Oh, I totally agree - even if they don’t think Ioan and/or Bianca are spotless, it’s ridiculous to even try to compare their conduct with Alice’s. As you say in the BIB, it’s easier for people to tell themselves that they only got SOME of it wrong than to admit they got it all totally wrong. (To be clear: I was speculating as to why they won’t apologise - I do not, however, share or empathise with their views!)well, that would be an okay opinion to have. Though holding cheating without any evidence against you is cheap. Even more expecting a third party that is already very restrained to stop her life completely just to appease an abuser.
There are some factors you could hold against Ioan (though its a very difficult divorce against a monster), but he pales in comparison to Alice no matter how many things you assume about him
I guess it's also pretty hard to admit that you were wrong, so "both are tit" is easier to handle mentally for some.