Is my 'best friend' jealous of my pregnancy?

[Upintheair83]

So I usually come on this website for a laugh but having seen the massive support people give to each other on here I thought I'd come out with this as its been playing on my mind for ages and wanted other peoples opinions.....

I am pregnant with my first baby. My husband and I went through a lot (inc fertility treatment) to get this pregnancy so it wasnt anything like a whoops baby or anything.

And naturally I told my best friend as soon as the test showed positive A) because shes my best friend and B) because I was so excited.

*Disclaimer, my friend doesnt have children, is 10 years older than me, and will repeatedly slag babies and children off calling them a 'rip off', which to me, indicates she doesnt want them - but I'm starting to feel different now after this show of jealously*

But from the moment she found I am pregnant, in came the bitter and quite frankly what I believe to be jealous comments. When I told her about the positive test, rather than saying "congratulations!" (after knowing what we'd been through to get there), she said "dont get too excited, you might miscarry". Which put a downer on it.

Since then the comments have continued. Every time I excitedly mention either I've bought something, or im looking at buying something for the baby, comments like "I'd never buy that, its tit and the baby wont like it". I bought some bits the other day and she took the piss out of me calling me "keen" and "one of those mums who buys everything". She even said "I'd laugh if you ended up with twins you'd never cope it would be like watching a live meltdown" and "ha ha bet youre gutted you cant drink now at Christmas youre gonna well miss out duck having to give up things like that all for a crappy baby" (Like that bothers me ffs!)

But the comments that have pushed me over the edge were "if your baby comes out ugly that'd be hilarious" and "if you dont breastfeed your baby wont connect to you and it'll grow up hating you"

Sorry but who the duck says those things to not only a first time mum, but someone who's gone through extensive fertility treatment and a load of money to get this blessing?

I am very rapidly going off her and I spoke to my mum about it and she said it sounds like my friend is very bitter and jealous and is going off on the defensive, rude act to try and give off the impression that she doesnt want kids, but maybe that's what she desperately wants?

Like I said shes 10 years older than me, doesnt have a partner.

Sorry this has gone off on a rant, but I needed to air this because I am sick and tired of it. Why cant people just be happy for others?

Omg hun this is awful! What sort of friend says any of these things?!
Whether or not she wants babies she should never say the awful things she is.
A friend should be supportive and happy for your happiness.
I know it’s hard for you right now to digest why she’s like this but I honestly think you should have some space from her. You should be enjoying this moment you have waited so so long for. Don’t let someone else put a dampener on it.
It’s up to you if you remain friends with her, but I do think you deserve so much more from the friendship.
It’s such an amazing time for you and if she can’t see that then she’s not a friend. Please look after yourself and put yourself and the baby first, her attitude stinks quite honestly.

 

[Fizzwhizz2020]

So I usually come on this website for a laugh but having seen the massive support people give to each other on here I thought I'd come out with this as its been playing on my mind for ages and wanted other peoples opinions.....

I am pregnant with my first baby. My husband and I went through a lot (inc fertility treatment) to get this pregnancy so it wasnt anything like a whoops baby or anything.

And naturally I told my best friend as soon as the test showed positive A) because shes my best friend and B) because I was so excited.

*Disclaimer, my friend doesnt have children, is 10 years older than me, and will repeatedly slag babies and children off calling them a 'rip off', which to me, indicates she doesnt want them - but I'm starting to feel different now after this show of jealously*

But from the moment she found I am pregnant, in came the bitter and quite frankly what I believe to be jealous comments. When I told her about the positive test, rather than saying "congratulations!" (after knowing what we'd been through to get there), she said "dont get too excited, you might miscarry". Which put a downer on it.

Since then the comments have continued. Every time I excitedly mention either I've bought something, or im looking at buying something for the baby, comments like "I'd never buy that, its tit and the baby wont like it". I bought some bits the other day and she took the piss out of me calling me "keen" and "one of those mums who buys everything". She even said "I'd laugh if you ended up with twins you'd never cope it would be like watching a live meltdown" and "ha ha bet youre gutted you cant drink now at Christmas youre gonna well miss out duck having to give up things like that all for a crappy baby" (Like that bothers me ffs!)

But the comments that have pushed me over the edge were "if your baby comes out ugly that'd be hilarious" and "if you dont breastfeed your baby wont connect to you and it'll grow up hating you"

Sorry but who the duck says those things to not only a first time mum, but someone who's gone through extensive fertility treatment and a load of money to get this blessing?

I am very rapidly going off her and I spoke to my mum about it and she said it sounds like my friend is very bitter and jealous and is going off on the defensive, rude act to try and give off the impression that she doesnt want kids, but maybe that's what she desperately wants?

Like I said shes 10 years older than me, doesnt have a partner.

Sorry this has gone off on a rant, but I needed to air this because I am sick and tired of it. Why cant people just be happy for others?

I don’t agree with anything your friend said at all, as it’s not nice at all given that you’re so excited and it’s a much longer for bubba. But it sounds like she’s hurt. I’m not making excuses for her behaviour but it could be the source of it. Just because someone says how awful babies are, it doesn’t always mean she means it and it could be a self defence mechanism. My best friend went through a total hysterectomy at 37 due to cancer and now she has nothing nice to say about children. But knowing her as I do, it’s because she always dreamed of having them and the option has been taken away.
I’m just playing devils advocate. If you’ve always been good friends, then I’d pull her up on her behaviour and maybe ask her why she feels the need to be that way. But whatever happens, you’ll have a beautiful little one soon x