Jack Monroe #101 The bubble bursts
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Looking forward to a 10 hour blow-by-blow description of Jack removing a splinter #twittercontent
Oh no. This means we are going to get a blow-by-blow account of this splinter all bloody day aren’t we. SO TEDIOUS.
Of course there’s a medical emergency. Presumably BB has worked through the night/Not there to pay attention to J, so there’s a medical emergency. Textbook.
This made me hoot because she obviously thinks this is something that would happen, just who does she think she is? Does she really look at the women always in the tabloids - very glamorous, all done up, posting Instagram photos lounging around a pool in some sunny country while wearing a thong bikini - and think yeah, just like me?! I’m not slating either here, just pointing out she is definitely not that aesthetic so why on earth would the DM be posting her sideboard shots or whatever?This is also why she doesn’t get the JM pours herself into a seductive diamanté denim number whilst popping to Wilkos Southend pap pics she so desperately cravesOh that and the fact she’s so inconsequential, a legacy Twitter profile that yields under 20 replies per tweet
Honestly tattle are the only ones hanging onto her every word and it’s just so we can make our entertainment.
Also suspicious that BB is working overtime so she’s doing a chaos
Jack, as you read, I will give you a tip. Put some germolene, or other antiseptic ointment, on the splinter area, cover with a plaster and leave for a day. Remove plaster tomorrow and repeat if the splinter hasn't been drawn out.
How has someone got to the age of 32 and thinks there's a need to go to a pharmacy to deal with a splinter? Surely she has some germolene or savlon in the house....sorry, bungalow.
How has someone got to the age of 32 and thinks there's a need to go to a pharmacy to deal with a splinter? Surely she has some germolene or savlon in the house....sorry, bungalow.
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Bloody hell, if there's ever a tweet to sum up how self absorbed that utter cowbag is it's that one. Two minutes past 11 on remembrance Sunday. Jack - I know there's a lot going on, but I've got a splinter.
duck's sake
duck's sake
January 2016 Jack becomes vegan, she spends 2 years being vegan, so Jan 2018. Photo with kebab van July 2017. Maths isn't her strong point.
Can you imagine the chemist's face when she turns up with a hurty finger
?(Putting aside the fact this splinter probably doesn't exist).
I think you'll find that's a crappy RENTED BUNGALOW. Also a Jack Ouchy is best healed using the traditional medicine of Twitter sympathy and donations to the tips jar.
Once again the coven has made me laugh so much already. Thank you everyone, I have my thumb practically glued to the laughing emoticon.
Coven also puts any secret service to shame. If anyone ever needs our help- the multi-disciplinary expert team is here to help. We have only been practicing free of charge with our consulting services to Jackie. And no tip jar in sight.
More to the point, isn't she meant to be all pharmacy trained, blah blah? Expert on medication and all that jazz?
Are you not familiar with her body of work, MancBee? She was practically a pharmacist at one point. I think she knows what she’s doing. Now duck off x
Lol.
A bread poultice would draw it out. Soft, soft pillowy cheap bread obvs.
I agree that most of her followers probably don't follow her that closely. I followed her for years and thought she sometimes came across as a bit annoying on twitter but didn't notice a lot of stuff, because I didn't see every single tweet (and of course a lot of them were deleted), and I went through phases where I didn't use twitter for a while. The "That Man" and David Walliams pile ons totally passed me by. I followed her on instagram during the DKL & Hellmans days but didn't actually bother to watch either of them. And with the kitten situation, all I saw was a few photos of a kitten on instagram and didn't pay much attention, and I had no idea about the whole story until I read. I came across these threads completely by chance, because I found this site originally to read about someone else but noticed that Jack had loads of threads so thought "I wonder what people are saying about her?" and that was when I found out about most of that stuff.
I also think I fell into the "If they do make a recipe, they'll usually tweak it unthinkingly, so they don't experience the full horror" trap when I was a fan of her. I made a few of her recipes, but thinking back on it, I don't think I ever followed one completely to the letter. I know enough about cooking to improvise and do stuff that the recipe doesn't necessarily state, like heating up the oil first. And I was surprised when I saw a quote on here where she said she wrote her entire first book without using any salt, and she didn't use salt in her recipes until she met Allegra. I had her first book and I didn't even realise she never used salt, I just put salt in everything anyway because it was second nature.
Plot twist. Am on a grunk so sorry if this has already been posted.
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Same way the cat 'went missing' when somebody was working on US election night.
DON'T THINK ABOUT YOUR JOB, THINK ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Didn't the Urban Decay eye injury happen at the same time somebody was doing important job stuff as well?
Mrs Tunnel brought back some “magic cream” from a school trip to the USA (I know, fancy!!) that we cannot get here. It is an analgesic and antiseptic and goodness knows what else. It will clear up LITERALLY anything overnight.
Sadly, those trips are long gone in the current educational landscape and our lifestyle (post Covid obviously) will no longer stretch to holidays to the USA so we ration it.
I would be ashamed to see any healthcare professional over a splinter.
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