Is anyone really happy?

[Gossgirl12]

I'd say I'm very in-between at the moment. I'm very much an over thinker and I mourn my old life, I'm only early thirties now but I spent my entire 20's with a man who ended up being the most selfish, cruel, narcissistic man that I now feel like I've wasted what should have been the best years of my life. It was a very boring relationship also, never went on dates etc. I can't say I regret it as that relationship gave me my son who I adore and love more than anything but I spend a lot of time thinking about what could have been, how different my life might be now if I hadn't met him. I'd say that I have a comfortable life in that I've got a good job, earn good money, have lots of friends, a wonderful close family, but I've also very much turned in to an introvert whereas before, I was very much an extrovert. I feel like I need to start living again. I also can never imagine a day where I'd ever be able to get into a relationship again, even though I'd love to be with someone again, one day. I'm almost scared of men now yet I cry when I see cute couple videos I think many of us have our down days, where it seems like the world is against us but I do always try to see the good in what I've got compared to some. It's just very hard sometimes.

 

[Tree_]

I don't strive for happiness because I believe being content is good and realistic and then moments of happiness will intersperse

 

[Mamacita]

Happiness definitely comes and goes. I don't think anyone feels 100% happy all of the time. Life comes with a range of emotions. Some days I feel like my life is tit, my relationship isn't good, I don't have enough money to do what I want, and that surely there is something better out there. Other days I feel extremely appreciative of what I've got and feel good about what I do have.

I also definitely feel much happier now I have a job that I don't hate. Not that I love it, but it doesn't stress me out like my previous job and I'm not dreading every day like before. So in a way i think part of happiness is the absence of very negative things. The job situation was taking over my thoughts to the point that I couldn't ever say I was happy as there was this huge part of my life that was making me unhappy.

 

[Slaybutter]

For me happiness comes and goes throughout the day or week. I’m grateful for my savings account and my flat that’s all my own. I do sometimes dream of having a house full of people but truthfully I would enjoy it for five minutes, maybe 2 days, before I want to run back to my life.
Sometimes it feels like in utero I made a deal with the devil — I have a lot of things that society says we should want but at the same time sacrificed having things that bring meaning like friends and family. I have a boyfriend and now his best friend is also my good friend. If anything happened to my relationship I would be quite lost.
The periods of my life that I look back on and feel like I was thriving coincide with when I set aside part of my day to learn something new. It could be any subject it just can’t come from social media. Those times give me a sense of accomplishment, happiness, and joy.

Lmao this post needs an update. Life is difficult, relationships are difficult, however I’m sure life will get good again.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Sort of.

I’m happy in my marriage, my husband is my best friend. I’m okay with work aside from a few idiots, but it’s tolerable and I’m financially comfortable. So yeah on the surface I am happy.

I definitely have some deep rooted unhappiness though. After years of parental emotional neglect and rejection, bullying through school & work and then just generally always feeling like an outsider, I have a lot of issues and deep unhappiness.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I don't strive for happiness because I believe being content is good and realistic and then moments of happiness will intersperse

Agreed.

It comes and goes, you just find what drives you and what gives you purpose.

 

[tinkertailorsoldierspy]

I think a lot of it is expectations. We are shown all these Netflix shows and social media portrayals where women and men have ridiculously perfect styled hair, make up, clothes with pristine houses and relationships where sex is plentiful and wonderful.
And in reality it's not like that. Real life is so far removed from these unrealistic and often unobtainable portrayals.
I think the best way to try to be happy is to be kind to yourself. Appreciate the small things and the everyday things like nature. Just love yourself throughout all the ups and downs. That's what I'm trying to do anyway, though it's often not easy.

 

[Woolmercardington]

No, not really. I'm just plodding through life without actually living it.

 

[atomic]

I don't strive for happiness because I believe being content is good and realistic and then moments of happiness will intersperse

I have never really thought of it like this before, but this is exactly how I feel! I’ve spent a long time suffering with an untreated severe anxiety disorder (I’m on medication and in therapy now) and for me, contentment and calmness is all I need. I have a wonderful partner, a good job and a nice lifestyle, and although I have some amazing days and some terrible days, a general stable state of contentment rather than all consuming elation is enough.

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

No. I do have lots of moments of joy and and happiness, and I’m more settled than I used to be, but I’m not content, far from it. I feel the lack of my own family all the time.

 

[skintsocks]

The simple answer is no. I did a runner once, and I didn't do it the right way. I returned. There is no connection whatsoever with my husband. I returned for my children. He chucks money at me for my birthday and he thinks that's all he needs to do. The children are now away and I am stuck with him and he absolutely gives me the ick. He controls the tv and everything else and we have the same programmes on every single bleeping night and he thinks that is fine, but it's just so boring. I have tried to fancy him whilst drunk but he's really repulsive and I can't even stand him touching me. I try, I try so hard, but I find nothing attractive about him anymore. He just has nothing about him. I know I'm not his type also, so when I really really tried recently, he just can't. He can't do what he claims he wants to do. You know what I'm saying. Am I really spending my life like this? Not quite sure what to do.

 

[Kim Mild]

No, not really. I'm just plodding through life without actually living it.

I feel like I just exist ,too , rather than actually living . It's quite sad , I think I'm going to look back on this period of my life with regret.

 

[kettlecrisp32]

I feel like I just exist ,too , rather than actually living . It's quite sad , I think I'm going to look back on this period of my life with regret.

I feel exactly this at the moment. I had a really difficult few months last year - my mum died and then I broke up with my partner, not long after. Although I wasn’t happy with a lot of how the relationship was, I still felt content/settled, weird as that may sound. We argued a lot and I was very frustrated with a lot of his behaviour but I still felt content to just do nothing when I was with him. Now we’ve broken up I feel unsettled and just feel like I’m ‘getting through’ life rather than living or enjoying it. I want to try and be content being single for a while but I just feel like I want to be in a relationship and have someone there and that I won’t feel happy unless I do

 

[Megansnarkle]

The simple answer is no. I did a runner once, and I didn't do it the right way. I returned. There is no connection whatsoever with my husband. I returned for my children. He chucks money at me for my birthday and he thinks that's all he needs to do. The children are now away and I am stuck with him and he absolutely gives me the ick. He controls the tv and everything else and we have the same programmes on every single bleeping night and he thinks that is fine, but it's just so boring. I have tried to fancy him whilst drunk but he's really repulsive and I can't even stand him touching me. I try, I try so hard, but I find nothing attractive about him anymore. He just has nothing about him. I know I'm not his type also, so when I really really tried recently, he just can't. He can't do what he claims he wants to do. You know what I'm saying. Am I really spending my life like this? Not quite sure what to do.

Leave him. Or at the very least start living your own life right now. Don't fancy what he wants to watch on TV? Why not say that and then take yourself off to the bedroom to watch something on another screen or do something else? Take up a hobby that gets you out of the house at least one evening a week, learn something new at home. Make time for you and stop having your life dictated to by someone you don't even seem to like.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

The simple answer is no. I did a runner once, and I didn't do it the right way. I returned. There is no connection whatsoever with my husband. I returned for my children. He chucks money at me for my birthday and he thinks that's all he needs to do. The children are now away and I am stuck with him and he absolutely gives me the ick. He controls the tv and everything else and we have the same programmes on every single bleeping night and he thinks that is fine, but it's just so boring. I have tried to fancy him whilst drunk but he's really repulsive and I can't even stand him touching me. I try, I try so hard, but I find nothing attractive about him anymore. He just has nothing about him. I know I'm not his type also, so when I really really tried recently, he just can't. He can't do what he claims he wants to do. You know what I'm saying. Am I really spending my life like this? Not quite sure what to do.

Leave.

You shouldn't live in misery.

 

[jawidjanqndn]

No, far from it. I have a quite toxic mindset with myself if I’m honest, for years now I’ve said ‘when I get this job I’ll be happy’ ect. It’s now a ‘when I get a boyfriend I’ll be happy’ and I know that isn’t true at all but I just can’t ever be content with my life. I’m extremely independent and I almost put a front on that I’m okay and content with being on my own but I’m really not lol. It’s all a facade on social media I would love to be truly happy. I am grateful in ways as I used to suffer very badly with depression & quite honestly never thought I’d make it to today, I would of rather been 6 foot under so in the scale of things I’m doing ‘well’, but I wish one day I’d be able to turn the thoughts off and just live in the moment as it’s so draining.

 

[shadowcat5]

No, far from it. I have a quite toxic mindset with myself if I’m honest, for years now I’ve said ‘when I get this job I’ll be happy’ ect. It’s now a ‘when I get a boyfriend I’ll be happy’ and I know that isn’t true at all but I just can’t ever be content with my life. I’m extremely independent and I almost put a front on that I’m okay and content with being on my own but I’m really not lol. It’s all a facade on social media I would love to be truly happy. I am grateful in ways as I used to suffer very badly with depression & quite honestly never thought I’d make it to today, I would of rather been 6 foot under so in the scale of things I’m doing ‘well’, but I wish one day I’d be able to turn the thoughts off and just live in the moment as it’s so draining.

I could have written this myself. It was always “once I’m uni I’ll be happy”, “once Im done with my degree I’ll be happy”. Reality is I think it just distracted me from dealing with my problem. Now I’ve got all of that, the job I wanted, living alone, literally everything I’ve worked towards… I rang the gp on Friday because my depression and anxiety are so bad that I regularly think about how I don’t want to be alive so clearly none of that worked. It hurts me cause I felt this same way 10 years ago and I wasn’t supposed to make my 17th birthday. I don’t even think I can say I’m glad I’m still here