VIDEO SUMMARY:
Vlogmas Day 3 - The First Gift Guide
"welcome to vlogmas number........ Three!" Helga is struggling to remember which number we're up to already. Oh dear.
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This morning she was going to get up and do some editing but her sister was in town so
duck work - they're out and about today!
A quick run down of what she's done today:
Got up
Had advent calendar
Went for a run "that was pretty fresh"
Did a tiny bit of editing "15 minutes worth"
And now she came into town!
Sulks that they cant really do much (because of old 'rona innit) but they've got a takeaway coffee and a pastry, now they're sitting around having a good old catch up while the dogs lick whatever this
tit is on the floor
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it's been "mumphs" since she's last seen her sister. I don't believe that - this is Helen we're talking about.
She has great social distancing skillz and loves passing that dog lead around to everyone she sees doesn't she?
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She plans to finish up and walk around town a bit more.
Back home now and she's got an ASOS parcel on her door step. She's doing that thing where she's set up the camera to watch her walk in the front door... but really she's got to go back out to get the sodding camera. But this is her being 'creative' - and it's well quirky.
Back home and she's still going on about her sister asking her out for a coffee 'last minute' but not really last minute - it was almost like a spur of the moment thing.... so last minute then, yeah?
She re-got ready at home because she had to rush getting ready earlier. And we all know how she loooves getting a full face of slap on for a full day of
duck all.
On the way home she went to Marks and Spencer (of course she did) and she reaaaaaaally fancied THIS..... THIS!!! THIS!!!! .....wait what the
duck is it? nothing is in focus... oh it's an xmas themed sausage roll.
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(If only she looked at Fil the way she does food...)
Cut to her eating it now... content.... oh she says she dropped it on the floor, but it's ok because of the three second rule "and it's my house" so we all know what great hygiene old piss fingers has...
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(content)
Now we're off upstairs for something "very very exciting!!!", and we can't go up the stairs without setting the camera up to get a full arse shot on the way up!
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"IT'S GIFT GUYYYYYYED TIME!!!!"
Oh and she's now saying she's exhausted from going up the stairs.
In her dressing room now..... because her moving all her work into her office clearly worked out for her... She says she know it's not the most festive place to do it but she cant be arsed to carry everything downstairs and then back upstairs again once she's finished filming, so
duck festive vibez - we have to put up with her palm tree wallpaper and drawers as a background, because Vlogmas this year is alllll about the bare minimum
"as much as I love my job, and I love you, and I'm dedicated to the cause. I just don't need that much cardio. Today I've already been for a run and run up the stairs. ALSO! I don't sometimes know what time Fil gets home from work, and like yesterday he surprised me and I don't want 'im comin' 'ome mid filmin' seein' all da guds on da floor...."
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What the
duck is this speech... it's your house. Just text him you're filming, dipshit.
She says she's getting her gift guide
tit done early because people are eager to buy xmas pressies early.... this is early for her?? I've seen better gift guides in mid November... now that's early! She did her xmas shopping back in October cos she's well keen and she was well bored, and she wasn't going to make the same mistake as last year by leaving it to the last minute.
We've got a mixture of
tit that she's bought and some
tit that she's been sent. She really really wants to help push and promote small businesses, but she's not going to solely look at gifts from there we have some high street
tit mixed in too.
Her camera keeps going in and out of focus. Perhaps if she stopped
bleeping swaying around like a drunken monkey..........Oh and she edited in a burp. Nice.
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Dogs bark - that means Fil has entered the building. Causing her to go wide eyed and have a mini freak out "he's fuckin' 'ome! I new dis wud 'appen"
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And now she's singing hello to him.... and rolling her eyes around.... what is this
bleeping content....? She seems like she's actually been drinking...
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"HOWS LIFE?" she yells, whilst messing up her hair....
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Bald patch is revealed
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And now we're witnessing the most incredibly boring conversation between her and Fil... she's asking if something is for her? "It looks pretty small to be a PRADA BAG!!!!" she shouts
Back to business now....
First small business she's promoting is..... oh... wait.... it's Truffle Shuffle, her regular gifter.
She got a bunch of Friends themed
tit cos she loooooves Friends. (I swear she doesn't, lol)
Socks is what she's chosen. She picks up some red socks.... and gets confused... they're just red socks.....
Next on the "I've wanted this for ages but it's ALWAYS been sold out" list is..... The Never Ending Story Gnomes for plant pots. She loves the film so much she can't remember the characters names "that 'eart brakin' bit when 'is 'orse fell in ta da swamp" Basically you put them in your plant pot and it looks like they're drowning. "it's pretty morbid... BUT IT'S COOOOOOL!!!"
Next is play that tune game for her nieces. And her big big sister gets a friends puzzle. Hayley gets a labyrinth tshirt. Hayley's boyfriend gets a Star Wars tshirt.
Next is a shop she discovered through instagram ads... Sculpd - a diy clay pottery kit, a pastel paint kit and a candle making kit.
Next is Not on The High Street - a toasting marshmallow kit.
Punchy drinks is next, (gifted?) she got a case of mixers
Wolf and Badger is next, she got a set of rock n roll oven gloves for Ellie "it's a lol gift"
Gin Christmas crackers is next because she wanted something a bit more "specialer"
She's not even stating which ones are gifted.... but Bare Minerals gift sets are next and she's gushing over the products and has decided she's going to keep these for herself.
Body Shop next.... again another (undeclared) gifted.
She leans over to the side to let out a long, loud, wet sounding fart.... "OH MY GOD DID YOU HEAR THAT?" she yells to Fil "THAT WAS MY BUM!!!"
Now she's asking Fil if he heard that and all we can hear is mumbling from the other room.
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Back to the guide.... she wants
tit that she wouldnt usually buy herself like an expensive candle she she really want's but shouldn't get herself
Reveals her mum is a massive Mrs Hinch fan.
She advertises a Ā£15 car air freshener because she thinks they make brilliant stocking fillers "it's such a treat!"
She doesn't have any more shopping to do, but she will still advertise shite on her Instagram.
She's going to do a shout out a small list of indie brands that she's been suggested on Instagram.
That's it for the gift guide. She's downstairs and Fil must be filming because the camera is shakey as
duck. Dinner has been eaten - chilli and chips because she wanted some comfort food.
She's got gifted a bunch of
tit which she's unboxing now and
duck me, Fil, stop shaking the camera. Oh and the lights are flickering away... wait didn't she say in vlogmas day #1 she HATES flickering lights??
She was sooo overwhelmed with her gifted shite. Im soooo not interested now. Especially since she can't pronounce the product's name "kellen-burger-need-a-lee-gan-dee"
Her and Fil don't know what a plant atomizer is called.
And that was vlogmas number three "i'm losing count already"
That's all.
Iām sure some of the things Iāve said here before contradict what I just said too, I flip flop. Every couple of days she does something that makes me retract all sympathy (like all her lockdown bullshit and fighting anyone who criticise her). I think itās always hard to figure out (even thinking about my own mental health) whatās okay to excuse and whatās something you have to learn to deal with and do better.
