Jack Monroe #116 Burger and lies

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Yes, you just can't afford to take risks when you're skint because once you've cooked it you need to eat it. It's different if you've got a decent store cupboard but by the time you're hitting foodbanks you probably don't.

If Jack was actually poor they wouldn't touch her with a bargepole. She appeals to their view that what "these people" need is to be shown how to eat pulses, vegetables and fruit and everything will be ok. The media left couldn't give a shit about the poor but aren't honest enough to come out and say so. The minute Cameron got elected they started screeching about the benefits system which was the same benefits system they couldn't give a shit about when Labour were running it, in fact I seem to recall that clown Toynbee cooing in the Guardian about how wonderful it was lone parents were being hounded off benefits. Of course the Tories wasted no time in making a bad situation worse but just wait until we get a Labour government and they choose not to undo a single bit of the damage the Tories have done. You won't hear a peep out of them. Or I suspect Jack.
 
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What I find alarming about that clip is her eyes when she loses it. It’s proper uncontrollable narc rage and I’ve seen it up close in the flesh from narc relatives.

It’s AI gone mad. It’s growing a Jack Monroe mind of its own. Soon it will be building its own face and body out of discarded sausage meat.
It’s comedy gold like this that keeps me here.

 
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Well I'm happy for the Scam from Del Monte. At least she can stop taking from those who can ill afford it now.
 
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So the first thing she did with pineapple was...burn it and stick it out the window. Ever the professional
 
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She has been tagged in some gift guide from the feed up.

They have also tagged Ottolenghi’s Simple, Nigel Slater’s () Eat and The Roasting Tin books.

I don’t really have anything to say.

ETA I do actually .
 
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Early thread suggestion
#116 Agadoo doo doo, push pineapple, shake the tip jar
 
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Can’t wait for the Anchioade devilled fruit cocktail and the mandarin sosagne. Will she be rinsing the tinned pears before she slow cooks them in a cold frying pan full of vegan lard?
 
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Pineapple curry
Pineapple burgers
Pineapple cake
Fruit salad.
£20k please
 
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OoOoh yes. I see awkward insta vids in our future. Is the shed studio set up? Where will BB hide when the camera swings over to a sideboard?

“My grandad is dead!” Oh my days. What a thing to shout. And the AWFUL letter, it was like something out of a Jacqueline Wilson book.
I got sucked into a YouTube vortex and watched a series of Guardian vids where she tries to make ready meals cheaper. For a vegetable curry she puts chopped onions into a cold pan...then the oil and garlic. Vile, I tell you, vile.

I’m off to eat an enormous shop bought chocolate muffin. This afternoon a Polish midwife who reminded me of Mrs Trunchbull pressed my pubic bone so hard I thought I was going to pass out then declared, “Baby big, but don’t worry, you no have giant!”.

 
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I don't know if I've said this before - but I used to get into real arguments with people who couldn't understand why we don't take out-of-date food at the foodbank. Their argument was "they are poor they should be grateful"
What usually shut them up was when I told them that I liberated an OOD (only by a few months) tin of coconut milk from the bin. I BUNGED it in a curry and it was off and ruined the meal. I have the means to cook something else, because my cupboards are generally quite full. If we start lobbing out of date food into people's parcels, they don't have that option if its grim, that tin WAS their meal.
Its a similar thing here - the risks aren't worth taking because if it gets ballsed up you're stuck.

If Jack could do simple meals based off the actual contents of a Trussell Trust parcel that made sense, tasted good and had broad appeal I would be really happy with that development.
 
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It would bring me soooo much joy if they make her add faces to all of her “recipes”. Will save everyone some time if they don’t have to add the faces after she posts her food.
 
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*scanner purrs*



“There you go, mate. Invoice attached. Thankyou.”
 
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Knowing Jack’s cycles better than my actual menstrual one, we’re mere minutes away from a humble brag multi tweet thread about how her hateful ninnies said she couldn’t do it but she’s secured yet another 5 figure brand deal

Naturally it’ll be promptly deleted lest the Patreons cotton on that they’re sponsoring an additional rate tax payer and not tiny Tim.
 
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