I'm being bullied at work

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As the title says, I think I'm being bullied by my work colleagues. We started around the same time in a new company. All was great for a while, then they turned on me. I was going through a bad time, and was in bad form and they reported me. Then it escalated. They are being really subtle, nobody else would notice, only me. They undermine me when they can, they exclude me from discussions. They were talking about the weather and I commented about a website that I follow, and they keep mentioning it as a dig at me. One of them was being OK with me, then she turned against me again. I tried calling her on teams, and she didn't answer so I messaged her and she replied straight away, so she just didn't want to talk to me.
I feel broken, I don't want to go back to work next week. It is really affecting me. I've tried to ignore their snideness and be nice to them, but I can't do it anymore. I spent most of the weekend crying.
I am looking for another job, but I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.
Ok so this has kind of happened to me at work in the past and I think there are three options I would go down. 1. Tell your manager your concerns if she/ he doesn’t take you seriously then you should go to HR. 2. This is what I did told people to wind their neck in and basically work hard and try not to give a tit about them eventually people get bored or angered that you aren’t bothered alternatively you should ask them why they have an issue with you and it’s upsetting you maybe they will think about it more. Usually I just mutter duck off very quietly so they can hear me but only just but no one else can it’s childish but makes me feel better or I confront them 3. Leave - this is the last resort and you should not have to get to this point. In my experience a lot of people are out for themselves at work think about you and forget them. X edited: keep a diary of dates and times I was told to do this with a senior manager once however I ended up telling another manager that I felt so stressed and upset because of him and they removed him from my office and put him in a separate office so he wasn’t on my shoulder barking at me continuously x
 
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as someone who suffered from bullying at work & left my job. My heart goes out to you. I went off sick due to the bullying as it was my manager who was the main bully. I kept a note of every comment, remark, dig & really anything that he did in my diary. He had colleagues pass messages onto me as well from him. HR got involved as another colleague complained about him. I couldn’t return to my job & l wish l had fought more to stay but at the time l just had no fight left.

Id advise you to keep a note of everything. Don’t rise to them. Speak with HR or ACAS.
 
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I can sadly really relate to your position.

I started at an office when I was 21 and all the women on my team (who were all late 20’s and 30’s bullied me relentlessly) including my line manager. I put it down to jealousy and that they were just nasty old bitter witches.
The whole ordeal gave me awful anxiety and I suffered panic attacks every morning. I was sat crying at my desk every day. The company ended my contract as they were ‘concerned for my mental health’. Long story short their concern was bullshit.

I wish I had told the HR team and escalated it.
I agree with other posters in to definitely telling someone about it. Keep a diary. Ignore any nasty comments and don’t react to what they say/do to you in the meantime. Whatever you have to speak about, keep it professional and work related.

You shouldn’t have to, but is it possible to request a transfer to a different team/role?

Even if they are called out/reprimanded/warned for their behaviour I wouldn’t want to be on the same team as people like them.

I really hope you’re okay, this is sadly very common, and such an awful position to be in. ❤

Do keep us updated. And remember: bullies are insecure and unhappy with their own lives. That’s why they attempt to bring others down. You’re a million times better than they would ever be

Here are some links I’ve found that could be useful too




 
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I attended the occupational nurse today for a walk in check up. My blood pressure is high. I have to go back tomorrow and Monday at different times to get checked again. If they are high too, I have to go to my doctor. I attribute this to the bullying, as I used to have OK readings. I had a medical a year and half ago when I took the job and BP was OK then.
I can't believe my physical health is affected.
 
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I really feel for you and all the others that have experienced this. I went through similar 10 years ago, unfortunately there was no HR or anything like that as it was a small company with only 8 employees, and it was the owners brother that was bullying me.

I can't offer any other advice to add to what has already been said, other than a lot of companies do exit interviews when you leave. If you get one, make sure they know exactly what has happened.
 
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So, I handed in my notice. I'm finished at the end of the month. I'm pissed off, as the money was good and the job was local. I'll probably end up less well off financially. But I've made my decision and I have to stick by it.
I'll be flat out on tattle soon! 😂
 
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So, I handed in my notice. I'm finished at the end of the month. I'm pissed off, as the money was good and the job was local. I'll probably end up less well off financially. But I've made my decision and I have to stick by it.
I'll be flat out on tattle soon! 😂
I can understand you being pissed off but you will soon be in a job where the work life is better, your mental health is better. It will be a huge relief when you walk out the door for the last time and moving on, you couldn't stay where you were. Remember as one door closes, another door opens. Good luck with the next chapter in your life, you will soon find a job x 🤞
 
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I went through similar. I started a new job with this other girl at the same time, and thought we got on just fine, but then she turned against me and another girl (who had always been cold and standoffish) joined in. There were only four of us sharing the office so the atmosphere was frosty verging on intolerable. I started job hunting and left as soon as I could. I was only there for 14 months.

My only regret is that I wasn’t candid enough in my exit interview. The supervisor (who knew what had been going on) asked me whether I was leaving due to X. I said something about feeling like it was time to move on. That was a lie, I should have said “yes, I’m leaving because my mental health couldn’t take any more”.

The job I moved onto was the BEST. I’m so glad I took it.
 
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I went through similar. I started a new job with this other girl at the same time, and thought we got on just fine, but then she turned against me and another girl (who had always been cold and standoffish) joined in. There were only four of us sharing the office so the atmosphere was frosty verging on intolerable. I started job hunting and left as soon as I could. I was only there for 14 months.

My only regret is that I wasn’t candid enough in my exit interview. The supervisor (who knew what had been going on) asked me whether I was leaving due to X. I said something about feeling like it was time to move on. That was a lie, I should have said “yes, I’m leaving because my mental health couldn’t take any more”.

The job I moved onto was the BEST. I’m so glad I took it.
That's wonderful that things worked out better for you. It is tempting to let loose in an exit interview but what would it achieve (aside from a few minutes of satisfaction)? I doubt they'd use the feedback to change things for the better.
 
That's wonderful that things worked out better for you. It is tempting to let loose in an exit interview but what would it achieve (aside from a few minutes of satisfaction)? I doubt they'd use the feedback to change things for the better.
You’re so right. I guess I felt like a bit of a doormat but you could argue I was just taking the moral high ground 😉 I’m really easy going at work and don’t like to rock the boat at all... that’s why I was easy prey I think.

Tell you what was ironic though - the bully got promoted to my role.
 
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As the title says, I think I'm being bullied by my work colleagues. We started around the same time in a new company. All was great for a while, then they turned on me. I was going through a bad time, and was in bad form and they reported me. Then it escalated. They are being really subtle, nobody else would notice, only me. They undermine me when they can, they exclude me from discussions. They were talking about the weather and I commented about a website that I follow, and they keep mentioning it as a dig at me. One of them was being OK with me, then she turned against me again. I tried calling her on teams, and she didn't answer so I messaged her and she replied straight away, so she just didn't want to talk to me.
I feel broken, I don't want to go back to work next week. It is really affecting me. I've tried to ignore their snideness and be nice to them, but I can't do it anymore. I spent most of the weekend crying.
I am looking for another job, but I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.
First of all, remember it is them with the problem, not you. Sadly, many work places have bullies. Adults are just children over 18 basically. You have to document any incidents of bullying and try and gather evidence and then take this to your line manager. Trust me, companies take this very seriously. It might just take the ring leader getting dismissed and the whole posse will break up. You shouldn't be the one to leave.. Try and find alliances in the good people.
 
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First of all, remember it is them with the problem, not you. Sadly, many work places have bullies. Adults are just children over 18 basically. You have to document any incidents of bullying and try and gather evidence and then take this to your line manager. Trust me, companies take this very seriously. It might just take the ring leader getting dismissed and the whole posse will break up. You shouldn't be the one to leave.. Try and find alliances in the good people.
I went to manager. He took their side. I have gone completely quiet and withdrawn, so now they are trying to insinuate that I'm a psycho. Gaslighting me. So I handed 8n my notice. I can't put up with their shite any longer.
 
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I went to manager. He took their side. I have gone completely quiet and withdrawn, so now they are trying to insinuate that I'm a psycho. Gaslighting me. So I handed 8n my notice. I can't put up with their shite any longer.
How big is the company you work for, can you go above your manager, to HR for example?
 
How big is the company you work for, can you go above your manager, to HR for example?
I absolutely could go above him, but I don't want to. I'm not in the right frame of mind, plus I don't want to get a bad name. The industry is quite close knit and word would get round.
 
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I absolutely could go above him, but I don't want to. I'm not in the right frame of mind, plus I don't want to get a bad name. The industry is quite close knit and word would get round.
Are you in a union? You might be able to get a union rep if you decide to go above him. If you absolutely can't go above him, then perhaps it might be best to get another job but don't forget to shame the company on Indeed reviews. :)
 
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No union unfortunately.
Yes, hopefully I'll get another job. I'm beginning to shame them. I'd been holding the bullying to myself for months, but now I'm telling people.
 
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No union unfortunately.
Yes, hopefully I'll get another job. I'm beginning to shame them. I'd been holding the bullying to myself for months, but now I'm telling people.
It’s not the fashion industry by any chance is it?
I worked in a fashion HQ in London and was bullied relentlessly by senior staff. The industry is very small, and corrupt. I’m glad I got out and glad you’re getting out of wherever it is you may be.

When one door closes another one definitely opens! This will make you a stronger person in the long run and now you’ll know the warning signs of a toxic workplace. Good luck for your next venture!
 
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Not the fashion industry.
Exactly, I hope that I can spot the signs and not have this happen again, thanks!
 
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So, in our morning zoom meeting, I log in. Colleagues all in, boss not logged in yet. Last colleague logs in, say 'good morning men'. I'm the only female. 😞. Put me in bad form all day. Why are people such cunts.
 
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So, in our morning zoom meeting, I log in. Colleagues all in, boss not logged in yet. Last colleague logs in, say 'good morning men'. I'm the only female. 😞. Put me in bad form all day. Why are people such cunts.
Wouldn't it be great if someone could call him out on that or acknowledge you.
 
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