The only thing she’s influenced me to do is lay off the Prosecco and takeaways
- Status
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Which of you Tattlers said it reminded you of the elephant dance in Dumbo?
I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again - it actually fills me with rage when she claims to be a teacher?
Does she realise that teaching assistants are not even close to being on the same level of a teacher (hence teachers needing post graduate certificates and many other forms of training to teach, whereas to get into being a TA you just need GSCES)?
She is constantly over-selling herself and acting like she’s this incredible one-man band when she hardly has a successful YouTube channel.
Another point - in that world would a teacher EVER be able to post the kind of things she posts online? Videos where you can literally see her flaps, nipples, rabbiting on about shagging and sex toys, constantly being drunk? How is that sending a positive message to her (I’m assuming college age) students? I honestly have no idea how she gets away with it - when I worked in a school we had to have all our social media’s on private OR make them incredibly PG-friendly.
Sorry for the rant but every time she mentions being a teacher/teaching it fills me with rage lol
Does she realise that teaching assistants are not even close to being on the same level of a teacher (hence teachers needing post graduate certificates and many other forms of training to teach, whereas to get into being a TA you just need GSCES)?
She is constantly over-selling herself and acting like she’s this incredible one-man band when she hardly has a successful YouTube channel.
Another point - in that world would a teacher EVER be able to post the kind of things she posts online? Videos where you can literally see her flaps, nipples, rabbiting on about shagging and sex toys, constantly being drunk? How is that sending a positive message to her (I’m assuming college age) students? I honestly have no idea how she gets away with it - when I worked in a school we had to have all our social media’s on private OR make them incredibly PG-friendly.
Sorry for the rant but every time she mentions being a teacher/teaching it fills me with rage lol
Her lights in the background of the first clip on her vlog had me thinking my eyes were going mental, bleeping hell. Also why did she Bootcamp in all that jewellery?!
I'll admit that I did really miss her mum in her vlogs, I'm glad she's celebrated her birthday with her in a place that she wanted even if Helen did choose things that she mainly wanted to do (shopping, the boat).
I'll admit that I did really miss her mum in her vlogs, I'm glad she's celebrated her birthday with her in a place that she wanted even if Helen did choose things that she mainly wanted to do (shopping, the boat).
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I have a vague memory of her getting herself a PS4 when Maff left... I think she wanted to play Skyrim or something?
Her Mum looks fab for 60 and very stylish.
Yeah, she bought it to play Spyro.
Only part way through her latest vlog - did she ever once apologise to the hair colour company who gifted her the dye for slating them on her story? She said she started 'doubting herself whether it was her own fault and then feeling bad for bad mouthing' but to me that doesn't really sound like her owning up to her mistake at all and she's twisted it to make it about her. Rather than 'feeling bad for bad mouthing', maybe she should think about the company she's just given a negative review to for something that was her fault and how they feel?
imagine thinking a rose brunette colour would magically turn out copper on your head tho
imagine thinking a rose brunette colour would magically turn out copper on your head tho
I only got just under 8 minutes into the latest vlog. I don't know if she apologised to the company. Although in the vlog she obviously decided to colour over her expensive dye job (why?) with this colour mask thing from that company and when she was putting it on she said "omg it's purple" over and over again. Like, surely you saw in your hand that it was purple, now it looks purple on your hair.. stop? Then, she described the finished colour as looking like "dog tit" (the second time she'd described something as dog tit in 7 minutes). She's absolutely foul.
Like so many others, I used to love Helen.. where has she got this chavvy persona from? She's all cash, no class. It's awful.
Also, she mentioned that she had been mispronouncing things in her videos and even mispronounced the word pronunciation.. When she said she didn't know how to pronounce Edinburgh....Dude, you live in the UK... What are you talking about?!!
I also agree with the other posters who have said she should stop referring to herself as a teacher. I'm not a teacher, but I work in an industry where you can just "call yourself" that thing/job title and it's so damaging. I really feel like teaching should be a protected title.
/unexpected rant
Edit: spelling.
WEEKLY VLOG SUMMARY: Hormones, Hair Gone Wrong & Mum’s Birthday
Buckle peeps, this vlog has EIGHT adverts! (That’s one every 2.77 minutes)
She back from her Scotland holiday. It was great.
She didn’t feel well. Woke up at 7am fell asleep and then woke up later. “THAT NEVER HAPPENS” she yells (except it does happen - check her quarantine vlogs
)
She had a Jimmy Buffett party with her mates on Saturday
Isolated heroes sent her more masks probably because she keeps promoting other people’s masks and not the thousands of masks they sent her... orrrr they’re trying to give her a massive bleeping hint to wear the damn things
Moans about how editing taking her soooo long.
She’s excited about her Scotland trip video to go up - no upload anxiety there - despite her borderline racist pronunciation of the places she visited (Im talking about the “falls of Measach” episode where she deliberately adds a bunch of schshkshskshhch at the end)
“I’m not very good at reading. I’m not very good at reading” says teacher Helen.
Though Hermione from Harry Potter was pronounced “Her-mon-yay”
Doesn’t know how to pronounce Edinburgh “is it Edingborough, Edinbruh, Edinyuh?”
Wears the Megan top again.
Bought some ugly shoes from Topshop. “I don’t need another pair of boots. I don’t need another pair of snakeskin boots.. but principally these were £85 and they’re now £15...”
Now here comes the Josh Wood gloss hair disaster She fancies doing something “a little bit different”.
“Oh gosh, what am I doing? What am I doing?” She says BEFORE she’s out any colour on her head. Puts a tiny bit on on the ends
“Ah tit, it’s purple”
keeps putting it on even though she KNOWS it’s purple.
“My name’s Helen and I’m a bleeping idiot. What am I doing?”
Cut to it being “done” and dry.
“I might have a little cry. Cos is it my fault that I continued to put it on............? .....Maybe it is?”
Yes of course it is you dipshit
Next day now stutters over her words that she’s “ova ma ‘air sit’ashun”
Blames her hormones for making her so upset and sensitive and said she felt guilty for having a rant on IG but felt that she was trying to give useful information to her followers and an excuse as to why her hair turned out crappy, and then she started doubting herself and wondered if it was her own fault and felt bad for bad mouthing “but whateva” (obviously not bad enough to issue an apology on the same platform and method in which you used trashed the company though huh....) “I’m over it haha!” Cos Phil bought her chocolates to cheer her up. The feeder.
Goes on and on about not feeling right down there (for fucks same Helen you just said you were due your period, this ain’t brand new) she’ says she’s got post holiday blues mixed with hormones
She’s going to do house work because she “loves cleaning” (I think Josie would disagree with you there love) goes on about how housework does wonders for her mood and how she loves it.
“I love cleaning bathrooms, I dunno why, maybe it’s because I love my hands in nice hot water” (how about using nice hot water (and soap) to wash your hands after you take a piss you dirty git)
Cut to her again saying how she’s over her hair and how she’s going to “fade it out” (spoiler she doesn’t, she strips the fucker) “but whatevz”
Shows up close her make up and acknowledges that her lipstick always looks a bleeping mess
“I’m such a rutter when it comes to make up I just use the same tit over and over again” yet she still accepts hundreds of free PR make up
Complains about the fact she’s almost eaten a box of chocolates and now has to hide the last two remaining ones because she doesn’t want Phil to be shocked at how much she’s eaten.
Time to take her mum on a “birthday magical mystery tour” Sustainable Helen buys a load of plastic wrapped plastic banners to decorate her car with. Opens the packaging with her teeth and spits out the small plastic from her mouth into the breeze
She was gonna make a sign that said “honk for Sue” (so cringe)
“You got your (birthday girl) badge? You might get some freebies!!!!” Cos it’s allllll about freebies isn’t it Helen
“Is it bye-Chester mum? Oh bisssster”
Helen walks around an incredibly busy Bicester village with no mask on - good to see that her mum on the other hand has one on!
In fact the whole vlog we never see her wear one...
Eclair snack break time “it’s well busy here” she sounds pissed off.
Says that she INSISTED that they go to get an eclair even though her mum didn’t want one “but I want a snack” Helen demands.
She asks her mum if she’s pronouncing Byechester right her mum snaps at her “Bicester!” and she says “alright... I mispronounce things muuum.” “I just can’t read” said the teacher
then mispronounces it again and complains how busy it was.
So its Prosecco time because they’ve arrived at the hotel. Pops it and spills it on the carpet (surprised she’s not on the floor trying to slurp it up) but she got her Covid mouth round the bottle to stop it over flowing and now she’s going to share that with her mum. Because covid; sharing iscaring killing.
God she is sooooo loud, she’s practically shouting at her mum when she talks.
Points at the mess and does a load of whining noises whilst holding the bottle - fully expecting her mum to clean it up “loooook” she says pointing the mess out to her mum.
“Me and Sue have just been for tacos, now we’re going for some giiiiin”
The Megan top is back again
Tells her mum that they’re going canoeing and asks her what she thinks - her mum laughs nervously and says she’s not sure. She genuinely sounds nervous. But it’s not her special day, it’s Helen’s and damn it all to hell if Sue would be the one to stop Helen from getting on a boat to celebrate a birthday!
Mum’s wearing a mask around people, Helen is not. “What you nervous for mum? Look we can watch these ladies get on” the ladies look back and laugh, great give more attention to your poor mum’s anxiety she doesn’t want to get on the bleeping boat.
Makes her mum film her whilst she’s rowing - so poor mum is not able to see the sights or even attempt to relax as she’s balancing holding a camera with holding on for dear life and attempting to direct Helen on where to steer.
They finish their boat ride “get out Sue”
Helen takes the opportunity to go shopping to a vintage store to buy a bunch of stuff.
Keeps calling her mum Sue
Dinner’s been eaten and back in the hotel she decides to tell the camera that her mum is naked
“no I’m not” Sue says behind the camera,
“that’s a bra and what is that...?”
“My petticoat.”
“Hehe petticoat. Why do you have a petticoat, mum?”
.....Jesus, it’s like I’m watching an episode of Peppa Pig
Helen looks really drunk. Unsurprising. Wtf is going on with that hair?
Complains that her mum goes “uh?” every time she says something “That’s cos you mumble!!” Says her mum - oh dear... even your own mum’s noticing your mumbling slurred drunken speech Helen, time to step awayyy from the booze
Buckle peeps, this vlog has EIGHT adverts! (That’s one every 2.77 minutes)
She back from her Scotland holiday. It was great.
She didn’t feel well. Woke up at 7am fell asleep and then woke up later. “THAT NEVER HAPPENS” she yells (except it does happen - check her quarantine vlogs
)She had a Jimmy Buffett party with her mates on Saturday
Isolated heroes sent her more masks probably because she keeps promoting other people’s masks and not the thousands of masks they sent her... orrrr they’re trying to give her a massive bleeping hint to wear the damn things
Moans about how editing taking her soooo long.
She’s excited about her Scotland trip video to go up - no upload anxiety there - despite her borderline racist pronunciation of the places she visited (Im talking about the “falls of Measach” episode where she deliberately adds a bunch of schshkshskshhch at the end
)“I’m not very good at reading. I’m not very good at reading” says teacher Helen.
Though Hermione from Harry Potter was pronounced “Her-mon-yay”
Doesn’t know how to pronounce Edinburgh “is it Edingborough, Edinbruh, Edinyuh?”
Wears the Megan top again.
Bought some ugly shoes from Topshop. “I don’t need another pair of boots. I don’t need another pair of snakeskin boots.. but principally these were £85 and they’re now £15...”
Now here comes the Josh Wood gloss hair disaster
She fancies doing something “a little bit different”.“Oh gosh, what am I doing? What am I doing?” She says BEFORE she’s out any colour on her head. Puts a tiny bit on on the ends
“Ah tit, it’s purple”
keeps putting it on even though she KNOWS it’s purple.“My name’s Helen and I’m a bleeping idiot. What am I doing?”
Cut to it being “done” and dry.
“I might have a little cry. Cos is it my fault that I continued to put it on............? .....Maybe it is?”
Yes of course it is you dipshit
Next day now stutters over her words that she’s “ova ma ‘air sit’ashun”
Blames her hormones for making her so upset and sensitive and said she felt guilty for having a rant on IG but felt that she was trying to give useful information to her followers and an excuse as to why her hair turned out crappy, and then she started doubting herself and wondered if it was her own fault and felt bad for bad mouthing “but whateva” (obviously not bad enough to issue an apology on the same platform and method in which you used trashed the company though huh....) “I’m over it haha!” Cos Phil bought her chocolates to cheer her up. The feeder.
Goes on and on about not feeling right down there (for fucks same Helen you just said you were due your period, this ain’t brand new) she’ says she’s got post holiday blues mixed with hormones
She’s going to do house work because she “loves cleaning” (I think Josie would disagree with you there love
) goes on about how housework does wonders for her mood and how she loves it.“I love cleaning bathrooms, I dunno why, maybe it’s because I love my hands in nice hot water” (how about using nice hot water (and soap) to wash your hands after you take a piss you dirty git)
Cut to her again saying how she’s over her hair and how she’s going to “fade it out” (spoiler she doesn’t, she strips the fucker) “but whatevz”
Shows up close her make up and acknowledges that her lipstick always looks a bleeping mess
“I’m such a rutter when it comes to make up I just use the same tit over and over again” yet she still accepts hundreds of free PR make up
Complains about the fact she’s almost eaten a box of chocolates and now has to hide the last two remaining ones because she doesn’t want Phil to be shocked at how much she’s eaten.
Time to take her mum on a “birthday magical mystery tour” Sustainable Helen buys a load of plastic wrapped plastic banners to decorate her car with. Opens the packaging with her teeth and spits out the small plastic from her mouth into the breeze
She was gonna make a sign that said “honk for Sue” (so cringe)
“You got your (birthday girl) badge? You might get some freebies!!!!” Cos it’s allllll about freebies isn’t it Helen
“Is it bye-Chester mum? Oh bisssster”
Helen walks around an incredibly busy Bicester village with no mask on - good to see that her mum on the other hand has one on!
In fact the whole vlog we never see her wear one...
Eclair snack break time “it’s well busy here” she sounds pissed off.
Says that she INSISTED that they go to get an eclair even though her mum didn’t want one “but I want a snack” Helen demands.
She asks her mum if she’s pronouncing Byechester right her mum snaps at her “Bicester!” and she says “alright... I mispronounce things muuum.” “I just can’t read” said the teacher
then mispronounces it again and complains how busy it was.So its Prosecco time because they’ve arrived at the hotel. Pops it and spills it on the carpet (surprised she’s not on the floor trying to slurp it up) but she got her Covid mouth round the bottle to stop it over flowing and now she’s going to share that with her mum. Because covid; sharing is
God she is sooooo loud, she’s practically shouting at her mum when she talks.
Points at the mess and does a load of whining noises whilst holding the bottle - fully expecting her mum to clean it up “loooook” she says pointing the mess out to her mum.
“Me and Sue have just been for tacos, now we’re going for some giiiiin”
The Megan top is back again
Tells her mum that they’re going canoeing and asks her what she thinks - her mum laughs nervously and says she’s not sure. She genuinely sounds nervous. But it’s not her special day, it’s Helen’s and damn it all to hell if Sue would be the one to stop Helen from getting on a boat to celebrate a birthday!
Mum’s wearing a mask around people, Helen is not. “What you nervous for mum? Look we can watch these ladies get on” the ladies look back and laugh, great give more attention to your poor mum’s anxiety
she doesn’t want to get on the bleeping boat.Makes her mum film her whilst she’s rowing - so poor mum is not able to see the sights or even attempt to relax as she’s balancing holding a camera with holding on for dear life and attempting to direct Helen on where to steer.
They finish their boat ride “get out Sue”
Helen takes the opportunity to go shopping to a vintage store to buy a bunch of stuff.
Keeps calling her mum Sue
Dinner’s been eaten and back in the hotel she decides to tell the camera that her mum is naked
“no I’m not” Sue says behind the camera,
“that’s a bra and what is that...?”
“My petticoat.”
“Hehe petticoat. Why do you have a petticoat, mum?”
.....Jesus, it’s like I’m watching an episode of Peppa Pig
Helen looks really drunk. Unsurprising. Wtf is going on with that hair?
Complains that her mum goes “uh?” every time she says something “That’s cos you mumble!!” Says her mum - oh dear... even your own mum’s noticing your mumbling slurred drunken speech Helen, time to step awayyy from the booze
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@Lunamoon22 Even though I'm a new poster, I'm a long time lurker and your summaries are awesome. Hilarious and informative.
I caved and watched the rest of the vlog. When Sue puts on her mask on entering Bicester, Helen can be heard to say "Oh, mum, your mask looks so nice!" whilst not wearing a mask herself.... I so want to be done with this girl. I hate myself for hate-watching her.
I caved and watched the rest of the vlog. When Sue puts on her mask on entering Bicester, Helen can be heard to say "Oh, mum, your mask looks so nice!" whilst not wearing a mask herself.... I so want to be done with this girl. I hate myself for hate-watching her.
Aw thank you
I try and save people from giving her a click by writing the summaries, but she’s like a car crash that you just can’t turn away from 
@Lunamoon22 thanks again for the epic round up!
Can’t believe she’s not wearing a mask it’s been mandatory in shops now since 24th July!! I can’t stand her anymore as it is, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Can’t believe she’s not wearing a mask
it’s been mandatory in shops now since 24th July!! I can’t stand her anymore as it is, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg.She sure is!Aw thank you
My final comments on this vlog, I swear.. when she asked her mum about what a petticoat is for and her mum was like (paraphrasing here) "it's for, you know, when sometimes stuff you wear clings a bit?" was that a sly dig? I hope so.
Also, there is no way in heck I believe she is a serious walker when she's so out of breath from walking up some steps in Bath? I know they can be steep in ancient(?) cities, but still, not really much compared to Scafell Pike. I know there's different kinds of fitness and fell walking is kind of it's own thing, but PLEASE...
Luna, saving us from Helen one vlog at a time 
Fab as alwaysshouldn’t have laughed but I still did
Attachments
This is my absolute fav thing I have ever read on this site 
amazing Luna!!!
amazing Luna!!! WEEKLY VLOG SUMMARY: Hormones, Hair Gone Wrong & Mum’s Birthday
Buckle peeps, this vlog has EIGHT adverts! (That’s one every 2.77 minutes)
She back from her Scotland holiday. It was great.
She didn’t feel well. Woke up at 7am fell asleep and then woke up later. “THAT NEVER HAPPENS” she yells (except it does happen - check her quarantine vlogs
She had a Jimmy Buffett party with her mates on Saturday
Isolated heroes sent her more masks probably because she keeps promoting other people’s masks and not the thousands of masks they sent her... orrrr they’re trying to give her a massive bleeping hint to wear the damn things
Moans about how editing taking her soooo long.
She’s excited about her Scotland trip video to go up - no upload anxiety there - despite her borderline racist pronunciation of the places she visited (Im talking about the “falls of Measach” episode where she deliberately adds a bunch of schshkshskshhch at the end
“I’m not very good at reading. I’m not very good at reading” says teacher Helen.
Though Hermione from Harry Potter was pronounced “Her-mon-yay”
Doesn’t know how to pronounce Edinburgh “is it Edingborough, Edinbruh, Edinyuh?”
Wears the Megan top again.
Bought some ugly shoes from Topshop. “I don’t need another pair of boots. I don’t need another pair of snakeskin boots.. but principally these were £85 and they’re now £15...”
Now here comes the Josh Wood gloss hair disaster
“Oh gosh, what am I doing? What am I doing?” She says BEFORE she’s out any colour on her head. Puts a tiny bit on on the ends
“Ah tit, it’s purple”
“My name’s Helen and I’m a bleeping idiot. What am I doing?”
Cut to it being “done” and dry.
“I might have a little cry. Cos is it my fault that I continued to put it on............? .....Maybe it is?”
Yes of course it is you dipshit
Next day now stutters over her words that she’s “ova ma ‘air sit’ashun”
Blames her hormones for making her so upset and sensitive and said she felt guilty for having a rant on IG but felt that she was trying to give useful information to her followers and an excuse as to why her hair turned out crappy, and then she started doubting herself and wondered if it was her own fault and felt bad for bad mouthing “but whateva” (obviously not bad enough to issue an apology on the same platform and method in which you used trashed the company though huh....) “I’m over it haha!” Cos Phil bought her chocolates to cheer her up. The feeder.
Goes on and on about not feeling right down there (for fucks same Helen you just said you were due your period, this ain’t brand new) she’ says she’s got post holiday blues mixed with hormones
She’s going to do house work because she “loves cleaning” (I think Josie would disagree with you there love
“I love cleaning bathrooms, I dunno why, maybe it’s because I love my hands in nice hot water” (how about using nice hot water (and soap) to wash your hands after you take a piss you dirty git)
Cut to her again saying how she’s over her hair and how she’s going to “fade it out” (spoiler she doesn’t, she strips the fucker) “but whatevz”
Shows up close her make up and acknowledges that her lipstick always looks a bleeping mess
“I’m such a rutter when it comes to make up I just use the same tit over and over again” yet she still accepts hundreds of free PR make up
Complains about the fact she’s almost eaten a box of chocolates and now has to hide the last two remaining ones because she doesn’t want Phil to be shocked at how much she’s eaten.
Time to take her mum on a “birthday magical mystery tour” Sustainable Helen buys a load of plastic wrapped plastic banners to decorate her car with. Opens the packaging with her teeth and spits out the small plastic from her mouth into the breeze
She was gonna make a sign that said “honk for Sue” (so cringe)
“You got your (birthday girl) badge? You might get some freebies!!!!” Cos it’s allllll about freebies isn’t it Helen
“Is it bye-Chester mum? Oh bisssster”
Helen walks around an incredibly busy Bicester village with no mask on - good to see that her mum on the other hand has one on!
View attachment 230263
In fact the whole vlog we never see her wear one...
Eclair snack break time “it’s well busy here” she sounds pissed off.
Says that she INSISTED that they go to get an eclair even though her mum didn’t want one “but I want a snack” Helen demands.
She asks her mum if she’s pronouncing Byechester right her mum snaps at her “Bicester!” and she says “alright... I mispronounce things muuum.” “I just can’t read” said the teacher
So its Prosecco time because they’ve arrived at the hotel. Pops it and spills it on the carpet (surprised she’s not on the floor trying to slurp it up) but she got her Covid mouth round the bottle to stop it over flowing and now she’s going to share that with her mum. Because covid; sharing iscaringkilling.
God she is sooooo loud, she’s practically shouting at her mum when she talks.
Points at the mess and does a load of whining noises whilst holding the bottle - fully expecting her mum to clean it up “loooook” she says pointing the mess out to her mum.
View attachment 230253
“Me and Sue have just been for tacos, now we’re going for some giiiiin”
The Megan top is back again
Tells her mum that they’re going canoeing and asks her what she thinks - her mum laughs nervously and says she’s not sure. She genuinely sounds nervous. But it’s not her special day, it’s Helen’s and damn it all to hell if Sue would be the one to stop Helen from getting on a boat to celebrate a birthday!
Mum’s wearing a mask around people, Helen is not. “What you nervous for mum? Look we can watch these ladies get on” the ladies look back and laugh, great give more attention to your poor mum’s anxiety
Makes her mum film her whilst she’s rowing - so poor mum is not able to see the sights or even attempt to relax as she’s balancing holding a camera with holding on for dear life and attempting to direct Helen on where to steer.
They finish their boat ride “get out Sue”
Helen takes the opportunity to go shopping to a vintage store to buy a bunch of stuff.
Keeps calling her mum Sue
Dinner’s been eaten and back in the hotel she decides to tell the camera that her mum is naked
“no I’m not” Sue says behind the camera,
“that’s a bra and what is that...?”
“My petticoat.”
“Hehe petticoat. Why do you have a petticoat, mum?”
.....Jesus, it’s like I’m watching an episode of Peppa Pig
Helen looks really drunk. Unsurprising. Wtf is going on with that hair?
View attachment 230265
Complains that her mum goes “uh?” every time she says something “That’s cos you mumble!!” Says her mum - oh dear... even your own mum’s noticing your mumbling slurred drunken speech Helen, time to step awayyy from the booze
Let's all go like it - before it gets deleted!
- Status