I’m so alone

[Jac In The Box]

Hope you’re ok I too felt like this a few weeks ago, felt totally worthless & like everyone would be better off if I wasn’t here. Cut a long story short I’ve always been fiercely independent, worked 2 jobs then I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia & SAD. Felt as if my life was over, didn’t want to wake up everyday in pain & be reliant on other people, instead of talking to someone I bottled up my feelings & then went into meltdown I called nhs24 & hung up then plucked up the courage to call back, so glad I did. The mh team were amazing, I was referred to dbi & someone called me everyday to check in & spoke to me about strategies for dealing with things. I watch friends or a Disney movie because it’s a feel good thing for me & even though I’ve seen friends a million times I still lol everytime Please don’t be too tough on yourself & go look at they 2 beautiful babies of yours, remind yourself what an amazing woman you are to give life to them & share your life with themYou’ve done well reaching out so hang in there beautiful

 

[AC55]

@Makaraka I think you're very brave for sharing this all with us. Sometimes I think it's easier to talk to people outside of your family and friends isn't it because they can be more objective.
How are you feeling this morning? I don't have all the answers but I am going to say you really are not alone. Please please call your GP and tell them exactly what you are going through. There is also a wealth of support online and the Samaritans and SHOUT are always available to you.
This year has challenged all of us in many different ways and believe me I've sat and cried, wondering if it will ever be a normal life again. What you don't need is to be tortured and tormented by Sophie Hinchliffe because she is a very toxic individual. Take a break from her and concentrate on you and your children.
You will get through this, in your own time, with some help and support. All of your Tattle friends have offered a wealth of advice here and if you take one thing from it it's this: You are never alone.

Let us all know how you are today.

Lots of love from AC55 xxx

 

[Raininvain]

Can you talk to your husband about him possibly getting a new job close to home? It must be very tough bringing up two children totally by yourself. Its not fair on you. Theres other work out there whatever your circumstances. Hope your feeling better soon, keep reaching out to people and ring the Samaritans if things get too much.

 

[calmyourritas]

I hope you are feeling a little brighter today @Makaraka , please send us a message to check in I have been thinking about you!

 

[DowntoearthDawn]

I’m so alone
I feel like I have nobody to talk to
My husband has gone away until February time when he goes it’s like a light has gone off inside me.
I have two beautiful little girls who I adore and they keep me busy but come bedtime I just cry and cry.

I have a good few friends who try keep me busy but lockdown is just killing me inside

I can’t go on anymore

Keep talking on here, we are all here listening, supporting and wishing you well.

 

[PoppseeT]

Good morning. I've just been reading all your messages from last night and wanted to check how you are this morning? Hope all these lovely people and their advice made you feel better and more positive today x

 

[McNuggets]

Are you okay?

 

[Makaraka]

thank you everyone!
I got up this morning feeling a lot better!
Took the girls to school and then went for a long run!

In the days I’m fine, I keep myself busy with house work and pottering around and during the summer months I’ll walk and do the garden. It’s the colder months and the evenings that I really struggle.

I need some good films, series and books! I love a podcast too. Just anything to keep my mind busy!

 

[D_Wills]

Hey, so glad you are feeling better today I am finding this lockdown really hard. Im a single parent and on furlough for the second time so literally spending 6 hours a day alone while he's at school is really bleeping tough.
If you, or anyone in the same boat, wants to chat then drop me a message, I could do with the company too love to everyone xx

 

[Red Squirrel]

I’m so alone
I feel like I have nobody to talk to
My husband has gone away until February time when he goes it’s like a light has gone off inside me.
I have two beautiful little girls who I adore and they keep me busy but come bedtime I just cry and cry.

I have a good few friends who try keep me busy but lockdown is just killing me inside

I can’t go on anymore

Awe

He’s in the Middle East. He’s in quarantine at the moment so we can kind of speak
But once he’s moved from quarantine it’s difficult.

it’s very a complicated situation.
He didn’t want to leave us and I begged him to stay but duty calls.

I just feel so sad and alone
My dad has PSTD so can’t speak to me about what I’m going through even though he would understand and my mum who is my childminder/support bubble seems to think that I’m dramatic even though she would understand how I feel if she just listened and didn’t dote on the grandkids!

I seem to be in a lone situation amongst my friends who think I’m being dramatic.
but it’s so hard to explain how alone and afraid I feel to anyone

sorry for rambling

Awe don’t say sorry I never know what to say to people sometimes but you are not alone in how you feel right now and hopefully even chatting on here helps a wee bit.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

thank you everyone!
I got up this morning feeling a lot better!
Took the girls to school and then went for a long run!

In the days I’m fine, I keep myself busy with house work and pottering around and during the summer months I’ll walk and do the garden. It’s the colder months and the evenings that I really struggle.

I need some good films, series and books! I love a podcast too. Just anything to keep my mind busy!

So glad to hear this xx podcasts I love the receipts on Spotify & Katherine Ryan’s - both are very very funny.

The evenings are tit, I know this sounds silly but have you got any natural light bulbs? I love mine, they do help lift your mood a little x

 

[Makaraka]

So glad to hear this xx podcasts I love the receipts on Spotify & Katherine Ryan’s - both are very very funny.

The evenings are tit, I know this sounds silly but have you got any natural light bulbs? I love mine, they do help lift your mood a little x

Ooo I love a funny one! I like a true crime too but there doesn’t seem to be any that are taking my fancy at the moment!
last time he was away I binged the whole of my dad wrote a porno! So I’m glad that returns next year!

I haven’t got any natural light bulbs but I’ll look into them!
I struggle to sleep when he’s away but my colleague gave me a sleep aid vape thing so I’m going to give that a go.

thank you lovely people, I was just reading the comments about tattle being full of horrible bullies and it most certainly isn’t.

if anyone else is lonely and/or just wants a chat please feel free
it’s nice to have here to vent it’s made me feel better and I don’t like getting told off for going off topic on other threads x

 

[MaxieMoo]

Ooo I love a funny one! I like a true crime too but there doesn’t seem to be any that are taking my fancy at the moment!
last time he was away I binged the whole of my dad wrote a porno! So I’m glad that returns next year!

I haven’t got any natural light bulbs but I’ll look into them!
I struggle to sleep when he’s away but my colleague gave me a sleep aid vape thing so I’m going to give that a go.

thank you lovely people, I was just reading the comments about tattle being full of horrible bullies and it most certainly isn’t.

if anyone else is lonely and/or just wants a chat please feel free
it’s nice to have here to vent it’s made me feel better and I don’t like getting told off for going off topic on other threads x

I quite enjoyed the Crime Junkie podcasts.

There are a couple of threads on Tattle that I'm on. One is book recommendations/ what are you reading and the other is documentaries you've seen and still think about today. Both have been good at giving me ideas of things to watch and read.

I try and think and plan all the lovely things we can do in the future. The things I took for granted before Covid. It's dark times for so many right now. Tattlers are always around if you need to talk and just to be heard. Someone listening is sometimes all we need.

 

[watermelon sugar]

@Makaraka I'm sorry you're feeling like this hun and I think you're so brave for speaking up about it. Glad to know you're feeling better too

I feel the same, lockdown has broke me and some days I feel like i can't go on anymore. My mental health is up and down like the weather and I feel like I have more bad days than good

I always remember though that it would be a lot worse if I werent here. My fella & my son would be lost without me & it would be the same for your little girls and your hubby

Being alone/feeling alone is the worst. Its not the same as you but my fella works 12 hour days and I never see my family & friends because they live far away from me. I feel so alone. I find messaging my friends just for ongoing conversation helps just so im busy and got someone to speak to.

If you want to just pm me through the day for tit convo please do. And anyone for that

Keep yourself busy, watch tit telly, go on Tattle to keep you entertained!

You matter in this world hope you're okay babe x

 

[ClockworkDolly]

Please try and talk to someone, even if they are a total stranger, which sometimes is better because they don’t complicate things. I wish you all the very best and hope you can open up to someone. Loneliness is heartbreaking, I have been there, but things can and do improve.

 

[Makaraka]

@Makaraka I'm sorry you're feeling like this hun and I think you're so brave for speaking up about it. Glad to know you're feeling better too

I feel the same, lockdown has broke me and some days I feel like i can't go on anymore. My mental health is up and down like the weather and I feel like I have more bad days than good

I always remember though that it would be a lot worse if I werent here. My fella & my son would be lost without me & it would be the same for your little girls and your hubby

Being alone/feeling alone is the worst. Its not the same as you but my fella works 12 hour days and I never see my family & friends because they live far away from me. I feel so alone. I find messaging my friends just for ongoing conversation helps just so im busy and got someone to speak to.

If you want to just pm me through the day for tit convo please do. And anyone for that

Keep yourself busy, watch tit telly, go on Tattle to keep you entertained!

You matter in this world hope you're okay babe x

Thank you beautiful girl!

I think lockdown has just completely ducked me up! Again!
i used to be an avid tattler I loved it so much. I’m definitely finding my love for it again and remembering why with so many lovely people.

it’s 7.30pm though and I’ve not cried or screamed or felt too bad!
I think bottling it all up just made me explode so I’m glad I created this thread.

honestly you lovely lot have changed my perspective of things in less than 24 hours.

I love my little girls to absolute death and I just want to be the best mother to them I can and sometimes alone I know I’m not.

 

[AC55]

@Makaraka do you have Netflix? I would highly recommend Ozark, Narcos and Narcos Mexico. There's a character in Ozark called Darlene Snell and she's just like Ma Barker! glad you're feeling better today. You are the best mother to your girls and don't ever doubt that. Whatever you're doing right now, just take a moment and think about how much you love them and how much they love you, then get yourself settled in the couch and relax. We are all here for you. Xxx

 

[Makaraka]

@Makaraka do you have Netflix? I would highly recommend Ozark, Narcos and Narcos Mexico. There's a character in Ozark called Darlene Snell and she's just like Ma Barker! glad you're feeling better today. You are the best mother to your girls and don't ever doubt that. Whatever you're doing right now, just take a moment and think about how much you love them and how much they love you, then get yourself settled in the couch and relax. We are all here for you. Xxx

I haven’t seen that! I’m watching the crown now! Haven’t been able to sit and catch up for ages on it!

ive had a good day I think the Hinch debacle kept me occupied!

Although my eldest tonight has been a little b. Played me up so much!

 

[AC55]

I haven’t seen that! I’m watching the crown now! Haven’t been able to sit and catch up for ages on it!

ive had a good day I think the Hinch debacle kept me occupied!

Although my eldest tonight has been a little b. Played me up so much!

Our kids play up because they feel safe pushing their boundaries with us. I know that's no help when you're in the middle of it trying to stay sane but that is what kids do. I'm glad you're chilling out and having some down time. Xx

 

[ChampagneBox]

Maybe you have a bit of seasonal affective disorder? I also struggle with the dark nights What about one of those lamps that mimic daylight? That might help take the edge off the darkness?