Hello everyone and welcome to the 76th edition of the Jack Grealish thread sponsored by Crocs and Love Honey
Congratuwelldone to @cornflower - she has the juice and the winning thread title
In bab news: he made a very dramatic return to the pitch, scored a goel within 5 mins of being on and then got kicked in the nads. Since England camp kicked off he has that very special England glow and has looked like he was carved from God's own clay as per. The last thread was traditionally chaotic, other subjects included hamsters and poo (which is keeping it clean).
In honour of the international break our poll is FAVOURITE ENGLAND PICTURE - I'll leave nipnops to when @cornflower makes a thread as I'm not an expert. Although I am also not English so God knows why I'm making this bloody poll either especially not for this snakey bastard. Blasting Simply Red while I make this btw.
Delicious Debut
For many of us, including myself, Euro 2020 was a moment of delirious awakening when Jack stepped out onto the pitch against Denmark. This option is for the watershed moment when lives up and down the country were changed forever, and we suddenly understood why yer Da is always shouting 'GET GREALISH ON'. Slicked back and as sleek as a gazelle. Literally where have you been all my life.
What Could Have Bea-n
As a proud colleen this should have been a moment of sheer glee but during the Euro's final I was sat on the edge of the sofa, cramming the 18th Nigella's banana chocolate tahini pudding I had made that week into my shaking gob (which for some reason I couldn't stop stress-baking throughout the whole tournament) and screaming into my cupped hands with nerves. I had 5 minutes where I was furious that this beautiful bastard didn't take a penalty until he redeemed himself on twitter. Genuinely felt hungover for two days in the aftermath despite not having a drop of devil's water; it was probably the aftermath of fallin in love.
Press Conference Cutie
I was so impressed with how fuckin fine he looked during the press conference, in which he denounced his allegiance to the land of our ancestors, that I forgot all about this national betrayal and used these as the source images for the notorious Korean baby app mash ups of our ridiculously beautiful offspring. Even the fly couldn't get enough.
Is that England?
Despite kicking a ball around on grass professionally for this sceptered isle, Jack has no idea what England looks like or where it is. In fact, he asks the question many of us have asked ourselves of this green and pleasant land after years of Boris as PM and a cost of living crisis on the horizon - is that England indeed. A covert political statement perhaps? Or simply a result of being a custard man (hot and thick).
Our Lady of Underarmor
As a result of being a 'nesh' lad, Jack inexplicably wears his underlayers constantly despite the fact that we want to see every inch of flesh we are allowed. In what some may call a peak 'sub-Jack' gesture, he decided to roll it up over his taught tum in frustration along with the signature short tuck looking like the rent was due. For my classical art fans and/or Catholics out there, this is basically a Saint Sebastian moment; beautiful, tortured, iconically hot.
Floatie Fun
Someone at England's press team knew what they were doing here. Not only did they give us the glory of Bukayo on a Unicorn, we also have Jack flapping about in what appears to be the kiddies pool they set up for these grown ass men, blowing off some steam with Shamu.
WAZAFOOT
This is what this image was captioned as on pinterest, so I kept it because this point I'm running out of title ideas, my eyes are falling out and I'm even past it with Mick warbling on in my earoles. Do you remember this naff photo shoot? Did you like it? If so, vote for it.
Barrier Bunda
Here he is vaulting the barrier to give some lucky sod his clothes, which wasn't any of us unforgivable. Lovely bum though. If Rear of the Year was still a thing he would walk away with it.
Cap
Very straightforward - this image made me realise that England caps are actual hats?!?!?! Does he actually wear this?!!? If so I need a pic.
This Sporting Life
A little vintage England style from The Face shoot. My copy of this was late in the post and I actually emailed the Face customer service in a bleeping frenzy not caring that I looked like a mad woman asking WHERE IS MY COPY OF THE JACK GREALISH MAGAZINE. My eyes watered when I first saw these pictures tbh this man could have me singing AND DID THOSE FEET IN ANCIENT TIME der der der der der der der der
Congratuwelldone to @cornflower - she has the juice and the winning thread title
In bab news: he made a very dramatic return to the pitch, scored a goel within 5 mins of being on and then got kicked in the nads. Since England camp kicked off he has that very special England glow and has looked like he was carved from God's own clay as per. The last thread was traditionally chaotic, other subjects included hamsters and poo (which is keeping it clean).
In honour of the international break our poll is FAVOURITE ENGLAND PICTURE - I'll leave nipnops to when @cornflower makes a thread as I'm not an expert. Although I am also not English so God knows why I'm making this bloody poll either especially not for this snakey bastard. Blasting Simply Red while I make this btw.
Delicious Debut
For many of us, including myself, Euro 2020 was a moment of delirious awakening when Jack stepped out onto the pitch against Denmark. This option is for the watershed moment when lives up and down the country were changed forever, and we suddenly understood why yer Da is always shouting 'GET GREALISH ON'. Slicked back and as sleek as a gazelle. Literally where have you been all my life.
What Could Have Bea-n
As a proud colleen this should have been a moment of sheer glee but during the Euro's final I was sat on the edge of the sofa, cramming the 18th Nigella's banana chocolate tahini pudding I had made that week into my shaking gob (which for some reason I couldn't stop stress-baking throughout the whole tournament) and screaming into my cupped hands with nerves. I had 5 minutes where I was furious that this beautiful bastard didn't take a penalty until he redeemed himself on twitter. Genuinely felt hungover for two days in the aftermath despite not having a drop of devil's water; it was probably the aftermath of fallin in love.
Press Conference Cutie
I was so impressed with how fuckin fine he looked during the press conference, in which he denounced his allegiance to the land of our ancestors, that I forgot all about this national betrayal and used these as the source images for the notorious Korean baby app mash ups of our ridiculously beautiful offspring. Even the fly couldn't get enough.
Is that England?
Despite kicking a ball around on grass professionally for this sceptered isle, Jack has no idea what England looks like or where it is. In fact, he asks the question many of us have asked ourselves of this green and pleasant land after years of Boris as PM and a cost of living crisis on the horizon - is that England indeed. A covert political statement perhaps? Or simply a result of being a custard man (hot and thick).
Our Lady of Underarmor
As a result of being a 'nesh' lad, Jack inexplicably wears his underlayers constantly despite the fact that we want to see every inch of flesh we are allowed. In what some may call a peak 'sub-Jack' gesture, he decided to roll it up over his taught tum in frustration along with the signature short tuck looking like the rent was due. For my classical art fans and/or Catholics out there, this is basically a Saint Sebastian moment; beautiful, tortured, iconically hot.
Floatie Fun
Someone at England's press team knew what they were doing here. Not only did they give us the glory of Bukayo on a Unicorn, we also have Jack flapping about in what appears to be the kiddies pool they set up for these grown ass men, blowing off some steam with Shamu.
WAZAFOOT
This is what this image was captioned as on pinterest, so I kept it because this point I'm running out of title ideas, my eyes are falling out and I'm even past it with Mick warbling on in my earoles. Do you remember this naff photo shoot? Did you like it? If so, vote for it.
Barrier Bunda
Here he is vaulting the barrier to give some lucky sod his clothes, which wasn't any of us unforgivable. Lovely bum though. If Rear of the Year was still a thing he would walk away with it.
Cap
Very straightforward - this image made me realise that England caps are actual hats?!?!?! Does he actually wear this?!!? If so I need a pic.
This Sporting Life
A little vintage England style from The Face shoot. My copy of this was late in the post and I actually emailed the Face customer service in a bleeping frenzy not caring that I looked like a mad woman asking WHERE IS MY COPY OF THE JACK GREALISH MAGAZINE. My eyes watered when I first saw these pictures tbh this man could have me singing AND DID THOSE FEET IN ANCIENT TIME der der der der der der der der