Hen Do Horror Stories!

[Pickminy]

To add to my previous post... I did also organise my best friends hen do prior to my sisters. It was an absoloute breeze in comparison! Everyone was laid back (including the bride) and just paid what they needed, when they needed to and everyone enjoyed themselves.

I do think hen dos are way too over the top nowadays and a lot of it is done for social media. Someone I'm close to is off on a hen do for 4 nights long haul and flights alone are in the region of £300-£400. By the time they've paid accommodation, activities, spending money etc... It's looking to be in the £1000 region. The person I know who is going cant afford it so the majority is going on cc. It's madness to me! Luckily I don't know the bridezilla so it's not my problem

 

[flamingo29]

I was supposed to go on a hen do last month for a work colleague but obviously was cancelled.

I’ve decided after reading this thread I am not going to attend if it is rearranged as this has confirmed that I really don’t like them and was only going to be polite

 

[Herefortheteeeee]

They were no friends.

Nope. Exactly. I was also having an awful time of it with an ex. They didn’t bother checking on me. I said I couldn’t come to the wedding as I couldn’t afford it and they cut me out. Deleted me off Facebook and never spoke to me again.

 

[Dak1988]

I hate unreasonable hen dos. I don't know how anyone would be self absorbed enough to be comfortable with people chipping in for them to have very extravagant activities and holidays abroad. Sorry but I don't love you that much to justify it funnily enough my dearest friends never expected me to pay for them.

That’s so true! I find it really uncomfortable and cheeky when expected to pay for the bride. I am not unsociable or miserable but I will defo not be having a hen do!

 

[Scvee13]

Have been MOH three times. I'm never organising another hen party again, told my sister to be prepared for that if she wants me to be hers. The chasing of money and people moaning just isn't worth it. Then people drop out and expect to be reimbursed when the hotel package deals don't do refunds.

 

[Lovestolurk]

Before Covid my sister was planning my hen do and I felt the pressure to do an away hen do in the uk for a night. Reading this thread I’m now glad we will be doing something simple. I’ll be having a meal out and some cocktails (not clubbing it’s not my thing) and a spa day with my mum and sister. Some friends have babies and wouldn’t want to spend the night away so I think it will be nice to have something stress free and I’d rather everyone just have a nice time and not worry about spending loads of money.

Sounds great. And I think after lockdown and the year we’re had everyone is going to be up for meals and cocktails with the girls. Perfect night out x

 

[flamingo29]

The hen do I was meant to go on last summer was cancelled and I cannot lie I was so happy about it

If it gets rearranged and I am still invited then I am going to be ‘busy’ whatever the date is

 

[Onthehop]

Reading through this thread I’m grateful I refused to have a hen do. Nightmares.

 

[MissTeddy]

My sister in law asked me to be chief bridesmaid and the kids to be flower girls/pageboys

That was fine

What wasn’t fine is the fact she turned into bloody bridezilla

Her mindset seemed to be ‘I want this that and the other but I don’t want to pay for it-it’s my day and everyone else should pay for it’

She forced/guilt tripped me into buying outfits in one colour-then changed her mind (I almost got into debt)

Had me running round town for her-at my own cost-for whatever it was she wanted that day

I could fill the thread with everything but you get the idea-this went on for 9 months-every bloody day brought new demands at a cost to either me or someone else as she wanted it all for free

So anyway-I had to sort the hen do

At the time I was a single mum to 6 so not had loads of spare cash-I was also bringing up kids/school/nursery runs/collage/working part time

I organised a lovely day at a spa (her idea)

I got (forced) all her mates to cough up as I didn’t have the money to pay upfront and some of em thought I’d sub them-I’m talking about 12 hens and over two grand (I paid almost £300 out of my own money on top of everything else I was forced to pay for)

Went to a lot of trouble to sort all this out and make her day special-in fact I made myself ill over the stress of it all

She then uninvited me on the day-an hour before we where due to set off for this spa day cos ‘you’ll find it hard to get childcare’ (I had in fact sorted childcare) and invited a mate of hers to take my place at my expense-she hadn’t lifted a finger to sort any of this apart from to ring me all the sodding time with more demands

so on the day itself I stood on her dress (accidentally) and tore it a tiny bit-I’m talking a few stitches

She screamed at me for being ‘an idiot’ and how ‘she could just punch me’

I made it to the wedding breakfast without punching her-(tempted tho) then I saw red-and I stole their wedding cake-snuck it out the building and gave it to my kids for breakfast the following morning

We don’t speak anymore...

she sounds like a hideous person and you’re better off without her in your life. X

 

[Katykatykaty]

You win the thread! That sounds utterly horrendous

The crazy thing is since writing that post I’ve thought of so many more awful things that happened as part of that hen do/wedding. It all came flooding back and I genuinely can’t believe it all happened.

I just remembered that on the morning of the wedding, I was totally ignored by the bride and her mother so the hair and makeup artists made such a fuss over me as they could tell I was feeling like shit. They kept asking why the bride was ignoring me, I literally had no answer.

 

[coriander]

I hate unreasonable hen dos. I don't know how anyone would be self absorbed enough to be comfortable with people chipping in for them to have very extravagant activities and holidays abroad. Sorry but I don't love you that much to justify it funnily enough my dearest friends never expected me to pay for them.

 

[Heyguysswipeup]

I have never been on one and after reading these stories I am pretty glad about that. Do men go through the same stoopid shit with their stags, I wonder?

Nope they don’t and that’s what annoys me a lot! Why do us women (especially those organising the hen do) have this pressure and expectation to organise an extravagant hen party?! Why do we need to make goody bags?! All the men do is get drunk can you imagine the stags turning up with matching goody bags

 

[DietGossip]

Not to sound ungrateful but mine was crap.
I don’t drink. My friends drove me to the nearest town, they had no real
Plans when we got there. Then decided it was best to go to a bar. They got very drunk by about 3pm. They then decided they wanted to go to karaoke. We went, they got drunker.
I asked could we pleaseee get some dinner, one coped a massive strop. I ended up driving us home, stopping at the McDonald’s drive thru on the way home. Where I ended up Paying for the order for them all. Was home and watching tv on the sofa by 8pm.

These were always the friends who got so drunk at my wedding one of them decided to have a melt down and go round telling everyone had dad had just died ( he hadn’t, he’s still alive and well. but my mum has died recently before) and the other got caught having sex in full view in a boat ( we got married at a sailing club)

Needless to say I havnt spoke to them much lately.

Definitely should've just left them in town with no lift, they sound super ungrateful.

 

[mcfeez]

I can't believe some of the stories on here. When I was younger a hen night comprised of the hen, her best friends and family, and we'd go out for an evening meal and dance the night away. Everyone got to know each other and a good time, with lots of surprises, was had.

These days that doesn't seem to be good enough and brides want to outdo each other, there can be so much upset it's unbelievable and totally unnecessary.

It's absolutely crazy now isn't it! I work with a guy who had his stag in Las Vegas and his wife to be headed off to Dubai (for context, we live in Ireland). I couldn't believe it. Those were two (pretty pricey) trips my husband I have taken as a couple the past few years!

 

[HoGi]

That sounds horrific.

It was horrific. I dreaded it during the run up. Got there and me and two other girls were trying to work out if we could bail

The class itself was painful and we only learnt a routine to the first half of the song. At the wedding when it came on and the DJ said I understand the hens have a routine they want to show us I could have died

 

[Nolongerjustalurker]

A friend’s hen do and wedding (in another part of the U.K. so involved flights, hotels and car hire on top of hen do activities, and costs at the wedding) put me in £2000 worth of credit card debt we didn’t even do anything that extravagant just everything kept adding up..

 

[ElectricDreams]

I've only been on one hen do (my sister's) and I would never do another. It wasn't that bad really, just my idea of hell being surrounded by 20 women (17 of whom I barely knew!) We had a weekend in Liverpool, renting 5 apartments between us. I had to share with my mum, sisters MIL, and SIL, MILs cousin and a random friend who knew no one at all (who turned out to be absolutely lovely) MIL kept smoking in the apartment even though it was banned. SIL turned up late and was a diva throughout. MIL (the smoker) used girl who knew no one's toothbrush

Chief bridesmaid made us stump up an extra tenner each for cocktails and nibbles before we went out, ended up being a couple of bottles of rum and some cocktail sausages. There were really awkward games where we had to discuss our embarrassing sex stories (learned far more about my mother than I bargained for that night ) We dressed up in circus theme fancy dress (there were 12 mimes and 5 clowns, no one had communicated )
Cousin got drunk and threw up all over the VIP area of the club so we had to take her home early.

No one thought to arrange anything for the middle day in Liverpool so we broke off into separate groups and did our own thing. There were 2 different friendship groups and 2 family groups (plus the girl who knew no-one, who ended up with us) so it was really weird and we never felt like we really spent it together.

I'm definitely not having a hen do. Not like that anyway. Afternoon tea or a nice meal will be fine, no need for fancy dress or plastic willy straws for me, thank you!

 

[Babyyoda88]

This is so bizarre, I can't imagine why a person would choose to behave like this! The only explanation I can come up with is that they were secretly salty about you getting married?? It's crazy that they never revived the friendship either.

It was very bizarre and I was really disappointed because I thought may be she never really liked me. But ah well sometimes it’s not a bad thing if people’s true colours are exposed.

 

[Eastonell]

I've got a large family and all my cousins are mostly females, so I've been bridesmaid 6 times! Weird thing is I'm only really close to 2 of them but it's almost like in my family they think if you're a female you must be asked to be a bridesmaid.

Problem is, I'm the youngest - so they'll all expect to be bridesmaid for me when I get married (they've already expressed this) and they've all now had children too so will expect their children to be flowergirls too! One of my cousins was infuriated when the other cousin didn't ask her twins to be flower girls (despite the fact the bride had her own 2 doing it!). I think it's ridiculous that people think they can be entitled to be part of your bridal party, but whatever, that seems to be the status quo in my family!

This thread has made me think eloping and not telling anyone is the best way! I am very different to my cousins, who are all big drinkers - I don't drink at all. So I know if they did organise me a hen it would be something I'd absolutely hate!

Of all the hen do's I've been on, the thing that sticks in my mind is always how expensive it ends up being! You always get quoted £X amount then it just seems to keep creeping up and up and up. I'm always more than happy to chip in extra to pay for the bride, but it always just ends up in being a massive expense for something that isn't even that enjoyable!

The worst one was when we went to a theme park 4 hours from where we live - I was designated driver due to not being a drinker (we had an overnight stay so we could go out too) and not one person offered to chip in for fuel!

Oh god this makes me sooooo glad we had a tiny tiny wedding. We both have big families but we aren’t close to cousins etc. I invited them to the evening but that was it. Ceremony was small with immediate family only and I had my sister in law and best friend as bridesmaids. I had a small hen do too, I’m not one for fuss and not a big drinker either so we had a nice meal with close friends and family then drinks afterwards, not a single dick straw in sight…

I honestly think family members who get sour about how you plan your own wedding and who you want to be involved are mental. You do you!

 

[petra23]

I went to my friends 'home' hen do about 3 weeks before lockdown. Her Mum and Sister had organised it. She told me that she asked them to keep it quite low key, she just wanted a nice afternoon tea style event that she could actually enjoy and spend time with her friends and family. Instead they got us a VIP table in a club, which we all had to pay for at the door. We couldn't chat to each other over the music and the bride left at 10.30 in floods of tears because her sister had called her an ungrateful spoiled bitch

I also went to one in Marbella, it was unbelievably expensive and I had my handbag stolen... it was a cross body bag and they literally snipped the straps whilst we were in a queue and ran off with all my money, phone and passport. Luckily they dumped my passport and it was handed into a local police station! I had to hide on the balcony to cry on the phone to my bf because I didn't want to spoil the weekend for the bride!