I have never seen a caterpillar cake at anybody's birthday, wtf is that about? Is it really a British tradition? I'm British but have never seen or heard of it.
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I think it is in some families to be fair
A 24 minute video with 8 ads.. talking about caterpillar cake, beans on toast and explaining what a cheeky Nandos is. How can this be a justified career? 
I had one once when I was a kid. Peter Kay made a joke about a caterpillar cake once, if I remember rightly. Other than that, I have no idea!
Sarky tit 
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Where the other 999 subs are going every month. Huh, Helen? XxSarky tit
VIDEO SUMMARY: THE BRITISH ARE STRANGE | ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS ABOUT BRITS
Firstly, this video has eight adverts (thank duck for ad blockers)
Secondly, it’s the gravy stained walking group jumper
She got this idea from a video she saw on tiktok or somewhere, so whoever it was won’t get any credit
Colin the Caterpillar is apparently a “no brainer” when it comes to birthdays... yeah if you’re like 5...
Caterpillars scare the tit out of her but she “requires” one in cake form... you know what they say - to face your fear... just eat cake!
She made it clear that it was all for fun, she didn’t want anything gross or political, nothing patriotic
“Some of the questions here were actually quite hilar” Yes you read that right... she ACTUALLY shortened the word hilarious to “hilar”
Stutters in an absolutely vile high pitched squeaking tone “I might not even know all the answers!” - if it’s not about food or drinking then no, you probably won’t know Helen
Question 1 is about roundabouts, Helen explains how roundabouts work - do people not have google?
Question 2 is about having a washing machine in the kitchen - this is riveting stuff. Helen says it’s because of space and it’s the only logical place it could go...
Question 3 is about food (Quirkerz will be pleased), specifically about having a fry up when you’re hungover. Helen doesn’t know how to explain it, but says she always goes for a veggie option she don’t want that much meat in the morning (lol) she says it’s just a lot.... Helen... saying it’s a lot
“It’s usually sort of a treat breakfast really... it’s just an epic breakfast... it just soaks it all up... one bad thing after another bad thing really”
Question 4 is about how to pronounce the Tube... really we’re asking HELEN how to pronounce things??? Then goes on to say tube over and over and says “we can’t can’t read, we can’t speak!”
Question 5 isn’t actually a question she just says “Mooshy peas” she says she never liked them but they’re growing on her. They’re a bit “odd tasting” - wut? they’re bleeping peas...
“They’re perfect with fish and chips... and curry sauce obvs” then looks off into the distance... Yep she’s thinking about food.
“oooooh yeah... mushy peas...”
Question 15 ....OH MY GOD IM SO bleeping BORED YET STILL DEDICATED.... is about rolls being called baps or bread cakes. Baps is a northern thing.... and also a southern thing she says “I dunno it’s just a roll... I dunno why we can’t just all agree that it’s a roll”
“Different floats different boats.... different strokes...?”
“Baaaaap”
Question 16 is about the royal family and she pulls a face saying she “I’m not getting into that tit, leave them alone”
Question 17 is about tea “what is with the tea? You can’t say that tit round ‘ere” cos she gets freebies from tea pigs and she’ll be damned if she bad mouths a tea bag!!
And now she’s trying to find the right words to do the tea justice.
The ode to tea; by Helen Anderson:
“it’s the ice breaker
its the cheerer upper
it’s the pick me up in the morning
it’s the I’m chilling out in the evening
it’s the I’m feeling sad let’s put the kettle on
you see your family, you ‘ave a cup of tea
you finish dinner and have a cup of tea”
“If you’re British and you don’t like tea, there’s something wrong with you... hahaha! no shade ahahhahaha” but really shade
She never gets tea from Starbucks or other chain places cos they don’t do that tit right It’s got to be an independent cafe or a greasy spoon
Question 18 bus drivers waving at each other (really....? Someone asked this?) “that’s bleeping cool” she loves when people in vehicles wave at each other and noticed in Scotland other camper vans were waving at them “And it was soooo exciting” .......... “I was like “right, come on FIL we gotta be alert now””
And when they saw a camper and coming they were like:
and celebrated when they got a wave back:
They sound so fun.
Question 27 is about tea..... Ok I’m out now this is the most boring sloppy ass video and there’s still just under 10 minutes left I just can’t
Im guessing her upload anxiety bullshit has gone now as she’s uploading while she’s away
(Edit: added Spoiler tags for some questions because this post was so flipping long lol)
Firstly, this video has eight adverts (thank duck for ad blockers)
Secondly, it’s the gravy stained walking group jumper
She got this idea from a video she saw on tiktok or somewhere, so whoever it was won’t get any credit
Colin the Caterpillar is apparently a “no brainer” when it comes to birthdays... yeah if you’re like 5...
Caterpillars scare the tit out of her but she “requires” one in cake form... you know what they say - to face your fear... just eat cake!
She made it clear that it was all for fun, she didn’t want anything gross or political, nothing patriotic
“Some of the questions here were actually quite hilar” Yes you read that right... she ACTUALLY shortened the word hilarious to “hilar”
Stutters in an absolutely vile high pitched squeaking tone “I might not even know all the answers!” - if it’s not about food or drinking then no, you probably won’t know Helen
Question 1 is about roundabouts, Helen explains how roundabouts work - do people not have google?
Question 2 is about having a washing machine in the kitchen - this is riveting stuff. Helen says it’s because of space and it’s the only logical place it could go...
Question 3 is about food (Quirkerz will be pleased), specifically about having a fry up when you’re hungover. Helen doesn’t know how to explain it, but says she always goes for a veggie option she don’t want that much meat in the morning (lol) she says it’s just a lot.... Helen... saying it’s a lot
“It’s usually sort of a treat breakfast really... it’s just an epic breakfast... it just soaks it all up... one bad thing after another bad thing really”
Question 4 is about how to pronounce the Tube... really we’re asking HELEN how to pronounce things??? Then goes on to say tube over and over and says “we can’t can’t read, we can’t speak!”
Question 5 isn’t actually a question she just says “Mooshy peas” she says she never liked them but they’re growing on her. They’re a bit “odd tasting” - wut? they’re bleeping peas...
“They’re perfect with fish and chips... and curry sauce obvs” then looks off into the distance... Yep she’s thinking about food.
“oooooh yeah... mushy peas...”
Question 6 is about washing dishes. She says it’s down to the individual if they rinse with water after washing or not.
Question 7 is about chip sandwiches and someone said they tasted bland, “rude” she snarks “first of all it’s a chip butty” (uh oh they’ve angered the beast) then goes on to describe in detail how to make a chip sandwich. She’s practically drooling.
Tells them to add ketchup cos “that’s where you’re going wrong my friend... it’s not meant to be full of flavour it’s all about the stodge experience” yep all about the stodge for the podge (sorry too mean, but hey it rhymed)
Question 8 more food, this time about beans at breakfast - this video is so fun! She can’t answer because she doesn’t know any different. “You get the stodginess from the bean itself... they add the saucy bit that you dip your bits in”
Question 9 is about greeting people with “you alwite?” Helen struggles with this cos she says it all the time. Has an demonstration of how the conversation goes and says it’s like “verbally nodding” (yes that makes sense to non Brit folk, well explained, Jesus) More demonstrations of “you alright”
And then clarified that she doesn’t say “you alright” she says “Y’alreet” - how difficult is it to explain that it’s a greeting where you’re basically asking if someone is well, like “hi how are you?” Nope, Helen is just going to keep saying “y’areet” over and over without answering the question. “Sometimes you don’t even have to answer “you alright” It’s just saying hi”
Question 10..... is about more beans specifically beans on toast “yes and if you’re feeling extra, a bit of cheese on top...” “....it’s a UK staple kids tea... it’s a good hearty comforting meal” erm no it’s not, it’s well known for being a poor student meal, cheap quick and easy
“It’s nostalgia, like a kiddie tea.. or if your really super lazy...”
“....it’s a bit of a cop out meal” lol my inner broke ass who had to live on beans on toast to pay bills is triggered
Question 11 is about iced buns being bread rolls with crappy icing on top. “True” says Helen, “but you can’t fault it” (They just did...)
Question 12 is about chips and gravy. Helen is getting serious, she doesn’t understand why people have a problem with chips and gravy! “It’s no different to roast potatoes and gravy... just the po-tayyy-toe is in a different shape”
Question 13 is about advent calendars “it’s a great excuse to have chocolate”
“now advent calendars are just another reason to get up in the morning because winter is sometimes so unbearably miserable” (Christ that turned depressing fast Helen) Tells herself that “there’s a chocolate downstairs go get it witch” So not going to mention it’s origin and history?
“also I’m an adult, so I can buy as many as I like and no ones going to tell me off” says the large gluttonous child whilst picking crusts off her eye.
Question 14 is about Sunday roasts and where did they come from “I dunno, maybe something to do with the church... Sunday church... Sunday roast.. they seem to tie into each other” then goes on about her Instagram post on roasts only feeling right in the winter time says it’s too much food (lol) and too much stodge in the heat. BBQs are fine though. She knows saying this may “ruffle a few feathers and upset a few people”
Question 7 is about chip sandwiches and someone said they tasted bland, “rude” she snarks “first of all it’s a chip butty” (uh oh they’ve angered the beast) then goes on to describe in detail how to make a chip sandwich. She’s practically drooling.
Tells them to add ketchup cos “that’s where you’re going wrong my friend... it’s not meant to be full of flavour it’s all about the stodge experience” yep all about the stodge for the podge (sorry too mean, but hey it rhymed)
Question 8 more food, this time about beans at breakfast - this video is so fun! She can’t answer because she doesn’t know any different. “You get the stodginess from the bean itself... they add the saucy bit that you dip your bits in”
Question 9 is about greeting people with “you alwite?” Helen struggles with this cos she says it all the time. Has an demonstration of how the conversation goes and says it’s like “verbally nodding” (yes that makes sense to non Brit folk, well explained, Jesus) More demonstrations of “you alright”
And then clarified that she doesn’t say “you alright” she says “Y’alreet” - how difficult is it to explain that it’s a greeting where you’re basically asking if someone is well, like “hi how are you?” Nope, Helen is just going to keep saying “y’areet” over and over without answering the question. “Sometimes you don’t even have to answer “you alright” It’s just saying hi”
Question 10..... is about more beans specifically beans on toast
“yes and if you’re feeling extra, a bit of cheese on top...” “....it’s a UK staple kids tea... it’s a good hearty comforting meal” erm no it’s not, it’s well known for being a poor student meal, cheap quick and easy“It’s nostalgia, like a kiddie tea.. or if your really super lazy...”
“....it’s a bit of a cop out meal” lol my inner broke ass who had to live on beans on toast to pay bills is triggered
Question 11 is about iced buns being bread rolls with crappy icing on top. “True” says Helen, “but you can’t fault it” (They just did...)
Question 12 is about chips and gravy. Helen is getting serious, she doesn’t understand why people have a problem with chips and gravy! “It’s no different to roast potatoes and gravy... just the po-tayyy-toe is in a different shape”
Question 13 is about advent calendars “it’s a great excuse to have chocolate”
“now advent calendars are just another reason to get up in the morning because winter is sometimes so unbearably miserable” (Christ that turned depressing fast Helen
) Tells herself that “there’s a chocolate downstairs go get it witch” So not going to mention it’s origin and history?“also I’m an adult, so I can buy as many as I like and no ones going to tell me off” says the large gluttonous child whilst picking crusts off her eye.
Question 14 is about Sunday roasts and where did they come from “I dunno, maybe something to do with the church... Sunday church... Sunday roast.. they seem to tie into each other” then goes on about her Instagram post on roasts only feeling right in the winter time says it’s too much food (lol) and too much stodge in the heat. BBQs are fine though. She knows saying this may “ruffle a few feathers and upset a few people”
Question 15 ....OH MY GOD IM SO bleeping BORED YET STILL DEDICATED.... is about rolls being called baps or bread cakes. Baps is a northern thing.... and also a southern thing she says
“I dunno it’s just a roll... I dunno why we can’t just all agree that it’s a roll”“Different floats different boats.... different strokes...?”
“Baaaaap”
Question 16 is about the royal family and she pulls a face saying she “I’m not getting into that tit, leave them alone”
Question 17 is about tea “what is with the tea? You can’t say that tit round ‘ere” cos she gets freebies from tea pigs and she’ll be damned if she bad mouths a tea bag!!
And now she’s trying to find the right words to do the tea justice.
The ode to tea; by Helen Anderson:
“it’s the ice breaker
its the cheerer upper
it’s the pick me up in the morning
it’s the I’m chilling out in the evening
it’s the I’m feeling sad let’s put the kettle on
you see your family, you ‘ave a cup of tea
you finish dinner and have a cup of tea”
“If you’re British and you don’t like tea, there’s something wrong with you... hahaha! no shade ahahhahaha” but really shade
She never gets tea from Starbucks or other chain places cos they don’t do that tit right It’s got to be an independent cafe or a greasy spoon
Question 18 bus drivers waving at each other (really....? Someone asked this?) “that’s bleeping cool” she loves when people in vehicles wave at each other and noticed in Scotland other camper vans were waving at them “And it was soooo exciting” ..........
“I was like “right, come on FIL we gotta be alert now””And when they saw a camper and coming they were like:
and celebrated when they got a wave back:
They sound so fun.
Question 19 what is a cheeky Nando’s (these questions are never going to end are they?) Helen loves a Nando’s blah blah blah
says it’s a “bit cringe when you say it”
“Nando’s is the basic witch out of all the restaurants”
“It’s ironic when you say it because when you say it you prob just want to vomit in your shoe” .......
Question 20 how did bloody become an adjective. “Ron Weasley is to blame for that one” ....no he’s not.
Question 21 “‘errr is ‘errrrr is” says Helen excitedly..... why do you call it dinner for tea “it’s the same thing” great.
“You have tea at home, and dinner out”
“you wouldn’t ever say let’s go out for tea” ...yes you could
“I think I put the nail on the head there...... Teatime is teatime innit?”
Question 22 asks her to rate all the Colin the caterpillars from different supermarkets
Question 23 is asking about calling dessert “pudding”.... which she chuckles heartily at because they’re both the same thing “it doesn’t have to be a pudding, it could be a pie... it could be a cake”
Question 24 is about clotted cream and spotted dick - agrees they sound weird, and then goes on to the next question...
Question 25 is about prefect head boys and if they’re just a Harry Potter thing.... says it’s a boarding school / private school thing (it isn’t) and says her old school started doing houses and that kind of thing more and more now
Question 26 is about putting tit on toast - Helen put super noodles on toast, why am i not surprised. Then she lists all the things to put on toast... and yep she’s drooling again.
says it’s a “bit cringe when you say it”
“Nando’s is the basic witch out of all the restaurants”
“It’s ironic when you say it because when you say it you prob just want to vomit in your shoe” .......
Question 20 how did bloody become an adjective. “Ron Weasley is to blame for that one” ....no he’s not.
Question 21 “‘errr is ‘errrrr is” says Helen excitedly..... why do you call it dinner for tea “it’s the same thing” great.
“You have tea at home, and dinner out”
“you wouldn’t ever say let’s go out for tea” ...yes you could
“I think I put the nail on the head there...... Teatime is teatime innit?”
Question 22 asks her to rate all the Colin the caterpillars from different supermarkets
Question 23 is asking about calling dessert “pudding”.... which she chuckles heartily at because they’re both the same thing “it doesn’t have to be a pudding, it could be a pie... it could be a cake”
Question 24 is about clotted cream and spotted dick - agrees they sound weird, and then goes on to the next question...
Question 25 is about prefect head boys and if they’re just a Harry Potter thing.... says it’s a boarding school / private school thing (it isn’t) and says her old school started doing houses and that kind of thing more and more now
Question 26 is about putting tit on toast - Helen put super noodles on toast, why am i not surprised. Then she lists all the things to put on toast... and yep she’s drooling again.
Question 27 is about tea..... Ok I’m out now this is the most boring sloppy ass video and there’s still just under 10 minutes left I just can’t
Im guessing her upload anxiety bullshit has gone now as she’s uploading while she’s away
(Edit: added Spoiler tags for some questions because this post was so flipping long lol)
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Why is she so obsessed with Graces boyfriend???
Like, I feel like her and Grace only hang out cause she’s paying her, but she’s all over her boyfriend?? So weird
Like, I feel like her and Grace only hang out cause she’s paying her, but she’s all over her boyfriend?? So weird
She’s totally the sort of girl who thinks all her friends boyfriends fancy her
. And she’s so insecure she probably needs to make others feel insecure too, hence the inappropriate levels of interest in Grace’s fella. Didn’t she strip off in front of him last Christmas?Right!!!
It seems like she posted out on instagram and then switched on her camera as the questions were coming in - she didn’t bother going through the questions pre filming, so we had the constant boring repetitive beans and tea questions, and no real actual answers like she could have looked up the history of traditions and habits, for example she could have informed people that advent calendars started off as a German tradition and it’s not all about chocolate, and there’s other variations like candles, but sure tell us how you’re “allowed” to buy yourself 10 advent calendars which you can stuff your face with because you’re an adult.
@Lunamoon22 we don't deserve you 
She is so clearly intoxicated. Maybe not drunk, but christ. I honestly have no words anymore.
I feel sad for her mainly because when I was in my 20s I was a bleeping mess. I'm only 31, so I'm not trying to be preachy. But STILL. My friends called me out so many times (and I called out them). Wtf are her kids going to think? And what will they have to aspire to? When most people are pathetic 20-40 year old drunks they're at least working towards something. What the duck, Helen?
She is so clearly intoxicated. Maybe not drunk, but christ. I honestly have no words anymore.
I feel sad for her mainly because when I was in my 20s I was a bleeping mess. I'm only 31, so I'm not trying to be preachy. But STILL. My friends called me out so many times (and I called out them). Wtf are her kids going to think? And what will they have to aspire to? When most people are pathetic 20-40 year old drunks they're at least working towards something. What the duck, Helen?
I h
I haven't. What's the attraction and what makes it so British? Are we the only country with caterpillars?
Already drunk in Wales
And smoking
And smoking
They’re from M&S which I presume is where the Britishness comes from, I don’t think even Helen would take credit for all the worlds caterpillars.
Am I stupid ?? Why have I chosen to stay apart from my partner who lives in London to keep ourselves and others safe. But people like Helen feel it’s justified to travel all over the shop for sub par brand deal content, one of which doesn’t even have a following of 500 followers?! And be getting rat arsed basically hand in hand with complete strangers??
the lengths this woman will go to for free tat and booze. Let’s see if it even boosts her dropping stats 
Thank you for my profile photo Lunamoon, you really are an angel 
Would it have killed her to put in some photos of all the crap she is talking about?? That was the dullest video I’ve ever watched and I watched Quirkez how to remove hair dye video so that’s saying somethinkkkk.
Would it have killed her to put in some photos of all the crap she is talking about?? That was the dullest video I’ve ever watched and I watched Quirkez how to remove hair dye video so that’s saying somethinkkkk.
I dunno how they can get away with it when stricter restrictions are being put in place today - illegal to be in groups larger than six people from two house holds, unless you’re a dwindling influencer who got a free trip to Wales along side 20 other influencers.... plus crew, managers and the hosts.Am I stupid ?? Why have I chosen to stay apart from my partner who lives in London to keep ourselves and others safe. But people like Helen feel it’s justified to travel all over the shop for sub par brand deal content, one of which doesn’t even have a following of 500 followers?! And be getting rat arsed basically hand in hand with complete strangers??
Just like her Osea trip, she looks so out of place with the influencers... they’re all super fit... gonna be interesting to watch her wheezing trying to keep up - she already said that has a complex about being last when running at boot camp and now she’s “competing” with people who parkour for a living...
Haha! you’re very welcomeThank you for my profile photo Lunamoon, you really are an angel
Would it have killed her to put in some photos of all the crap she is talking about?? That was the dullest video I’ve ever watched and I watched Quirkez how to remove hair dye video so that’s saying somethinkkkk.
I think that small part about bus drivers and her getting excited about waving was the highlight of that video, but only because it hilariously highlights just how incredibly dull she really is I wonder if she was excitedly waving at other people in coaches while she was on her way to Wales? I can just imagine her flapping away telling the other influencers how her and FIL flapped their wavey arm hands at other campers on their very first holiday together and how it was soooo quirky and exciting!!!!
Helen and FIL: Quirkerz and Waverz
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OMG she's smoking! I love the way she tries to hide it, drops the fag down, hides it behind the other person, and is clearly trying her best to hold the smoke in until the camera moves away from her lmao
Well I see from your photo it says "Happy 4th Birthday" so clearly its a kids' cake. Been many many years since I was a kid so I guess they just weren't around in my day.
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