Jack Monroe #102 Stop getting Bond wrong!

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it was all of those things. It did taste better than it looked, especially with a bit of doctoring



Right, who is making something next?
Hope you had a nice pudding.

Not me, I've already done my bit, once is definitely enough.
 
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It would be so interesting to see what a month of eating her food (including portion sizes) would do to a healthy person, Super Size Me style. I can just imagine the blood test results now
 
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@Fruitjack you have my greatest respect! I'm afraid i'm not brave enough to follow in your footsteps though

I do have a confession to make though dearest Frauen and Herren, tonight i have made anchovy butter! before you ban me from here for life - i'm frying breadcrumbs in it to be sprinkled on top of steamed broccoli and served with braised chickpeas and spinach and crusty bread and I promise that no devilled eggs are going anywhere near it and my ovaries are not trembling
 

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Oh dear god she's sunk to a new level of low.
Two squiggles have sent her money for the shopping trolley, despite another squiggle saying thst a trolley has been sent to her agent for her.
Due to diligent sleuthing of Fraus it turns out the original 2 squiggles are in bad times financially. One of them is in receipt of the Winter Warmer fund.
FFS. How is this legal? This is an out and put scam. She's taking money from people in actual poverty to fund her fucking sideboard addiction. If you found out a vulnerable friend or relative had given their last 20 quid to some rich celebrity because of lies they were telling you would ring the fucking police.
Absolutely fuming mad...
 
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I hope Jack's livestream went ahead with no tech glitches, that Louisa wasn't watching online causing an absolute chaos and hopefully Jack didn't have to go to another room to find a knife.

I look forward to seeing it when she uploads it
 
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TBF, her earrings always look like they're not actually in her ears. I notice every time and then can't summon the energy to figure out why.
 
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Sorry for random question but out of interest when did Louisa 'she left' ? Was it after leftover larder/ mid lockdown? And did she broadcast it?
 
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I love this thread. It’s really...smart? Does that sound wanky? Everyone is smart, really quick witted and there’s Partridge references. Favourite thread on Tattle by far.
 
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I honestly would prefer a bowl of spaghetti with Worcestershire sauce or Henderson’s relish if you are vegan which I am than any of the rubbish she punts online.

Those carrot cumin and kidney bean burgers give me the actual boak

Everything she cooks just looks horrid
 
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A commendation for @Fruitjack I got as far as reading the cannelini (sic (not a pun)) beurre blanc recipe and that's as far as I want to get. I thought you were parodying her writing style with 'provocative shroud' for pasta but no, she genuinely wrote that. Other gems include:

-her first sentence being a run-on behemoth that spans no fewer than six lines of text
-the physical impossibility of anything being 'subtly powerful'
-unctuous
-use white wine or cider, because like herbs, mushrooms and indeed ALL VEGETABLES, alcohol is interchangeable
 
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Oh, Christ! "Mumgella" has mentioned Proust..
Literary Jack will hit Twitter any second now.
 
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TBF, her earrings always look like they're not actually in her ears. I notice every time and then can't summon the energy to figure out why.
Every time I see a pair of those nana earrings hanging on for dear life I think this, she needs proper backs on them else they'll be looted by the Disney mice or end up embedded in a limb (call the plastic surgeon !)
 
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it was all of those things. It did taste better than it looked, especially with a bit of doctoring



Right, who is making something next?
Shan’t. Made the peach curry once and that’s enough. Plus I sprained my ankle doing step earlier and now I have an ice pack on it as it’s SWOLLEN AND OUCHY. I’d go to hospital but it’s a seven hour walk across windswept countryside. Meh.
 
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