Its very bad dementia and you can get it at any age as well. A woman I know who was a nurse said that she had nursed someone who was 17 with it! I knew you could get it young but not that young .Its just really awful for anybody who has to go through this with a family member.
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It sounds like it's more of a fantasy, you don't know how you would actually feel if anything did happen, if that makes sense. Tricky situation to be in though
When I first moved to a new area I got talking to this guy, we really hit it off and hooked up a few times. I really wasn't looking for anything so was happy just having some drunken fun with him. A few weeks later I met a new friend and found out she was madly in love with him and he has been stringing her along for months and months and months.
I never told her what had been happening but needless to say I never went there again
I never told her what had been happening but needless to say I never went there again
I use to work in a card shop and one of my managers put aside some Christmas decorations (bear figurines) in our stockroom that she was going to buy on payday. I was up there getting something and accidentally knocked one off the shelf and it broke. I was so worried about telling her, I put it back on the side and didn’t say anything to her. When she eventually found it, she was so annoyed and thought it on the other manager who had done it as they didn’t get on.
Never thought about it like that but I completely agree with you. So weird, its just not logical to me. Like my husbands everything I could want a more. Just can't seem to shake it off!It sounds like it's more of a fantasy, you don't know how you would actually feel if anything did happen, if that makes sense. Tricky situation to be in though
Right now I have the biggest crush I've had in literal years (I'm in a long-term relationship) on one of my managers. Idk though, hoping the feeling will pass I find it hard to deal with crushes as I have BPD and can be kinda obsessive with it comes to these types of things. I had a bit of a thing for a previous manager too and there was so much chemistry between us but ofc nothing ever happened, he was married and I don't think I'd ever cheat on my partner. I don't know, it's a tough one but he keeps looking at me and idk if I'm imagining it or what. 
I feel so shy though like a teenager all over again ffs.
I feel so shy though like a teenager all over again ffs.Hey hun I have BPD, the stigma sucks but my family couldn't have been more understanding. They were more concerned about me getting better than anything else, but everyone's family is different. I don't tell anyone else, but if you need help go to your GP or CMHT and seek help. There's no shame in struggling, especially at this time of year and this year in general. Lots of love
This must be awful i feel so bad for you and anyone else in this situation. I will never understand why we do not allow euthanasia for people yet we allow animals to be put out of their suffering; all of the doctors I know agree with euthanasia as they know how bad things can get towards the end
Problem is if you needed to be able to consent someone with dementia wouldn't be deemed able. Which is sad as I know my dad wouldn't have wanted to live how he did for the last 2 or 3 years of his life. He was on antidepressants because he was so sad but he couldn't vocalise anything nor would be have been classed as having capacity to make such a big decision. Yet if you kept an animal in the condition he was in you would be jailed
The ideal situation would be putting something like this in a will far beforehand (obviously this wouldn't always be possible) but in the same way you have a non resussitation order or something (ignore my crap spelling lol)
I hate having sex.
It feels ok when it’s happening and my partner is great and always without fail makes sure I orgasm multiple times so that’s not my problem.
But the thought of it turns me off. I never want it and when it’s happening I just want it to be over. Me and my partner are young yet rarely sleep together. I was groomed online and grape by someone older when I was 14 which I think is a large part of it and I was also grape on a night out when I was 19. My ex also used to grape me regularly so I think I just can’t associate sex with anything positive.
I love my boyfriend so much, I just wish he didn’t want to have sex with me.
It feels ok when it’s happening and my partner is great and always without fail makes sure I orgasm multiple times so that’s not my problem.
But the thought of it turns me off. I never want it and when it’s happening I just want it to be over. Me and my partner are young yet rarely sleep together. I was groomed online and grape by someone older when I was 14 which I think is a large part of it and I was also grape on a night out when I was 19. My ex also used to grape me regularly so I think I just can’t associate sex with anything positive.
I love my boyfriend so much, I just wish he didn’t want to have sex with me.
This is so sad , I hope you can seek some help and find some sort of peace after what you’ve been through . You deserve to enjoy it x
I’m so sorry xxx
If you dont want to have sex now or ever again then you dont have to. Its your body. You can just have platonic friendships if you wish with men. Could you contact the G.P or some womens services near you and ask about counselling? I'm sorry you have been through all that, some men are bleeping pigs.
I am so sorry for this, you really need (if you can) to try and seek help, after all you have gone through it is totally normal you find sex difficult, it would almost be strange if you didn't. Does your partner know about this? I think even without talking to a professional (although this would be the best thing to do) it could help to explain it to him just to make you feel maybe more relaxed around him? (I have no personal experience of this though, but just something from friends who have experienced the same found helpful)
I am the same since I was grape 13 years ago, but I was never really into sex before that, my husband was the only man I’d been with. I’ve not had sex in 10 years and thank goodness my husband understands and loves me. I just can’t bring myself to do it. I tried for 3 years after the grape and I did it just for my marriage sake. One day I broke down at my smear test as I even found that too difficult and told her why, she told me to speak to my husband so I did and since then he’s understood and accepted I just can’t do it. Maybe in the future but I’m not going to pressure myself.
Im so sorry you’re in this situation, try and tell him how you feel. I’m sure he will reassure you it’s normal to feel this way after what you’ve been through. Sending you a hug xx
I have spoken about this briefly on Tattle.
For the last three years I have been trying to find out the identity of an online friend. We have been friends since I was just a kid but even now I know very little about him in terms of his identity and every time I have asked him outright he dodges the question or mysteriously his camera is broken so we can’t facetime. My parents had arguments with him when I was a child demanding to know who he was, he used to troll us by saying ‘this is me!’ and then sending cartoon pictures or drawings.
It sounds stupid but as the years have gone on I’ve suffered mentally as a result, I am always worried he’s going to find and hurt me as he could be anyone, I have totally restricted my social media as it terrifies me what I put out there to this stranger as a child. When I found out he was lying to me about his identity I struggled to go to university as I was so worried he was going to jump out from behind a corner. I begged and begged him to just tell me the truth or at least show me who he really was but he refused and to this day still refuses. He doesn’t see the issue in it and since our talks haven’t ever been sexual he says I’m worrying over nothing.
He sent me an email once years ago. Recently, out of desperation, I ran the email through one of those ‘people finder’ websites which gave me a phone number I hadn’t seen before - linked to a man who lived nowhere near where (friend) said he did - a man much older than what would be my (now twenty three years old) friend, at least in his early sixties.
I feel bad about it, awful, like I’m some sort of stalker even though really I have no definitive proof that it is him and even if I did I wouldn’t do anything with that information or spread it around or anything really horrible. I can’t tell anyone in my day to day life for fear I’d be absolutely roasted; the one person I did tell twisted it around on me and said I was being a horrible friend. Our relationship as friends has totally disintegrated because I don’t trust him at all any more and my anxiety around him is so high. He’s disappeared now though, it’s been four months, and though I still long for closure about it it’s oddly relieving.
For the last three years I have been trying to find out the identity of an online friend. We have been friends since I was just a kid but even now I know very little about him in terms of his identity and every time I have asked him outright he dodges the question or mysteriously his camera is broken so we can’t facetime. My parents had arguments with him when I was a child demanding to know who he was, he used to troll us by saying ‘this is me!’ and then sending cartoon pictures or drawings.
It sounds stupid but as the years have gone on I’ve suffered mentally as a result, I am always worried he’s going to find and hurt me as he could be anyone, I have totally restricted my social media as it terrifies me what I put out there to this stranger as a child. When I found out he was lying to me about his identity I struggled to go to university as I was so worried he was going to jump out from behind a corner. I begged and begged him to just tell me the truth or at least show me who he really was but he refused and to this day still refuses. He doesn’t see the issue in it and since our talks haven’t ever been sexual he says I’m worrying over nothing.
He sent me an email once years ago. Recently, out of desperation, I ran the email through one of those ‘people finder’ websites which gave me a phone number I hadn’t seen before - linked to a man who lived nowhere near where (friend) said he did - a man much older than what would be my (now twenty three years old) friend, at least in his early sixties.
I feel bad about it, awful, like I’m some sort of stalker even though really I have no definitive proof that it is him and even if I did I wouldn’t do anything with that information or spread it around or anything really horrible. I can’t tell anyone in my day to day life for fear I’d be absolutely roasted; the one person I did tell twisted it around on me and said I was being a horrible friend. Our relationship as friends has totally disintegrated because I don’t trust him at all any more and my anxiety around him is so high. He’s disappeared now though, it’s been four months, and though I still long for closure about it it’s oddly relieving.
Thank you all.
My boyfriend knows about everything and he is amazing, so supportive. He's told me numerous times if I ever need to talk about anything he's there or even if I don't want to. He never pushes sex and is nervous of thinking he's made me feel like I have to do it. I am more than happy to do other things to keep him satisfied, but I know he wants actual sex so I do it occasionally. I know some people say I shouldn't if I don't want it, but as I said it's ok when it's happening and I orgasm so it's not as if he forces me. I'd just rather not bother if that makes sense? Even though he knows sometimes I think he doesn't understand fully how much I'd just be happy to never bother again. Sometimes I think I'm just not a very sexual person but realising it probably is linked to my past experiences in some way.
Hopefully I'll feel able to get some professional help eventually as we want to start trying for a baby in the next 3-4 years
My boyfriend knows about everything and he is amazing, so supportive. He's told me numerous times if I ever need to talk about anything he's there or even if I don't want to. He never pushes sex and is nervous of thinking he's made me feel like I have to do it. I am more than happy to do other things to keep him satisfied, but I know he wants actual sex so I do it occasionally. I know some people say I shouldn't if I don't want it, but as I said it's ok when it's happening and I orgasm so it's not as if he forces me. I'd just rather not bother if that makes sense? Even though he knows sometimes I think he doesn't understand fully how much I'd just be happy to never bother again. Sometimes I think I'm just not a very sexual person but realising it probably is linked to my past experiences in some way.
Hopefully I'll feel able to get some professional help eventually as we want to start trying for a baby in the next 3-4 years
So awful isn't it. Actually nice to hear that your husband understands it so well! As understanding is my boyfriend is I do have a constant worry that it will push him away eventually xx
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your boyfriend sounds great, good luck with everything and with the possible babyThank you all.
My boyfriend knows about everything and he is amazing, so supportive. He's told me numerous times if I ever need to talk about anything he's there or even if I don't want to. He never pushes sex and is nervous of thinking he's made me feel like I have to do it. I am more than happy to do other things to keep him satisfied, but I know he wants actual sex so I do it occasionally. I know some people say I shouldn't if I don't want it, but as I said it's ok when it's happening and I orgasm so it's not as if he forces me. I'd just rather not bother if that makes sense? Even though he knows sometimes I think he doesn't understand fully how much I'd just be happy to never bother again. Sometimes I think I'm just not a very sexual person but realising it probably is linked to my past experiences in some way.
Hopefully I'll feel able to get some professional help eventually as we want to start trying for a baby in the next 3-4 years
So awful isn't it. Actually nice to hear that your husband understands it so well! As understanding is my boyfriend is I do have a constant worry that it will push him away eventually xx
. If you are open (and he is a good guy)I don't think you will push him away, and TBH if this did push him away he is not the person to be with
Oh my... this thread makes for emotionally turbulent reading in every way. Hilarity, sadness, the vileness of some of human kind ( sorry but it’s predominantly predatory men) and the utter solidarity and support strangers are able to show each other even in complete anonymity.
I have a few I could add...
As a teen my mates and I frequented the same tit hole pub because they closed at 2am, every weekend. It became a kind of 2 group battleground of my friends and an older rougher set of women who’d likely shagged the entire pub and we were kind of fresh meat so got lots of attention (we were a 6-16 strong group!) so one weekend it got physical, a couple from each group physically fought. The next weekend we resolved to get payback by apologising, buying them a drink and lacing it with cat worming tablets crushed up. The ring leader had gut rot and leftnot long after. She was fine tho and back the next week.
age 9 on holiday in Florida I was groped by a stall holder when I got separated from my parents at a flea market
my drink was spiked in a night club and I was found without my tights in a loo. I don’t want to know what happened to me.
I hate any form of intimacy. I’m just over it.
I knocked the wing mirror off my first car pulling into the driveway and swore blind to my mum that it was like it when I came out of work one day.
I have a few I could add...
As a teen my mates and I frequented the same tit hole pub because they closed at 2am, every weekend. It became a kind of 2 group battleground of my friends and an older rougher set of women who’d likely shagged the entire pub and we were kind of fresh meat so got lots of attention (we were a 6-16 strong group!) so one weekend it got physical, a couple from each group physically fought. The next weekend we resolved to get payback by apologising, buying them a drink and lacing it with cat worming tablets crushed up. The ring leader had gut rot and leftnot long after. She was fine tho and back the next week.
age 9 on holiday in Florida I was groped by a stall holder when I got separated from my parents at a flea market
my drink was spiked in a night club and I was found without my tights in a loo. I don’t want to know what happened to me.
I hate any form of intimacy. I’m just over it.
I knocked the wing mirror off my first car pulling into the driveway and swore blind to my mum that it was like it when I came out of work one day.
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