Heartbreak.

[gigi_93]

I don’t think he will come back to me either, as I’ve said he’s very stubborn so even if he wants to, he won’t.

I don’t think he’s used the pandemic as an excuse, I think the pandemic is the reason itself. He got sick of waiting, although I’m not sure why he couldn’t wait a few more weeks since we’ve already waited a year. That’s crazy to me.

I made the mistake of reading the letter he wrote me on Christmas Day this morning. Full of promises about how distance will never ever split us up and how devoted he is to me. How can someone’s mind change so much in a few weeks?!

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

This thread makes me so sad, sending virtual hugs to OP and everyone else who’s feeling or have felt heartbreak. This is long story, but it might help someone who’s feels like they’ll never smile, laugh or love again. sorry for the length.


Many, many years ago I was head over heels in love, we spoke about getting a house together and I fell pregnant.. he wasn’t keen and he talked about abortion, said we would have kids when the time was ready. I really wanted the baby, but it wasn’t to be because I miscarried before we could even discuss our options. I was crushed, I remember being in the car with him and him promising me we would have kids one day. I was just totally devastated and I went into a bit of a depressive state. On Boxing Day, a month after the miscarriage he dumped me. Said he wasn’t feeling it anymore and never wanted kids at all, he just said that to make me feel better. So in the months that followed I stopped eating, sleeping, signed off from work, my day was constantly refreshing any of his social media, sending him text after text. My mum threatened to force feed me, I lost a lot of weight, my mum dragged me to the doctor and i was given medication and had to see a counsellor. The girl that walked into the counselling sessions was a crying mess, 6 weeks later I walked out not healed, but making progress. I will never, ever forget how it felt, the pain, it was a physically sick feeling. I did some questionable stuff throughout the breakup, I even messaged a girl I knew he was going to the cinema with! But heartbreak does funny things to people. I promise time is a massive healer, i thought I’d never feel like me again but I promise, that isn’t the case. Obviously he started to realise I was becoming the old me and wanted to try again. It didn’t work, the damage was done.

This is slightly diff and probably for a diff thread but A while later when I felt ready to date, I met someone else,many red flags from the start but we were good friends and I think it could have progressed but he just wanted to be a single guy and have me there whenever he needed a bit of a confidence boost, someone to be his punchbag, he told me he was “single and could do what he wanted” so I made a decision to not allow myself to get hurt again. To draw a line and move on... ofcourse as soon as he’s heard I’ve moved on, he decided he wanted to make a proper go of it. It was as if it was game to him, that he had to win, pure jealousy or his ego got the better off him. But unfortunately it was just too toxic for me to give it a go and walked away. He couldn’t take no for an answer. He didn’t care that I was happy. he literally watched my every move for the next 2.5 yrs, would create fake profiles and send me nasty, horrible messages calling me a fat mess, thunder thighs, woman, make fun of my my family, message my family through social media, make fun of me for running, watch my boyfriends social media and so on. Said he would stop if I just went back to him... didn’t matter than I didn’t want him. He has stopped the past week or so as he’s met a new girl and I feel just so strange. Like I’m maybe now eventually free from having to worry about fake profiles and drama. I don’t care for him or want him back - I think I’m just so beaten down by his constant narcissistic behaviour that that’s why I’m feeling really weird, I never got the closure or truth from him as to why he has treated me so disgustingly. I think it doesn’t matter how bad a relationship ended, we all have questions we want answered. It can still make our hearts sad when we see people have moved on as we wonder why we got hurt and other people get treated with respect. We ask why we weren’t good enough. Did they ever truly care for us?

I’m still with the person I met 2.5yrs ago and we are really happy, we have a lovely life together, and honestly it’s everything I’ve ever wanted. My partner is lovely and makes me smile every single day. Sometimes life doesn’t go as planned but sometimes it works out for the best and we end up even happier than we could ever have imagined!, it might feel like the end of the world now but everyday is a day closer to healing. There will be days you feel crap, want to stalk social media etc... then there will be days that we don’t even think about those that have hurt us and left us at all.
many years ago when I went through that heartbreak I couldn’t have imagined ever moving on and being in love with anyone that wasn’t my ex, I genuinely never thought I’d smile again or laugh or even leave the house. Time is a great healer.

thinking of you all. We all have our stories of heartbreak. Just remember better days are ahead, maybe not today, or tomorrow or even in a week but one day you will laugh again, and your smile will return. It would be silly to expect to not be hurting right now when you love someone so much and don’t have the closure or the answers you need. You’ll feel so many emotions, sad, hurt, angry, betrayed... but one day it’ll all make sense xo

 

[ClockworkDolly]

I don’t think he will come back to me either, as I’ve said he’s very stubborn so even if he wants to, he won’t.

I don’t think he’s used the pandemic as an excuse, I think the pandemic is the reason itself. He got sick of waiting, although I’m not sure why he couldn’t wait a few more weeks since we’ve already waited a year. That’s crazy to me.

I made the mistake of reading the letter he wrote me on Christmas Day this morning. Full of promises about how distance will never ever split us up and how devoted he is to me. How can someone’s mind change so much in a few weeks?!

Put the letter away in a box and hide it in a safe place. One day you’ll have the emotional strength to read it again and you will be reading it with a different mindset.

As heartbreaking as this is for you, I think you now have to start trying to heal your broken heart. Gosh it’s not easy, I’ve been there many times and now in my mid-fifties, I’m glad I’ve made the decision not to have any more relationships. But, I’m guessing you’re much younger and you have your life to live and new relationships are out there waiting for you.

Break-ups are not just something you can “get over” in a heartbeat, unless you’re made of stone.

My last relationship was a disaster from the off, but I was with him for 5 years. It took me a long time to get him out of my head and heart and he was, by and large, a horrible man to be with.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that one day he will find himself a backbone and have the decency to tell you why he broke your relationship in two.

 

[Imonlyme]

I don't have anyone that I can stay with.

I completely understand how you're feeling right now. I was in the same place almost 7 years ago. I couldn't eat or concentrate on anything and it took me a while to adjust.

I sought help from a counsellor because I couldn't cope with the gut wrenching feelings of loss and abandonment. It helped to just have someone impartial to speak to as I don't have any friends and family are not the kind of people who I can speak to about stuff.

My ex came crawling back again after walking out and I was stupid enough to take him back. Although, this time I didn't let him move back in. But that only made things with him even more difficult and after a while, the counselling helped me see that I was in a really toxic, abusive relationship. I'm not saying that you are, but maybe look into speaking to a professional about your feelings and situation.

Realising that I had fallen into another abusive relationship really threw me and it was a lot to process, but it made me look back over our entire relationship and eventually I realised that the signs were there from the very beginning. There were loads of red flags that somehow I hadn't seen.

Eventually, I began distancing myself from him until one day, I finally couldn't take it anymore and had a very triggering experience and was forced to completely shut the door with him. And while I'm still struggling with PTSD from being in 2 really abusive relationships, I know ending things with my ex was the best thing I could ever have done.

I know it's hard, especially because right now you don't really have answers or closure from your partner leaving, but you have to force yourself to keep busy. Do something that will occupy your mind, even if its only for 10 minutes. That's ten minutes you will have gone without thinking about him.

Take every hour as it comes. Don't try to think about tomorrow, or if he will come back. Just concentrate on now, this minute and what you can do for you that's going to help. That's what I did. You may well get back together, you may not. But right now you have to think of yourself just like he's thinking of himself.

It does get better, and with heartbreak, time really is a healer. It's time to put yourself first.

 

[LateG0ssiper]

I completely understand how you're feeling right now. I was in the same place almost 7 years ago. I couldn't eat or concentrate on anything and it took me a while to adjust.

I sought help from a counsellor because I couldn't cope with the gut wrenching feelings of loss and abandonment. It helped to just have someone impartial to speak to as I don't have any friends and family are not the kind of people who I can speak to about stuff.

My ex came crawling back again after walking out and I was stupid enough to take him back. Although, this time I didn't let him move back in. But that only made things with him even more difficult and after a while, the counselling helped me see that I was in a really toxic, abusive relationship. I'm not saying that you are, but maybe look into speaking to a professional about your feelings and situation.

Realising that I had fallen into another abusive relationship really threw me and it was a lot to process, but it made me look back over our entire relationship and eventually I realised that the signs were there from the very beginning. There were loads of red flags that somehow I hadn't seen.

Eventually, I began distancing myself from him until one day, I finally couldn't take it anymore and had a very triggering experience and was forced to completely shut the door with him. And while I'm still struggling with PTSD from being in 2 really abusive relationships, I know ending things with my ex was the best thing I could ever have done.

I know it's hard, especially because right now you don't really have answers or closure from your partner leaving, but you have to force yourself to keep busy. Do something that will occupy your mind, even if its only for 10 minutes. That's ten minutes you will have gone without thinking about him.

Take every hour as it comes. Don't try to think about tomorrow, or if he will come back. Just concentrate on now, this minute and what you can do for you that's going to help. That's what I did. You may well get back together, you may not. But right now you have to think of yourself just like he's thinking of himself.

It does get better, and with heartbreak, time really is a healer. It's time to put yourself first.

I do really appreciate your message. Thank you.

I've had another day of bursting into tears (at work). I have told one other person here (my boss already knows) and they are being very nice and understanding but I'm not sure it really helps. I have now been prescribed Propranolol, does anyone have any experience with this? I have so far been taking Diazepam a few time a day and something else for sleep (I forget the name) but have been told I can't continue with either as they can become addictive.

I still feel completely hopeless and am dreading going home and sleeping in that bed.

 

[gigi_93]

Put the letter away in a box and hide it in a safe place. One day you’ll have the emotional strength to read it again and you will be reading it with a different mindset.

As heartbreaking as this is for you, I think you now have to start trying to heal your broken heart. Gosh it’s not easy, I’ve been there many times and now in my mid-fifties, I’m glad I’ve made the decision not to have any more relationships. But, I’m guessing you’re much younger and you have your life to live and new relationships are out there waiting for you.

Break-ups are not just something you can “get over” in a heartbeat, unless you’re made of stone.

My last relationship was a disaster from the off, but I was with him for 5 years. It took me a long time to get him out of my head and heart and he was, by and large, a horrible man to be with.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that one day he will find himself a backbone and have the decency to tell you why he broke your relationship in two.

I’ve put all of his letters and notes in an envelope along with the smaller gifts like jewellery and the shells we collected on our first day together. I’m leaving them at the bottom of my wardrobe for now. The cuddly toys are still on my bed, I can’t bear to move them.

I’m at the age where we wanted to get married and have kids and that’s all we ever discussed. 2020 was supposed to be the year we did that, but the world had other ideas. Thank you for the support. I hope he can find it in him to give me an explanation

This thread makes me so sad, sending virtual hugs to OP and everyone else who’s feeling or have felt heartbreak. This is long story, but it might help someone who’s feels like they’ll never smile, laugh or love again. sorry for the length.


Many, many years ago I was head over heels in love, we spoke about getting a house together and I fell pregnant.. he wasn’t keen and he talked about abortion, said we would have kids when the time was ready. I really wanted the baby, but it wasn’t to be because I miscarried before we could even discuss our options. I was crushed, I remember being in the car with him and him promising me we would have kids one day. I was just totally devastated and I went into a bit of a depressive state. On Boxing Day, a month after the miscarriage he dumped me. Said he wasn’t feeling it anymore and never wanted kids at all, he just said that to make me feel better. So in the months that followed I stopped eating, sleeping, signed off from work, my day was constantly refreshing any of his social media, sending him text after text. My mum threatened to force feed me, I lost a lot of weight, my mum dragged me to the doctor and i was given medication and had to see a counsellor. The girl that walked into the counselling sessions was a crying mess, 6 weeks later I walked out not healed, but making progress. I will never, ever forget how it felt, the pain, it was a physically sick feeling. I did some questionable stuff throughout the breakup, I even messaged a girl I knew he was going to the cinema with! But heartbreak does funny things to people. I promise time is a massive healer, i thought I’d never feel like me again but I promise, that isn’t the case. Obviously he started to realise I was becoming the old me and wanted to try again. It didn’t work, the damage was done.

This is slightly diff and probably for a diff thread but A while later when I felt ready to date, I met someone else,many red flags from the start but we were good friends and I think it could have progressed but he just wanted to be a single guy and have me there whenever he needed a bit of a confidence boost, someone to be his punchbag, he told me he was “single and could do what he wanted” so I made a decision to not allow myself to get hurt again. To draw a line and move on... ofcourse as soon as he’s heard I’ve moved on, he decided he wanted to make a proper go of it. It was as if it was game to him, that he had to win, pure jealousy or his ego got the better off him. But unfortunately it was just too toxic for me to give it a go and walked away. He couldn’t take no for an answer. He didn’t care that I was happy. he literally watched my every move for the next 2.5 yrs, would create fake profiles and send me nasty, horrible messages calling me a fat mess, thunder thighs, woman, make fun of my my family, message my family through social media, make fun of me for running, watch my boyfriends social media and so on. Said he would stop if I just went back to him... didn’t matter than I didn’t want him. He has stopped the past week or so as he’s met a new girl and I feel just so strange. Like I’m maybe now eventually free from having to worry about fake profiles and drama. I don’t care for him or want him back - I think I’m just so beaten down by his constant narcissistic behaviour that that’s why I’m feeling really weird, I never got the closure or truth from him as to why he has treated me so disgustingly. I think it doesn’t matter how bad a relationship ended, we all have questions we want answered. It can still make our hearts sad when we see people have moved on as we wonder why we got hurt and other people get treated with respect. We ask why we weren’t good enough. Did they ever truly care for us?

I’m still with the person I met 2.5yrs ago and we are really happy, we have a lovely life together, and honestly it’s everything I’ve ever wanted. My partner is lovely and makes me smile every single day. Sometimes life doesn’t go as planned but sometimes it works out for the best and we end up even happier than we could ever have imagined!, it might feel like the end of the world now but everyday is a day closer to healing. There will be days you feel crap, want to stalk social media etc... then there will be days that we don’t even think about those that have hurt us and left us at all.
many years ago when I went through that heartbreak I couldn’t have imagined ever moving on and being in love with anyone that wasn’t my ex, I genuinely never thought I’d smile again or laugh or even leave the house. Time is a great healer.

thinking of you all. We all have our stories of heartbreak. Just remember better days are ahead, maybe not today, or tomorrow or even in a week but one day you will laugh again, and your smile will return. It would be silly to expect to not be hurting right now when you love someone so much and don’t have the closure or the answers you need. You’ll feel so many emotions, sad, hurt, angry, betrayed... but one day it’ll all make sense xo

God you’ve been through it girl. Thank you for sharing your stories. I’m so happy you’ve come out the other side I honestly don’t know how I’ve managed to stop myself stalking him online but so far I haven’t done it since he blocked me. I’m too scared of seeing something I won’t want to see.

 

[Bellaboo83]

I do really appreciate your message. Thank you.

I've had another day of bursting into tears (at work). I have told one other person here (my boss already knows) and they are being very nice and understanding but I'm not sure it really helps. I have now been prescribed Propranolol, does anyone have any experience with this? I have so far been taking Diazepam a few time a day and something else for sleep (I forget the name) but have been told I can't continue with either as they can become addictive.

I still feel completely hopeless and am dreading going home and sleeping in that bed.

Yes I took propranolol after my break up, it definitely helped. Made my body feel calmer, I started to get my appetite back and could sleep better after starting that. I needed it for about 2 months, it just got me through the worst. Once your body doesn't feel so on edge you can start to process things better in your head I think xx

 

[gigi_93]

How would I go about getting propranolol? Did you just explain the situation? I would love to be able to sleep and for my heart rate to just come down

 

[Bellaboo83]

How would I go about getting propranolol? Did you just explain the situation? I would love to be able to sleep and for my heart rate to just come down

Talk to your doctor about what is happening, explain that your heart is beating very fast, you feel on edge all the time and that's making eating and sleeping impossible. It worked to make me feel better within the hour. When your body is in fight or flight your brain is anticipating danger so is on high alert with anxiety.... When your body relaxes and comes out of fight or flight your brain relaxes a little bit too. It won't do anything to take the pain of the heart ache away but when you can eat and sleep better you will feel a bit stronger physically to cope with it all, that's what I found anyway

Eta - its really important you go through a doctor to get it though as there are some reasons why taking it isn't recommended and your doctor can properly assess that.

 

[LateG0ssiper]

How would I go about getting propranolol? Did you just explain the situation? I would love to be able to sleep and for my heart rate to just come down

I'm not able to send you a private message, can you send one to me?

 

[Imonlyme]

I do really appreciate your message. Thank you.

I've had another day of bursting into tears (at work). I have told one other person here (my boss already knows) and they are being very nice and understanding but I'm not sure it really helps. I have now been prescribed Propranolol, does anyone have any experience with this? I have so far been taking Diazepam a few time a day and something else for sleep (I forget the name) but have been told I can't continue with either as they can become addictive.

I still feel completely hopeless and am dreading going home and sleeping in that bed.

Do you have a TV in your bedroom? If so, put on a movie or show that makes you laugh and feel good until you feel tired enough to sleep, read a book maybe, nothing romance related. Or for tonight, even sleep on the sofa until you feel like you can get into bed because the better and more sleep you have each night will help you to cope with how you're feeling.

Also, make sure you're eating. I know it's hard to have an appetite when you're going through something like this, but even a slice of toast is better than nothing. You have to look after yourself and make this time about you, because if he doesn't come back, you have to be able to look after yourself and eventually move on.

This might sound harsh, but for your partner to just leave the way he did is cruel. He is thinking of only himself and what he needs and you have to do the same. Don't be so ready to accept him back if he changes his mind and comes crawling back because you will only be setting a standard for yourself where he thinks it's okay to just up and leave whenever the going gets tough.

I really hope you feel better soon, but you can always send me a message if you need to chat.

 

[LateG0ssiper]

Do you have a TV in your bedroom? If so, put on a movie or show that makes you laugh and feel good until you feel tired enough to sleep, read a book maybe, nothing romance related. Or for tonight, even sleep on the sofa until you feel like you can get into bed because the better and more sleep you have each night will help you to cope with how you're feeling.

Also, make sure you're eating. I know it's hard to have an appetite when you're going through something like this, but even a slice of toast is better than nothing. You have to look after yourself and make this time about you, because if he doesn't come back, you have to be able to look after yourself and eventually move on.

This might sound harsh, but for your partner to just leave the way he did is cruel. He is thinking of only himself and what he needs and you have to do the same. Don't be so ready to accept him back if he changes his mind and comes crawling back because you will only be setting a standard for yourself where he thinks it's okay to just up and leave whenever the going gets tough.

I really hope you feel better soon, but you can always send me a message if you need to chat.

Thank you for your very kind message.

I've been in bed with the TV on every night until the sleeping tablets kick in. Unfortunately, they only seem to work for a couple of hours then I'm wide awake again for most of the night. I was going to try the sofa but it's not really one that you can sleep on. I feel sick almost constantly and when I force myself to eat I feel even more sick. I know what you mean about having to look after myself. I'm trying not to think too far into the future at the moment as it makes me panic and get more upset.

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

I’ve put all of his letters and notes in an envelope along with the smaller gifts like jewellery and the shells we collected on our first day together. I’m leaving them at the bottom of my wardrobe for now. The cuddly toys are still on my bed, I can’t bear to move them.

I’m at the age where we wanted to get married and have kids and that’s all we ever discussed. 2020 was supposed to be the year we did that, but the world had other ideas. Thank you for the support. I hope he can find it in him to give me an explanation



God you’ve been through it girl. Thank you for sharing your stories. I’m so happy you’ve come out the other side I honestly don’t know how I’ve managed to stop myself stalking him online but so far I haven’t done it since he blocked me. I’m too scared of seeing something I won’t want to see.

Some days are still difficult as my anxiety gets the better off me and I start to overthink. But hopefully now he’s met someone, it’ll mean I get peace. Till she realises what a dick he is no doubt!
Well done on not searching his social media, I always found that really hard not to do but I think I’m just very nosey also! It’s like you know you might see something that’ll hurt or trigger old memories but it’s like a form of self harm, you do it anyway. I think we forget too that not everything we see on social media is true, nobody posts their bad photos, the crap they’re going through... it’s all sunshine and happiness. So we never really know what’s going on, we then just allow our mind to make up whatever it wants and start to overthink, get sad, angry etc on something we have totally just made up in our minds!... I don’t think it helps that everyone’s lives have been put on hold, so we spend more of our time on social media...

I hope that you get the answers you need, I hope he build a backbone and shows you the respect you deserve and explain to you why he’s basically ghosted you. Perhaps he’s been finding it hard seeing you on social media so felt very needed to ghost you, not an excuse at all but some men just don’t deal with their emotions very well. From past experience I usually find they come back when you start to heal your broken heart and smile again. But by then you’ll be stronger and each day that passes you will get stronger. Some days you might have a wee blip and take two steps back but you’re only human. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Truly believe I’ve never felt pain like heartbreak. x

 

[gigi_93]

I'm not able to send you a private message, can you send one to me?

I didn’t realise I had that turned off, I’ve turned it on now so you should be able to send one

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

Thank you for your very kind message.

I've been in bed with the TV on every night until the sleeping tablets kick in. Unfortunately, they only seem to work for a couple of hours then I'm wide awake again for most of the night. I was going to try the sofa but it's not really one that you can sleep on. I feel sick almost constantly and when I force myself to eat I feel even more sick. I know what you mean about having to look after myself. I'm trying not to think too far into the future at the moment as it makes me panic and get more upset.

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Its such a shame there’s no magical pill we can take or a time machine to take us far into the future to take the pain away and make it all better. Time is a great healer, and that’s not ideal for you right now one day you’ll surprise yourself, you’ll smile a little more, laugh a little louder and you’ll feel so much stronger. As cliche as it sounds. This pain isn’t forever and I truly promise that even though I know it feels like it is. I hope peace finds you soon x

 

[LateG0ssiper]

I didn’t realise I had that turned off, I’ve turned it on now so you should be able to send one

Still not able to contact you, if you send one to me I can let you know my process, what I've been prescribed so far, what has helped me (or not!) etc.

 

[Imonlyme]

Thank you for your very kind message.

I've been in bed with the TV on every night until the sleeping tablets kick in. Unfortunately, they only seem to work for a couple of hours then I'm wide awake again for most of the night. I was going to try the sofa but it's not really one that you can sleep on. I feel sick almost constantly and when I force myself to eat I feel even more sick. I know what you mean about having to look after myself. I'm trying not to think too far into the future at the moment as it makes me panic and get more upset.

I hate that feeling of panic and upset after a break up. It just feels like there's a big fog around you and you can't see through it. But honestly, you will get through this.

Have you considered talking to a counsellor? I think it might help. It did for me. Even try writing down exactly how you're feeling even if it doesn't make sense.

I'm glad you are sleeping in your bed, even if it's only for a few hours, that's better than none. Just know that you're strong enough to get through this, even if right now you don't feel like you are. Like I said, just take each minute as it comes and try not to think too far ahead. Each hour that passes is an hour that you got through it.

If you're really struggling to eat make sure you're staying hydrated and soon enough your body will let you know when it needs to eat. Just do what you can to occupy yourself. Play a game on your phone, blare some feel good music. Some people like to clean their homes when feeling a way just to take their mind off their issues. Get outside and take in some fresh air as it will clear your mind a little. Do anything that you can think of to busy yourself.

 

[LateG0ssiper]

I hate that feeling of panic and upset after a break up. It just feels like there's a big fog around you and you can't see through it. But honestly, you will get through this.

Have you considered talking to a counsellor? I think it might help. It did for me. Even try writing down exactly how you're feeling even if it doesn't make sense.

I'm glad you are sleeping in your bed, even if it's only for a few hours, that's better than none. Just know that you're strong enough to get through this, even if right now you don't feel like you are. Like I said, just take each minute as it comes and try not to think too far ahead. Each hour that passes is an hour that you got through it.

If you're really struggling to eat make sure you're staying hydrated and soon enough your body will let you know when it needs to eat. Just do what you can to occupy yourself. Play a game on your phone, blare some feel good music. Some people like to clean their homes when feeling a way just to take their mind off their issues. Get outside and take in some fresh air as it will clear your mind a little. Do anything that you can think of to busy yourself.

I have applied via a link from my GP for counselling but who knows how long that will take with the NHS. I don't really want to go to private counselling at the moment as I'm thinking my monthly outgoings could soon double. I just want him to see sense and come home, I really do think that lockdown has caused this, I just wish he'd spoken to me before it all became too much. It seems like he's had a breakdown from everything building up inside him.

 

[Imonlyme]

I have applied via a link from my GP for counselling but who knows how long that will take with the NHS. I don't really want to go to private counselling at the moment as I'm thinking my monthly outgoings could soon double. I just want him to see sense and come home, I really do think that lockdown has caused this, I just wish he'd spoken to me before it all became too much. It seems like he's had a breakdown from everything building up inside him.

It is possible that he's struggling with his own issues through lockdown, but honestly, that still doesn't excuse him just leaving without even having the decency to talk to you face to face.

Even if he has his issues it's important that you deal with yourself before trying to help him. Take it from someone who knows and has been there, don't ever lose yourself trying to hold onto someone that thinks nothing of just up and leaving you.

Who knows, the time apart might do you both the world of good. I know that right now the last thing you want to think about or hear, is your life without him. But, as you say your outgoings may well double soon, so you have to think about yourself and what you need before him and his needs.

I was forever making excuses for why my ex would just walk out on me. I knew he had his own issues and would constantly make allowances for that. But at the end of the day, no matter a person's issues, they can still have common decency and respect for their partner and not leave without a word. You don't need for his issues to become yours.

I obviously don't know the ins and outs of your relationship, but all I can know is that you should be what matters most to yourself. Don't put his needs ahead of your own.

 

[under the ivy]

I’ve been reading a book on a night to get me off my phone (to stop the urge to stalk...) and the bloody main character has the same name as my ex