I'm thinking about charging friends and family to come to ours for Christmas - thoughts please

[Dak1988]

I’d love to know what happened

 

[alliwantistruth]

I've spent too much time on the Mumsnet thread I thought this was from there

 

[Oohthedrama]

I’m thinking of paying people to duck all the way off this Christmas.

upgraded thread.

 

[fishyfishfish]

This has got to be the best thread on tattle. May it live forever.

I'm hosting Christmas at my mother's this year (we wanted to host but can't due to factors), might send her the bill as I'm basically her personal chef?

You'll all be pleased to hear that, whilst I'm making many things, a grazing board is not bleeping one of them.

 

[Oohthedrama]

bleeping grazing board…..grazing board.
(But remember the original poster was offering the peasants a grazing TABLE at the cost of 2grand a head. You get one free lap of the pool with that)

while I’m telling grazing boards to duck off, duck all the way off, double back and duck off again with “pigs in blankets”
stop that tit right now,
if they’re sausage rolls in March when I’m freezing my tits off waiting for the next holiday where I eat my body weight in refined sugar - Easter
they’re bleeping sausage rolls in December you festive cunts.
Don’t try and make sausage meat and pastry cute and festive, as I said stop that tit right now.

I’d be so pissed if I was hosting dinner and a family member rocked up thinking I was the family’s drive thru.
I’m literally the grinch with less body hair. I will only feed you if you have four legs and run after a ball when I throw it.

really excited for Christmas this year.
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I've spent too much time on the Mumsnet thread I thought this was from there

I feel like mumsnet would suggest breastfeeding all family members before co-sleeping until new years or something progressive and therapy inducing like that.
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I know it's ages away, but we are hosting Christmas this year and I have to start planning now.

In the past, we've mostly gone to one of my SiL's as she has lots of kids and had a large house at the time; but now she's moved into a smaller house and her kids have flown the nest. When we went there, we'd always take something(s) for entree, main, dessert and drinks - as would mostly everyone else (the odd person might turn up with a packet of biscuits, which they wouldn't touch in favour of chowing down on everything everyone else had brought) ... so it was a bit of a pot luck style.

A couple of years ago, we hosted everyone at ours and people didn't really bring a lot - even though we said we'd do the same thing as we'd often done in the past. We had heaps of food and drinks on hand 'just in case' (and to last us through the holidays), and we ended up using the lot on Christmas day. It was also really stressful as we found ourselves pretty much stuck in the kitchen or at the BBQ all the time as nobody helped with anything (it was bizarre).

This year, with us hosting, I am thinking of getting a grazing table company in. I've been quoted $2,500 for everything (including food, drinks, the table itself, a marquee, chairs, crockery, utensils, glasses, etc.). They not only come and set everything up, but they return later that night and take it all away (dirty dishes and all). The only thing we'll have to do is pass plates along, and fill our guests' glasses.

In more recent times when we've gone to my SiL's, we've easily spent $500 on all the stuff we've taken - and there's just two of us. At a guess, I'd say most of the other people have spent similar amounts - especially my other SiL who has kids. When we hosted a couple of years ago, we probably spent well over $800 for everything (I'm in NZ, where the cost of living is ridiculously high).

So, I'm thinking of going for the grazing table option, and charging a per head amount to attend. What do you guys think of this - would you be offended if someone asked you to do this? I floated the idea to my golfing buddies who all thought it was a great idea and said they'd happily pay it if they were invited (which one or two of them will be, as they're alone at Christmas). There will be about 30 people in total ... and of those, 10 are under the age of 21. $2,500 / 30 = $83.33, but it wouldn't be fair to charge the kids that - so maybe the adults $100 each, and the kids $50 each. But what do I do about people who don't drink alcohol or aren't working?

Then there's also the issue of using our pool - its chemicals cost a fortune, as does the water to fill it (we have to get a special water truck in each year to do that, which costs just over $2k) ... should I make the pool off-limits to all (which seems a bit mean), or just charge the adults $110 each and the kids $60 each to allow for that? Not all the kids will swim, and not all the adults will swim. But if there is an 'accident' in the pool (as there was by one of the kids one year when they were visiting [nobody would admit to it]), the whole thing will have to be emptied and re-filled at a later date. This *might* not happen, but if it does, then the extra money would help.

I appreciate this probably sounds a bit mean-spirited to some people (especially the bit about the pool), but we always end up feeling like we're subsidising everyone else at Christmas by the time we buy all the kids gifts and all the extra food, etc. (Adults don't get gifts, so we never benefit in that regard). We're not wealthy by any means, and spend the rest of the year being really careful with money. I'm trying to think of a way to make Christmas far less stressful than it has been in the past.

Jesus I forgot how good this post was, how did I miss “I’ve floated the idea to my golfing buddy’s” first time around.
But my favourite paragraph, possibly of all time or at least until next week.

should I make the pool off-limits to all (which seems a bit mean), or just charge the adults $110 each and the kids $60 each to allow for that? Not all the kids will swim, and not all the adults will swim. But if there is an 'accident' in the pool (as there was by one of the kids one year when they were visiting [nobody would admit to it]), the whole thing will have to be emptied and re-filled at a later date. This *might* not happen, but if it does, then the extra money would help.

Bet the golfing buddy’s all got together on New Year’s Eve, climbed over their gated fence and pissed in the pool.

 

[knivesnflowers]

while I’m telling grazing boards to duck off, duck all the way off, double back and duck off again with “pigs in blankets”
stop that tit right now,
if they’re sausage rolls in March when I’m freezing my tits off waiting for the next holiday where I eat my body weight in refined sugar - Easter
they’re bleeping sausage rolls in December you festive cunts.
Don’t try and make sausage meat and pastry cute and festive, as I said stop that tit right now.

but pigs in blankets are sausages wrapped in bacon, sausage rolls are sausage meat in pastry
our house is so inclusive bc at xmas we eat both

also wondered what happened to this poster but now assuming you banned them out of pure spite

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

but pigs in blankets are sausages wrapped in bacon, sausage rolls are sausage meat in pastry
our house is so inclusive bc at xmas we eat both

also wondered what happened to this poster but now assuming you banned them out of pure spite

I'm with you. I don't discriminate against any food during the Festive period. It can all "get in mae belly"

 

[Oohthedrama]

assuming you banned them out of pure spite

na, I just pissed in their swimming pool, but I paid the admission fee first and brought my own mini rolls, festive edition.

you kidding I’d love them to come back, I bet it’s triple the price this year.
I want to know if there’s a package deal or discount code.

use #miserablecunt2023 at checkout for 8% off
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but pigs in blankets are sausages wrapped in bacon, sausage rolls are sausage meat in pastry

Now listen here, you’re basically just arguing the name based on what blanket is being used, that’s pure discrimination, bacon or pastry, the fact is they are sausage’s in blanket ROLLS, don’t go trying to make them cute because it’s Christmas by making that roll (be it bacon or pastry) into a cute little blankie.

next you’ll be calling the frozen carrots
“Frosties mini snowman nose’s”
I’m on to you and your festive cheer 🫤
Baa humbug