Honeymoon money as a present - how much would you give?

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I think I’m going to go with £100… she is my oldest friend but a huge snob (I say that only partially with love 😂) and does have a bit of a tendency to think she’s above me (gets it from her mother and trying to impress her well off fiancé!) I know in my heart of hearts that whatever I give probably won’t be enough, she does seem to look down on me and will assume my amount is tight no matter what it is 😂 glad the common consensus seems to be that will be enough! We are paying to travel to the destination, and myself and another bridesmaid split the cost of her hen do between us (was just us 3, was super small as in raging COVID times)

thank you so much for the advice! I’ll jump back on and let you know how she reacts…
You seem too nice to be her friend! Why waste your time on someone who looks down on you? That isn’t a good friend. I wouldn’t even give her a fiver.
 
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You seem too nice to be her friend! Why waste your time on someone who looks down on you? That isn’t a good friend. I wouldn’t even give her a fiver.
Absolutely this. In fact what I'd do is something I did once to my stuck up sister in law who did ask for money and she gave the reason a few here have given "We have everything we could possibly need and I don't want anything mismatched."

So I found an organisation which provided people in developing countries with seed and livestock, bought a small community of women living with AIDS in Namibia two milking goats and donated them in her name. They sent a very sweet little certificate of thanks and I put that in the card.

She was horrified and I was wildly amused. I said to her "But you said you had everything you need so I figured you didn't need the money either."
 
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You seem too nice to be her friend! Why waste your time on someone who looks down on you? That isn’t a good friend. I wouldn’t even give her a fiver.
Agreed!!! I had a “good friend” who had the snobbiest upbringing imaginable. She was wealthy and felt entitled to everything under the sun including wedding gifts. Instead of writing thank you cards she gave the bridesmaids canvas totes with the date of her wedding on it 🤢
 
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Agreed!!! I had a “good friend” who had the snobbiest upbringing imaginable. She was wealthy and felt entitled to everything under the sun including wedding gifts. Instead of writing thank you cards she gave the bridesmaids canvas totes with the date of her wedding on it 🤢
"All brass and no class" my Gran would have called that.
 
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Haha that is definitely her. She was the first friend I made when I moved to a new grade school, so I felt sentimental and obligated to attend. I also didn’t have the backbone yet to say “Thank you, but no thank you” on my RSVP card. I would 100% do that if she was getting married now!
 
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I’d rather people ask for money, makes life easier for me. How the frig am I supposed to know what to get them, otherwise?

30 quid in a card, job done.
 
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Slightly off topic but any suggestions for a small keepsake type gift for a close relative's wedding? We are giving money as the actual present but I would like them to have a little something to keep and think they would too.
 
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Slightly off topic but any suggestions for a small keepsake type gift for a close relative's wedding? We are giving money as the actual present but I would like them to have a little something to keep and think they would too.

What about a wooden chopping board engraved with their married name?
 
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I think I’m going to go with £100… she is my oldest friend but a huge snob (I say that only partially with love 😂) and does have a bit of a tendency to think she’s above me (gets it from her mother and trying to impress her well off fiancé!) I know in my heart of hearts that whatever I give probably won’t be enough, she does seem to look down on me and will assume my amount is tight no matter what it is 😂 glad the common consensus seems to be that will be enough! We are paying to travel to the destination, and myself and another bridesmaid split the cost of her hen do between us (was just us 3, was super small as in raging COVID times)

thank you so much for the advice! I’ll jump back on and let you know how she reacts…
You really don't need friends who look down on you.

Why not half the amount and keep £50 to spend on yourself?
 
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My general rule of thumb when going to weddings with my fiance is
£200 if it's one of my best friends
£100 for a good friend
£50 if it's just a general say hello to and have a dance with on a night out friend
 
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Some people simply don’t have much room to even store gifts these days, I certainly don’t have.
 
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Serious question and not getting at anyone, if the couple getting married have everything they need, so don’t want actual gifts, why would they ask for *money?
*assuming they haven’t said it’s towards a honeymoon.
Some friends of ours got married, they too said they had everything they needed and instead said if anyone really wanted to give them something then please would they donate that amount to a charity. I thought that was lovely.
 
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Serious question and not getting at anyone, if the couple getting married have everything they need, so don’t want actual gifts, why would they ask for *money?
*assuming they haven’t said it’s towards a honeymoon.
Some friends of ours got married, they too said they had everything they needed and instead said if anyone really wanted to give them something then please would they donate that amount to a charity. I thought that was lovely.
I'm not married and haven't really given it much thought, but I think if I were to ask for money, it would be because there will always be people who give gifts regardless and I rather have money than some more wine glasses or another toaster, etc.
 
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We’ve always given £50 for a close friend.

I HATE buying presents unless it’s something that’s been asked for so I’m quite happy to give money.
 
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I would give £100 as a daytime guest and £50 as an evening guest.

I’d prefer to give a gift of money for a wedding. Most couples live together beforehand so have everything they need and everyone’s taste is so different. I wouldn’t want to turn up empty handed to a wedding where the couple were paying potentially £100+ per head for food and drinks etc.

I’m due to get married next year. I’m not particularly fussed about gifts or money, I’m just hoping it can go ahead and we can see all our loved ones and celebrate. If I had the choice though I’d probably choose cash and we could book some trips on our honeymoon we might not do otherwise.
 
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I normally give fancy wine.

If people didn't have such overly flashy weddings maybe they'd be able to afford their honeymoons.
 
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Slightly off topic but any suggestions for a small keepsake type gift for a close relative's wedding? We are giving money as the actual present but I would like them to have a little something to keep and think they would too.
An address embosser makes a nice gift
 
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A few years ago my cousin got married. I was not part of the ‘bridal party’ as in bridesmaid or anything, but I attended her hen which was abroad and cost me about £600, I stayed in the hotel before and after her wedding as it was quite far which cost me another £200, and I gave £150 as a wedding present as they asked for money for the honeymoon.

Since the wedding I’ve heard from her about 3 times.. I feel like she used me to make up the numbers now and in future I’ll be more careful about what weddings I spend a lot of money on 🙃
 
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Slightly off topic but any suggestions for a small keepsake type gift for a close relative's wedding? We are giving money as the actual present but I would like them to have a little something to keep and think they would too.
One of our evening guests bought us mugs with Mr *surname initial* and Mrs *surname initial* that was 3 years ago, and it’s one of my favourite mugs
Also, another friend who attended the whole day, got on a slate heart, the date of our first date, the date we got engaged and our wedding date which was so thoughtful
We did do the honeymoon poem, as we lived together for 4 years prior and at that point, had 3 children between us. We would always give money. I always leave things last minute, so normally stop at a cash point en route 😂
 
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