Invited to birthday party but there's a catch 🙄

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Giggling Squid

It sounds to me like she’s very nervous about COVID. I’ve a friend who is similar, she will have people round, but always uses disposable plates and cutlery. We tend to get takeaway when we’re at hers because she’s more comfortable with that than with sharing food/making people bring their own. She also likes people to LFT beforehand.

she’s struggled a lot through lockdowns, and I do t think many people know this- so to them it prob is quite excessive but it’s what she needs to do to make herself feel safe. Perhaps this is a similar situation - or someone she’s invited is nervous or vulnerable so she’s doing this to make sure they’re safe
 
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Meangirl815

I'm imagining a queue of people all lined up with their cooler boxes of burgers and sausages
Furious at someone who got parked 30 secs before you so are 3 ahead in the queue

Sorry not helpful at all but it has made me laugh
 
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Bitofthebubbly

Meangirl815 said:
I'm imagining a queue of people all lined up with their cooler boxes of burgers and sausages
Furious at someone who got parked 30 secs before you so are 3 ahead in the queue

Sorry not helpful at all but it has made me laugh
Click to expand...
I’d bring my own disposable bbq to avoid the queues. I mean I’ve got my own food so I may as well at this point
 
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MaryX82

Has your friend asked you to bring the charcoal too?Ridiculous person
 
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LucilleP

I agree that the food thing is very odd to suggest. Fair enough if this was a group decision to host something and everyone wanted to chip in but telling people to essentially provide the catering for her party is taking liberties. I’d never turn up to a party or BBQ empty handed and I’m sure most people are the same so she could have suggested something like a mixer.
I went to a party not long ago which was outdoors. At the time my age bracket hadn’t started the jabs so the host suggested that if anyone wanted to do a lateral flow then it would be appreciated but no pressure if you didn’t want to do one.
 
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Deepsigh2018

I wouldn't have a problem with taking the lft or bringing a dish but I have been to many parties where we all bring a dish but it is usually decided beforehand who is bringing what so that there isn't multiples of things.
 
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lemonlime

They should just arrange a zoom drinks event and call it a day. I totally understand being cautious or anxious about crowds or Covid but the solution isn't this. Simply don't throw a party? That's what I'd do anyway but if I did decide to have people over, I can't imagine asking them to bring their entire meal with them, that's so odd. If you are the host, then be the host. If you can't afford it or if you don't want to take the responsibility, then don't bother. It's not an obligation. I'm not bothered about the LFT, I don't think it's a bad idea but the food thing is a stretch and having to arrange that for something that isn't mandatory is a faff tbh.
 
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Scorpihoe

Can’t imagine attending a party and bringing my own food lol…might as well eat my own food at home
 
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glitter tits

The food thing is strange - if you’re hosting then you provide the food and it’s a bonus if guests bring anything. In my friendship group we naturally take turns hosting things so it’s just swings and roundabouts.

i do think you’re being unreasonable about the LFT though. I understand you are double jabbed but others might not be (not talking about antivaxxers but younger people who might not have been offered both doses yet) so it’s a bit selfish for you not to do one or to use the fact that you’re double jabbed as a reason not to do one because you could still pass it on. Obviously we haven’t seen the tone of the message the request was made but I do think it’s a totally reasonable request. I’m not very anxious about covid at all but I’d happily do a LFT to try and eliminate the risk of unknowingly passing it on!
 
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CatVonMe

Like someone mentioned above, if it’s a group decision to have a BBQ and you’re happy to host then yeh, everyone chip in or bring something. But a birthday bbq that you’re inviting everyone too.. hell no.
BYOB is fine because I wouldn’t expect someone else to pick up the tab for my drinking.. by all means hosts could provide a few bottles of beer or Prosecco or something to start but I wouldn’t show up expecting others to supply my alcohol for the night.
 
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Base2019

Just wanted to say thank you for being so compassionate towards others. I think it’s so lovely to see. I’m only starting to socialise again after having treatment during lockdown and it’s so nice to see that some lovely people do understand and like you say about your friends, to look at them you would never know! People say the same about me. We really never know what others are going through!

OP, you sound like you don’t want to go so I’d just leave it. You sound like your not going to enjoy yourself if you do go so that’s all you need to know.
 
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Tinkerbell cat

OP I would just say thanks for the invite but something has came up and I can't attend. I think the food thing is a bit strange, It would be a no from me. Just seems like so much effort for a bbq.
 
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Kim Mild

Tinkerbell cat said:
OP I would just say thanks for the invite but something has came up and I can't attend. I think the food thing is a bit strange, It would be a no from me. Just seems like so much effort for a bbq.
Click to expand...
Although, it's quite common for people to bring something like a pack of sausages and some buns in case the host isn't very generous with what they have provided. (You can tell we've been to a barbecue where there hasn't been enough for everyone ha )
 
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Tinkerbell cat

yeah I would bring some sausages, burger baps or a box of beer but think I would draw the line at a starter, main desert, side and whatever else the OP had said The last BBQ we had my mum messaged me about an hour before asking did we need her to bring anything and I requested could she pick up some paper or plastic plates as we didn't have enough, and some relish, we always make TOO much food and end up eating BBQ food for the next2 days haha.
 
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blossombloss

Don't go, it seems like you don't want to.

The bringing my own main side etc is enough to make me not want to go!! If you're hosting you gotta host!! If money is tight she could have asked for a kitty to buy stuff, but why on earth am I bringing my own fucking food for someone else to cook? You could just eat at home! Like you said, you bring stuff when you go but I bring like a fancy extra or a drink, not my meal!

I think the lateral test is fine, but if you don't want to do it, don't go. Just in the same way that if she wants people to attend they have to take the test. I would say it's just for her peace of mind because I know people taking the test who have been getting a negative result but still having covid, but I think it's important to respect people's wishes on these things if they are inviting you to their house. You have the option to not go if you don't want to do these things. In all honesty the food situation is enough to make me not even go!
 
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hiya_hun

I think the list is cheeky.

If I hosted a bbq I would provide most of the stuff and just say bring anything specific you want for yourself based on either just your own tastes or dietary requirements or whatever.

I think if they’re so worried they are asking you to do a lateral flow then they probably shouldn’t be hosting a get together - especially with people that don’t all know eachother anyway.

Maybe just say a day or two before you’ve had a notification to isolate
 
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Facehugger

I think it's more the fact you've been TOLD you've got to do a LFT if you want to attend & like you say, in a social setting with people you don't know is a bit odd. Why can't you do a test at home beforehand & log your result so you get the NHS text you can show her when you get there? I'd not be sticking bloody swabs down my throat poking about & gipping in front of strangers either.

The food thing is ridiculous, if she's having a party she should be catering for you, how rude. Fine to take any extras you want & your drink.

My biggest thing would be the fact she'd given out my number to strangers without my permission. That's not on, I'd be really cross. So all ways round I'd say you need to stop at home and save yourself all the hassle
 
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Blue pumpkin

I can see the LFT becoming a normal thing for some in terms of managing risks. She may be inviting elderly people or people with existing medical health conditions however that aside, I just can't stand how everything is so overly complicated these days with parties/hen do's/birthdays invites where you get a list of 'instructions' and 'demands' . It's takes the fun out of everything.

The food and drink thing is cheeky though. If people turn up to mine with booze or a box of chocs or krispy cremes then fine but I wouldn't dream of specifically asking them to provide/bring food and drink ...but food especially is a no from me if I'm hosting.
There's always a heightened risk of food poisioning at bbq's so I would be nervous about feeding my guests food that other people have prepared whether its cooked or uncooked. That's a massive alarm bell for me. I wouldn't be comfortable with that at all.

Just tell her you can't make it because you, or someone you live with has symptoms.
 
Reactions: 2
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