Curse my big mouth, you know I talk a lot—pls skip if it’s too much!
Thank you for that knowledge, and for your constant compassion. When I meditate to God I try to scribble little entries in a journal to capture what He says. If I meditate deeply enough, the words start to arrive. And there was this uncomfortable warning that came to me through a sea of remarks this past summer, I had underlined it: “His hands are bare, but he would use them as if they are thorned.” It frightened me that whole day.
He acts dangerously impulsively. He doesn’t think. But he does have enough control to stop himself—the concerning part is WHEN that control reaches his mind. He loves me fiercely, but he has a severe anger problem. He doesn’t believe in medicine nor psychiatry, BARELY my therapy. He refuses to be diagnosed, claiming that no one knows him better than he does, but narcissistic traits are flaming in him.
My psych told me to just stay out of his way, avoid conflict until I can leave in a few years. Just don’t fight him and I won’t get hurt in any way.
He and I have softened to each other again right now, slightly—just for the sake of things not being tense. He runs errands on my behalf or carves out pomegranates for breakfast without my asking. This happens all the time: he’s horrible but then the guilt nearly kills him so he’s kind again. It’s not a fake compassion, he’s just very sorry that he can’t take back his actions. I guess abusers (those with SOME level of empathy) do this?
I grew up with this: his crazy rage and then his offering me big bouquets of flowers or going on a special trip to New York City or cuddling up next to him to watch whatever cartoon series I wanted for the rest of the night. I feel privileged to have a father with this level of generosity…but at the same time it is very, VERY confusing, being harmed and then showered in love, again and again and again. My impressions of love are extremely damaged due to this.
I’m still changing my name, and God willing I’m still going to Wales in the next couple of years.
_______
Also this is an aside but I really need to apologize to you for biting you two threads ago during that wave of disagreements and discomfort and opinions. I implied at one point that I didn’t care about your potential loss of respect for me, and that isn’t true. I care a great deal about how you perceive me, Cookie Monsta—you and everyone here. I’m honest with my kindness, I love seeing people happy, and I don’t want that BPD-driven frustration to make my kindness seem artificial, like some kind of disguise for a mean heart. It’s real, I promise.
It’s something I’m working on, defending my stance with direct and measured words that address the issue at hand WITHOUT employing sarcasm or unkindness in between just to appease my personal nerves.
Yet another Arab proverb: “It’s best not to do that which requires an apology.” I should follow it.
Anyway, do forgive me for hurting you? I value how you think of me in this space, because we all contribute to its safety and it’s so important that you feel safe here.
I think you need to get out of the house asap. Seriously, asap!Curse my big mouth, you know I talk a lot—pls skip if it’s too much!
Thank you for that knowledge, and for your constant compassion. When I meditate to God I try to scribble little entries in a journal to capture what He says. If I meditate deeply enough, the words start to arrive. And there was this uncomfortable warning that came to me through a sea of remarks this past summer, I had underlined it: “His hands are bare, but he would use them as if they are thorned.” It frightened me that whole day.
He acts dangerously impulsively. He doesn’t think. But he does have enough control to stop himself—the concerning part is WHEN that control reaches his mind. He loves me fiercely, but he has a severe anger problem. He doesn’t believe in medicine nor psychiatry, BARELY my therapy. He refuses to be diagnosed, claiming that no one knows him better than he does, but narcissistic traits are flaming in him.
My psych told me to just stay out of his way, avoid conflict until I can leave in a few years. Just don’t fight him and I won’t get hurt in any way.
He and I have softened to each other again right now, slightly—just for the sake of things not being tense. He runs errands on my behalf or carves out pomegranates for breakfast without my asking. This happens all the time: he’s horrible but then the guilt nearly kills him so he’s kind again. It’s not a fake compassion, he’s just very sorry that he can’t take back his actions. I guess abusers (those with SOME level of empathy) do this?
I grew up with this: his crazy rage and then his offering me big bouquets of flowers or going on a special trip to New York City or cuddling up next to him to watch whatever cartoon series I wanted for the rest of the night. I feel privileged to have a father with this level of generosity…but at the same time it is very, VERY confusing, being harmed and then showered in love, again and again and again. My impressions of love are extremely damaged due to this.
I’m still changing my name, and God willing I’m still going to Wales in the next couple of years.
_______
Also this is an aside but I really need to apologize to you for biting you two threads ago during that wave of disagreements and discomfort and opinions. I implied at one point that I didn’t care about your potential loss of respect for me, and that isn’t true. I care a great deal about how you perceive me, Cookie Monsta—you and everyone here. I’m honest with my kindness, I love seeing people happy, and I don’t want that BPD-driven frustration to make my kindness seem artificial, like some kind of disguise for a mean heart. It’s real, I promise.
It’s something I’m working on, defending my stance with direct and measured words that address the issue at hand WITHOUT employing sarcasm or unkindness in between just to appease my personal nerves.
Yet another Arab proverb: “It’s best not to do that which requires an apology.” I should follow it.
Anyway, do forgive me for hurting you? I value how you think of me in this space, because we all contribute to its safety and it’s so important that you feel safe here.
He sounds like a Celtic man. Scots men will get "verklemp" over the tiniest thing an then be greetin'.. (cryin gently)Thank you! And @cookiem0nster and @CantieQuine for responding. I get it now. I'm also remembering that she called him a 'pussy' and Henry Scarf saying he was impotent while Alice did those pathetic 'gigglegiggle' emojis.
I have no idea what I'm supposed to be looking at? Looks like a forehead. Maybe my screen isn't high res enough
Some nasty pieces of work in the Comments. So I indulged and downvoted themWhoa, that DM article just sent Bianca's public profile through the roof. It's classic DM - a dozen happy pap snaps of the new couple, ranting video counterpoints from the woman he done wrong, and a primer on an illness. The only thing missing is "toned pins".
Thousands of people who have never heard of her (and may only dimly recall him) are now well aware.
I agree. Okay yes they could have fallen for each other online. And it would be plausible for her to then travel to France for two months to try and make a go of things/see if it’s real.So when the insta liking stopped in May he wasn't there but from Sept 2019 to March 2020 (Fedexed back) in Australia (plus back in LA for Xmas 2019). Then he was back in Aug 2020 to wrap up filming then back in LA until he went to France in Aug 2021
When is BW/IG trying insinuate the relationship with IG started? When BW went to France in August 2021?
I don't believe that. I reckon between Sept 2019/March 2020. At the latest.
We're in the DM as a 'witches' coven' with Alice as our 'victim' ( very old photo with 'victim' written on it just to make sure of understanding the sparkling journalism).Okay I thought I had managed to keep track of the last thread.. but I didn’t see anything about the DM?! What happened?!
Gave you a Like before you edited to add the rest, as in -- I don't know anything about the DM thing eitherOkay I thought I had managed to keep track of the last thread.. but I didn’t see anything about the DM?! What happened?!
I agree. Okay yes they could have fallen for each other online. And it would be plausible for her to then travel to France for two months to try and make a go of things/see if it’s real.
But she had already planned to move to the US. And we know by now with the seriousness of her condition that would take ALOT of forward planning. She wouldnt have moved without securing a doctor or a place to continue with her treatments.
So I am still giving the timeline a bit of a side eye.
Now we know IG was cheating with AE for a year and didn’t care she had a boyfriend… I don’t think he’s as innocent as he likes to make out.
Many American men would be better off to accept that it’s normal to have emotions and cry. As well as mAlice!I think you need to get out of the house asap. Seriously, asap!
He sounds like a Celtic man. Scots men will get "verklemp" over the tiniest thing an then be greetin'.. (cryin gently)
But also, she stripped him of everything, no dignity, no peace-just a constant onslaught of hate. And it is hate. She is beyond a terrible person. She is totally f***ked up. I have moments of feeling sorry for her. But, she betrayed him constantly. In every way possible. It sounds like he didn't have a moment of peace for years. Something is absolutely wrong with mAlice.
Oh, ok, thanksWe're in the DM as a 'witches' coven' with Alice as our 'victim' ( very old photo with 'victim' written on it just to make sure of understanding the sparkling journalism).
That’s me third from leftWe're in the DM as a 'witches' coven' with Alice as our 'victim' ( very old photo with 'victim' written on it just to make sure of understanding the sparkling journalism).
Well Boris cried yesterday according to DM. And Aussie prime ministers (and the occasional politician) don't mind having a bit of a public weep. All the men I've known have cried on occasion. And can still remember standing up to leave at a cinema at the end of the show, only to see my 'fucko' father with tears on his face after we'd watched a film where the horse died as the credits rolled upMany American men would be better off to accept that it’s normal to have emotions and cry. As well as mAlice!
People aren’t the same people they were 20 years ago. IG was 26 and a pretty immature 26 at that.Okay I thought I had managed to keep track of the last thread.. but I didn’t see anything about the DM?! What happened?!
I agree. Okay yes they could have fallen for each other online. And it would be plausible for her to then travel to France for two months to try and make a go of things/see if it’s real.
But she had already planned to move to the US. And we know by now with the seriousness of her condition that would take ALOT of forward planning. She wouldnt have moved without securing a doctor or a place to continue with her treatments.
So I am still giving the timeline a bit of a side eye.
Now we know IG was cheating with AE for a year and didn’t care she had a boyfriend… I don’t think he’s as innocent as he likes to make out.
We're in the DM as a 'witches' coven' with Alice as our 'victim' ( very old photo with 'victim' written on it just to make sure of understanding the sparkling journalism).
Not gonna deny it. My name literally is a witch!That’s me third from left
Not surprised you're bragging, seeing you're the prettiest of the lotThat’s me third from left
I agree with this - and the stuff on Idbm suggests she’s got something in the pipeline that’s got her a work visa & insurance. Ray of sunshine… I’d love it if she does, imagine how that will rankle with mAlice knowing she’s a woman of her own means and not sucking IG dry like she has for so many years!It seems like there are a few separate (but linked) questions here.
- Was there an affair?
- Does it matter / should we care?
- Was it justified?
- What visa is she on?
IMO, only one of these answers is clear and the rest are highly speculative/personal (which is all good, and makes for really interesting discussion):
I think she is on an O1 visa, and that her move was planned well in advance and not dependent on her relationship with IG - she would have done it anyway whether they were together or not, and she wasn't reliant on him to do it. I've posted before on this but just for people who missed it / new joiners:
- The K visa (fiancée visa) is often seen as an 'easy' option, but it's not, and it can take months to go through. If they got together in August, it's extremely unlikely she would have applied for and received her K visa in 3 months. And I only use 'extremely unlikely' because I don't like the word 'impossible'.
- Even if they met earlier in the year, say Jan/Feb, it's still cutting it very fine and they would've had to decide to marry very shortly after first starting a relationship.
- Once in the US, BW would have 90 days to marry IG. Would they be so confident the divorce had gone through by then that they'd bet their future plans on it?
- Like someone else mentioned, would either of them either want to commit to being married so soon after such traumatic experiences?
So I think that leaves the O1. I've posted on it before so anyone interested can do a search but I won't rehash it all. It would be difficult to get, but I don't see any other option.
If it does emerge that she's on a K visa and marries IG within 90 days of arriving in the U.S., I would consider it strong evidence of an affair.
i'm disappointed. i expected them nastier. they are slackingYou can read Lin’s mind
They’re far too predictable
ETA: I’m sorry I put this under a spoiler but the image didn’t attach as one and I’m so confused by how this works…..mods please don’t be angry!
Sistah!That’s me third from left
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