Hey op
just wanted to give you some advice first and foremost I am sorry your going through this it’s awful you always assume the bullying stops when you leave school I learnt the hard way it doesn’t
so last year during the peak of covid I was working in a care home the pay was brilliant hours suited me and it was busy we had residents who were very poorly with covid and because hygiene standards were very high ie washing hands all the time constantly changing ppe and following covid rules bagging laundry from a infected person sometimes people forgot things during this time not big things very small things like not moving a cup.
up till that point I had got on with my manager we weren’t best friends but I feel there was a line of respect there I’m a senior and she was my manger I ran a small team who listened to me and genuinely liked me. I notice she my manager started putting comments in a communication book about just me and my team again small things not even worth writing down this began every few days then it got to a point it was every single day just nit Picking at small things that other teams were doing too but my team was singled out for.
Then one day a resident who is very well known to be difficult and who everyone complains about complained that she didn’t feel loved and that other residents were getting more attention (the ones that were dieing of covid or very poorly she never caught it) of courses this went straight to management who again blamed me during handover I had day team and another senior so say 6 women and my own team another 3 listen while my manager Ran me into the ground said I wasnt capable of doing the job she didn’t know why she hired me and I was a awful person and that if anyone died it would be down to me alone and that any complaints she saw as solely my fault alone no one else’s I stood there stunned and humiliated and nodded while trying not to cry you could cut the atmosphere with a knife no one would look at me my own team attempted to defend me and she threatened them with displinary.
I ended up going home sobbing in the back of a taxi and attempting to take my own life with paracetamol as soon as I got in the house. I wrote a suicide note detailing the bullying that had now gone on everyday for 3 months even when I wasn’t at work I would get texts from other members of staff saying about what she was saying about me for example my hair was scruffy I was overweight and hadnt I heard of weight watchers she even left a leaflet out one time for a diet club knowing I’d see it and made a comment like have you thought about going you are off work this was during covid so it wasn’t even open it was just something else to dig at.
Fourtunatley my mom came to check on me a hour later and I had to have my stomach pumped at hospital and having to see a mental health team
who deemed it was a one off occasion and a heat of a moment and advised me to contact my gp. my mom also phoned my work and told my manager what happened who ended up in tears on the phone apologising saying she didn’t realise I’d take it to heart (how else was I meant to take it?) and she’d deal with it in house and not get HR involved or the area manager to this day they don’t know about it.
I did go back to work a week later and she couldn’t stop apologising saying I should of come to her and not to take her seriously and that she doesn’t always mean what she says. That was last year I’m still at the same job and so is she. It is strained sometimes between us but on the whole we actually get on she had apologised again recently and said it was the stress of covid that got to her and she thinks she may of just taken it out on me and pushed me too hard she never writes in the communication books and any complaints she communicates with me ( like two adults should) I used to dread her coming in and I still have those days but there rare and far between.
I know some may ask why didn’t you or haven’t left but in my head I thought no why shouldI I? it is decent pay in a team I enjoy working with and why should I walk away from that due to just one person I don’t get on with I know I’m good at my job and I deserve to be there too.
I’m embarrassed I even took it as far as trying to take my own life because she simply isn’t and wasn’t worth it I do regret not pulling her aside and just saying your genuinely getting to me please stop but she is a much nicer person now to everyone sorry for the long post just wanted to reassure you it’s not just you this happens too xx