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Blair-Waldorf

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I only give my honest opinion on threads like this. So here goes

If I was going to a family members hours for Christmas and they asked for money I’d be absolutely mortified and wouldn’t go. And I tell you this for fuck all, everyone would be talking behind your back about it. It takes the shine off the whole day and would make me feel as though I’m imposing as they clearly can’t afford it in the first place. I host every other year and yes it’s expensive but it’s Christmas, I have 52 weeks notice so I make sure I budget and save. If you can’t afford it just be honest and don’t host.
 
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Danglyweed

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I think its cheeky as fuck to ask people to pay. By all means ask folk to buy certain things to go towards dinner, but cash, no!!

The pool. Suck it up or say its out of bounds.
 
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Oohthedrama

Iconic Member
Moderator
I know it's ages away, but we are hosting Christmas this year and I have to start planning now.

In the past, we've mostly gone to one of my SiL's as she has lots of kids and had a large house at the time; but now she's moved into a smaller house and her kids have flown the nest. When we went there, we'd always take something(s) for entree, main, dessert and drinks - as would mostly everyone else (the odd person might turn up with a packet of biscuits, which they wouldn't touch in favour of chowing down on everything everyone else had brought) ... so it was a bit of a pot luck style.

A couple of years ago, we hosted everyone at ours and people didn't really bring a lot - even though we said we'd do the same thing as we'd often done in the past. We had heaps of food and drinks on hand 'just in case' (and to last us through the holidays), and we ended up using the lot on Christmas day. It was also really stressful as we found ourselves pretty much stuck in the kitchen or at the BBQ all the time as nobody helped with anything (it was bizarre).

This year, with us hosting, I am thinking of getting a grazing table company in. I've been quoted $2,500 for everything (including food, drinks, the table itself, a marquee, chairs, crockery, utensils, glasses, etc.). They not only come and set everything up, but they return later that night and take it all away (dirty dishes and all). The only thing we'll have to do is pass plates along, and fill our guests' glasses.

In more recent times when we've gone to my SiL's, we've easily spent $500 on all the stuff we've taken - and there's just two of us. At a guess, I'd say most of the other people have spent similar amounts - especially my other SiL who has kids. When we hosted a couple of years ago, we probably spent well over $800 for everything (I'm in NZ, where the cost of living is ridiculously high).

So, I'm thinking of going for the grazing table option, and charging a per head amount to attend. What do you guys think of this - would you be offended if someone asked you to do this? I floated the idea to my golfing buddies who all thought it was a great idea and said they'd happily pay it if they were invited (which one or two of them will be, as they're alone at Christmas). There will be about 30 people in total ... and of those, 10 are under the age of 21. $2,500 / 30 = $83.33, but it wouldn't be fair to charge the kids that - so maybe the adults $100 each, and the kids $50 each. But what do I do about people who don't drink alcohol or aren't working?

Then there's also the issue of using our pool - its chemicals cost a fortune, as does the water to fill it (we have to get a special water truck in each year to do that, which costs just over $2k) ... should I make the pool off-limits to all (which seems a bit mean), or just charge the adults $110 each and the kids $60 each to allow for that? Not all the kids will swim, and not all the adults will swim. But if there is an 'accident' in the pool (as there was by one of the kids one year when they were visiting [nobody would admit to it]), the whole thing will have to be emptied and re-filled at a later date. This *might* not happen, but if it does, then the extra money would help.

I appreciate this probably sounds a bit mean-spirited to some people (especially the bit about the pool), but we always end up feeling like we're subsidising everyone else at Christmas by the time we buy all the kids gifts and all the extra food, etc. (Adults don't get gifts, so we never benefit in that regard). We're not wealthy by any means, and spend the rest of the year being really careful with money. I'm trying to think of a way to make Christmas far less stressful than it has been in the past.
Jesus Christ why did you invite them at all, this sounds like you’d rather drain the pool kick your husband out and eat a ready made meal cold so as to save on the microwave energy,

you offered.
You didn’t off to provide the location you offered to do Christmas?
If you don’t want to do it than tell them all about your idea and tell them you’re prepared to offer up a location, but you’re not “hosting Christmas” you’re providing a location, be straight, I’m exhausted and it’s only March.!

you sound very bitter about what’s been spent and done and ate in the past, I’d be afraid you were watching me to make sure I didn’t take more than my allocated 10 sprouts or to see if I took a celebration from the box aunt Linda brought,
and if you limit my sprouts were no longer family. 😏 Linda got those celebrations last year and rubbed off the date. Keep them. 😐
 
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FakeSmile

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My own personal opinion is that if you are inviting people over to you then you don’t then expect them to pay for it! By all means ask them to bring something with them but to ask for cash to go towards something expensive that they’ve not even asked for… no!
 
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FakeSmile

VIP Member
It's a terrible idea. You can't host people and then charge them for it. That's the whole point of hosting! Most people will probably decline, and the you can bet that the ones who don't will be bitching about it behind your back.
If it were me, I’d decline AND bitch behind your back :ROFLMAO:
 
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loobyscoobydoo

Well-known member
Sounds like you're not cut out for hosting and if you can get out of it, I would suggest it. You can't ask people to pay that amount of money for a family Christmas.
 
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1001 others

VIP Member
I know it's ages away, but we are hosting Christmas this year and I have to start planning now.

In the past, we've mostly gone to one of my SiL's as she has lots of kids and had a large house at the time; but now she's moved into a smaller house and her kids have flown the nest. When we went there, we'd always take something(s) for entree, main, dessert and drinks - as would mostly everyone else (the odd person might turn up with a packet of biscuits, which they wouldn't touch in favour of chowing down on everything everyone else had brought) ... so it was a bit of a pot luck style.

A couple of years ago, we hosted everyone at ours and people didn't really bring a lot - even though we said we'd do the same thing as we'd often done in the past. We had heaps of food and drinks on hand 'just in case' (and to last us through the holidays), and we ended up using the lot on Christmas day. It was also really stressful as we found ourselves pretty much stuck in the kitchen or at the BBQ all the time as nobody helped with anything (it was bizarre).

This year, with us hosting, I am thinking of getting a grazing table company in. I've been quoted $2,500 for everything (including food, drinks, the table itself, a marquee, chairs, crockery, utensils, glasses, etc.). They not only come and set everything up, but they return later that night and take it all away (dirty dishes and all). The only thing we'll have to do is pass plates along, and fill our guests' glasses.

In more recent times when we've gone to my SiL's, we've easily spent $500 on all the stuff we've taken - and there's just two of us. At a guess, I'd say most of the other people have spent similar amounts - especially my other SiL who has kids. When we hosted a couple of years ago, we probably spent well over $800 for everything (I'm in NZ, where the cost of living is ridiculously high).

So, I'm thinking of going for the grazing table option, and charging a per head amount to attend. What do you guys think of this - would you be offended if someone asked you to do this? I floated the idea to my golfing buddies who all thought it was a great idea and said they'd happily pay it if they were invited (which one or two of them will be, as they're alone at Christmas). There will be about 30 people in total ... and of those, 10 are under the age of 21. $2,500 / 30 = $83.33, but it wouldn't be fair to charge the kids that - so maybe the adults $100 each, and the kids $50 each. But what do I do about people who don't drink alcohol or aren't working?

Then there's also the issue of using our pool - its chemicals cost a fortune, as does the water to fill it (we have to get a special water truck in each year to do that, which costs just over $2k) ... should I make the pool off-limits to all (which seems a bit mean), or just charge the adults $110 each and the kids $60 each to allow for that? Not all the kids will swim, and not all the adults will swim. But if there is an 'accident' in the pool (as there was by one of the kids one year when they were visiting [nobody would admit to it]), the whole thing will have to be emptied and re-filled at a later date. This *might* not happen, but if it does, then the extra money would help.

I appreciate this probably sounds a bit mean-spirited to some people (especially the bit about the pool), but we always end up feeling like we're subsidising everyone else at Christmas by the time we buy all the kids gifts and all the extra food, etc. (Adults don't get gifts, so we never benefit in that regard). We're not wealthy by any means, and spend the rest of the year being really careful with money. I'm trying to think of a way to make Christmas far less stressful than it has been in the past.
 
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watermelon sugar

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Girl it’s only March! You obviously don’t want to host/aren’t cut out for it. Get out of it and go to someone else’s, less stress. Stop thinking about Christmas, there’s months to go 😂
 
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Oohthedrama

Iconic Member
Moderator
i think the original poster might be on to something,
I usually have some of the neighbours in for Christmas drinks and mince pies and I swear every year Nancy takes two, she’s 89 so her apatite should be tiny… it’s just greed on my dime.

This year 1.90 a pie. They all have good pensions
 
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Oohthedrama

Iconic Member
Moderator
In one way I respect the fact you’re planning this 9 months in advance,

even when there are real chances we’ll be hit by a nuclear missile or some new virus from China, and everyone left behind will have 8 fingers and three arms by November….. 😐

If any of those 8 fingered fuckers takes an extra mini snickers that you paid for I will hunt them down for you!!
keeping an eye on your mother, she’s an awful one for pocketing things you paid for for later….

25 p a celebration.
9p a sprout.
Bring your own drinks.
Yorkie puddings need to paid for in advance and they’re a quid for 2.


#itsajokedontreportmeorstartkickingoff
 
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Oohthedrama

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Moderator
I’m thinking of paying people to fuck all the way off this Christmas.

upgraded thread.
 
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FakeSmile

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Lovely weather down south today. I charged my 4 year old 10p to go into the garden. He was in and out so many times it was a real money spinner.
 
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Jane Porcupine

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Okay, I've stopped liking everyone's posts because they're getting a bit nasty.

My original post was serious, and I do appreciate everyone taking the time to comment.

The pool thing is a big deal where I am, because if we have (another) code brown the whole thing has to be emptied and re-filled, and that costs a lot to do. If you go to a Council-run pool you'd pay $12-$15 for the privilege anyway, so I don't think it's cheeky to charge guests to use it. And no @Rayne , I was not intending to charge $100 per person to use the pool.

I attended a wedding a couple of years ago where we were asked to pay a per-head fee to cover food and venue hire, but no presents; and I've attended work functions in the past which have been the same. I had no issue with it.

A couple of people I did float the idea by thought it was great - one even said, if you were going to a hotel, the flat rate is normally $120+, which a lot of people seem okay with paying, so why should this be any different?

And no, I am not bitter (whoever suggested that) about past experiences - times are tough enough without all the stress of having to spend so much money on the silly season.



A grazing table is like this:
View attachment 1121585
... the Christmas one will have desserts also.
Going to a hotel is completely different, you really can't compare the two things. People choosing to spend money on a Christmas meal at a hotel will have certain expectations about what will be provided, the surroundings and ambience, the service etc. You are talking about putting on a very expensive buffet in your own home and charging people extra to use your pool in case a child s***ts in it. Can you not see that those are two very different things?

I also wouldn't put too much weight on the fact that you've asked a few people and they thought it was a great idea. It's entirely possible they were saying what they thought you wanted to hear.

If you are really set on doing it then go ahead, I just wouldn't expect that you'll have people clamouring to attend so you could end up even more out of pocket. 🤷🏻‍♀️
 
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I made an account just to comment on this and ask what you decided to do? I had a great laugh reading this thread months ago and it randomly popped into my head today.
 
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FakeSmile

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On Christmas Day of all days in the year I just want to be with people who want to be with me and not just so that they can make up the numbers for the catering budget.
 
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I just can't get over the fact someone shat in your pool and left it/no one saw who did it 😱🤢
Did they not even wipe afterwards????
Was it an adult poo or a child's poo?
Don't the little ones wear swimming nappies?

So many questions about the poo in the pool!

Also, wouldn't you be having your pool filled up anyway with it being summer?

I need to think about the other points as I'm distracted by the pool situation.
 
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