Holidays with friends when you have a boyfriend

[Lauz666]

His mother sounds like a bitch

 

[Definitelyme]

Tell her to run from them both. Imagine having her as a mother in law

Relationship or not, you are free to go on holiday with your friends if you want to. Being in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you dedicate yourself only to them. And if that’s what is being asked of your friend I would have serious concerns about this fella (and his ma is a whack job)

 

[Motherpuffin]

Sweet Jesus! Please tell your friend not to listen to his mum on this topic as she is going to be incredibly biased towards her son and isn’t involved in the decision making. If the boyfriend is unsure about his feelings and has said that then your friend should do whatever the hell she likes and it sounds like the two of you could have an amazing dream holiday together. Just my tuppence worth!

In addition I’m happily married and have gone on multiple holidays with friends and left my husband behind - friends should always be a priority I think x

 

[RoseBush23]

Update if anyone is interested!

woke up this morning from her saying that she can’t go on holiday with me anymore

 

[judgejohndeed]

Partner giving friend a hard time about going on hol with friend sounds borderline coercive/controlling behaviour to me. No idea why that would be a problem at all.

 

[Gertrude]

Please tell her to not listen to his mum!!

I am in a long term relationship during which I have gone on many holidays abroad with my mates; LA being one of the trips. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it and perfectly healthy for a relationship.

 

[onmylunchbreak]

The only time I think I can see where the mother in law is coming from... is if you have children together, and you spend all of your disposable income and annual leave on going away with friends, leaving your children and husband without any money left for a family holiday. Otherwise, I don’t see the issue at all.

If I’m being honest from what I’ve read, I can see the relationship ending soon anyway, don’t let your friend cancel your trip because of a man who ‘isn’t sure how he feels’.

 

[RoseBush23]

WHAT?! Nah fuck her sorry. She said she wasn't going how is it fair that she's now saying you can't go with someone else?!

What were her reasons for not going?

her boyfriend said that he wants a baby but also isn’t sure if he wants to be with her anymore... so she’s decided now she will bring the baby forward so it means no holidays anymore..

 

[birdiefly246]

her boyfriend said that he wants a baby but also isn’t sure if he wants to be with her anymore... so she’s decided now she will bring the baby forward so it means no holidays anymore..

I have so many things to say but I can't even pick where to start. So she's going to have a baby with a man who doesn't know if he wants to be with her cause he wants a baby but doesn't know if he wants to be with her?

Don't get me wrong all babies are blessings of course but that's hardly a good dynamic to bring a child into. She's just having the baby to keep him even though he may not want to be with her anyway? And to top it off, she's pissed off with you for going on a holiday that she could well go on but she's choosing not to cause her fella is being a massive ball sack.

Sounds like a fucking disaster

 

[bookworm1403]

From experience, my now ex-boyfriend and myself were very close, very trusting of each other, loved each other etc, but he would not let me go to Ibiza for 4 days with my friends, all early 20s (one of my friends lived out there and we were visiting and obviously partying). My friends even came round to see him and said that I worshipped the ground he walked on and would never cheat and they would look after me etc but he wouldn't let up, said he didn't trust other people out there. Needless to say, I didn't go out of fear of going and then my relationship being ruined... he then broke up with me weeks later stating 'I wasn't in the same mind frame as him as I didn't want to go on holidays with my friends'. I laugh about it now, but regret that whilst my friends were out having the time of their lives I chose a boy over such an experience.

If your holiday has been planned, talked about etc for such a long time then, honestly, if he's not letting her go she needs to let go of the relationship and have the holiday, especially if he's showing doubts. I wish I'd known better.

 

[RoseBush23]

The only time I think I can see where the mother in law is coming from... is if you have children together, and you spend all of your disposable income and annual leave on going away with friends, leaving your children and husband without any money left for a family holiday. Otherwise, I don’t see the issue at all.

If I’m being honest from what I’ve read, I can see the relationship ending soon anyway, don’t let your friend cancel your trip because of a man who ‘isn’t sure how he feels’.

He said he wants a baby but he also doesn’t want to touch her so... currently no kids involved!

 

[Blue1989]

She sounds ridiculously immature. That baby will do nothing to fix the relationship, it's a child not a bandage

 

[Raininvain]

Just go on your holiday, either buy yourself or with another friend. Don't be putting your life on hold for this friend. If she has a baby there's no chance she will do anything with you never mind go on a big holiday.

 

[Missh95]

Absolutely nothing wrong with going on a holiday without your partner. Sometimes you need time for yourself as well, you don’t have to do everything with your partner and personally I think it might be healthy having space apart sometimes

 

[RoseBush23]

Thanks!

said friend is now in a mood with me because I’ve booked the dream holiday with someone else!

 

[mermaidexoxo]

It’s a shame to lose a friendship. However I wouldn’t want to be friends with this person. She’s expecting you to wait until the time is right for her to go on a dream holiday. (I’m guessing long haul?) and that won’t happen any time soon if she’s so desperate to try for a baby.
& The fact it seems like their relationship is in tatters she should know herself that having a baby with this man is not the right thing to do and won’t fix the relationship.

Definitely cut your losses. This stress and upset is not worth it. Go with another friend and have a great time!

 

[Charsior]

Thank you!

things is I think he is fine with it!! It is his Mother who has now said 3 times to my friend about it! She said maybe she is right in a way cause it’s a lot of money etc and it’s not him involved

If its her money its her problem? i think its quite sad that MIL interfere like this.

Also flip it- how would his mum feel if he went away with his mates? Completely different I can assure you!

 

[Dontmissmuch]

I've been married over 25 years and for at least 20 of them I've always had weekends away with girlfriends (even when my 3 kids were small) ... several times a year.... the longest I've been away is a week with my sister to Tenerife and have also been on 4/5 night trips with the girls every year.... Hubby also goes away for long weekends with his friends.... we have weekends away together and holidays abroad and UK together also...... it's all about trust and having time apart - just because you're in a relationship or married doesn't mean you should be joined at the hip.....

If the holiday isn't for another 18 months/2 years and their relationship sounds a bit rocky I can't see it lasting the distance if they aren't happy now....... as long as you're not going to be out of pocket I'd keep the booking till the last possible time you can before you have to pay anymore......

Also..... it's nothing to do with the MIL really - he's a grown adult he should be making his own decisions (or they should as a couple).......

 

[Keikochan]

Maybe just let your friend chill for a bit. She will figure her shit out at some point. She prob just needs a little time to figure things out for herself. A baby is big decision and seems a bit spur of moment.

Meanwhile you should plan your dream holiday for yourself and go. You don't have to miss out cos she doesn't want to go anymore.

 

[birdiefly246]

Thanks!

said friend is now in a mood with me because I’ve booked the dream holiday with someone else!

WHAT?! Nah fuck her sorry. She said she wasn't going how is it fair that she's now saying you can't go with someone else?!

What were her reasons for not going?