I’m so alone

[CosmicCreepers]

I'm having these exact thoughts lately, It gets so overwhelming... I'm only out of a relationship and even when I was in it had that sense of when they're gone I'll really be all alone and nobody with share the same emotions of losing them with me... I know it won't be today or tomorrow but some days during this pandemic it's just consumed me... It is a comfort knowing I'm not alone in these thoughts hope it is to you as well

Wow it's so heartwarming to read a post like I've written it myself. I hope you're okay too, its such a very real and scary fear.

 

[Holymotherofgod]

Wow it's so heartwarming to read a post like I've written it myself. I hope you're okay too, its such a very real and scary fear.

I find myself thinking about it less when I have the motivation to keep myself busy, so by extension a good nights sleep really helps! To be honest I've been looking for some sort of adult only child support groups or associations but haven't found anything... I hate going to the doctor or counselling about this topic, it's very obviously a normal response to growing up, I just want to share thoughts and chat with people in the same position...

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

Sorry to steal your thread @Makaraka but I need some outside advice.

How would you feel seeing messages from another female on your bfs phone to the likes of "xxx" and "when can I have you"
Hes openly lied to me about constant messages being family (incidentally caught him out) and is never away from his phone to the point he turns it away from me/has changed his lock code.

Im at a loss because if I say anything I just become the jealous gf and he brings up past incidences

 

[calmyourritas]

Sorry to steal your thread @Makaraka but I need some outside advice.

How would you feel seeing messages from another female on your bfs phone to the likes of "xxx" and "when can I have you"
Hes openly lied to me about constant messages being family (incidentally caught him out) and is never away from his phone to the point he turns it away from me/has changed his lock code.

Im at a loss because if I say anything I just become the jealous gf and he brings up past incidences

Honestly, hearing things like “when can I have you?” - I wouldn’t put up with that.

don’t let him treat you like tit xx

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

Honestly, hearing things like “when can I have you?” - I wouldn’t put up with that.

don’t let him treat you like tit xx

The problem is I dont have context and I dont want to blow it out of proportion.

 

[calmyourritas]

The problem is I dont have context and I dont want to blow it out of proportion.

You’ve said he’s openly lied to you before. Is this just about messages or have there been other things?

It sounds to me like you don’t trust him, for a reason.

 

[birdiefly246]

The problem is I dont have context and I dont want to blow it out of proportion.

maybe I'm alone in thinking this but how much context do you really need for "when can I have you?"

it's not "when can I see you?" which is something that you could say to a friend. I'm not saying "have you" implies anything sexual but for me anyway it does imply some kind of possession, like a "when is my time to have you" kind of thing

 

[Squiggle]

I wonder how "when can I have you" is taken the wrong way out of context? I would take that how it comes across to be honest.

 

[birdiefly246]

okay I've just read your original post, and maybe I'm way out of line for saying this.

He's hiding his phone and lock key etc then something is going on. You've got a gut instinct that it is and normally that is pretty spot on. If you say anything and he accuses you of being the jealous girlfriend then I'd be asking myself why is he deflecting it onto me? If he was innocent he wouldn't be jumping to make sure you feel like the crazy one.

 

[Georgethecat]

Sorry to steal your thread @Makaraka but I need some outside advice.

How would you feel seeing messages from another female on your bfs phone to the likes of "xxx" and "when can I have you"
Hes openly lied to me about constant messages being family (incidentally caught him out) and is never away from his phone to the point he turns it away from me/has changed his lock code.

Im at a loss because if I say anything I just become the jealous gf and he brings up past incidences

Get rid, ASAP. He's hiding stuff and gaslighting you. Don't waste your headspace on him. Not worth it in the long run, he's clearly keeping his options open.

 

[Holymotherofgod]

The problem is I dont have context and I dont want to blow it out of proportion.

From experience, I wouldn't put up with it for longer then I have to... I think he wants his cake and to eat it too... You're worth more then that

The problem is I dont have context and I dont want to blow it out of proportion.

You're not blowing it out of proportion though he will tell you you are, been there done that, wish I had have asked for advice here instead of thinking I was nuts to have suspicions when this happened to me, you're gut is ALWAYS right

 

[Makaraka]

Sorry to steal your thread @Makaraka but I need some outside advice.

How would you feel seeing messages from another female on your bfs phone to the likes of "xxx" and "when can I have you"
Hes openly lied to me about constant messages being family (incidentally caught him out) and is never away from his phone to the point he turns it away from me/has changed his lock code.

Im at a loss because if I say anything I just become the jealous gf and he brings up past incidences

Steal away!
Wow, firstly I would be livid!
As previously said, “when can I have you” to me implies it’s much more!

If he’s lied in the past also you have every right to be suspicious.
I think you should confront him about it! I understand it will be hard for you whatever the consequences but you need to hit this head on xxx

 

[Raininvain]

Your relationship is over, dont be a mug and put up with all this, you need to leave him today or tell him to go depending on your housing situation.

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

maybe I'm alone in thinking this but how much context do you really need for "when can I have you?"

it's not "when can I see you?" which is something that you could say to a friend. I'm not saying "have you" implies anything sexual but for me anyway it does imply some kind of possession, like a "when is my time to have you" kind of thing

That's what shocked me most. Have is such a strong possessive word

 

[calmyourritas]

That's what shocked me most. Have is such a strong possessive word

Have you spoken to him?

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

You’ve said he’s openly lied to you before. Is this just about messages or have there been other things?

It sounds to me like you don’t trust him, for a reason.

His phone is constantly going off receiving messages (he has navy group chats going on) but he said it was his sister who was talking to me at that time ao I asked her... She said no

Have you spoken to him?

We're both working nights. Im going to speak to him tomorrow about it

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

What Id like to say...

Ive caught glimpses of messages from {her} and Im getting more worried about your "friendship" Would you show me them so I get full context because what Ive seen when we're next to each other or if Im passing by is really bleeping inappropriate and it upsets me a lot.
I love you and I trust you but I dont agree with her being this needy.

In my head - Youre mine and Joey doesnt share food

 

[Bubblebutton03]

Hi .. new to this thread.. if I saw that on my partner phone I would not be happy. I suspect mine is having an affair to., looked at his phone but he is clever!
I stay As I have already had a failed marriage and we have a kid.
lonely is the worst feeling.. this time of year is so hard x

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

So I aaked this morning (things were already tense) and his reply was What? I dont know/dont know what your talking about.
Hes either lieing or completely oblivious.
My gut says first....

 

[calmyourritas]

Your gut will tell you all you need to know...