Harry and Meghan #299 Spare The book that makes Twilight look like Tolstoy

[Sunlifeover50]

Quoting myself but I can't believe I forgot to add the fucking singing Seals!!!

Wasnt there some birds who were dead behind the eyes too?

 

[toninottony]

Can't they start in Montecito ffs? (Joke).

no they’ll have to wait until the evacuation orders are lifted (I live in California so I have a sense of entitlement to make those kind of jokes)

 

[Chancey Belle]

What the hell is a gurgle of recognition?

I think the common man calls it a fart and in a toddlers world.....a fart and a full nappy with a mischievous grin.

 

[wibble]

Men get very bored of women that cry all the time and Meghan never seems to stop, her eyes must be permanently swollen.

It depends on the strength of the man's saviour complex.
Remember Harry is saving Meghan from her terrible childhood of "being sexually abused by her father".

 

[ChaoticArtist]

It’s a harsh lesson in life to realise that it’s for you to want you to be the BEST version of you; everyone else will inevitably want you to be the version of you that suits them best.

This bit took my breath away That too mid-sneeze Seriously though, my friends tell me this but in this moment, what you wrote seems so significant.

Not to sound like ol' Bristle Head though I really believe in signs from the Universe, Nature's little signals etc, but have to keep checking myself now to make sure I don't sound as ..off my rocker as he does.


Mum was just telling me that Felix scared a random lady by barking loudly today. She said that the lady was complaining that she had a heart attack, and I just blurted out, "Why, did she see Smegs?" I think I need to limit my tattling to Tattle because that eyeroll looked really dangerous

 

[Meemew]

Drivel excerpt (thanks Anna2020):

She reminded me in a whisper, as if someone might be listening, that she’d taken a handwriting class in high school, and as a result she’d always had excellent penmanship. People complimented her. She’d even used this skill at university to earn spare money. Nights, weekends, she’d inscribed wedding and birthday-party invitations, to pay the rent. Now people were trying to say that this was some kind of window into her soul? And the window was dirty?
Meg wanted to sue. Me too. Rather, we both felt we had no choice. If we didn’t sue over this, we said, what kind of signal would that be sending? To the press? To the world? So we conferred again with the Palace lawyer. We were given a runaround.
I reached out to Pa and Willy. They’d both sued the press in the past over invasions and lies.
Pa sued over so-called Black Spider Letters, his memos to government officials. Willy sued over topless photos of Kate. But both vehemently opposed the idea of Meg and me taking any legal action.

So…. Charles sues over Govt matters, William sues over invasive nude photos, and Harry wants to sue over TW’s handwriting!!!!

THE WINDOW IS DIRTY

 

[toninottony]

He isn’t 4, my son was born a few days before and he isn’t 4 yet - unless H and Peg has lied about his DOB

Ok sorry bout that so the question is what 3 year old has a fishing net?

 

[minimaz]

The DM had an article about Kate asking Meghan what she thought of the trooping the colour in 2018 and her replying colourful. Looked up the photos and they must be doctored because the Queen and Kate are both wearing blue (Camilla's in a bluey silver) and Meghan, Beatrice and Sophie are all wearing pink but I'm fairly sure we were told by Meghan that it was forbidden to wear the same colours https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/g21240351/trooping-the-colour-2018-photos/

 

[Evangelina]

I cannot begin to tell you how much my whole body cringes when any human over the age of 6 still calls their parents mummy and daddy. If Harold calls Diana mummy once more I shall throw up. Everytime he calls her mummy, I have visions of him as an adult wearing just a nappy and sucking on his thumb or a dummy. Mummy sounds so infantile, creepy and fetishy. Harold, Diana was your mum or your mother, you are an adult, upgrade your vocabulary!

Charles called the Queen Mummy till the day she died.
Philip was Paps.
He is possibly playing the coffin letter marketing side, his note on Diana's coffin said ''Mummy.''

 

[Shushex]

Ah, headstand Charlie. if anything, it shows our (your) kingie is an athlete. who loves cleanliness. and things to the point.

Funny! pisstake of Sparry, quite affectionate to KC!

Eight bizarre revelations about King Charles you probably missed in Spare
When the Duke of Sussex’s book came out, who knew there’d be such surreal tidbits about the monarch’s lives, loves and late night habits?

ByGuy Kelly11 January 2023 • 7:00am

View attachment 1873638
Spare certainly offered a unique insight into our King
It’s up to booksellers to decide where they place copies of Spare, Prince Harry’s quietly released collection of therapy notes. Biography? Could do. Fiction? Oh, you wag. Erotic thriller? That depends how sexy you found War Horse.
One place they’re unlikely to put it is in British History – understandably, given it contains passages like: “I took a hit, looked at the rinsed creamy blue of the California sky. Someone tapped me on the shoulder, said they wanted me to meet Christina Aguilera.”
But to do that would be to overlook Spare’s value as a resource for surreal titbits about the lives, loves and late-night habits of our new King, Charles III. Or as Harry calls him, “Pa”. Here is what we have learned from his son.
1. The royal nose
In a past life Charles “must’ve been a bloodhound”, his son reckons. “He was always sniffing things. Food, roses, our hair,” says Harry.
Maybe, Harold muses, suddenly code-switching to sound like Joan Rivers, “he took all those long sniffs because it was hard to smell anything over his personal scent. Eau Sauvage. He’d slather the stuff on his cheeks, his neck, his shirt. Flowery, with a hint of something harsh, like pepper or gunpowder, it was made in Paris.”
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Impressively arch from the voice of 12-year-old Harry, there, and restraint from the ghostwriter not to invoke the most recent “face” of the perfume, Johnny Depp, when Sauvage comes up.
2. He takes a teddy everywhere
View attachment 1873639
The King supposedly can’t bear to be without his teddy CREDIT: Chris Jackson
Before Camilla truly joined the family, it is written, Charles had a teddy bear. I will resist probing (although note that teddies are popular with royals – Andrew collects them). But the passage in question, about the teddy who had helped him get through Gordonstoun, is sweet. It still goes with him everywhere.
“It was a pitiful object,” observes Harry, a man who can lose his mind over a damaged necklace, “with broken arms and dangly threads, holes patched up here and there... Teddy expressed eloquently, better than Pa ever could, the essential loneliness of his childhood.”
He and Willy thought their father deserved better. “Apologies to Teddy, Pa deserved a proper companion. That was why, when asked, Willy and I promised Pa that we’d welcome Camilla into the family.” And that makes Teddy exceptional in being the only creature who receives a sincere apology in Spare.
3. He likes his women like he likes his coronation…
…which is to say: stripped back, demure, with minimal obvious accoutrements. When Meghan met her future in-laws, Harry gave her some advice. “Her hair was down, because I suggested she wear it that way. Pa likes it when women wear their hair down. Granny too. She often commented on ‘Kate’s beautiful mane’.” Honestly, this family and horses. Therapists must have a field day. A paddock day.
Anyway, “Meg was wearing little make-up, which I’d also suggested,” her de facto stylist Harry continues. “Pa didn’t approve of women who wore a lot.” Of… make up? Or generally? The sentence ends there.
4. He starts the day with a headstand
The King is a creature of habit. When Harry was growing up, he’d start the day with headstands – in his boxers and in private. If he heard someone about to come in he would go: “No! Don’t open! Please God don’t open!” He also had a bar to hang on “like a skilled acrobat”.
5. He’s forever appearing at the end of Harry’s bed
Harold must be a deep sleeper. On several occasions in Spare, he wakes up to find the actual Prince of Wales sitting at the foot of his bed, like a Christmas stocking.
How long has he been there? All night? Usually he has something important to say, but in one instance, he looms over his “darling boy” and “tickle my face until I fell asleep”. Say what you like about Charles but any parent knows that if you want your child to drift off quietly, you relentlessly tickle their face.
6. He bathes with a ghettoblaster
As Willy and Harold tucked into fish fingers and cottage pie, “we heard Pa padding past in his slippers, coming from his bath”. Charles “was carrying his ‘wireless’, which is what he called his portable CD player on which he liked to listen to his ‘storybooks’ while soaking”.
This may have been 1997, but it is difficult to understand why the Balmoral budget couldn’t stretch to a CD player in Charles’s bathroom, to save him from hauling the thing around and risking electrocution. The only plausible explanation is that these “storybooks” are not something he wants people to know he listens to. Charles, there’s nothing embarrassing about The Goon Show.
7. He should be on Gogglebox
“He never read [the press]. He read everything else, from Shakespeare to White Papers on climate change, but never the news.(He did watch the BBC, but he’d often end up throwing the controller at the TV.)” Same, Charles. This is the King, however, so we cannot be sure he didn’t have the literal controller of BBC News called in, picked up by a protection officer and hurled across the room.
8. He sleeps on the job
Harry writes about how hard his father works. Often, he and Willy would “find him at his desk amid mountains of bulging post bags. More than once we discovered him, face on the desk, fast asleep. We’d shake his shoulders and up he’d bob, a piece of paper stuck to his forehead.” That is no way to treat a man who is simply sniffing every letter he’s received before replying.

 

[ChipDex]

Why has he never done these things? Surely, he can drive? Why didn't he buy a car? What stopped him from ordering something from amazon or online? Didn't he lock his own apartment or house when he left it? If he was in the army, he will have got a salary. So he will have needed a bank account for it to be paid into, so why didn't he use that to buy things?

He can obviously pay for a lads trip so why can't he just order from amazon? This is all so weird and makes no sense. He must have got some kind of allowance; otherwise, how did he buy his weed?

BIB

He had one.

Prince Harry's old car that he used to drive Meghan around Britain goes on sale

It could be yours if you have a spare £70,000 lying around.

metro.co.uk

 

[PoppysMumma]

I RANG GRANNY TO TELL her beforehand.
Pa too. And I sent Willy a text.
I also told the Bee, giving him advance notice of the lawsuit, letting him know we had a statement ready to go, asking him to please redirect to our office all the press inquiries it would inevitably trigger.
He wished us luck!
It was amusing, therefore, when I heard that he and the Wasp were claiming to have had no advance warning.
In announcing the lawsuit I laid out my case to the world: My wife has become one of the latest victims of a British tabloid press that wages campaigns against individuals with no thought to the consequences—a ruthless campaign that has escalated over the past year, throughout her pregnancy and while raising our newborn son…I cannot begin to describe how painful it has been…Though this action may not be the safe one, it is the right one. Because my deepest fear is history repeating itself…I lost my mother and now I watch my wife falling victim to the same powerful forces.
The lawsuit wasn’t covered as widely as, say, Meg’s daring to shut her own car door. In fact, it was barely covered at all.
Nonetheless, friends took note. Many texted: Why now?
Simple. In a few days the privacy laws in Britain were going to change in the tabloids’ favor. We wanted our case to be heard before a crooked bat was introduced into the game.
Friends also asked: Why sue at all when you’re riding so high in the press? The South Africa tour was a triumph, coverage was wildly positive.
That’s the whole point, I explained. This isn’t about wanting or needing good press. It’s about not letting people get away with abuse. And lies. Especially the kind of lies that can destroy innocents. Maybe I sounded a bit self-righteous.
Maybe I sounded as if I was on my high horse.
But shortly after announcing our lawsuit I felt energized by a ghastly story in the Express.
How Meghan Markle’s flowers may have put Princess Charlotte’s life at risk. This latest “scandal” concerned the flower crowns worn by our bridesmaids, more than a year earlier. Included in the crowns were a few lilies of the valley, which can be poisonous to children. Provided the children eat the lilies. Even then, the reaction would be discomfort, concerning to parents, but only in the rarest cases would such a thing be fatal.
Never mind that an official florist put together these crowns.
Never mind that it wasn’t Meg who made this “dangerous decision.”
Never mind that previous royal brides, including Kate and my mother, had also used lilies of the valley.
Never mind all that.
The story of Meghan the Murderess was just too good. An accompanying photo showed my poor little niece wearing her crown, face contorted in a paroxysm of agony, or a sneeze. Alongside this photo was a shot of Meg looking sublimely unconcerned about the imminent death of this angelic child.

Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex.

Thank you @Anna2020

 

[toninottony]

IT DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE she would still be numb from the epidural 2 hours later and then slowly recovering. Also they have to catheterise you with an epidural, which means you would then need that removed and pass your trial without catheter - i.e. monitored for several hours to make sure you wee enough. Also she seems to go from minimal dilation to pushing the baby out instantaneously.

There is either some medical malpractice going on, or I'm on #teamsurrogate

The other thing that has me totally calling bullshit is I do recall from having given birth that my son was placed on my middle while the cord was cut THEN picked up by I think it was his pediatrician because he was 6 weeks premature so he was immediately being assessed to see if he was going to be life flighted to UC Davis or would be able to stay at our local hospital

 

[LadyMuck]

HarryMarkle WordPress. Good read, but a long one this time!

Pitiful And Spiteful Excerpts From ‘S P A R E’

More excerpts from S P A R E have been released and with the four pre-recorded interviews to promote the book, one must ask why is TOS doing this if as he claims he wishes to reconcile with his fat…

harrymarkle.wordpress.com

So Harry, what first attracted you to Meghan?

It was her shiny nose, her long tongue, her bright eyes....

And her whiskers (in cat pic)!

 

[DanDanTheIceCreamMan]

Apparently the Quora post which originally said that this assault story would be coming out has been updated. Since it hasn't yet come out it's a "I'll believe it when I see it" situation, but if its true he asked the RF for help, for this latest alleged incident, and they said no, fair play to them. View attachment 1874888

I hope this is untrue.

 

[LadyMuck]

Good point. Wonder if Loyde is happy about this

 

[9Pine]

Oh the cringe...
View attachment 1873860

In fact, this:-

 

[carolinew]

So basically Harry & Meghan wanted to be treated like royalty but without having to do any of the duties. They thought that by moving to America, they would be regarded highly there, especially with their royal titles of Duke & Duchess, and everybody who is anybody would want to invite them to every party or charity event. Everyone would be hanging onto their every word. But then they quickly realised they also wanted a luxury lifestyle and that comes with a hefty price tag and with no real job, skills or talent between the two of them, how were they going to achieve this? So, they hatched a plan to gain attention and public sympathy, by making out that the RF or someone in the RF was racist & that meghan had been treated badly. They give Oprah the interview of the century which turned out not to be an interview, more a very one sided view with absolutely NO evidence whatsoever to back up everything they were saying. Netflix offered them a mega deal and once they smelt the money and realised they could demand any price, Harry also got his book deal. These interviews, documentary and book were the ONLY way these two could actually get an income. They have no real talent or skill, apart from lying, fabricating the truth, living in cloud cuckoo world and using words that no-one understands. They are nasty, manipulative and their true colours are definitely shining through. Pretty sure Diana would not have liked Meghan’s influence over Harry, nor the way Harry has attacked his brother, Pa and everyone who has ever disagreed with him. Hope the Americans are seeing through their web of lies and friends and colleagues are ditching them quickly - who in their right mind would want to be associated with these two egotistical idiots?

Hear! Hear!

 

[Happy Lady]

Thanks for asking I had to do a timed test which I just got finished in time. Not sure how well I did as it was difficult to get it all done in the time allocated. If I pass the test then I'll be offered an interview.

Sounds exciting Scotchy. What sort of job is it?

 

[Rosesarepink]

I RANG GRANNY TO TELL her beforehand.
Pa too. And I sent Willy a text.
I also told the Bee, giving him advance notice of the lawsuit, letting him know we had a statement ready to go, asking him to please redirect to our office all the press inquiries it would inevitably trigger.
He wished us luck!
It was amusing, therefore, when I heard that he and the Wasp were claiming to have had no advance warning.
In announcing the lawsuit I laid out my case to the world: My wife has become one of the latest victims of a British tabloid press that wages campaigns against individuals with no thought to the consequences—a ruthless campaign that has escalated over the past year, throughout her pregnancy and while raising our newborn son…I cannot begin to describe how painful it has been…Though this action may not be the safe one, it is the right one. Because my deepest fear is history repeating itself…I lost my mother and now I watch my wife falling victim to the same powerful forces.
The lawsuit wasn’t covered as widely as, say, Meg’s daring to shut her own car door. In fact, it was barely covered at all.
Nonetheless, friends took note. Many texted: Why now?
Simple. In a few days the privacy laws in Britain were going to change in the tabloids’ favor. We wanted our case to be heard before a crooked bat was introduced into the game.
Friends also asked: Why sue at all when you’re riding so high in the press? The South Africa tour was a triumph, coverage was wildly positive.
That’s the whole point, I explained. This isn’t about wanting or needing good press. It’s about not letting people get away with abuse. And lies. Especially the kind of lies that can destroy innocents. Maybe I sounded a bit self-righteous.
Maybe I sounded as if I was on my high horse.
But shortly after announcing our lawsuit I felt energized by a ghastly story in the Express.
How Meghan Markle’s flowers may have put Princess Charlotte’s life at risk. This latest “scandal” concerned the flower crowns worn by our bridesmaids, more than a year earlier. Included in the crowns were a few lilies of the valley, which can be poisonous to children. Provided the children eat the lilies. Even then, the reaction would be discomfort, concerning to parents, but only in the rarest cases would such a thing be fatal.
Never mind that an official florist put together these crowns.
Never mind that it wasn’t Meg who made this “dangerous decision.”
Never mind that previous royal brides, including Kate and my mother, had also used lilies of the valley.
Never mind all that.
The story of Meghan the Murderess was just too good. An accompanying photo showed my poor little niece wearing her crown, face contorted in a paroxysm of agony, or a sneeze. Alongside this photo was a shot of Meg looking sublimely unconcerned about the imminent death of this angelic child.

Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex.

That is sick sick sick sick sick sick