VIDEO SUMMARY:
Vlogmas Day 6
The Christmas Spreadsheet
Helga seems to have fallen off the schedule train already, does she upload at 9pm? 6pm? Who the
duck knows anymore. Maybe the element of surprise is supposed to be fun?
Judging by the title of this vlog WE ARE IN FOR A TREAAAAAT
Starting off with her gulping down her cup of tea (or mug of wine) "Oh god... I drank sooo much tea taday... it's jast bin sa coald that all I want is just 'ot liquid runnin' through ma body"
It's a new week.... she's telling us yet again that she's only uploading Monday to Friday (because she's a lazy fook) and will be filming stuff over the weekend to upload on Monday.
witch needs her weekends off from pressing a button, and she doesn't want to "worry about the upload". She just wants to enjoy the weekend a bit more. And to just "have a bit of a break" she laughs.
View attachment 339753
She had a really nice weekend, she had a chilled Saturday morning watching some trash TV, had a "barf" (bath), did her virtual borefest (wreath making... again). Now she's telling us... again... how she "normally" would be going to the work shop together.
"But obviously because of URGHMMM" She can't even say pandemic or corona, she just has to pathetically make a noise, roll her eyes and pull weird facial expressions:
View attachment 339758
Tells people to go watch the video, judging by the piss poor view count - no one
bleeping wants to, Helga.
After her wreath making she watched a bunch of Christmas films. Sunday she met up with her sister and GEORGE and did a coastal walk, and now we get a flash back in slow motion, yay.
Oh god... she even placed the camera down and ran off just to do her walking back while talking bit. She's so
bleeping lame. Here she comes waddling towards us, telling us how she reached the summit and that they're going to have some cake. Waddle waddle.
Now she interviews her sister and George... Hayley says the walk has been good... George sarcastically says he's having the time of his life. This interview goes on for a bit. They've all had some cake and now they're going off to get some fish and chips.
"There's a boat there, which for a moment I thought was a whale" Says Hayley, "Maybe it was a whale... there!" as Helga comes into shot and now it's the whale's... I mean her turn for an interview with the camera to announce that they're going back now
View attachment 339765
"FILWHIP have yer ad a nice tyme?"
Fil finally enunciates today "It's been lovely, yes"
Helen is proud that Fil used his words properly. "Yes, lovely time darling"
More slow mo montage as they head into town for their fish and chips. Now we get to watch them all stuff their faces while talking "FIRTEEN PAOWNDS FOR ALL DIS!" Helga loves bargain food.
Back to present day Helga, telling us that when she got back they watched a reaaallly cool movie called Host which was filmed during lockdown on Zoom, and she tells us that when she was editing her wreath making vlog with her zoom call she got the heebie jeebies that there was a ghost in her footage.
Getting on with today, Monday's are usually her "setting up" day where she plans the week ahead, so we cut to footage of her tidying up her house.. again... she might even do a bit of laundry too (ooh!).
Monday's she likes to straighten up the office too - because she does sooooo much work in there obvs. She does a bit of a hoover and a bit of a clean so she can have a nice working environment again.
She also does "life stuff" like "life admin" (eg bill paying) and plan the rest of the week so she gets her diary up... we can see she's super busy... look how chockablock that calendar is!
View attachment 339776
She's figuring out what she's doing for the rest of the week and what she's uploading... which is nothing by the looks of her diary... I thought she was well proud of her spreadsheet before December hit?
"Monday's are also FOOD DAY!" says Helga, with a twinkle in her eye and a big smile on her face, she's got the dog's food and gusto delivered.
She's sitting her now, already planned her week and already edited her vlog. She's feeling content and on top of the world.
So other than the update, she wants to share with us THE SACRED CHRISTMAS SPREADSHEET! (Probably to prove herself to Tattle)
"WOAH THERE! I know wot yer finking, 'WOAH THERE! WOT? A
CHRISTMAS SPREADSHEET?!'" No Helen, no one is thinking that... we are all sitting here thinking
why the
duck this is classed as content.
She's a huge fan of spreadsheets.... (except when she complained about having to use them when doing her taxes....
)
"I FORT 'YER KNOW WOT? I'M GUNNA SHARE THE CHRISTMAS SPREADSHEET TODAY!' THAT'S IN THE VEIN OF THE VLOG RIGHT? YEAH? COOL! OKAY! ORGANIZING! CHRISTMAS SPREADSHEET" Helen clearly has run out of ideas for vlogmas already....
Right... hold on folks... I need to pause and get myself ready for this
tit.
Jesus Christ. Okay. Here we go.
She created this
tit at the end of October, beginning of November because she was excited for Christmas and wanted something to look forward to, and she wanted to feel like she was in control more this year. Last year she was unorganised and disappointed in herself and she said to herself that this year she has GOT to raise the bar "AND I HAVE" she says....
She wanted to make sure that by making the spreadsheet she wasn't buying anything she didn't need and that she "wasn't gunna waste ANY FOOD!" (That sounds like Filwhip talking)
Now here we go... we're going to see the spreadsheet! I'm so excited I might wee myself!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh god Helen, STOP SAYING HOW MUCH YOU LOVE A SPREADSHEET, WE GET IT YOU LOVE IT, YOU WANT TO MARRY IT. GET ON WITH IT FFS.
"I'm getting... I'm getting, I'm learning how to used spreadsheets, like formulas and stuff like that" and now she lists when she uses spreadsheets..... like writing lists for holidays, money stuff, itineraries... you name it... and because Christmas is spread out over a period of time... she started making.... y'know... A
bleeping SPREADSHEET, WE GET IT.
First on the sheet is food. Obvs.
"It's really not that impressive, BUT PEOPLE KEEP ASKING" No,
bleeping stop right there Missy... NO ONE asked for this
tit. Not a single
bleeping soul. Don't you blame this
tit on us.
She loves getting her Christmas food from M&S and this year she's also done a Waitrose shop "Now every now and then I'll shop at these places, but these are generally deemed as "TREAT SHOPS"
View attachment 339800
"A little bit of EXTRAAAAA" she flaps.
View attachment 339804
"Granted" she always buys more than she needs, so this year she was a bit more cautious, a little bit more reserved (lol) and reeeeeally thought about it as there's only two of them and now SAVAGE is coming along too so that makes three...
So now she's made a Christmas menu and has put everything she's bought so far (so far being the key words there), so everything is accounted for and nothing gets wasted.
And here it is!
View attachment 339831
Christmas eve is FIL's birthday so it's mystery, mystery on the menu. Xmas day is.... OH MY GOD NO ONE CARES.
Skipping through all this... I can hear her drooling already. Basically she's drinking all day everyday... what's new there?
Boxing day she's doing a new tradition of having a BBQ - she's well quirky
She's on to the next tab which is presents.... and it's blank because she doesn't want any spoilers.... so we're looking at a BLANK spreadsheet.....
Here's the main people she's buying for
View attachment 339833
and now she explains how a list works... (basically you type what you need to buy in the need to buy bit and when you bought it you move it to the bought cell! MAGIC!)
She would make
another spreadsheet, called the "Plan of Christmas" but she knows having a Christmas day itinerary would stress her out because she's a control freak who has to have everything her way. Reminder... there's only THREE people there... THREE.
oh, now she changes her mind "Oh no I do need to make an itinerary... I NEED TO MAKE A CHRISTMAS PLAN"
duck, she's doing this for content.....
She makes a list and says that she's taking FIL away for the night on his birthday.... seeing his parents on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day...
View attachment 339841
She feels better writing all this down because her brain gets overwhelmed.
"If there's any other people wiv plans... let me know" she says to her spreadsheet.
She has to write it all the details down because she forgets things all the time... (like how to make interesting content)
That's all.