With documents about Epstein and his black book about to be unsealed this month just a reminder about the alleged entry on page 43 ‘Olivier and Alice Picasso’
the belt buckle........ i die.......
Happy New Year!
I've just been filling in time, in anticipation of her first post of the year ...
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Can we add this to the wiki please?I've used my computer hacking skills AGAIN and have managed to steal ANOTHER chapter from Alice's forthcoming self-published book, "He Left Me For A Bogan".
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Chapter 15 – "Dupee and Display"
Life is so short and we never know what’s going to happen. Love trumps hate. Which is why I’ve spent the last three years waging war against Ioan, and latterly, the bogan.
I muse on this during my drive to Manhattan Beach, where I must go because the my narc ex, his EVIL lawyers and the CORRUPT judge have ordered me to see a forensic psychiatrist, Dr Dupee.
This is my third visit to see Dr Dupee. She might be triple-board certified, whatever that means, but I’m sure she’s not as intelligent as me. Because I am THE smartest person in the room.
I park my car, but I don’t pay for a ticket. Tickets are for common people like accountants and secretaries. Not international models and actresses like me.
I park where I want.
I park when I want.
NOBODY is going to stop me.
My appointment with Dr Dupee begins. My eyes glaze over as she starts to talk about something or the other. I put on my best wide-eyed ingenue expression, and start talking in the ‘baby’ talk voice that Ioan USED to love, until a bogan with a kinetic [redacted] bewitched him and stole him away from me.
My appointment is finally over, and I’m certain my facial expressions and baby voice fooled Dr Dupee. I am a seasoned actress and I can fool EVERYBODY if I want to. Dr Dupee is from the same place as the bogan is from, Brisbane. So far, my international network of Twitter supporters have not been able to uncover a connection between the two, but I will be keeping a close eye on this.
I walk back to my car, and notice a large inflatable Grinch dressed as Santa Claus in somebody’s front yard. I chuckle to myself. It provided some wonderful content for my Instagram a couple of weeks ago.
OMG! There’s a man hovering by my Prius. What does he want? As I get closer, I see he’s a parking enforcement officer.
“What the HELL are you doing?” I shout sweetly.
“Ma’am, you have parked here, but you do not have a ticket. I therefore need to issue you with a penalty”.
Jesus FUCKING Christ. No no no, I am NOT going to be given a parking fine for simply parking where I deserve. Thank goodness I’m wearing my Special Arguing Coat. It provides me with protection against bullies and narcs. It imbues me with the courage and fearlessness to fight all the injustices that happen to me. It helps me to be kind and to trump hate with love.
“I have a sick child in the car!” I exclaim.
“Ma’am, there’s nobody in your car. Except maybe a rat, as I can see what looks like droppings and a chewed-up Cheestring wrapper,” he says.
Fuck! That’s my usual excuse thrown out of the window. I forgot Gloria was looking after my babies again. What can I use instead?
“My husband left me for a bogan…”
The parking enforcement officer looks surprised, and a little embarrassed.
“…and I’m 50-80% bed bound”.
“I’m very sorry to hear that ma’am, and you have my sympathies, but I am still going to have to issue you with the penalty,” he says.
What the fuck. What the FUCK. How dare he patronize me by saying "sorry", and that I have his sympathies? I have a flashback to the asinine "thank you" thing Ioan learned from his mother.
“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR TINY MIND?!” I say calmly.
“No ma’am, I am not out of my tiny mind. I need you to calm down," he says.
Nobody has ever seen me be unkind to a person unprovoked. Because I’ve never ever done it. Not in my entire life.
“Don’t you fucking DARE tell me what to do!” I say serenely, while stomping up closer the officer so I can get a better look at him.
“Ma’am, please do not come any closer to me,” he says in a panicked voice. I am not sure why he feels he needs to use that tone of voice with me. People who provoke others deserve to get shouted at.
“Fucking rip up that ticket now, or I will RAISE HELL!” I say, in a tranquil manner.
At this point, for some unfathomable reason, he gets out his iPhone 11 (crap model, the iPhone 15 Pro Max is where it’s at, or whatever the latest iPhone model is that Apple have released by the time this book is printed) and starts filming me. This shatters my cool and collected demeanour.
“How DARE you film me! Have you lost your fucking mind?”
As I shout at the officer, because I only abuse people who deserve it, I wonder - is this going to be on TMZ later? I hope so, as it will provide a wonderful bonding experience for me and my babies to read about ANOTHER automobile incident I’m involved in. I am very proud of the existing video on TMZ and so are my kids. They ask to see it again and again.
Everybody knows I am the best mother in the world. I have done everything I can to do right by those two amazing girls. They don't need a father; they don't need any uncles or aunts (apart from ONE uncle on my side); they don't need grandparents. They don't need a private life away from the tabloids. All they need is ME, and my zany antics. They have such fun with me, like the shenanigans that happen when I drive them places. With Ioan, they don't have had any fun when he drives, because he goes silent so he can "concentrate on his driving". What kind of a parent does that? A boring parent, that's who.
The same diagnosis is not putting people on the "same category" in terms of what they’ve been through, it categorises the symptoms they manifest due to traumatic experiences thus rendering certain treatments more suitable/ appropriate/ helpful.No, I don't think she's lying. I expect she has been given that diagnosis. I just think that diagnoses go through phases of fashion. Like ADHD at the moment, cyclothymia, eupd. I've been through things listed here,, including sustained domestic violence, and I wouldn't put myself in the same category as those who have been tortured, enslaved, or forced into prostitution. But I also wouldn't post about it publicly under my real name. I think I'm just not in tune with what passes for normal in some circles.
OK, I’m gonna go against the grain here. That outfit is fucking hideous cheap trash with the kind of bow you’d all be howling about if Alice adorned it.View attachment 2663100
I'm sorry Bianca has cptsd, but girl is still working it.
She's posting the name of her outfit on Instagram and she could be so much worse (or antagonizing) to Alice. She posted a very tasteful selfie for new year but this is what she was rocking.
A romper. Ahem.
We’d laugh our asses off if alice wore that or if she wore 90% of Bianca’s clothes because she’d look an absolute sight. But then she seems quite keen to look an absolute sight most of the time anyway.OK, I’m gonna go against the grain here. That outfit is fucking hideous cheap trash with the kind of bow you’d all be howling about if Alice adorned it.
Bianca has lovely bronzed slim legs, but Carine Rotfield she ain’t in terms of dress. In a way it’s kind of refreshing that she’s not blowing $$$ on Rodeo Drive frocks to be worn once - but let’s not pretend that outfit radiates style.
I admire the way she’s happy to wear regular priced stuff - especially if it’s true that her family are old skool money - but yeh, that is bloody awful. Like I say, if Alice turned up n gingham with a big bow on you’d be laughing. In fact I seem to recall pink gingham with bows at some photo op she had.
This pic still kills me. Why has she tucked her scarf into her belt?! I have so many genuine questions about her fashion choices
Brilliant, but did Alice steal the Starbucks uniform?
Happy New Year!
I've just been filling in time, in anticipation of her first post of the year ...
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I love the way Alice is pouting for the camera/pap. She really thinks she looks the business and the scarf cleverly hides her belly. lmaoThis pic still kills me. Why has she tucked her scarf into her belt?! I have so many genuine questions about her fashion choices
I thought the same - he’d have clocked the bow and immediately looked down to see if she’d tied her shoes up with leftover present wrapping.I'm not a fan of the outfit either but hey ho, normally I think she dresses very well. She obviously felt good in it but I do wonder if Ioan was slightly startled by the bow.
I’ve just noticed thatthe belt buckle........ i die.......
The bumper stickersI’ve just noticed that
This is where Alice could have helped herself and spent money on a stylist!This pic still kills me. Why has she tucked her scarf into her belt?! I have so many genuine questions about her fashion choices
I'm very much not a bow person but at least you can see why this outfit has a bow on it. Alice's special ability was adding a bow(s) where it just looked like you'd added it when you were drunk, and possibly blindfolded.I thought the same - he’d have clocked the bow and immediately looked down to see if she’d tied her shoes up with leftover present wrapping.Poor man probably DOES have PTSD after seeing Bianca in that.
OMG....the ankle tag, the rat, the car stickers...everything basically
Happy New Year!
I've just been filling in time, in anticipation of her first post of the year ...
View attachment 2663157
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