I gave this a little more thought and it sounds like something isn’t right in this situation. Maybe check in with her and see if everything’s okay? I would still plan to eat ahead of time but offer to bring brownies (not “that” type!) to mark the occasion that it’s her birthday.Agreed, takes the stress off of going. She clearly just wants people to show up and doesn’t want to be bothered with food - you don’t have to shoulder that burden.
Excellent answer!!Very simple I’m no longer available to attend your bday bbq.Exit group chat
I was out at the ‘bring your own food’ bit - I’m inviting you to a barbecue, which indicates eating, but if you want to eat you have to bring your own food? And then what, do you all queue up and take your turn to cook your food?Right this is a partial vent/partial am I being a tad precious?
A few weeks back my friend invited me to her bday party. I said great, I'm free and looking forward to it. It's a BBQ at hers so I asked, because this is what you, do you want us to bring.
Now when I'm invited to BBQ etc I of course bring stuff. We actually had a BBQ recently and although our friends brought stuff we wanted to put on a spread for them as they're our guests and we are hosts so didn't assume ppl would bring all the food/drink.
Anyway fast forward to today. I've just received a group message from my friend with a long list of requirements and instructions for the dayand it's got my back up and irritated me but I don't know quite why.
Firstly I'm now in a big WhatsApp group with randoms who can see me and my number. I find this intrusive.
Amongst The instructions are very detailed and we've been told if we want food/drink to bring a main, a side and our own drinks.
We've also been instructed that we must take a lateral flow test before we're allowed to attend.
This is where I get irritated, I feel like I'm at school or work! I don't like this idea of being told to do this in a social setting with friends. I'm double jabbed and appreciate the reason but If you're uncomfortable with mixing then don't organise a party during a pandemic, surely.
I know it's common sense BUT maybe it's the way we've been instructed.
If my friend had said in the initial invite I will expect you to take lateral flow test and be up front I'd know where I stand.
It's put me right off! I think it's the forced, most teacher type instructions and expectations that we have to do this.
I know there is logic to the test but I feel it's cheeky and not how you treat adults in a social setting and to tell us to bring a main, side and drinks again.....idk I just wouldn't dream of doing this.
I know ppl would bring stuff but wouldn't instruct them.
Rant over.
Obviously the OP will know if this is a possibility and I’m maybe doing the friend a disservice but I don’t think unreasonable or demanding behaviour can always be attributed to some sort of mental health issue - apologies if that’s not what you were meaning in your post but some folk are just like that.I gave this a little more thought and it sounds like something isn’t right in this situation. Maybe check in with her and see if everything’s okay? I would still plan to eat ahead of time but offer to bring brownies (not “that” type!) to mark the occasion that it’s her birthday.
I wouldn’t object to the LFT but it seems like it was more a matter of phrasing. It sounds annoying. If you like her generally I’d reach out to speak to her one on one.
We've always called it a Jacobs Join. Which is fine if it's a buffet and you know from the start what the deal is. Not in this situation though!!We call that a contribution lunch where I'm from
Do you need to bring your own utensils, plates etc?I want to know if everyone is expected to bbq their own foodimagine if you were back of the queue with your bangers.. I’d be fuming
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