's lettuce, Cos, Little Gems (whatever you personally like that's fresh and tasty), pulled into small pieces by hand.

Some finely chopped Spring Onions (Optional).

Vegan Mayo.
Vegan Tomato Ketchup.
Vegan Worcestershire Sauce.
A tiny dash of mustard (tip of a teaspoon handle size) - Dijon is slightly sweet, German mustard also works well.
Fresh Lemon Juice, maybe a little lime (Fancy!).
A tiny splash of a nice, sweetish vinegar - Rice, Apple Cider, Raspberry, the vinegar from a jar of beetroot. Red/PInk ones add to the colour as well as tasting softer.
Sea salt flakes and white or pink pepper.

The largest, ripest, most tomatoey-smelling tomatoes on the vine - a Turkish deli is a great place to get them.

A herb - very, very finely chopped dill works for me, but somebody else might prefer Parsley, Chives, Lemon Thyme or Coriander. Really pungent, woody herbs won't work at all.


What you do is make the sauce to taste by mixing the ingredients (from Mayo to pink pepper) in a bowl and let it sit whilst you make your 'prawns'.

Put 3-5 layers of kitchen roll over the countertop and put your cutting board so that it holds them down. This will catch most of the 'mess' you're about to make.

Stab the tomatoes across the base in an X shape and then drop them into near boiling water for just long enough that you see the skin start to separate. Take them out of the hot water with a slotted spoon/food spider/pasta grabber/tablespoon/who cares as long as it's not your hands.

Cool them down quickly in cold water, where you will probably see the skins separate even more in a short time.

Take tomatoes out of the cold water and remove the skins with a knife (small and preferably sharp, not a rusty bread knife). Halve, quarter and then cut out the hard part, scrape the pips and juice out. Then slice the quarters into approx. 5-7mm thick slices - prawn width - and whatever you feel is a suitable prawn length (20-30mm, the length of your first thumb joint, whatever, I really don't care). Put them on a plate, dab them slightly dry with a paper towel and sprinkle on a little salt and pepper.

Get your serving bowls out.

When you are ready, drain off any extra liquid from the tomato plate, then splash with a little extra lemon/lime/vinegar. Add to the sauce, toss it until they're nicely coated, add Spring onion if you're using it, add to the serving dishes on top of the lettuce/leaves, sprinkle with your herbs and a pinch of Paprika if you like it (I don't) or Chilli powder/flakes if you like them more.

You do NOT, repeat, DO NOT, add Plenty of Black Pepper.







Now, the important thing is -


Your place or mine?

I appreciate that you took the time to write this up, but you lost me when you didn't acknowledge that any herb will work. Clearly you're not a true maverick cook and I don't know that I can trust this recipe. I'll tweet Jack to ask for a vegan cocktail.

(I won't. I don't have Twitter. And I really do appreciate that you took the time to write this out. It's a good reminder that often the sauce or seasonings is what we miss, not the meat. Perhaps I'll make it for my sad vegan alone at Christmas overseas dinner. )

 

[Tabitha D]

Many pages behind, but surely this is rice pudding? After Southend constabulary have cracked our case of the century they’re gonna have to look for the missing person in this dish - where the fuck are the prawns?!

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Looool someone beat me to it! X

That “prawn cocktail” abomination - I can’t get over it. If you were shown that pic, and you weren’t told what it was, there is no way you’d come up with prawn cocktail. It just looks like a maggot infestation with the Queen Maggot on the side. That “grapefruit” is such a weird colour that I would not be surprised if it’s the same piece she used last week, and it has just been mouldering away on one of her sideboards ever since.
How can someone who supposedly does this stuff for a living be so clueless about food presentation?

 

[HarderFaster]

Oh mannnnnn, that Priti Patel joke (“joke”) is so off-colour. I’m sure Jack will blame her gleeful response on fever delirium but just... ick.

The government is weaponising Priti Patel’s status as a second generation immigrant to justify making life actively terrifying for non-white Britons. Is this disgusting? Fuck yes. Is this ok for a white man called Hugh () to joke about? I dunno, sits weird with me.

I think this hovers very much in the field of Jack’s comments about Ivan Cameron - like, undoubtedly David Cameron did use his status as the parent of a disabled child as a shield while hollowing out public services which other, less privileged parents of disabled children were reliant on, but this wasn’t for Jack to comment on to further her own agenda (before we even get into her own cynical exploitation of SB).

Can you actually imagine if, say, David Walliams had tweeted that joke? Her little munchie thermometer would explode.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

sorry am only an occasional visitor to this thread now - is she back with louisa??

Louisa Compton moved back in for four days a week for the duration of the second lockdown. However, she stayed beyond that time and then brought Covid into the shitty bungalow.