“Scene With Potatoes (still life)” … aka Alice’s Thanksgiving.
“Scene With Potatoes (still life)” … aka Alice’s Thanksgiving.View attachment 1752423
This is familiar, no?
Will the Abuser get any benefits if she hasn’t paid her taxes and NI here?AE would just do flit to the UK and live off welfare. Ioan won't get a penny out of her.
That’s what I mean about tacitly consenting to his own abuse, at that point, he should have told her to shut up.Here's the clip of AE being an arsehole for those who didn't see it.
Also I watched bits of this on the BBC iplayer. https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p0dd9bc4/cyngerdd-cymru-ir-byd
Why didn't they get Yo to sing? A duet with Bryn would have been lovely. Instead there were some pretty average singers.
Seriously? Blame the victim? She emasculated him. Sorry, get stuffed.That’s what I mean about tacitly consenting to his own abuse, at that point, he should have told her to shut up.
Please don't think that you have upset me in anyway, that is bad and it's has nothing to do with autism, in my eyes. I think you are incredibly brave to share this story. I'm upset for you, for what a kind person has been put through. So please do think you've upset me, in a bad way. I'm quite an emotional/heart on sleeve person. I think that anyone will feel for you, and they are right to do so.Bless you - I wasn’t the mother of his child, though: that was the one he had impregnated four years before, expected me to welcome her, had her round to stay, got up in the middle of the night, and shagged just feet away from sleeping me. I wanted my own children at the time but he denied me that while demanding I take care of this woman’s daughter (and cope with the woman’s endless demands and tantrums). It ‘should have been enough’ for me, apparently. It was more the fact that he deliberately accommodated this woman’s needs ahead of mine to the extent he would harrass me by phone/text at the Breast Clinic that was my breaking point. And the look of disappointment on his face when he found out I was going to live - I’ll never forget that!
It’s too late for me to have children now, and perhaps that’s a good thing. I did really adore that little girl, though. I wish she could have been mine, though he denigrated the relationship I had with her; I loved her and she loved me. A lifelong connection just - lost. It’s sad.
PS I’m so sorry to have upset you. His behaviour became so normalised for five years that I sometimes don’t appreciate how devastating it was. Bless you. Xx
ETA I’m so, so sorry that I distressed you. I perhaps just present things in such a blasé manner but don’t appreciate that the retelling of such events can emotionally injure others. I’m terribly sorry to have inflicted this on you and will ask my autism support group what is appropriate to share. I really am sorry.
Nah. That’s just someone getting excited about sports.You know what I just thought… and I may be totally wring here, because I dont know anybody who is very passionate about football so may be it’s normal behaviour… but still: to me his reaction there is excessive and over the top, especially for someone who seems so mild (not that im saying he shouldbt care so much about the goal, he just yells and reacts a bit - well, almost hysterically?) So Im wondering if it’s because he was so haunted by her and so unhappy and so continuously suppressing so many emotions and unhappiness and that was the only outlet? Like you know sometimes people scream in a pillow or go yell from the mountain top or something.. and yes it would be a bit frightening for the kid. And yes the vile cow knew he was going to let the steam off and totally manipulated the kid. But also how terribly sad and hollow eyed he looks. This man lived in hell for years, we are all saying it and Im saying it again! It was not a perfect happy family, it was hell!!!
I do know that my partner goes FUCKING NUTS when watching football, to the point of being in pubs and some landlords telling him to leave or shut up (especially if it's a family pub). It could be a bit of both.You know what I just thought… and I may be totally wring here, because I dont know anybody who is very passionate about football so may be it’s normal behaviour… but still: to me his reaction there is excessive and over the top, especially for someone who seems so mild (not that im saying he shouldbt care so much about the goal, he just yells and reacts a bit - well, almost hysterically?) So Im wondering if it’s because he was so haunted by her and so unhappy and so continuously suppressing so many emotions and unhappiness and that was the only outlet? Like you know sometimes people scream in a pillow or go yell from the mountain top or something.. and yes it would be a bit frightening for the kid. And yes the vile cow knew he was going to let the steam off and totally manipulated the kid. But also how terribly sad and hollow eyed he looks. This man lived in hell for years, we are all saying it and Im saying it again! It was not a perfect happy family, it was hell!!!
Similar with Scottish. I'll be using a Simon Howie veggie black pudding.If that skank ever turns around and claims Irish blood, I will personally be on the next flight to LA to slap her with a (vegan) Clonakilty black pudding.
That’s not how it works in a long-term abusive relationship. You can’t tell the abuser to shut up (or fight back) because you know it will make things exponentially worse for you. He lived with her for years. He knew how bad it could get.That’s what I mean about tacitly consenting to his own abuse, at that point, he should have told her to shut up.
Me too!!!Missing @claudiarocks!
Again, the abuse like this does not happen overnight. If your partner suddenly did something like this yes, telling them to get stuffed would be natural reaction. However this situation occurred after years and years of slow cunning manipulation, increasing the pressure more and more until the victim had no will left and blame themselves for everything. Seriously, please read up on emotional manipulation and abuse!That’s what I mean about tacitly consenting to his own abuse, at that point, he should have told her to shut up.
That was after almost 2 decades of her abuse too. It wasn't like the first time.That’s what I mean about tacitly consenting to his own abuse, at that point, he should have told her to shut up.
which would have been used by her as him abusing her: the optics of a men yelling at a football match then also yelling at his wife are not very pretty.That’s what I mean about tacitly consenting to his own abuse, at that point, he should have told her to shut up.
this is entirely normal across all menYou know what I just thought… and I may be totally wring here, because I dont know anybody who is very passionate about football so may be it’s normal behaviour… but still: to me his reaction there is excessive and over the top, especially for someone who seems so mild (not that im saying he shouldbt care so much about the goal, he just yells and reacts a bit - well, almost hysterically?) So Im wondering if it’s because he was so haunted by her and so unhappy and so continuously suppressing so many emotions and unhappiness and that was the only outlet? Like you know sometimes people scream in a pillow or go yell from the mountain top or something.. and yes it would be a bit frightening for the kid. And yes the vile cow knew he was going to let the steam off and totally manipulated the kid. But also how terribly sad and hollow eyed he looks. This man lived in hell for years, we are all saying it and Im saying it again! It was not a perfect happy family, it was hell!!!
If you know someone who has been long-term emotionally abused and fearful, you're just doing that to keep the peace (you're under even more stress to try and stay responsible / protective when there's children around). I really don't think it's fair to blame Ioan.That’s what I mean about tacitly consenting to his own abuse, at that point, he should have told her to shut up.
Im scared!Nah. That’s just someone getting excited about sports.
Warm hug received and reciprocated. We’ve both survived the impossible and emerged not unscathed, but a hell of a lot stronger and wiser. I’m so glad that I didn’t upset you too greatly - I’ve been in agonies for the last twenty minutes and was so afraid that I’d overloaded you with an incredible and unwarranted emotional burden. I will be much more careful in the way I present things in future.Please don't think that you have upset me in anyway, that is bad and it's has nothing to do with autism, in my eyes. I think you are incredibly brave to share this story. I'm upset for you, for what a kind person has been put through. So please do think you've upset me, in a bad way. I'm quite an emotional/heart on sleeve person. I think that anyone will feel for you, and they are right to do so.
What you have endured, you are a true warrior!
Again, please don't think that you was wrong in sharing, it's a very emotional story and I thank you for sharing it with us.
I still wanna give you a huge hug
Not all, come onwhich would have been used by her as him abusing her: the optics of a men yelling at a football match then also yelling at his wife are not very pretty.
this is entirely normal across all men
Yep, and Brit ex-pats have great little communities. All these years later and she’s more alone than ever. It’s very telling isn’t it.I find that fascinating. She's at an age where she should have a few longtime friends there. First, she said she didn't in LA. Which I found odd, given that she had been in LA for a very long time. Then she said she has lots of friends there. Also, as a mother of young, school-age girls, you would have developed friendships that way. Not our Alice. In reality, she should have several invites. But no one wants to deal with Alice.
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