Helen Anderson #4 Drunk, Quirky, Looks Plain Dirty. Beefy Knees, Freebies Please!

[sorenips]

The scene... Helen insists on hand delivering Mark's jumper. She drives to his parents' house, blaring Back in Black on her car stereo. She's going to show him what he's missing. She arrives, then tops up her lipstick in the car mirror. She gets out of the car and struts towards the front door, then rings the doorbell. She uses the letterbox as a mirror to check her teeth.

[Mark's mum answers the door.]

Mark's mum: "oh, Helen...hello"

Helen: "Allwoight! Long time no see! Is Mark abahht?"

Mark's mum: "Yes, I'll just go and get him"

[Mark comes to the door]

Mark: [Awkwardly] "Hi...you alright?"

Helen: "Yeah! I'm really great! You? I've got a little something for you, I got them printed as a little moment-o of our hikes!"
[Helen holds up the jumper and makes a rock sign]

Mark: "A memento? Oh cool, thanks"

Helen: "That's allwoight! I got them for the whole hiking gang so I didn't want to leave you out! Speaking of hiking, I went hiking the other week in Scotland, did the NC500, it was amazing! I say 'hike' but I could barely walk some days after Phil was finished with me! If ya know whadda mean! It's just nice to be with someone who I have that chemistry with, ya know?"

Mark: "Ah cool, well thanks, this is great. Anyway, I'd better be goi-"

Helen: "Do you like it?"

Mark: [sniffs jumper]
[Whispering] "oh that smells really nice"

FIN

 

[lola_goss]

This is SUCH a niche reference but any late 80’s / early 90’s babies will get me... after watching her most recent reel of the boots, it hit me that her mannerisms etc remind me of Daisy from Zzzap

Honestly, YouTube it! It was sort of like a mr bean type sketch for a kids show. All over the top facial expressions and slap stick “comedy”.

 

[Alien1956]

Was the affiliation £ really worth it?

 

[Lunamoon22]

WEEKLY VLOG SUMMARY: Hormones, Hair Gone Wrong & Mum’s Birthday

Buckle peeps, this vlog has EIGHT adverts! (That’s one every 2.77 minutes)

She back from her Scotland holiday. It was great.

She didn’t feel well. Woke up at 7am fell asleep and then woke up later. “THAT NEVER HAPPENS” she yells (except it does happen - check her quarantine vlogs )

She had a Jimmy Buffett party with her mates on Saturday

Isolated heroes sent her more masks probably because she keeps promoting other people’s masks and not the thousands of masks they sent her... orrrr they’re trying to give her a massive fucking hint to wear the damn things

Moans about how editing taking her soooo long.

She’s excited about her Scotland trip video to go up - no upload anxiety there - despite her borderline racist pronunciation of the places she visited (Im talking about the “falls of Measach” episode where she deliberately adds a bunch of schshkshskshhch at the end )

“I’m not very good at reading. I’m not very good at reading” says teacher Helen.

Though Hermione from Harry Potter was pronounced “Her-mon-yay”

Doesn’t know how to pronounce Edinburgh “is it Edingborough, Edinbruh, Edinyuh?”

Wears the Megan top again.

Bought some ugly shoes from Topshop. “I don’t need another pair of boots. I don’t need another pair of snakeskin boots.. but principally these were £85 and they’re now £15...”

Now here comes the Josh Wood gloss hair disaster She fancies doing something “a little bit different”.

“Oh gosh, what am I doing? What am I doing?” She says BEFORE she’s out any colour on her head. Puts a tiny bit on on the ends

“Ah shit, it’s purple” keeps putting it on even though she KNOWS it’s purple.

“My name’s Helen and I’m a fucking idiot. What am I doing?”

Cut to it being “done” and dry.

“I might have a little cry. Cos is it my fault that I continued to put it on............? .....Maybe it is?”

Yes of course it is you dipshit

Next day now stutters over her words that she’s “ova ma ‘air sit’ashun”

Blames her hormones for making her so upset and sensitive and said she felt guilty for having a rant on IG but felt that she was trying to give useful information to her followers and an excuse as to why her hair turned out shitty, and then she started doubting herself and wondered if it was her own fault and felt bad for bad mouthing “but whateva” (obviously not bad enough to issue an apology on the same platform and method in which you used trashed the company though huh....) “I’m over it haha!” Cos Phil bought her chocolates to cheer her up. The feeder.

Goes on and on about not feeling right down there (for fucks same Helen you just said you were due your period, this ain’t brand new) she’ says she’s got post holiday blues mixed with hormones

She’s going to do house work because she “loves cleaning” (I think Josie would disagree with you there love ) goes on about how housework does wonders for her mood and how she loves it.

“I love cleaning bathrooms, I dunno why, maybe it’s because I love my hands in nice hot water” (how about using nice hot water (and soap) to wash your hands after you take a piss you dirty git)

Cut to her again saying how she’s over her hair and how she’s going to “fade it out” (spoiler she doesn’t, she strips the fucker) “but whatevz”

Shows up close her make up and acknowledges that her lipstick always looks a fucking mess

“I’m such a rutter when it comes to make up I just use the same shit over and over again” yet she still accepts hundreds of free PR make up

Complains about the fact she’s almost eaten a box of chocolates and now has to hide the last two remaining ones because she doesn’t want Phil to be shocked at how much she’s eaten.

Time to take her mum on a “birthday magical mystery tour” Sustainable Helen buys a load of plastic wrapped plastic banners to decorate her car with. Opens the packaging with her teeth and spits out the small plastic from her mouth into the breeze

She was gonna make a sign that said “honk for Sue” (so cringe)

“You got your (birthday girl) badge? You might get some freebies!!!!” Cos it’s allllll about freebies isn’t it Helen

“Is it bye-Chester mum? Oh bisssster”

Helen walks around an incredibly busy Bicester village with no mask on - good to see that her mum on the other hand has one on!

In fact the whole vlog we never see her wear one...

Eclair snack break time “it’s well busy here” she sounds pissed off.

Says that she INSISTED that they go to get an eclair even though her mum didn’t want one “but I want a snack” Helen demands.

She asks her mum if she’s pronouncing Byechester right her mum snaps at her “Bicester!” and she says “alright... I mispronounce things muuum.” “I just can’t read” said the teacherthen mispronounces it again and complains how busy it was.

So its Prosecco time because they’ve arrived at the hotel. Pops it and spills it on the carpet (surprised she’s not on the floor trying to slurp it up) but she got her Covid mouth round the bottle to stop it over flowing and now she’s going to share that with her mum. Because covid; sharing is caring killing.

God she is sooooo loud, she’s practically shouting at her mum when she talks.

Points at the mess and does a load of whining noises whilst holding the bottle - fully expecting her mum to clean it up “loooook” she says pointing the mess out to her mum.

“Me and Sue have just been for tacos, now we’re going for some giiiiin”

The Megan top is back again

Tells her mum that they’re going canoeing and asks her what she thinks - her mum laughs nervously and says she’s not sure. She genuinely sounds nervous. But it’s not her special day, it’s Helen’s and damn it all to hell if Sue would be the one to stop Helen from getting on a boat to celebrate a birthday!

Mum’s wearing a mask around people, Helen is not. “What you nervous for mum? Look we can watch these ladies get on” the ladies look back and laugh, great give more attention to your poor mum’s anxiety she doesn’t want to get on the fucking boat.

Makes her mum film her whilst she’s rowing - so poor mum is not able to see the sights or even attempt to relax as she’s balancing holding a camera with holding on for dear life and attempting to direct Helen on where to steer.

They finish their boat ride “get out Sue”

Helen takes the opportunity to go shopping to a vintage store to buy a bunch of stuff.

Keeps calling her mum Sue

Dinner’s been eaten and back in the hotel she decides to tell the camera that her mum is naked
“no I’m not” Sue says behind the camera,
“that’s a bra and what is that...?”
“My petticoat.”
“Hehe petticoat. Why do you have a petticoat, mum?”

.....Jesus, it’s like I’m watching an episode of Peppa Pig

Helen looks really drunk. Unsurprising. Wtf is going on with that hair?

Complains that her mum goes “uh?” every time she says something “That’s cos you mumble!!” Says her mum - oh dear... even your own mum’s noticing your mumbling slurred drunken speech Helen, time to step awayyy from the booze

 

[tsuyu]

I am so sick of being told I have no life, an unfulfilling life or whatever just because I post on here. I have a perfectly good life staying home and not spreading covid thank you very much.

How self absorbed do you have to be to refuse to be held accountable for your actions during a global pandemic where people are literally dying or suffering from the life changing effects of having the virus. People are loosing family members, people are loosing their josb and she's gone away on so many holidays this year with so little disregard for whats happening. It's always me me me with these influencers. I don't think she's ever put her hands up and admitted when she's done wrong, she just freaks out, plays the victim and turns comments off or something. She was blaming other people for not wearing a mask when she wasn't either! Throwing shade at people getting haircuts when we were under the first lockdown but the second hairdressers opened up she was on a train to London (also not wearing a mask because she didnt have to). Thats the type of person she is and I know it must suck to read things about yourself online but thats the reality of having a career where you make money off putting yourself online. She should either address whats being said or stop reading.

 

[Jesuschristo]

 

[Emmapism]

70s pweirdo TV presenter

 

[sorenips]

Anyone remember Helen bragging that she always gives her mate Ben meat because his girlfriend is a vegetarian and doesn't cook him meat? Proper "not like the other girls" vibes and she'd be such a home wrecker if she was actually attractive.

P.s. wading into the Colin discussion - it's a dry chocolate swiss roll with cheap chocolate on it. Fight me.

 

[Lunamoon22]

 

[Lunamoon22]

VIDEO SUMMARY: THE BRITISH ARE STRANGE | ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS ABOUT BRITS

Firstly, this video has eight adverts (thank fuck for ad blockers)

Secondly, it’s the gravy stained walking group jumper

She got this idea from a video she saw on tiktok or somewhere, so whoever it was won’t get any credit

Colin the Caterpillar is apparently a “no brainer” when it comes to birthdays... yeah if you’re like 5...

Caterpillars scare the shit out of her but she “requires” one in cake form... you know what they say - to face your fear... just eat cake!

She made it clear that it was all for fun, she didn’t want anything gross or political, nothing patriotic

“Some of the questions here were actually quite hilar” Yes you read that right... she ACTUALLY shortened the word hilarious to “hilar”

Stutters in an absolutely vile high pitched squeaking tone “I might not even know all the answers!” - if it’s not about food or drinking then no, you probably won’t know Helen

Question 1 is about roundabouts, Helen explains how roundabouts work - do people not have google?

Question 2 is about having a washing machine in the kitchen - this is riveting stuff. Helen says it’s because of space and it’s the only logical place it could go...

Question 3 is about food (Quirkerz will be pleased), specifically about having a fry up when you’re hungover. Helen doesn’t know how to explain it, but says she always goes for a veggie option she don’t want that much meat in the morning (lol) she says it’s just a lot.... Helen... saying it’s a lot

“It’s usually sort of a treat breakfast really... it’s just an epic breakfast... it just soaks it all up... one bad thing after another bad thing really”

Question 4 is about how to pronounce the Tube... really we’re asking HELEN how to pronounce things??? Then goes on to say tube over and over and says “we can’t can’t read, we can’t speak!”

Question 5 isn’t actually a question she just says “Mooshy peas” she says she never liked them but they’re growing on her. They’re a bit “odd tasting” - wut? they’re fucking peas...

“They’re perfect with fish and chips... and curry sauce obvs” then looks off into the distance... Yep she’s thinking about food.

“oooooh yeah... mushy peas...”

Spoiler: Q6 to Q14

Question 6 is about washing dishes. She says it’s down to the individual if they rinse with water after washing or not.

Question 7 is about chip sandwiches and someone said they tasted bland, “rude” she snarks “first of all it’s a chip butty” (uh oh they’ve angered the beast) then goes on to describe in detail how to make a chip sandwich. She’s practically drooling.

Tells them to add ketchup cos “that’s where you’re going wrong my friend... it’s not meant to be full of flavour it’s all about the stodge experience” yep all about the stodge for the podge (sorry too mean, but hey it rhymed)

Question 8 more food, this time about beans at breakfast - this video is so fun! She can’t answer because she doesn’t know any different. “You get the stodginess from the bean itself... they add the saucy bit that you dip your bits in”

Question 9 is about greeting people with “you alwite?” Helen struggles with this cos she says it all the time. Has an demonstration of how the conversation goes and says it’s like “verbally nodding” (yes that makes sense to non Brit folk, well explained, Jesus) More demonstrations of “you alright”

And then clarified that she doesn’t say “you alright” she says “Y’alreet” - how difficult is it to explain that it’s a greeting where you’re basically asking if someone is well, like “hi how are you?” Nope, Helen is just going to keep saying “y’areet” over and over without answering the question. “Sometimes you don’t even have to answer “you alright” It’s just saying hi”

Question 10..... is about more beans specifically beans on toast “yes and if you’re feeling extra, a bit of cheese on top...” “....it’s a UK staple kids tea... it’s a good hearty comforting meal” erm no it’s not, it’s well known for being a poor student meal, cheap quick and easy

“It’s nostalgia, like a kiddie tea.. or if your really super lazy...”

“....it’s a bit of a cop out meal” lol my inner broke ass who had to live on beans on toast to pay bills is triggered

Question 11 is about iced buns being bread rolls with crappy icing on top. “True” says Helen, “but you can’t fault it” (They just did...)

Question 12 is about chips and gravy. Helen is getting serious, she doesn’t understand why people have a problem with chips and gravy! “It’s no different to roast potatoes and gravy... just the po-tayyy-toe is in a different shape”

Question 13 is about advent calendars “it’s a great excuse to have chocolate”

“now advent calendars are just another reason to get up in the morning because winter is sometimes so unbearably miserable” (Christ that turned depressing fast Helen ) Tells herself that “there’s a chocolate downstairs go get it bitch” So not going to mention it’s origin and history?

“also I’m an adult, so I can buy as many as I like and no ones going to tell me off” says the large gluttonous child whilst picking crusts off her eye.

Question 14 is about Sunday roasts and where did they come from “I dunno, maybe something to do with the church... Sunday church... Sunday roast.. they seem to tie into each other” then goes on about her Instagram post on roasts only feeling right in the winter time says it’s too much food (lol) and too much stodge in the heat. BBQs are fine though. She knows saying this may “ruffle a few feathers and upset a few people”

Question 15 ....OH MY GOD IM SO FUCKING BORED YET STILL DEDICATED.... is about rolls being called baps or bread cakes. Baps is a northern thing.... and also a southern thing she says “I dunno it’s just a roll... I dunno why we can’t just all agree that it’s a roll”

“Different floats different boats.... different strokes...?”

“Baaaaap”

Question 16 is about the royal family and she pulls a face saying she “I’m not getting into that shit, leave them alone”

Question 17 is about tea “what is with the tea? You can’t say that shit round ‘ere” cos she gets freebies from tea pigs and she’ll be damned if she bad mouths a tea bag!!

And now she’s trying to find the right words to do the tea justice.

The ode to tea; by Helen Anderson:

“it’s the ice breaker
its the cheerer upper
it’s the pick me up in the morning
it’s the I’m chilling out in the evening
it’s the I’m feeling sad let’s put the kettle on
you see your family, you ‘ave a cup of tea
you finish dinner and have a cup of tea”

“If you’re British and you don’t like tea, there’s something wrong with you... hahaha! no shade ahahhahaha” but really shade

She never gets tea from Starbucks or other chain places cos they don’t do that shit right It’s got to be an independent cafe or a greasy spoon

Question 18 bus drivers waving at each other (really....? Someone asked this?) “that’s fucking cool” she loves when people in vehicles wave at each other and noticed in Scotland other camper vans were waving at them “And it was soooo exciting” .......... “I was like “right, come on FIL we gotta be alert now””

And when they saw a camper and coming they were like:

and celebrated when they got a wave back:

They sound so fun.

Spoiler: “Q19 to Q26”

Question 19 what is a cheeky Nando’s (these questions are never going to end are they?) Helen loves a Nando’s blah blah blah
says it’s a “bit cringe when you say it”

“Nando’s is the basic bitch out of all the restaurants”

“It’s ironic when you say it because when you say it you prob just want to vomit in your shoe” .......

Question 20 how did bloody become an adjective. “Ron Weasley is to blame for that one” ....no he’s not.

Question 21 “‘errr is ‘errrrr is” says Helen excitedly..... why do you call it dinner for tea “it’s the same thing” great.

“You have tea at home, and dinner out”

“you wouldn’t ever say let’s go out for tea” ...yes you could

“I think I put the nail on the head there...... Teatime is teatime innit?”

Question 22 asks her to rate all the Colin the caterpillars from different supermarkets

Question 23 is asking about calling dessert “pudding”.... which she chuckles heartily at because they’re both the same thing “it doesn’t have to be a pudding, it could be a pie... it could be a cake”

Question 24 is about clotted cream and spotted dick - agrees they sound weird, and then goes on to the next question...

Question 25 is about prefect head boys and if they’re just a Harry Potter thing.... says it’s a boarding school / private school thing (it isn’t) and says her old school started doing houses and that kind of thing more and more now

Question 26 is about putting shit on toast - Helen put super noodles on toast, why am i not surprised. Then she lists all the things to put on toast... and yep she’s drooling again.

Question 27 is about tea..... Ok I’m out now this is the most boring sloppy ass video and there’s still just under 10 minutes left I just can’t

Im guessing her upload anxiety bullshit has gone now as she’s uploading while she’s away

(Edit: added Spoiler tags for some questions because this post was so flipping long lol)

 

[SpookyLumberjack]

After 5 months on furlough and as my current job was starting to get back on its feet my city was one of those announced to be put into lock down again yesterday. I wear a mask 10+ hours a day anyway and have only seen some of my closest family through windows or twice for 15 mins (care home) since March. Cancelled all holidays and mini UK breaks. Not left the city once. Only left my home to get food, work and walk in the early AM. My career (theatre/entertainment industry) is temporarily dead and God knows when it'll be back to being able to work properly. She's slobbing around the UK eating her way through each holiday not giving a shit. She needs to be criticised.

 

[Lunamoon22]

Video Summary: New Normal, Upload Anxiety, Masks | August Feelings & Favs


The lighting is noticeably darker in this video - perhaps a filter put on to hide the hair disaster?

16 seconds in and she throws her slipper and slurs/rambles words.

Feelings:

Explains the ‘hair accident’ and says she’s going to try and wash it out “when she can be bothered to” it put her in a bad mood but people have been saying to her that it looks “fine” and looks “lovely” ()

She says washing her hair is such a fucking chore and she HATES doing it (so that’s why it looks manky sometimes )

Talks about the Norfolk Coastline walk - how they social distanced (they did not) she was knackered blah blah blah (no one cares) Stutters over saying that they put their own sign up at the end of it and they made it to look like it was ‘supposed’ to be there (prob cos you’re not actually allowed to do that shit on public signs )


Says that she wasn’t rushing to go back to the pub when restrictions lifted (absolute load of shit ball lies there Quirkerz)

she pulls a face and says “I wasn’t up for that” but at least they could go out to eat (of course) and ended up going on some date nights.

And “without sounding laaaame” it marked her and Phil’s 6 month anniversary.Talked about how the lockdown put everything on hold but fast forwarded everything in their relationship at the same time (because she’s weak and can never be on her own so needed to move him in 2 months after casually dating)

Says she felt all giddy and excited when they got to go out on dates again (sure that wasn’t you just being giddy for the food Hels?)

Then goes on to talk ecstatically about the food and restaurants.

“July was pretty rad, it was cool”

Talks about going away on her secret trip but says she’s decided to keep it a secret so we’ll prob never know.

Talks about going to Scotland and how it was a “great great great great holiday, especially pandemic holiday” even though there was lots of things they couldn’t do and missed out on because of corona but “fair enuff”. It was a great thing for her and Phil to do together and then she shudders and goes “ahhh my heart” (wtf)

She might grace us with a dedicated video about it because she had sooooo many questions about it (sure you did)

Work is back to normal now, she’s got some brand deals come through and buzzing because there’s some “big brands” she’s working with (great more #ad shit coming soon) says her new management are “absolutely slaying it at the moment”

She’s happy in her personal life its pretty awesome and has no complaints except the fact she’s got upload anxiety because she has a “fear of upsetting people” and “not being able to deal with the criticism” and “slipping up and saying something wrong or wording something wrong and dealing with the backlash” (That would be about the being extroverted is worse than social anxiety comparison she made in her what not not say to an extrovert video)

keeps saying it’s 2020 (like we need a reminder) and that people have become more “woke” but she doesn’t want to use that word and says that there’s an element of cancel culture and calling people out (great going back to this bullshit again, no one is getting fucking cancelled in this so-called cancel culture, idiot).

Acknowledges that people are “being held accountable for the things that they’ve done, things that they do, bad shit” but has a fear in her mind that she has done something wrong too (....so like being held accountable then Helen, yeah?) and then slips out the word “abuse” And now has a fear of multiple people telling her the same thing about something that she’s done wrong. Feels for people who have been called out for big fuck ups because of the onslaught and hammering

Finds it hard to digest that people disagree with her on certain things.

Repeats about people being upset if she’s done something wrong, worded something wrong, taken something out of context etc and if 20 people give the criticising comment a thumbs up - to her that’s 20 people saying the same thing and then she shudders (this is all because upset people about her refusal to wear masks and then being upset when she directly asked for a comparison on a personality trait being worse than a mental health condition and then in the comments tried to deny making a comparison - but instead of taking accountability and re editing the video she left it in and now feels attacked)

“People say well don’t put yourself online if you can’t deal with that side of things” well she feels it’s only gotten a lot more intense and worse in recent days/times (which is a lie, she’s always complained when people complained or gave her any kind of criticism and said many times that she’s never been able to take it well)

Says she posts but will wake up in the middle of the night to check the comments (sounds like she needs to take a break youtube / social media if it’s that bad!)

Basically goes on to say that what she says is pretty harmless and people take things the wrong way and it’s a matter of different opinions then there’s no need to worry about their offence (seriously.....)

Says if she ever says anything offensive or wrong then “fair enough, call me out, hold me accountable” (THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE ARE FUCKING DOING ALREADY BUT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT!) “But if it’s a difference of opinion and we’re not inline or in tune then it’s not the be all and end all” (Jesus...)

So in summary she wants loads of “aww poor Helen, must be so tough” comments and lots of agreeing arseholes all because she can’t hack her job online anymore and can’t keep her uneducated mouth shut and can’t stop throwing parties for her mates during the pandemic or wear a mask during the pandemic. But of course that’s all just a difference of opinion and she shouldn’t be held accountable for any of it. eyes roll back hard here.

Favs:

expensive sheets from John Lewis - talks about redecorating the bedroom to something dark (she’s feeling emo with her hair atm)


Mask - “who’d have thought we’d be talking about fav face coverings in 2020”..... you put one in your last favs Helen and NEVER FUCKING WORE IT.

Says how much she HATES wearing masks so much cos they make her drowsy and when she talks sometimes they pop off (you obvs don’t have decent quality ones then Helen)

when she sees people in Sainsbury’s not wearing a mask it makes her angry (so she can now related to how people were angry with her when she refused to wear her multiple gifted masks... and more so when you kept making bullshit excuses for it every time you went out.... or do we go back to the difference of opinion or cancel culture debate... I’m confused)

Got a bag from ASOS cos it reminds of the Prada bag she wants to get (or whatever she dribbled out her mouth, ffs enunciate, woman)

Goes on to say that she’s working with ASOS and it’s a dream come true “some of you may not agree with it but whatevz” she doesn’t know if she’s a partnership or an ambassador () but get ready to see a shit more #ad content from her soon

Dr paw paw lip tint blah blah blah “I wasn’t really wearing too much make up when I was away, no point really” (ok, ya clown)

Hand sanitizer spray “we’re being drowned and swamped in hand sanitizer” (why does she sound so bitter about being clean? Ohhh she hates washing her hands after the toilet right. Ya grub)

Free mug from truffle shuffle blah blah blah

said she watched the labyrinth and had a bottle of Prosecco to CELEBRATE HER COMING HOME FROM A HOLIDAY (ya alcoholic) Got drunk and tripped out on how weird the film is when you’re under the influence.

Converse (predictable) apparently these chunky trainers are “hiking” ones

Free body shop smelly shit - explains how bubble baths work.

Then talks about her fav chocolates (Phil bought her chocolates because she was upset about her hair) she demolished most of them in the car and then had some for breakfast (actual child)

Lastly she loves her creaky fan “I don’t need it to oscillate because it’s so wide... th...th...the actual... bloweyness” “it’s mega”

—————————
(Jeeze that was loooong. Sorry for any typos etc I can’t be arsed to go through it all after becoming brain dead by that waffle I just listened to )

 

[sorenips]

Yeah, same as everyone else. These are all valid points. All she wants to hear are the young molluscs saying "YAS QUEEN I LOVE WHEN YOU TAKE A SHIT AND DON'T WASH YOUR HANDS AND THEN PICK YOUR EARS AND EAT IT".

The content she puts out there is shockingly awful. I remember the days of early Big Brother when contestants would get terrible edits and you'd think they were awful. Years later you'd see how badly they got fucked over by the show, and feel sorry for them.

HELEN EDITS HERSELF. She is responsible for this absolute garbage that she puts out there. Young, impressionable viewers are being given the message that Covid doesn't need to be taken seriously, eating and drinking yourself to obesity is fine and vile hygiene practices are totally fine.

She promotes animal neglect (those dogs should NOT be in that cage - sorry, "CRATE" - all the time), massive consumption of fast fashion, clothes and alcohol, and even had her dumb boyfriend speak out against "cancel culture" during a very important time for BLM. She then tried to cancel a brand herself. Imagine putting that same energy into something positive.

Now she's upset because she had a crappy time at a Covid spreading event and sees that other people see her the way people on here do.

Sort your life out Helen, or at least stop promoting such harmful crap, and don't worry about us - for most of us, this is just a way to kill time.

 

[Lunamoon22]

“I gorra ‘ponsa Fil! C’mere n smile fo da camra....”

“Smile n luk ‘appy Filly!”

“SMILE FIL!!!!!!”

“We ‘avin fuuuuuun! Well quirky mate”

Poor Phil looks like he’s going to burst into tears

 

[sorenips]

Ok Tattlers, case closed, I think I've solved it. My theory is thus - I reckon Mark told Helen whilst he was with her things like "I like redheads" "I like girls who are confident with their bodies" (I can just imagine Helen having a bad body image day and going "Marrrrk I'm fat" and pouting, the way she used to have her strops with Maff. Mark eventually leaves her and finds someone who's actually his type. Good for him.)

So, Helen becomes the girl Mark wanted after he left her. (She also always carries a bit of each ex or friend with her - the gym after Maff, "hiking" after Mark etc, and makes it her identity.)

Having looked through Mark's girlfriend's Insta, she makes the most incredible, decadent looking brownies, looks like it's something she's been doing for a while because they look amazing. What did Helen start doing with Phil? Making really decadent brownies.

These things on their own are insignificant. Who didn't do a little baking in lockdown? 90s flames are on trend now. More than one person can have copper hair. Body positivity is on-trend. Maroon lace underwear is available in the shops. But all together? Creepy AF.

 

[Lunamoon22]

My favourite thing about that awfully staged laughing photo, is when you zoom in, it sort of looks like Helen has crazy wide eyes going on

OMG you’re right!!! That is hilarious!

 

[Lunamoon22]

Don’t do drugs, kids.

 

[Jemimapuddleduck12]

Hello I’m new. I have been a fan of helens for a while now but her downward spiral is really starting to put me off now. It’s her general shitty obnoxious attitude (getting worse!) and the lack of effort she puts in her content - and it’s almost like she’s dOiNg uS a FaVoUr by throwing out this ad garbage.

Not sure how to quote specific comments but someone put earlier but someone wrote earlier:

‘I'm sure theres more examples but I can't be bothered to spend anymore time looking haha’

I can think of loads more examples:

When she talks about what she learnt during lockdown and said she’s trying not to waste food and eat more at home - cut scene she’s ordering take away.

When she says she doesn’t miss having her nails done, 2 days later has fresh nails.

Same as above with her hair!

She’s such a hypocrite and her behaviour during lockdown has been shocking!

Although I don’t personally like some of the comments here when some make fun of her appearance, I do agree that she should just listen to the constructive criticism when it comes to her content/behaviour and be more aware of how she’s acting. Although I do wonder whether she is trolling now?

Influencer culture is generally toxic and vile. My friend was a YouTuber, not big at all but enough to be invited to places for free in exchange for promotion. She’d tell me how rude the other iNfLuEnCeRs were and self absorbed and not an ounce of personality between them. They were only there for the free stuff and not even buy a drink with their own money when the free tokens ran out and would just leave.

Sorry I’ve realised how long this rant is!

Thought of a title for next thread: Helen the quirky hypocrite, doesn’t wash her hands when she takes a shit

 

[Lunamoon22]

She looks like she’s got a moustache

 

[Lunamoon22]

Haaaaa, this is her attempting to be a victim after going away on a week long trip and coming back on the day when Boris is telling us all the second wave is here and it’s going to get worse.

This is classic Helen throwing up the mental health card just so she wont be ‘told off’, she’s spent a week not giving a fuck about anyone else in a pandemic but herself and this is all in hopes this will deflect any negative

Shut up and drink your celebratory welcome home Prosecco Helen