Invited to birthday party but there's a catch 🙄

[TaylorMomsen]

So she's said go to her house to have a party, but if you want to eat or drink you've got being your own stuff? Did she ask guests to bring their own toilet roll if they want to wipe their arse too?

I regularly throw parties, if my guests ask if they need to bring anything I say no, but if you really want to the just bring a bottle of mixer. If you're being the host you're meant to provide everything in my opinion!

 

[MaryX82]

Very simple I’m no longer available to attend your bday bbq.Exit group chat

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

I’d be telling her to shove her party. Ridiculous. Like you say if you’re that worried about covid, don’t host a party during a pandemic. They’re going on like they’re a social club or something and it’s a bit pretentious.

 

[Inforapenny]

Right this is a partial vent/partial am I being a tad precious?

A few weeks back my friend invited me to her bday party. I said great, I'm free and looking forward to it. It's a BBQ at hers so I asked, because this is what you, do you want us to bring.
Now when I'm invited to BBQ etc I of course bring stuff. We actually had a BBQ recently and although our friends brought stuff we wanted to put on a spread for them as they're our guests and we are hosts so didn't assume ppl would bring all the food/drink.

Anyway fast forward to today. I've just received a group message from my friend with a long list of requirements and instructions for the day and it's got my back up and irritated me but I don't know quite why.

Firstly I'm now in a big WhatsApp group with randoms who can see me and my number. I find this intrusive.

Amongst The instructions are very detailed and we've been told if we want food/drink to bring a main, a side and our own drinks.

We've also been instructed that we must take a lateral flow test before we're allowed to attend.

This is where I get irritated, I feel like I'm at school or work! I don't like this idea of being told to do this in a social setting with friends. I'm double jabbed and appreciate the reason but If you're uncomfortable with mixing then don't organise a party during a pandemic, surely.

I know it's common sense BUT maybe it's the way we've been instructed.
If my friend had said in the initial invite I will expect you to take lateral flow test and be up front I'd know where I stand.

It's put me right off! I think it's the forced, most teacher type instructions and expectations that we have to do this.

I know there is logic to the test but I feel it's cheeky and not how you treat adults in a social setting and to tell us to bring a main, side and drinks again.....idk I just wouldn't dream of doing this.
I know ppl would bring stuff but wouldn't instruct them.

Rant over.

 

[WilmaHun]

You can't drop a thread like this and then not let us know the outcome

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

I’m learning so much about the OP from her recent activity … a hate for nude wedding dresses, a love for smoothies, an interest in adult ADHD, a great dislike of Gordon Ramsay and the fact she had a small wedding … but why no update on the party of the year

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

Omg OP hasn't posted on tattle since that day??!!
This is now a mystery I'm deeply into lol. Was the dilemma of the BBQ so worrying that she had to cease all connection with the world?

Maybe she went and didn’t take a main course so they BBQ’d her? RIP OP

 

[Blonde123]

So she's providing the venue that's it and I assume they will be someone on the door to see if we've done our lateral flow test


I have to disagree. You don't tend to message a group of ppl you invite to your birthday and expect ppl to bring their own main, side and drinks.
When you host you put food on and if ppl bring stuff it's a bonus.
Parties/BBQ don't need to be organised like it's a school disco.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this is cheeky.

It's a pass from me.


Totally agree.

Can I just on this. I’ve recently been invited to two children’s parties (with my kids, I’m not a weirdo!) One at a farm and one at soft play. Now I have to pay for me and my kids to attend both of these events, the farm will cost £65 for all of us to go. On top of that we will have to buy food there and we will be expected to bring a present. In my eyes this isn’t a party, it’s the mums way of avoiding a party. I get everyone cant afford big dos, but surely just a pass the parcel and musical statues in a garden can be done on the cheap. Is this the new way of children’s parties?! At £65 a pop just got entry my kids won’t be going!

 

[Apple In My Pie]

Perhaps it was a reverse and the OP wanted to throw a party and lateral flow test the guests/make sure the guests brought food and was using this thread to judge the responses

 

[LennyBriscoe]

“PM you hun xxxx”

“Not speaking about it in here babe, z everywhere. But it’s just me and my kids from now on”

 

[Inforapenny]

So she's providing the venue that's it and I assume they will be someone on the door to see if we've done our lateral flow test

I think it's somewhat normal to ask people what to bring tbh. Makes it all a bit more organised and there's no risk of people bringing the same thing. Presumably the hosts will also be supplying stuff

I think as long as everything is fairly, or seems to be fairly, priced it's fine

I have to disagree. You don't tend to message a group of ppl you invite to your birthday and expect ppl to bring their own main, side and drinks.
When you host you put food on and if ppl bring stuff it's a bonus.
Parties/BBQ don't need to be organised like it's a school disco.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this is cheeky.

It's a pass from me.

So she's said go to her house to have a party, but if you want to eat or drink you've got being your own stuff? Did she ask guests to bring their own toilet roll if they want to wipe their arse too?

I regularly throw parties, if my guests ask if they need to bring anything I say no, but if you really want to the just bring a bottle of mixer. If you're being the host you're meant to provide everything in my opinion!

Totally agree.

 

[Treesy19]

I think the lateral flows are a good idea, whether you feel annoyed by her asking or not. We don’t know what other conversations she’s had with others wanting to go e.g maybe there is someone going who, for the first time ever since the pandemic is socialising and they’re understandably very very anxious. We don’t know what other strangers are going through. I know several people with blood cancer atm and to look at them you’d never know. With everybody going having done a neg lateral flow that massively eases someone’s nerves and anxiety.

As for the food instructions - now that’s cheeky the way it has been done! When we host a BBQ we lay it on ourselves and if guests say what shall we bring we usually say just yourself thanks! Or usually a few will insist on bringing something they’ve made to add to the food buffet! Her demands on the food front are a little annoying yes. Digging further though maybe she’s hard up but at the same time desperate to see all of her friends. Is she like this usually?

 

[bellinibobble]

I’ve been to a party today, did a lateral flow test without a second thought. The food thing is weird though.. if someone invited me to a bbq I wouldn’t be turning up with my own three courses Would expect them to cater and bring some drinks with me

 

[Giggling Squid]

Curveball… she was actually the host.

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

I'm imagining a queue of people all lined up with their cooler boxes of burgers and sausages
Furious at someone who got parked 30 secs before you so are 3 ahead in the queue

Sorry not helpful at all but it has made me laugh

I’d bring my own disposable bbq to avoid the queues. I mean I’ve got my own food so I may as well at this point

 

[Inforapenny]

Clearly you don't want to go so don't go.

It's a bit pathetic to moan about somebody wanting you to take a test before going to her house. Her house, her rules. If you want to throw a party where nobody has to take LFT then do that.

I'm not pathetic but if you feel that strongly.
I was looking for opinions on the situation and asked if I was being a bit precious - which some people have said yeah they think I am which is fine. Especially about the LFT but to come on here and say someone is pathetic....meow.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Clearly you don't want to go so don't go.

It's a bit pathetic to moan about somebody wanting you to take a test before going to her house. Her house, her rules. If you want to throw a party where nobody has to take LFT then do that.

 

[Merpedy]

Hm, the tests could be for the comfort of other people at the party also

 

[Kim Mild]

Is the food you bring just for you or to share with the other guests?

I would be tempted to eat a meal beforehand and turn up empty handed and tell her you've already eaten .

 

[blossombloss]

Omg OP hasn't posted on tattle since that day??!!
This is now a mystery I'm deeply into lol. Was the dilemma of the BBQ so worrying that she had to cease all connection with the world?