Hen Do Horror Stories!

[lemonlime]

Not a horror story but a disappointment one. The bride brought her soon-to-be-husband to her hen-do (??) because they literally cannot do shit alone since they've started dating, and we thought we'd be together as the bride's friends that night. Confusion all around. The whole night ended up just being an awkward hangout at a bar and since we couldn't do the bridey stuff with this dude just chilling there, saying he doesn't want a drink and showering us with complaints about the bar and the noise, the club we went to after this bar was a total nightmare with almost everyone sober and bored. The couple looked around confused as a few of us tried to have fun but it's hard to be invested in a night out when you can feel that the guest of honour cannot give two shits, and instead staring at his man, asking "what do you wanna do?" At the end I ended up saying fuck this to myself and informed everyone that I'd be going home. I guess everyone else went home as well. The most bullshit hen-do I've ever seen/been to and I don't even enjoy this party wedding stuff to begin with. Never again lmao.

The only one I've actually enjoyed was my best friend's do, where like 6 of us met for a really nice dinner at a good restaurant. Some of us were meeting for the first time but it was great, everyone got along so well, the food and the drinks were delicious. Wouldn't want anything else for myself either.

 

[Holidaybobs]

Being invited on one.

 

[Be More Pacific]

Omg this thread is giving me the fear!

I am dreading being asked by my best friend of 30 years to help plan her hen party if she gets engaged to her boyfriend. It’s her first serious relationship and she acts like she is a relationship guru now

I just KNOW she will be a bridezilla. She’ll want to go away somewhere.

I didn’t have a hen party as I simply didn’t want one but she kept sending me spa day ideas etc. She just wouldn’t accept that I didn’t want to have one.

She can be a right bossy mare sometimes, I told my husband I would even dread being in her bridal party if I was asked. I’d much rather just be a guest and not be bossed about thank you very much!

Oh yeah, she is going to be a full on HORROR!

I'd cut ties now. Save yourself

 

[Barbie2020]

Before Covid my sister was planning my hen do and I felt the pressure to do an away hen do in the uk for a night. Reading this thread I’m now glad we will be doing something simple. I’ll be having a meal out and some cocktails (not clubbing it’s not my thing) and a spa day with my mum and sister. Some friends have babies and wouldn’t want to spend the night away so I think it will be nice to have something stress free and I’d rather everyone just have a nice time and not worry about spending loads of money.

 

[panda_eyes]

I absolutely hate hen dos. I've been to a few and I don't get to talk to my friend whose hen it it, I have to talk to people I don't know all night, there's always a big gang of "people from work" or "people from uni" that all know each other, and I'm not really good at meeting new people...I don't go to hen parties any more. It's too awkward and I explain to my friends that I would rather see them one on one than in a big crowd of people I don't know.

When I got married, I went for about ten or so different afternoon teas around the city where I now live with one or two of my friends each time, and I really loved it. I went back home to see my gang of friends from school and we had a tea party in my parents garden and everyone that wanted to made or brought cake with them to eat. It was the absolute best. I'm really glad that I have such understanding friends.

Thank goodness nobody has ever wanted me to be MoH and organise a big party! Waaaaay too much drama.

 

[Blakelycakey]

I really think Hen dos really show people’s true colours! I didn’t want a hen do my best friend persuaded me, said I needed a last hoorah. I didn’t have many friends and felt a bit ashamed. You always see Instagram photos of big girl gangs in Marbella having an amazing time and that’s not me.

Well best friend started to organise, it problem being I only had a few close friends which she doesn’t like as they are older than me and not into the party scene like my best friend. So she didn’t invite them I wasn’t aware and in the process offended them all by telling them that maybe they were a bit too old for it. She told me she would take care of all of the organisation. I’d heard nothing for weeks asking the girls but they kept saying I don’t know I just thought that they were keeping it secret. Wrong. In the end I got added into the whatsapp group as said friend hadn’t organised anything at all! now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a bridezilla (our wedding was small and chilled), I would have happily organised my hen do from the start but the fact she said she would do it and then didn’t bother or let me know that she couldn’t organise it I would have stepped in and sorted it.

With only three weeks to go, I had a nightmare of trying to find availability, confirming numbers etc. I found a great deal and asked people for deposits, well the amount of people that said yes I can go then no or I can’t because my cat needs me or just didn’t give me an answer and ignored me. It really effected me and got me down that maybe some people in my life who I adored didn’t feel the same about me, I know we all have commitments but if it’s a no just say no! Some paid me deposits and rest promised payday so I put it all on my credit card with the promise that they’d pay me nearer the time. We booked to go to Barcelona for the weekend nothng too fancy just basic accom and cheap flights. I ended up paying for myself and two other people who still haven’t paid me back or offered to pay me back.

On meeting at the airport my best friend decided to get very drunk and loud. I was terrified we wouldn’t be let on the flight. First night there we went to a bar and she went off with a group of lads called me boring for not wanting to go off with them (she also had a partner at this time) and then worried what if something happened to her! Luckily she made it home that night.

The next day I’d organised a nice meal but everyone was moaning and didn’t want to go as they’d rather get drunk fair enough! It honestly didn’t feel like my hen do, it felt like I was on a school trip trying to please everyone.

one of the girls I didn’t know very well we met through my daughter (now like a sister to me). Bless her she organised a makeup artist and a private area in a bar for me. My actual sister, best friend and Friend from school hadn’t bothered with anything not even a novelty sash. On arrival at the bar my best friend suddenly disappeared. Didn’t see her for most of the night then my sister stated that she’d seen her leave with the lad she pulled the night before. I didn’t see her for the rest of the hen which I suppose was a good thing.

All I can say is it’s made some of my friendships stronger and really highlighted one sided friendships. My best friend did apologise but I wouldn’t call her my best friend today. If I could go back, a nice meal and a club in my hometown would have been amazing! No pressure.

 

[potatowaffler]

I was forced to pay upfront (at least £280 for a weekend stay with night out in closest city) for a friend at a “surprise” location which would be revealed the day before the hen do for attendees. All very cryptic, was only told it would be ‘within two hours from London’. It turned out to be at a house 15 minutes from where I lived...!

 

[Pjta]

Mine isn't a hen but my sister has turned into an absolute bridezilla, she has moved her wedding to 5 days before mine. Hers got postponed last April and we was always booked for autumn this year. I think there's a bit of a race for who gets married first without me realising

 

[Gem_woody]

I always say no to any hen do invites I get- not for me thanks! I also politely declined being my friend's bridesmaid as I really didnt want to, luckily she understood. I hadn't even met her fiance ffs!
I'm not getting married so I don't expect people to do these things for me.. I don't feel guilty lol

 

[Fauxfurgilet]

I was left by my bridesmaids to plan my own. So I did. And paid my own way too (weekend in a family owned apartment, we just had flights to pay for)

Fast forward 5 years and my maid of honour gets married. I'm expected to plan her hen do, which I don't mind. But when I split the cost between all of us, her included, she says she didn't think the bride should pay

She wanted a few days in Spain! So we all ended up paying for her too and I'll forever be known as a mug

I wouldn't have minded paying for the bride, but the fact it wasn't a 'thing' until it was her that was the bride annoyed me!

I totally agree with this I really don’t think the hens should be expected to pay for the bride too!

My sister's hen do was an absoloute nightmare to plan and organise. I lost count of the amount of panic attacks it gave me. Have vowed NEVER EVER to plan another hen do again. Have also vowed to NEVER plan anything for my sister again, her friends were something else. Was so glad when her wedding was over so I didn't have to see or talk to them again. It sounds extreme but it was so stressful

I had a very similar experience. My best friend from school got married last year and I didn’t know all of her friends (she met them all at work). I was supposed to be organising with the other bridesmaids but one of them in particular was so bossy and domineering. The weekend itself was hell, none of them made any effort to include me as they all knew each other despite my efforts to integrate, they were rude, brash, embarrassing to be out with in public and I would honestly never go on another hen do again!!

I said a lot more than that! the first time we spoke after the hen party she EMAILED me and I asked that we spoke in person and that’s basically when she still stuck to her guns and said she expected more & I was like ‘ok whether you got a night in the pub and a pizza express or a week in the Bahamas you should have been grateful, right?’ But it didn’t sink in Then when she asked if I’d consider being just a guest at her wedding and not MOH I didn’t even dignify it with a response!

This story is awful!! I had a similar hen do experience and it left me feeling really low for a while afterwards, it sounds so dramatic but it was really horrible. So glad you didn’t dignify her ‘demotion’ with a response.

 

[Sp20191]

No horror stories because I’ve NEVER been to one

I will say some of my clients have told me some horror stories about bridezillas who expected them to pay for EVERYTHING!

 

[petitspois]

a group of women where not all of them know each other in advance is asking for trouble in my opinion. Leaving the rest of it aside, I've always been shocked just how long they take to get ready.....

 

[Hobbitsies]

I have a hen coming up and it is honestly just the disorganisation of it all!
The cost was originally going to be something like £60 and then without warning jumped up to £115 with a sorry we miscalculated if you could pay that ASAP that would be great as if we all have £55 sitting about in JANUARY. (How do you miscalculate £55????)
Then the address is in the middle on no where with no arrival time specified so no one knows if we are meant to be there before the bride or not and if we are meant to be there before no one has taken into account the fact that people are working as it is a Friday?

There is more but I’ll rant for ages so that is just the most recent stuff

I can update with any actual horror stories after the weekend!

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I planned my best friend of 20+ years’ hen party for her and about 9 others and it resulted in me being demoted from Made of Honour to a ‘guest’ which I declined and I’ve never spoketo her again since.

basically the long weekend in a beach-side loft apartment with day shopping and eating, chocolate making workshop & dinner at an Italian restaurant I’d planned and booked around her ‘friends’ who had no money was not appreciated and she literally asked me ‘is this all there is?’ as we stood on the beach in the blazing sunshine with a drink in hand.

edit; just to say Bride doesn’t drink and didn’t want a boozy/party hen do so I did my best!

I was so gobsmacked and to add insult to injury she let her ‘friends’ (basically work colleagues and sister in law so maybe that says a lot) walk all over me and tell me how much better they could have planned it. Bearing in mind i spent 6 months planning hers and rounding up money (which I put in a LOT more than them) and she said ‘sorry I don’t see how you could have spent so long planning this’.

it sent me into a bit of an anxiety spiral and for about a year afterwards I had major issues with my self esteem and not feeling good enough, I’ll never forgive her for it.

Did you tell her she was an ungrateful cow?

 

[Lovestolurk]

Got a hen do coming up that so far hasn’t been much of a drama although I’m just a guest and had nothing to do with organising it. It was originally going to be a couple of nights abroad but that didn’t happen because of the pandemic. I wasn’t going to go to this because I couldn’t really afford it & would rather have put the money towards a family holiday with my partner & kids as we haven’t been abroad for a few years. No one had an issue with people not being able to go, that was fine no drama. Anyway now its going to be hiring an area out in a nice pub with food and drinks, much cheaper so I’ve agreed to this, paid for my food up front etc. Few weeks later they’ve organised a whole day thing as well as travel to the pub. The price was starting to get a bit steep, what was planned wasn’t really my thing so I’ve just said I’m busy during the day and can only make it to the evening thing, they’re also planning on going to a club after the pub but I won’t be going to that either as I’m a bit skint atm. Problem is I think I’m the only person going straight to the pub, so I’m so nervous about walking into the pub on my own to a room of women some of who I barely know, don’t know at all, or are people I used to be good friends with but haven’t spoken to for years won’t be drinking either as I’ll be driving myself there and back so I’m worried I’m going to feel awkward all evening or be sat on my own. I’m friends with the bride obviously but doubt I will get much chance to actually speak to her as she has lots of friends & family attending. We have also been told that we can’t wear a certain colour to the hen do because the bride will be wearing that colour and that would be fine but I don’t have many ‘night out’ clothes and the one thing I was planning on wearing is the colour we’ve been told not to wear, so I really don’t know what I’m going to wear and im nervous as hell about the whole thing, I have some things in mind but haven’t got around to trying them on yet and the clock is ticking I’ve only got a few days left

I really wouldn’t want a hen do for myself I don’t think. If I did I would have to organise it myself and it wouldn’t be anything extravagant, probably just a meal somewhere decent then drinks after if I felt like it. But I really cba with the fuss and stress. I think having a hen do abroad is fine, but it’s also a big ask and you have to be prepared for people to not be able to go for a multitude of reasons. Although, people should also be up front from the start and not say they can go and then change their mind when its too late and everyone else has to pick up the burden.

Do what I do, write off the money, it’s paid whether you go or not. And then go sick, no one moans about it when you’ve paid because they think you showed commitment and must be genuine. See it that you’ve spent the money to swerve it and enjoy your evening in pjs with ice cream. Life is too short for crappy awkward nights out. Also the plus side of a pandemic is you only need to say you have covid symptoms and waiting on pcr and no one wants you anywhere near them x

 

[WilmaHun]

I've got a large family and all my cousins are mostly females, so I've been bridesmaid 6 times! Weird thing is I'm only really close to 2 of them but it's almost like in my family they think if you're a female you must be asked to be a bridesmaid.

Problem is, I'm the youngest - so they'll all expect to be bridesmaid for me when I get married (they've already expressed this) and they've all now had children too so will expect their children to be flowergirls too! One of my cousins was infuriated when the other cousin didn't ask her twins to be flower girls (despite the fact the bride had her own 2 doing it!). I think it's ridiculous that people think they can be entitled to be part of your bridal party, but whatever, that seems to be the status quo in my family!

This thread has made me think eloping and not telling anyone is the best way! I am very different to my cousins, who are all big drinkers - I don't drink at all. So I know if they did organise me a hen it would be something I'd absolutely hate!

Of all the hen do's I've been on, the thing that sticks in my mind is always how expensive it ends up being! You always get quoted £X amount then it just seems to keep creeping up and up and up. I'm always more than happy to chip in extra to pay for the bride, but it always just ends up in being a massive expense for something that isn't even that enjoyable!

The worst one was when we went to a theme park 4 hours from where we live - I was designated driver due to not being a drinker (we had an overnight stay so we could go out too) and not one person offered to chip in for fuel!

 

[Mac2211]

She bought you a wedding dress without your input?! Wow.

My ex mother in law to be did this it was the most vile thing I’ve ever seen. Imagine you smoke 40fags a year for 20 years and wore the same white dress the entire time. That’s what it looked liked. I had a lucky escape.

 

[sarahboo]

One hen I went to, I was a friends plus one as they needed to make up numbers cost wise as a few people had dropped out. My friend didn't want to go really so I said I'd go for moral support (loved a night out & I did feel sorry for her that so many people dropped out), had to buy a personalised top which the hen charged me £25 for (found out they were much cheaper but whatever I'd agreed to go). I'd paid for my taxi & club entry in advanced like they asked, so we arrive at a restaurant, I think that's fine I'll just have a light dinner & a few cocktails thinking I'm just paying for me so I get a starter as a main & one cocktail so hardly spent anything, no one frigging told me til the bill came round we were dividing it so the bride didn't have to pay (fair enough I guess but advanced warning would have been nice) so that set me back a few quid then at the club I just spent a fortune on rounds of drinks for everyone & on those stupid keyrings everyone got because a few people made comments on why I was there & that'd they'd paid so much more than I had & they'd put money behind the bar (fair enough) some bloke tried to hit on me even tho I was uncomfortable but the girls were pushing him into me even more, bouncer got involved, I got one of the girls wee on my shoes & feet, our taxi on the way home someone had vommed in prior & itd been badly cleaned to a point where someone else vommed so we all had to split the bill for cleaning because even though I was sober enough at this point to know who vommed no one believed me so to avoid agg I just split it. Haha such a crap night that it sounds made up, but trust me, I lived it.

Hens in my experience are over priced & over hyped, no one I know actually enjoyed them & there's always a moan after. Like every hen I've been to something crap has happened. When I was planning mine everyone was getting the hump with what I wanted to do, so I just said no to a hen. So many of my friends have had drama as well waiting for money or people dropping out, we have also had the opposite with people going to the extreme to a point where we were all skinting ourselves to pander to the bride.

 

[lemonlime]

I have had friends cut me out of their lives for not being able to afford to attend their hen or their wedding on the other side of the country. This was 5 or 6 years ago and it still bothers me how nasty people can be. Thank god I didn’t waste the money!

I find this mindblowing because if I were getting married and a friend I really wanted at my whatever event couldn't afford to come, I wouldn't dream of resenting them for it and I would try to cover their costs if I had the means, so that they could come. If people are cutting you out for not being able to burn hundreds of pounds on a probably boring drunken night or two, then you are much better off without them.

 

[Hurrah54]

Just been reading this thread and sorry if I seem strange liking posts from a year ago... I thought they were written Feb 2021 not 2020

I find hen dos quite awkward because it's the bringing together of one person's friends from all different walks of life. I just didn't really get on with my sister's uni friends or work colleagues I always find it really expensive as well. I am a bit of an introvert though and find situations like that quite tiring!

I sound such a hoot...