Humor from The New Yorker.
Hypothetical drafts of the Queen’s response:
“Sixth Draft”
“Like many of you, after watching the interview with Harry and Meghan, we were shocked by Harry’s hair loss and also by his socks. But we made it a point to listen carefully to their truth, even though there were stretches when we dozed, which was our truth. Although we are a deeply private family, we felt it imperative to listen to Harry and Meghan, to take into account their concerns—to right the ship, as it were. And what we took away most clearly is that Meghan felt like a little mermaid. And so we took time to watch the animated film “The Little Mermaid.” We had no idea that Meghan was born a mermaid who lost her voice and then transformed into a human. Though I should not be surprised—as once, at Sandringham, I saw her swim and she was absolutely marvellous.”
“Fourth Draft”
“As a result of the quite remarkable events of Sunday evening, I would like to address nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. As I watched the interview—along with millions of others worldwide—I could not help but be struck by the number of advertisements for medications that seem to cause a great deal of nausea, vomiting, et cetera. Both Charles and William called halfway through the programme to say that they had counted thirty-two television commercials by that time, and that most seemed to be for medications that caused these horrific side effects. “Mummy, what’s going on in America?” Charles shouted. We are saddened by the gastrointestinal illnesses plaguing so many Americans, and we hope that Harry and Meghan and Archie get better soon.”