I'd have given you a gift, love. And it wouldn't have been "a bit of tat" as one poster here so charmingly described the standard of taste she expects of her own social circle. I would have taken great trouble to choose something which I knew you'd love and would want to keep for many years.This is a really tough one. We too asked our guests for money and that was only because of pressure from my husband, I too believe it’s a crass thing to do and I still wish we hadn’t done it.
It depends how much money you have invested in the wedding, have you planned the hen do? Had to buy your own dress/makeup? These are all things to take into consideration xxx
I'd have given you a gift, love. And it wouldn't have been "a bit of tat" as one poster here so charmingly described the standard of taste she expects of her own social circle. I would have taken great trouble to choose something which I knew you'd love and would want to keep for many years.
I'm sat here right now looking at some of my own wedding gifts. A lovely rosewood desktop writing set which my darling old Aunt proudly told everyone at the reception "Only cost ten quid at auction!" A pair of pewter candlesticks from my husband's Grandparents. They had received them for their own wedding over sixty years before. They weren't in a position to get a showy gift so they had given us something that was more precious than anything money could buy. I remember weeping in awe as we opened them, knowing how much they treasured those candlesticks and what their willingness to pass them onto us meant. It meant they had accepted me as one of their own.
I cannotCall me old fashioned but I don't give a damn how commonplace it's become to ask for money instead of wedding gifts. It's a rude, crude, crass and tacky thing to do. They'd be getting a toast rack or a set of candle sticks off me & if they didn't like it they could shove both the gift and the "friendship".
See your gifts were lovely and will stand the test of time . I have obsessive compulsive thoughts so the idea of having mismatched pieces make me physically sick - so yeah it’s tat to me. My family and friends who are coming to the wedding (we are having a small wedding due to COVID) understand and I’ve made it perfectly clear we don’t want physical gifts . My grandma has said she will get us vouchers for date days, my parents are gifting money for our honeymoon , my sister has said she will gift us a day trip whilst on our honeymoon. Friends have said they will gift money so we can extend our trip. To me memories are way more precious that a photo frame or some dinner plates that I wouldn’t use. If people hate giving money (it seems to be a old fashioned view) then we are more than happy with a card that’s sent with love.I'd have given you a gift, love. And it wouldn't have been "a bit of tat" as one poster here so charmingly described the standard of taste she expects of her own social circle. I would have taken great trouble to choose something which I knew you'd love and would want to keep for many years.
I'm sat here right now looking at some of my own wedding gifts. A lovely rosewood desktop writing set which my darling old Aunt proudly told everyone at the reception "Only cost ten quid at auction!" A pair of pewter candlesticks from my husband's Grandparents. They had received them for their own wedding over sixty years before. They weren't in a position to get a showy gift so they had given us something that was more precious than anything money could buy. I remember weeping in awe as we opened them, knowing how much they treasured those candlesticks and what their willingness to pass them onto us meant. It meant they had accepted me as one of their own.
My daughter now has a hand carved camphor laurel chest to store her linen in, which was given to us by my best friend from school days. She died of cancer 15 years ago but she's still here, caring for us, making sure our linens & blankets are safe from being eaten by moths and silverfish. Two crystal vases sit on the mantelpiece. They have held many blossoms over the years. Some of them purchased at posh florists and rather grand. But many more were bedraggled dandelions and nearly blown roses, picked by childish hands on rambles. Both the flowers and the vessels were given with much love and have long brightened our home with the light from it.
Will any of these people sit, in 20 or 30 years time, pointing to the pound notes they were so thirsty for and say "Oh that was from....and when she gave it, I knew I was loved."?
Same. We had quite a small wedding and said we didn’t want gifts just happy they could come to the wedding which was on a week day so a lot of guests had to take the day off work.Am I the only weirdo? I didn't mention gifts AT ALL on my invitations but told my inlaws and family to spread the word that no gifts were necessary, we just wanted people there.
Same. We had quite a small wedding and said we didn’t want gifts just happy they could come to the wedding which was on a week day so a lot of guests had to take the day off work.
But we did still get some gifts and some gave money because I don’t think they were comfortable coming empty handed.
I’m not a fan of when people ask for money towards their honeymoon etc. We didn’t even have a honeymoon! I’m also not a fan of people spending an absolute fortune on their wedding.
My friend got married a few years ago and asked for money and then moaned about the small amount most guests gave!
That is not strictly true, I got married a long time ago with a list at John Lewis, we had stuff for less than a fiver upwards. And we only got one of everything, not multiple toasters etc and all cutlery, crockery towels etc matched. Free delivery all gift wrappedI’ve been thinking about this and I think gift registry’s are worse and more beggy than asking for money even though they are more socially acceptable. Usually the registry is at John Lewis or somewhere equally as unaffordable and you end up spending £50 on a fucking gravy boat. Giving money is better because you have more control over how much you give, rather than trying to find what ever is on their list that is within your budget, and they can make better use of the money and probably wouldn’t spend it all on a gravy boat.
One couple I bought a registry gift for have now divorced so who knows what happened to my gift.
Apologies for quoting myself but I've just remembered that this same person also had a gift registry and it had stuff like winter jackets on it LOLI had a friend (and I use the term loosely) who not only put some crappy poem in her invites, but a PAYPAL link to send the money to!!!
Yeah on average €100 per person, because its seen to be covering your meal cost plus an added gift. When I was maid of honour, myself and my partner gave €350. I know different places have different traditions though.A large sum is expected at Irish weddings isn't it? My brother's wife is Irish and I've been to a few weddings over there and from what I've seen it looks like €150-€200 is the sort of standard amount.
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