Jack Monroe #118 Diagnosis: gifted

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I got an email this morning from my allotment society, asking if anyone could identify what species had deposited a "large mystery turd containing seed husks and berries' I swear it is the double of that loaf monstrosity. I would post the pic...but it's nearly tea time.
 
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It’s also so funny how she had zero symptoms 48 hours ago and now she’s dining out on Louisa having Covid for weeks.

I would bet everything I own Jack does not have Covid and hasn’t had a test. She wouldn’t have been able to hold it in at all, she’d be tweeting jumping on Kate Garraway’s coattails about how it’s even worse than her husbands who’s been on a life support for months
 
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I think I get you, like someone said about the conversation about mental health and self care actually minimises people suffering really intense mental health issues; a candle lit bath ain’t gonna save you!
 
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Definitely not Catholic. Catholicism is far more practically minded - 'You did something wrong, tell the Priest, say you're sorry (and mean it), do something to sort your shit out or actually prove you are sorry - great, everything's sorted, have a nice day', rather than the constant lies and mistruths and denials and 'that was THEN, not NOW'. Certainly no wittering on about random speakers becoming prophets, either.

I suspect that Catholics aren't exactly top of the Christmas Card list for anybody in that family anyhow.
 
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"This" needs to be preserved for the nation so that when future generations wonder what 2020 was like they can be shown "This" in all it's surreal horror. Top marks to Jack for captioning it with the single world Enjoy!. Without question her best work to date.

 
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I want to address how shit that entire meal looks but the thought of it is too overwhelming so instead I'm just going to focus on these depressing roast potatoes. They are not par boiled! I'll return to that photo of the horrifying prawn cocktail once I obtain some smelling salts to stop me from fainting

 
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Bloody hell you weren't wrong about the sound. This must be one of the most surreal things she's ever done.

ETA: "It's just referred to as "this" so we still don't know what it is." is a thread title

Also: I'm dead.
That Christmas meal is the saddest one I have ever seen. The chicken looks dry, the veg peel alternative looks dry, the veg look greasy, the gravy is a funny colour. The only thing that looks edible is the definitely shop bought frozen Yorkshires.

It took me ages to realize what was in the glass, it looked like cat sick. It was prawn cocktail. As for the pudding, revolting.

How can she make such basic food as a roast chicken and veg look so unappetising? It must be because she is gifted.
 
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Wow we are really being spoiled with soggy slop and dry slop today, makes me want to howff. Also Jack really needs to check the calender, Halloween was in October.
 
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The mystifying thing is that she thanked someone for allowing her to use her exclusive recipes... 'recipes'?? It's just cooked meat and veg, some yorkshire puddings that she couldn't possibly claim as her own no matter how much she may want to, and some god awful gravy. Mind boggling..

Edit: Forgot - some really ugly looking invention, going under the description of 'stuffing'..
 
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I don't know if it's because I've had a long day but I'm crying from laughter at the frauen's commentary on this Christmas dinner from hell.
 
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Oh blursty, have my first ever genuine 'You ok, hun?'
 
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Why is the chicken yellow? Has she been smothering it in curry powder to actually give it some taste?!
 
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